LOZ: The Pyromaniac of TimeChapter2

Disclamer­--You Know for a story called the pyromaniac of time there was only a little bit of fire

The Fenox-Shut up I dont insult your stories

Disclamer-I don't write stories I just Disclame them

The Fenox-Well then do your job or I'll stab you in the heart with a golden Knife

Disclamer-Sue the fenox all you want he don't have no money so go ahead and sue him

The Fenox-your a very bad disclamer you know that right, ahhheem...I own nothing not even the things that belong to me

Disclamer-\/\/()\/\!11!1!111!one! I wish I could do that

The Fenox-Your suposed to do that now come here it's stabbin time

Disclamer- Ahhh no no stop the agaony the blood, ribs cracked, lungs punctured, spleen un accounted for

The Fenox-Muhahahahahahahahahahahahahaha (Coughs and has a brain fart) Wait what was i doing? Oh Yeah back to stabbing

Disclamer -Noooooooo Lord what did i do to piss you off. If you could please let me know i'll try to rectify the situation

---------------------

Link is seen running out of the forest with navi following him

Saria- Hey Link

Link- OMFG! it's a green haired monster were all gonna live hid yourself in my stomach mystic light bulb

eat's navi

Saria-no it's just me. I carved you a potat... I mean an ocarina

Link-THX

Saria-Hey some idiot burned down the deku tree and now the whole forest is on fire so can I go with you

Link-No you lyng sadistic whore...wait what... I don't care come on let's go

link starts violently coughing

Saria-Link are you okay

Link-I think I got a light bulb stuck in my throuht

Saria-Not a light bulb there imposible to get out of some one what ever are we going to do, link your going to die I miss you already

Link-The only thing that could save me is a fairy why do I have to be the only elf in the forest without a fairy

link coughs some more and navi emerges from his mouth

Link-Thank god it's a fariy miss fariy thing i have a light bulb in my thoruht can you help me

Navi-I'm sorry link I only wish I could have helped let you die

Saria-I'm bored lets get ouit of here

so they left the burning forest only to find an owl"

