Chapter Three

Cassadine Island, Greece

Nikolas reached into his pocket for his ringing cell, watching the waves crash against the beach below. "Nikolas Cassadine"

"It's Jason Morgan."

Memories of Nikolas' life in Port Charles flashed before him, before resting on the fact that Jason had gotten married sometime in the last week. Emily had probably come home…oh, Em…had something happened? Where was she? Was she alright? Was she….Nikolas didn't even want to think about it.

"Congratulations on your wedding…is she…"

"Emily's fine. She's in the hospital, but she's fine." Nikolas let out a breath he didn't know he'd been holding. "She collapsed at my wedding, and Monica ran tests here at GH and…"

"You all found out her secret."

"Why didn't you tell me? I know we're not good friends or anything, but we both know we'd do anything for Em."

"It was her secret to tell. I told her a years ago to tell someone, anyone. That she should lean on someone. But you know Emily, she thought it wasn't in the cards."

"I guess I do now. But she told Lucky not to call you. She had this fire in her eyes, she was so mad at all of us for finding out. Lucky had this whole talking in code conversation, it just drove me nuts."

"So frankly, I should talk to Lucky. But I won't. I'll arrive in Port Charles sometime late tonight. Since Lucky knows how to watch out for when people get in to town, tell him to meet me at Wyndemere."

"That's all I need to know? What the hell happened between you and my sister?"

"You'll know soon enough, I'm just not the one to tell you. Just know that I would never do anything to hurt her. Can you trust me?"

"Yes. I'll give Lucky your message." Jason was heard sighing as he hung up.

"Mademoiselle?" Nikolas turned around.

"Yes, sir."

"Please tell them to get the jet ready as soon as possible. I would like to leave for Port Charles immediately."

"Yes. Anything else, sir."

"Send some things over to Wyndemere. I shall be staying for at least a month for now. Let them know I am arriving tonight."

"I will call right away, your highness."

"Thank you."

Back in Port Charles…

"Lucky"

"Jason"

"Nikolas has told me he's arriving sometime late tonight and that you would figure out when. Meet him at Wyndemere."

"Is he upset?"

"No, I guess not. I told him about you and Emily talking in code. I asked him what he did…Lucky…he swore he didn't, but if I find out…"

"Jason, he would do everything to protect her and nothing to hurt her. He knows her to well and it scares her, that's all."

"That's what he said."

"Then believe it. I don't know the whole story, I don't know why the two of them left at around the same time, I don't know where she's been, but it wasn't college."

"How do you know?"

"I did some digging last night. She dropped last year, said she put herself in some kind of center for a break. I think my brother knows more than what he's letting on, and I'm going to find out what."

Port Charles, around 11pm, General Hospital

"Lucky"

"I knew you would come here first, Nikolas."

"Didn't listen," Nikolas said.

"Never to you, big brother."

Both men looked towards the door that held their friend. Nikolas' face fell, his features lightened. He glanced back at Lucky.

"How is she…I mean, really, how is she."

"Holding up, as always. But back in her funk of a shell, trying to hide from all of us. I found out she dropped Stanford to go to some kind of clinic before coming back to Jason's wedding. She had fire in her eyes, she was so mad that I might call you to come see her. I gotta warn you man. She seems to be in a dream world or something, not wanting to face reality, talking to no one."

"Alright. Thanks. I'll meet you at Wyndemere later."

Lucky silently patted Nikolas' shoulder before walking away. "Good luck."

Nikolas walked in to find Emily asleep, locking the door behind him. He pulled the doctors stool over to the side of the bed, silently staring, amazed by how little had changed on the outside. He wondered what had made her change on the inside; face off to even Lucky, who was supposedly the only person to make her truly laugh in the world. He thought about the last times they were together, the last time he saw her in the garden. Twenty minutes went by and Emily's eyes lifted ever so slightly.

"Am I dreaming?"

"Only if you want to be." Nikolas replied, slowly opening his eyes more.

"Good. I don't need to talk to you. Just see you."

"Why do you think that is? Am I that good looking to you?" Nikolas suppressed the chuckle that wanted to escape.

"Because…I can't say. The therapists, they want me to say it, they know I'm thinking it, but I won't. Never."

"Why not? Why can't you tell someone? Even me?"

"Because then it will change. I'll matter. I'll have to live up to standards. Your standards."

"Why my standards?"

"If I told you out of dreams that I loved you, you wouldn't love me back. You told me you cared once, and remember our fight? I started it, and I'm sorry."

"I know you are, I've known for a long time."

"I'm always someone's friend…always helping…everyone always counts on me. But when it comes time for me to count on someone…they leave me."

Nikolas grabbed her hand, a silent protest raging in his head, but instead he replied lightly, "I know, honey, I know."

Emily moved over, a little at a time. "Lay with me so I can dream something else. I can't stand talking to you anymore. It's too hard."

