LOZ: Pyromaniac of time chap 6

Disclaimer- Why does link get a sword and I don't

The Fenox- partially because he is the main character of this story, partially because he needs a sword to kill monsters but mainly I just don't like you

Disclaimer- what do I have to do to get a sword

The Fenox-disclaim this story properly for once

Disclaimer- Damn what about an Axe

The Fenox-pass 12th grade English

Disclaimer- what I pas engrish this unposible

The Fenox- no Axe for you then

Disclaimer-axe nazi

The Fenox-I got a question who names there kid disclaimer if they can't even disclaim a Zelda fanfic

My-my parents now on to the story

The Fenox-you cant do that im the author I say…….

Disclaimer-on with the story

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Link stood there thinking shineys in hand

Link-Emerald from the forest, Ruby from the volcano the Emerald gem obviously symbolizes flora or plant life or perhaps Earth and the life in general and Ruby Gem stands for lava, magma and Fire in general if these Gems continue in the manner than it is only logical then the next Gem should be of an Azure color and symbolize water perhaps a lake or a river maybe even an ocean however since there is no oceans in Hyrule that makes it ether the lake or the river. The forest is near the Elves and the volcano near the settlement of the Gorons perhaps the third Gem is located near another group of odd inhabitants and if my hypothesis is correct the Zoras whom live in the river which would keep with the Gem color to element consistency should live somewhere in the vicinity of the third Gem.

Saria-did link figure all that out by himself

Malon-Ibelievehedidandwhatanoverwhelmingshowofmindpowerwhichweallthoughtphysicallyorin thiscasementallythoughtpossibleespeciallycomingfromlinkjustshowingthat…

Saria-don't you dare go smart on me too

Link-I know where we must go to retrieve the next gem. Every one fallow me.

So they journeyed fallowing Link he led them for two days six nights and ten horrible minutes in a taco bell before they finally they arrived at there destination

Link-here we are

Saria-umm Link I think you went the wrong way or some thing

Malon-yayIhaven'tbeenhomeinalongtimeheyLinkimgoingtogoplayinthefieldwithmyfavoritehorse.

Link-yhea sure Malon go do whatever you want

Malon-whyisitthatyoucanunderstandwhatiamsayingatcertaintimesandatothersyourcluelessdoyouhaveselectiveunderstandingorsomething.

Link-what did you say I cant understand what your saying when you don't put spaces in you words so are you going to go play with your horse or what

Saria-link we are at Lon Lon ranch we are nowhere close to water not even a fountain or a well you took us in the completely wrong direction after talking like you were smart and had actually done something intelligent for once and you just let me down

Link- we are near the river look at this sign it says ummm…. Wrench, and then there's a funny lightning bolt or maybe an E thing followed by another wrench and everyone knows that its elfish for river and since I was raised by elves who better to know how to read a sign in elfish

Saria-I am an elf and I believe that an actual elf would be better than an elf to read elfish and that sign says "RIVER" wait a second I guess you were right the sign does say river should we start looking for the blue gem

Link-Nah I don't think it's here I think it is in a river not just by a sign that says river besides in Hyrulian the sign says your mother is so ugly she looks like a man or maybe that your mother is a man as well as a woman and in common tong it reads Lon Lon ranch but as to what "Lon" means you have to ask Malon

Saria-you know the fact that you can read is amazing but the fact that you can read three languages is astounding

Link-who cares lets just hang here for a minute snort some fairy dust find Malon and figure out how to get to where ever the hell we are going to look for the blue shiny for I truly desire some shines

Saria-you'd thing you would get a map or something

Link- I got a map but Navi says I have to press start to look at it and I can't figure out how to press start

Saria-speaking of navi I haven't heard her in a while is she okay

Link-yhea but she got annoying so I covered her in duck tape

Saria-Link you have to let her go or she won't be able to breath and she will die

Link-and that means what to me

Saria-just unwrap her

Link-Okay
link unwraps the duck tape from Navi making sure to pull hard enough to take off one of Navi's wings

Navi-hey look at my disfigured body hey listen to the brokenness of my body hey look at all the blood flowing out of me hey listen to life slowly slipping away through the many injuries of my body hey look…….

Saria-shut up were gonna snort some lines

Link-I gonna find Malon

on the other side of the ranch Malon sits singing her song to the tune of Epona song

Malon-Come Here Horse Come Here Horse Come Here E P O N A

Link-that's a pretty song but your horse is pretty slow it still not here oh wait there it is im gonna teach it to run fast watch see you take the horse you did its tail in some kerosene ignite it and let the horse run

Epona ran into a field of chickens thrashing and flailing its burning tail around incineration thousands of chickens and making McCnuggets out of others

Link-those chickens are gonna be pissed off

Malon-theymostdefinitelyare.

Link-Should we run

Malon-yes

Link-I told you I just can not understand you when you don't space your words

Malon-justrungoddamnit!

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Navi-so link and malon just abandon me and Saria

The Fenox- yes

Navi-and your not gonna explain how we meet back up are you

The Fenox-nope

Navi-we will just end up being somewhere together

The Fenox-yes

Navi-you know what END OF CHAPTER

The Fenox-You cant do that im the author

Navi- END OF CHAPTER why is it not working

The Fenox-because you are not the author now….

END OF CHAPTER