Owl-Blah Blah Blah Bah Blah Blah Blah Bah Blah Blah Blah Bah Blah Blah Blah Bah Blah Blah Blah Bah Blah Blah Blah Bah Blah Blah Blah Bah Blah Blah Blah Bah Blah Blah Blah Bah Blah Blah Blah Bah Blah Blah Blah Bah Blah Blah Blah Bah Blah Blah Blah Bah Blah Blah Blah Bah Blah Blah Blah Bah Blah Blah Blah Bah Blah Blah Blah Bah Blah Blah Blah Bah Blah Blah Blah Bah Blah Blah Blah BahBlah Blah Blah Bah Blah Blah Blah Bah Blah Blah Blah Bah Blah Blah Blah Bah Blah Blah Blah Bah Blah Blah Blah Bah Blah Blah Blah Bah Blah Blah Blah Bah Blah Blah Blah Bah Blah Blah Blah Bah Blah Blah Blah Bah Blah Blah Blah Bah Blah Blah Blah Bah Blah Blah Blah Bah Blah Blah Blah Bah Blah Blah Blah Bah Blah Blah Blah Bah Blah Blah Blah Bah Blah Blah Blah Bah Blah Blah Blah Bah Blah Blah Blah Bah Blah Blah Blah Bah Blah Blah Blah Bah Blah Blah Blah Bah Blah Blah Blah Bah Blah Blah Blah Bah Blah Blah Blah Bah Blah Blah Blah Bah Blah Blah Blah Bah Blah Blah Blah Bah Blah Blah Blah Bah Blah Blah Blah Bah Blah Blah Blah Bah Blah Blah Blah Bah Blah Blah Blah Bah Blah Blah Blah Bah Blah Blah Blah Bah Blah Blah Blah Bah Blah Blah Blah Bah Blah Blah Blah BahBlah Blah Blah Bah Blah Blah Blah Bah Blah Blah Blah Bah Blah Blah Blah Bah Blah Blah Blah Bah Blah Blah Blah Bah Blah Blah Blah Bah Blah Blah Blah Bah Blah Blah Blah Bah Blah Blah Blah Bah Blah Blah Blah Bah Blah Blah Blah Bah Blah Blah Blah Bah Blah Blah Blah Bah Blah Blah Blah Bah Blah Blah Blah Bah Blah Blah Blah Bah Blah Blah Blah Bah Blah Blah Blah Bah Blah Blah Blah Bah Blah Blah Blah Bah Blah Blah Blah Bah Blah Blah Blah Bah Blah Blah Blah Bah Blah Blah Blah Bah Blah Blah Blah Bah Blah Blah Blah Bah Blah Blah Blah Bah Blah Blah Blah Bah Blah Blah Blah Bah Blah Blah Blah Bah Blah Blah Blah Bah Blah Blah Blah Bah Blah Blah Blah Bah Blah Blah Blah Bah Blah Blah Blah Bah Blah Blah Blah Bah Blah Blah Blah Bah Blah Blah Blah Bah Blah Blah Blah BahBlah Blah Blah Bah Blah Blah Blah Bah Blah Blah Blah Bah Blah Blah Blah Bah Blah Blah Blah Bah Blah Blah Blah Bah Blah Blah Blah Bah Blah Blah Blah Bah Blah Blah Blah Bah Blah Blah Blah Bah Blah Blah Blah Bah Blah Blah Blah Bah Blah Blah Blah Bah Blah Blah Blah Bah Blah Blah Blah Bah Blah Blah Blah Bah Blah Blah Blah Bah Blah Blah Blah Bah Blah Blah Blah Bah Blah Blah Blah Bah Blah Blah Blah Bah Blah Blah Blah Bah Blah Blah Blah Bah Blah Blah Blah Bah Blah Blah Blah Bah Blah Blah Blah Bah Blah Blah Blah Bah Blah Blah Blah Bah Blah Blah Blah Bah Blah Blah Blah Bah Blah Blah Blah Bah Blah Blah Blah Bah Blah Blah Blah Bah Blah Blah Blah Bah Blah Blah Blah Bah Blah Blah Blah Bah Blah Blah Blah Bah Blah Blah Blah Bah Blah Blah Blah Bah Blah Blah Blah BahBlah Blah Blah Bah Blah Blah Blah Bah Blah Blah Blah Bah Blah Blah Blah Bah Blah Blah Blah Bah Blah Blah Blah Bah Blah Blah Blah Bah Blah Blah Blah Bah Blah Blah Blah Bah Blah Blah Blah Bah Blah Blah Blah Bah Blah Blah Blah Bah Blah Blah Blah Bah Blah Blah Blah Bah Blah Blah Blah Bah Blah Blah Blah Bah Blah Blah Blah Bah Blah Blah Blah Bah Blah Blah Blah Bah Blah Blah Blah Bah

Link-ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh I cant take it any more

link runs into the forest leaving navi and saria staring after him sceams are heard squishy noises are heard a link emerges holding a very charred and still burning mido then he tosses it at the owl who's feathers ignight and a roast the owl

Owl-ouch

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Link-The damn things annoing even when it dies

Saria-Looks like KFC for dinner tonight it's finger liking good

Link-I can think of something else i'd like to lick

Saria-Blushes

Link-See Goes and licks a nearby rock

Navi- hey link let's go meet the princess

Link-Yay lets go

So they travled for six nights and two days facing many trials such as the flyiey pear things that hurt you and break arms and then there was a skeleton and link had to figt it but it was mean and didn't like link beacuse link was alive and the skeleton got jelous but he mad the mistake of touching link shiney sword so link removed his the skeletons arm and beat the skeleton to life and then to death again then finaly they made it to hyrule then they made it to castle gate

GateGuy1-you can't go past hear bacuse ummmmmmmmm we said so now go away

link walks away out of the corner of his eye he sees an easily scaleable vines behind a girl around links age

Link-hey can you move

Malon-HIi'mmalonILiveatafarmmydaddissapearedlastnighthaveaneggilikeyousoi'mgonafowllowyouaround

Link-ok whatever just don't get me caught

Malon-Yayletsgo!

as link saria and malon climb the vines and heads twords the castle they see Talon sleeping

Link-OMFG! it's Mario!

