Onset
By: NonameJane
Disclaimer- Don't own RK.
AN- Had this for a while, just been to busy/lazy to post it. I am a procrastinator.
Ch6 Your Eyes Say More Than Words Ever Could
The two sat themselves on a carved gray, stone bench outside, toward the back of the temple. Aoshi was seated on the far left, close to a large a maple and Misao placed herself on the opposite side; she didn't want to sit to close to him. Misao smoothed her hands along the surface, anxiously, exploring the ridges in the cut marble with her fingertips. Aoshi just kept his eyes forward, glancing at the view before him, quietly. Misao wasn't sure how to put all her tangled feelings into words, but she wanted to be free of their constant clawing on her heart. She placed her hands in her lap.
"Aoshi-sama?"
"Hm?" He murmured low in his throat.
Misao released a buried breath, "I'm not sure if I know how to word this right, but there have been things going on."
"Things?"
She looked in his direction and nodded. " Yeah. Things I don't like." Misao sighed, looking toward the blue sky.
Aoshi closed his eyes, " You are troubled, then?"
"I don't know. It's just...I'm sick of being treated as little kid, you know?" She blinked and continued, " For example, Jiya went out the other day, and I noticed he was acting strangely, so, I asked him if something was wrong."
He remained silent, waiting for her to proceed.
"And he told me 'no worries,' as if I would just believe it and let it go. I know something is bothering him, but he just won't tell me. The others, too. Do they think I can't handle it? Is that it?" The last part of the response was oozing with muffled bitterness. She did attempt to repress it but failed.
Misao didn't even know if he would answer her inquiry. She lifted her eyes away from him, and closed hers, as well. She could hear distant, garbled voices from the town below, but couldn't make out any words, clearly.
"They wish to protect you, Misao." His voice was soft, almost as distant as the others.
"But that's just it! I want them to treat me as a friend, not as a parent to a child. Do they think I'm still 5 years old? They exclude me from things so much because I'm 'too young.' How can I grow up, if they won't let me?" Her tone, that time, sounded fatigued, desperate. He seemed to pick up on it.
" You've got time, to grow up."
She shifted, " I don't get it, though. You were only 15 when you were chosen to be okashira. You were respected, and seen as an adult, a leader. Even before then, you were treated on an adult level. I mean, look at me. I'm 18 and supposed to have been an adult a long time ago, but I'm never treated as one."
His eyes opened, and centered on Misao. She could feel them focusing on her, it gave her a nervous feeling in the pit of her stomach.
"Times were different. Back then, you were seen as a man, a warrior, the moment you could handle a sword. Age, was an unimportant factor and ignored. Responsibilities were to be bared indiscriminately." He remained deadpan, but she could sense the undercurrent of emotion rising beneath it. A cloud covered the sun, dimming its brightness, momentarily.
" So you're saying..." Misao trailed off.
"You are the granddaughter of the former okashira. My okashira. We were ordered to keep you away from the harshness of this life. You were never to be treated or put in the same position as myself or the others. However..." This time he trailed off and released a sigh, almost inaudible to the ears.
She knew what he meant, he didn't need to go any further.
"So how can I prove myself, then? To get them to let me bear part of that burden."
He didn't answer, but just leaned back slightly, closing his eyes once more.
"You do it, too, Aoshi-sama. I know that. That makes me pretty sure you would know how to help." Misao lifted a brow at him.
Still, he didn't respond.
She shook her head, "Maybe, that was the wrong way to ask, I don't know." Or maybe, he didn't know either. Didn't know how to respond, how to change that, how to stop being a metaphorical shield.
Maybe, she was trapped, forever imprisoned in a complacent, suffocating world she could not change.
She tried to defuse the thought briskly by changing the subject. It was a topic she stressed over too much, it was best to leave it alone for now.
" I think that's why I had a bad dream last night. I can't remember it, but I felt like, when I woke up, I was running from something. I guess this could be it, the way I'm feeling could be stressing me out and I want to escape from it."
Misao smiled to herself, engrossed in the possibility of that speculation. "Yeah, that could be it. Like I said, though, I want to fix it."
"There is no rush, give it time. That's the solution."
" Hai, you're right." She took the hint, it would be hard for Jiya, hard for the others, hard for him to accept the fact she wasn't a little girl anymore. They all looked at her from behind a veil; a veil of paternal instincts and eternal protection. Misao figured then, it would do no good to demand certain treatment. They would have to grow now, not her.
She rose to her feet.
How is it that she didn't realize that before? At least, with his help, she know knew that it isn't a power struggle, only a matter of time.
"Thanks for talking to me, Aoshi-sama. It helped a lot and I think I understand now. But, now I have something to do."
"Oh?" He stood up, too.
" Yep. Ask what that Akira guy's problem is. He was a real jerk last night; he hurt my feelings, a little. I mean he's usually really kind, that's what confuses me. Wait, I don't think you've spoken to him yet have you, Aoshi-sama?"
"You want me to speak with him, then?" Aoshi queried.
" No, I'll be alright. I can take him," she giggled, " I'll see you later Aoshi-sama."
Misao skipped off toward the right of the road; back toward the town, and Aoshi turned back toward the temple.
She couldn't help but feel uneasy where her conversation with Akira would lead.
Perhaps, it would lead her right off a cliff.
AN2- Thanks again to my beta reader sueb262! I'm going to put in spacing for previous chapters today.