Nikolas slid up onto the bed, holding Emily to his side. "It's okay."

"Your really not here, are you? You'll never come back…" and with that, Emily fell back asleep, oblivious to their conversation, not even noticing she was awake and that Nikolas was really there.

He held her for a long time, for what seemed like eternity on the clock, but only a few seconds to him. Nikolas watched her ragged breathing turn slowly into calmness, knowing she was nearing happy thoughts again, no matter what they may be.

Nikolas reached over and turned on the radio, listening to the last few bars of the song before turning it off, thinking it was to ironic to listen to.

I'm gonna smile my best smile
And I'm gonna laugh like it's going out of style
Look into his eyes and pray that he don't see
That learning to live again is killing me….
Oh this learning to live again is killing me
God this learning to live again is killing me…

A few minutes past and Nikolas slowly moved out of the bed, covering Emily up again. Sitting on the stool, he just moved his hands to grasp hers, finally falling asleep himself, his head next to her stomach.

A few hours past and it was nearing 3am on his watch when he woke up. Unlocking the door, he turned to leave. Looking back once more, he whispered to no one in particular "God, I love you…."

A few hours later, at Wyndemere in the study…

Nikolas and Lucky sat silent for a long time, thinking about Emily, trying to figure out how to get her back to the way she was.

"It's bad Lucky. She thought she was dreaming. In the morning she won't remember I was there, and you must not let on that I am back from Greece. Only you and Jason will know. . . . I can't believe this."

"Why let her think that your not really here, that you didn't visit last night?"

"It's better this way, at least for awhile. You don't understand the whole story between us. She can't tell you, so I'll try to fill you in so you at least understand. I only trust you with this because I don't know when she'll come out of her dream world. I'll have her past year story on my desk by afternoon."

"How did you do that? I couldn't even find information of where she's been!"

"I've been having some of my guards follow her. Ever since she left Port Charles last year I've had her followed. I feel bad about it, but I had to know where she was. I couldn't just forget about her…but she asked me not to follow her, so I just had the guards not tell me. I told them to keep the information though."

"Jason hinted to me about your conversation, but…you really love her don't you?"

Nikolas ignored Lucky's questions and instead proceeded to a story.

"I was always busy with business, my infatuations with Katherine and Robin. I confided to Emily my every problem, and she would just sit by my side and offer advice. I never thought it would be stressful for her to hear, for her to deal with. But I soon began to realize what a toll we had all taken on her. You and Liz had broken up…"

Lucky interrupted, "…and I dumped my problems on her too…"

"Right. Everyone was leaning on her. There was A.J.'s alcohol problems, Alan's pills, Monica's breakdowns, and the whole Michael fiasco which included Jason, Carly, and Sonny. It became to much for her, especially…especially after she found out about the cancer, or should I say I did. I found her at Mercy one day, I was there for a city clinic meeting, and I looked over doctors notes. I convinced her to come over to Wyndemere for dinner and tell me all about it." Nikolas sighed, hating himself little by little. "She had convinced herself that she didn't want to burden anyone else, that no one was to know. She swore me to secrecy, and I agreed. I don't know why, but I did. I tried to convince her to talk to someone, anyone. Instead she just kept on pilling hers and everyone else's problems on top of each other, forgetting about her health and taking care of herself for a change."

"Lucky, I started falling for her. How could I not? She wasn't a girl anymore; I was finding the strong-willed, loyal, woman inside her. She wasn't just my best friend…she was my soul mate."

"One night she called me when I was in my study, scared out of her mind about something. I didn't know what had happened, but I knew she needed to talk to someone. I told her to meet me in the gardens, and she did. I saw her that night…so broken. She couldn't find anyone to talk to, and… I just took her in my arms and asked her what was wrong. I was so terrified of losing her…and I told her so."

"She left that night, angry, without saying a word to anyone. I only knew where she had gone because I had a guard follow her. All I know right now is that she enrolled in a therapy clinic in Australia. I'll have the report this afternoon."

Minutes ticked by into silence before Nikolas spoke again.

"I can't believe my last words to her. We had this big fight…"

Minutes went by before Lucky got his bearings to reply. "Nik, what did you say to her?"

Nikolas took a deep breath in and out, before replying.

"I asked her why she does everything in her power to protect everyone. Why she doesn't stop when it consumes her, why she doesn't let anyone know what she's feeling. She told me…god, Lucky…she told me she didn't deserve love! You know how much I wanted to; tried to, change her mind? Try and figure out why she felt that way? I don't think she understood herself. I think it scared her that I knew what she was thinking. She shut me out. Maybe that's why she left. She didn't know who she was anymore, so I suppose she thought she couldn't love anyone back. I was trying to love someone who didn't know herself. Maybe that's why she went there…to find herself, to figure it out. She may not know it, but it hurt me more to have her away from me than angry with me."

The Next Day at GH…

"Monica, we just can't."