Talon-Huh what, whos there whats going on

Link-mario will you sign my hat

Saria-will you sign my ocirana

Malon-Mario will you sign my dress

Talon-Malon i'm your dad

Malon-nuhuh my dads a farmer your a plumber, My dad would be home beacuse I made all the chikens get pissed and they killed the farm helpers when I got my breakfeast that I gave to link beacuse his hat is cool

Talon-you pissed off the chikens again damn it

runs of at a extreme pace kicking up dust behind him

LInk-I thought he'd be tougher to wake up what was the point of the egg

Malon-where I come from an egg is a sighn of undying love

Navi-don't you come from lon lon ranch where there eggs are simply a means of profit

Malon-well look at me im a know it all fairy

Link-we have stuff to do

they crawl through that hole thingy and see the guards

Saria-guards they will surely toss us out of the palace if they catch us

Link-come on saria you have green hair they will probably mistake you for a bush watch try it

Saria walks pass the guards as a bush

Guard1-did that bush just move

Guard2-yeah it did that must be one pretty amazing bush

Insert Dirty Joke Here

Link now my turn to get past these guards

link sneaks past the most of the guards

Malon-look there's my boyfriend link

Final Guard- hey Kid get out of the palace

tosses link and malon out

Malon-hey link were all alone and Saria is gone

Link-im only 11 I haven't even started puberty yet i have no clue what your implyng, and now thanks to you i have to sneak passed the guards again do not get me caught again

455 failed atempts later

Link-fine malon if you won't let me sneak passed the guards, i'll out smart them. GUARDS LOOK A DISTRACTION!

Guard1-where

Guard2-there it is right next to the big dipper

Guard1-Oh I thought that was a star

Saria-link you finaly made it i thought you stoped paying atention and left me all alone

Link-the only reason you wanted to see me is so you could get some fairy dust from navi

Sari-not true

starts shaking navi furiosly and forms a line from the falling dust

Malon-Link I Need to tell you something Malon aka me is a scitziod and has 43.2 split pearsonalities

all of witch have fallen in love with you and i the only sane personality needs you to get out of here now if you don't I will end up following you around becoming jelous and cuasing pain and misfourtune for the rest of your days and I can't let that happen I love you too much please link leave me no...SHUT UP YOU LYNG BITCH DON'T YOU EVER EMRGE TO THE EMOTIONAL SURFACE OF THE BOODY AGAIN...linkjustignoreeverythingijustsaidiIdoloveyoubutimnotajelouospersonandiwonthurtyouatall

Link-so zelda your rich right

Zelda-your the boy my dreams...insert dirty joke here...and I need you to get three shiney rocks for a neklace im making...to save the world and possibly even time itself

Link-as you comand so it shall be done but first i must break a window it just insulted me

shoots a deku nut through a window and a bomb is tossed back at link

you droped a shiney ill give it back

tosses the bomb back the ensuing explosion cuatches the palace on fire

Impa-ZELDA THE CASTLES ON FIRE...hey kids get the hell out of the castle or i will cut you with my pointy boobs link,saria and malon are tossed out side the palace

Malon-solinklikesrichgirlshuh...I Have A Plan MWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH

Saria-singing to the tune of sarias songTalk with elves,Talk with elves, You can talk to elves when you play this song

Link-I must retrive the shineys

Navi-I hate my life

---------chapter 2 end

Navi-please kill me

The Fenox-I dicided it would be worse for you if you stayed alive and had to put up with them

Navi-you are an evil bastard

The Fenox- Navi over Evil Very Yes Mohahahahahahahahahaha

Navi-Did you say Mohahahahahahaha

The Fenox-Yes

Navi-Idiot

The Fenox-Yeah i am ain't i oh no my whole life is a lie AHHHHHHH Smite me all mighty smiter Oh wait i'm am the allmighty smiter procedes to smite Navi many thousads of times.

Navi-I hate my life