Boone could do CPR. He could, he'd done the training, he knew the ABC of resuscitation and he'd past that stupid test. And yet, when it came down to it, he couldn't save Rose. He couldn't do it right. He couldn't put off his losing streak for the sake of someone else. And if Jack hadn't happened along when he did then Rose probably wouldn't have made it.
Boone was a lifeguard. He had a license. But when Joanna, her name was Joanna, was out there drowning, he couldn't save her. He couldn't even save himself. Jack had to do it. Again. And then, because Jack was busy saving him, Joanna had died. And it was all Boone's fault.
The night before things were going well. Actually, they were still stuck on this godforsaken island so things weren't great, but they were better. Boone had a conversation with Jack. Well, if you could call it that. Strong, satisfied, born to be a hero Jack. Everything that Boone wanted to be. And everything that Boone wanted if he was honest. Not that he stood a cat's chance in hell, but a boy could dream couldn't he?
And Boone thought it actually went pretty well. He was reasonably confident, didn't say anything too stupid, held himself together. And, okay, Jack thought he was pretty lame for working at a bridal company but that could be gotten over. He'd even given Jack some advice. He'd told him to get some sleep. And he had. He was sleeping when Joanna got swept out. He was sleeping when Boone went to save her. He was sleeping until it was too late to save them both. So Joanna's death was doubly Boone's fault. Well, good to know.
"Wow, you must be the worst lifeguard ever."
Shannon. Of course it was Shannon. Come to gloat. At least Boone tried to save someone, which more than she'd done her entire life. But he didn't bother saying anything to her. Not that that put her off.
"Or was it just a ploy?" she asked. "Did you just want to get saved by the doctor?"
Boone gave her a cold look. "You're screwed up, you know that?"
Shannon raised her eyebrows. "Don't even pretend like you don't like him."
"Not at the expense of someone else's life," Boone replied, disgusted by how cold she was being.
She gave him a satisfied smile. Oh, right, she was playing him again. He really should see these things coming by now.
"But you do like him," she nodded.
Boone rolled his eyes, exasperated. "What are you gonna do, Shannon? Blackmail me? Sabrina's not here," he pointed out. "And while we're on the subject, I am so sick of your shit. You've been holding this over my head since I was fifteen and you caught me making out with Mac Roderick. Maybe I'll just tell Sabrina myself."
Shannon laughed. "Right, yeah, you're gonna tell Sabrina you're gay, I'd love to see that conversation."
"I'm not gay, I'm bi," he said defensively.
"Oh what's the difference?" Shannon replied offhandedly, clearly not caring.
"The difference is I still have sex with girls," Boone pointed out.
"So, you have sex with boys too, that sounds pretty gay to me," she shrugged.
Boone rolled his eyes. This was prime candidate for conversation that was never going to go anywhere. He hated how Shannon knew all this stuff about him. Seriously, what were the chances of her going around the back of the local dinner at the exact time that he was engaging in some of that experimenting that you hear about. And, yeah, usually people did it in college but Boone always considered himself ahead of his years. So the first time he ever made out with a boy, Shannon just happened to see them. Typical. He'd considered over the years that she'd followed him, that she wanted to find something, but that thought made him uncomfortable so he pushed it away.
And now she was making it very difficult for him to innocently think about Jack's sure and expert hands doing something they'd never really do. It was just something to occupy his mind, a little sexual fantasy to make the day go by faster. There was nothing wrong with that. It's not like Jack was ever going to find out. Except now Shannon was making him think that she just might accidentally let slip at some inopportune moment. Not that there would be a particularly opportune moment for that bit of information to come into the open but Shannon had always known that timing was everything.
And Jack would be pissed. He wouldn't let Boone talk to him anymore. He wouldn't save him anymore. He'd let him fail. He'd let him die. And then he'd laugh because Boone should know better. And Boone really should.
"So do you want something?" Boone asked, aware that that question could mean a million things.
Shannon took her time considering her answer. "Not right now," she said, getting to her feet. "I'm gonna go change."
"Right, you've been wearing the same outfit for like ten minutes now," Boone quipped.
"Nothing wrong with looking your best, Boone," she replied. "It's not like there's a whole let else to do."
No, there wasn't a whole lot else to do at all. And Boone thought that even if there was something else to do he probably shouldn't attempt to do it. Maybe it was best to let people like Jack do things and he should just sit there quietly, keep himself to himself. He looked around the beach but he couldn't see Jack anymore. Which was a shame, he could use some more inspiration if he was gonna be sat with his thoughts all day.