Disclaimer: I don't own this. The all-powerful Libba Bray does. All shall bow down to her.

O Holy Bray

The critics are raving madly

This is a fic of my dear devotion

Long lay fanfiction

Without Terrible Beauty

But now it's there, and my soul's felt its worth

A thrill of hope, fic authors are rejoicing

For yonder breaks a new and glorious story

Fall on your knees! O hear the critics voices!

O book divine! O book by Libba Bray!

O book divine! O book by Libba Bray!

Truly she taught us to shiver with terror

Her law is women and her women are powerful

Chains shall they break, for corsets are no longer

And in her name, all labels of chick lit will cease

Sweet hymns of joy in grateful chorus raise we

Let within us praise Her Holy Name

Libba is the author, O praise her name forever
Her pow'r and glory evermore proclaim

Her pow'r and glory evermore proclaim

To the tune of "O Holy Night", a carol. We had to do it a lot in choir, and then in our concert. Well, it wasn't our song, but between choirs the whole audience and the choirs who weren't performing did carols. Now you understand. Hopefully.

I must admit. I lied. I said the next chapter would be Felicity, but it's Gemma. So there.

I Don't Know

I'm in the Garden, looking at the blue sky dotted with clouds. It looks like a kitten, with paws too big for its body.

Suddenly, Kartik is beside me. I go close to him, closer than I should. His hand trails up to my neck, sending shivers down my spine. Unconquerable warmth has taken my body. His hand moves to my cheek, stroking it softly. I want it so badly.

"I can't change destiny," he whispers huskily, his mouth next to my ear. Images run through my head at top speed.

"Then why should you?" I find myself replying. Then his lips are on mine, sending that heat through my body, up and down. I kiss him back, not able to stop myself. His hands move to my waist, though my corset stops him from feeling my body. My white skin contrasts with his darkness. They are in his hair, tangled up there.

Shivers rack my body. I can't stop the feeling. We break apart. I close our bodies together again, taken up in this glorious moment. I can't break from him. It won't be like last time. He pulls away. Pippa is where he should be. She smiles viciously, her pointed teeth like daggers wanting to tear me limb from limb. Her eyes are worse. Her hair is wild and tangled, and something looks like it wants to ooze from her body.

"Come to me Gemma. Come to me," she whispers. Her voice is cracked and eerie. I start to run away.

"You can't escape Gemma! You can't escape what is meant to happen!" Those words echo all around me, bouncing off the trees, capturing the plants, and binding the flowers.

"You can't hide."

I wake up, drenched in sweat. Pippa is going to come for me. I know it. She wants me. I can't stop her. She will join up with Eugenia Spence and create an army of Dark Spirits. I know this will happen. I just don't know how I can stop it.

The sun is rising, blissfully unaware of the turmoil in another world. The light pinks, oranges, yellows, all cheerful and ready for another day. Does the sun not know of the slums, the poverty and violence in the world? People say the sun is encouraging, but to me, it's just another myth.

I don't know what to do about it though. I really don't know what to do. I know that Felicity and Ann want to go back to the realms, but I am scared to. I don't know what is going to be there. Spirits from the Winterlands could be there. She might have sent them.

I know that they want to go back, and they can't without me. Sometimes I feel like that is the only reason why they are friends with me, that if the Realms hadn't chosen me, we wouldn't be seeing each other. I would be an outcast. I would be like Ann. But I love the Realms. As much as I am scared of them, the garden gives me peace. It used to, at least. Now, I'm not so sure.

Another thing I am not sure of. When does the list end? Never.

Asha could help me though. Hopefully. The Untouchables could be my allies. I offered them hope. They should get a share of the magic. Ann would agree with me. She does know what it is like to be untouchable.

But Philon and the centaurs… I promised them too. If I don't give them a share of the magic, they could go with the Winterlands, against me.

There are too many choices. Too many for me to make alone. Oh right. The members of the Order are going to come for me and be angry about the new alliances I have founded. One more thing to worry about. One more thing I don't know what to do about. Great. Jolly good. Wonderful.

I wonder if I will ever see all the Realms have to offer. There's so much I don't know, and so much I need to know. I just hope I can learn them in time. I don't know how much time I actually have. I can only hope it's enough.

I wish Mother were here. She would help me. Then again, we would probably get into horrible arguments again. We even did in the Garden. But I know that she's not coming back. I know she won't, but I still want her. I never really knew her, only the life she wanted.

One more thing I don't know. One more mystery to solve. One more thing that should be in my mind somewhere. One more thing that I should know.

I want to know something. Anything, just anything that will help me in this war. This war that I don't want to fight. This war that could end badly. Or well.

I just don't know.

Okay. I changed this. A lot. I didn't really like it at first, and then Maddycat said that she didn't really either, so I changed it. This seems more like Gemma I guess. Or at least more about Gemma and less about others. Hope you like it.