"Why Jason? Why can't we tell her that Nikolas is here? Wouldn't that help her? Lucky?"

"I thought it would, but she woke up this morning still in that dreaming place. I talked to him last night about it, and he sounded so sure that we should keep him being in PC a secret. She's convinced herself that he doesn't care anymore."

"But why would he come to visit her then, if she doesn't want to see him?" Monica's voice filled with worry over her daughter.

"Monica, she knows he loves him. That's what scares her." Jason said.

Lucky agreed. "We need to keep this a secret, between us. I have a feeling he'll be coming in at night to see her, so that won't give anyone the chance to even know he's here. No one visits during the night."

"I guess I will allow that…if only it gets her better. I don't know what she's been through. I've requested a check of her records and it shows she's been in Australia in a therapy clinic. Just think, my baby in a clinic, needing therapy. What was she thinking?"

All were silent, since no one knew the answer…

Chapter Four: A Hospital Visit Recorded…

Nearly two months later, Emily seemed out of her dream state while talking with Lucky.

"Lucky…I need to ask you something."

"Anything."

"I'm feeling better now. I'd like you to call Nikolas, get in touch with him."

"Why? What brought this on all the sudden?"

"Its hard to explain…I used to have these dreams, these conversations. But for the last week, I haven't. Lucky, I'm sorry…"

"It's alright, Em. What's so wrong about not having them anymore? What kind of dreams were they?"

"I'm beginning to miss it, those short conversations that we would say hello and sit there in perfect silence… You know about Australia now, all I went through – because I told you. But I think Nik needs to know to, since he was the one that pushed me to the point."

"You miss him, uh?"

"Hey, he'd probably never admit it either."

"Nik…"

"What Lucky? What am I supposed to say to that? You're so smart, you even could have fabricated that tape!"

"You knew I was taping her, Monica even knew. Heck, it was Jason's idea so don't blame me for something like this. You knew she would think it was all a dream, it was even your idea."

"It's complicated."

Lucky gave a smirk. "Yeah, about as complicated as two fictional characters in love. Ha. Man, your life is like one big soap opera."

Ignoring his comment, Nikolas simply replied, "I'll talk to her tomorrow. Do you think she'll buy my 'emergency half-a-day plane ride' to see her?"

Chapter Six: Home is where my heart is…

Emily opened her eyes a little as she heard her door open just after 6pm, two hours past visiting time. Assuming it was a nurse, she proceeded to close her eyes back into sleep.

"Your mom said I could come in, since I just landed. I didn't want to wait until tomorrow, Lucky made it sound important."

Emily's eyes slowly opened, not believing who it was – for real. "Nik?"

"Yeah, its me. Who else could travel half way around the world in half a day."

"Lucky should've not made it seem so important."

"Hey, are you telling me I should've waited until tomorrow? That your not that important to me, that I would not have to utter the word 'immediately' to get me to see you?..." Nikolas said in a sarcastic tone, half-grinning.

"Oh no." Emily said, laughing. "That princely ego is back."

"Well, at least I made you laugh. How are you?"

"Fine. Beginning to, anyway. Why did you come so soon? What did Lucky say?"

"All he said was 'Emily would like to see you. She's back in town'. That's all. I called to Mrs. Landsbury, 'I'm going home!' and she was overjoyed, especially when she figured I would be seeing a girl."

"I've always enjoyed her, you know, she's something."

"Yes, the whole women's-intuition and always trying to get me to 'see the light' and fall in love, you know. She thinks your pretty special to. She sends her love, and this card." Nikolas handed Emily an envelope, which she tore into gracefully.

"Dear Miss Emily, so glad to see you are doing well. Come visit us soon, I know this place would lighten up – and so would Master Nikolas. Yours, Mrs. Landsbury. Oh, isn't she great."

"Well, would you? You can return tonight with me, or even visit tomorrow if you like."

"Let me guess, you've worked it out with my mom and the hospital?"

"Sure, and Mrs. Landsbury's always right you know. Wyndemere is cold and dark without you."

"But what about you?"

"Are we going to go through this again?" Nikolas gave her a sideways glance. "You are one of the most important people in my life. I know I haven't seen you in over a year, and we haven't even talked."

Emily interrupted, "Oh, yes we have. In my dreams."

"What do you mean?" Nikolas said, trying to hide his secret.

"We talked. You sat with me, even when I didn't want you here." Emily said, and Nikolas immediately noticed a glint in her eye.

"And what else? There is that small glint in your eyes that only I notice, after all."

"…I've never felt so safe in anyone's arms but yours. Not even when I was little and I used to run to Jason, or hide with Lucky in Arizona. . . I'm so glad your back."

Weeks later, Wyndemere…

"Good evening Miss Emily."

"Nice to see you Mrs. Landsbury. How are you?"

"Very good. Master Nikolas is in his study, pouring over this weeks reports. I'm sure you can cheer him up, take him away from his work. He does trust you the most."

"Yes, he does."