A Lesson in Friction
Completely random AU-ish 'What-if?' silliness, written for the L/L Picaficathon for Rae; also inspired, in part, by some of the students I teach who are decades older than me. Really the only thing that came to mind for the pictures…
Takes place in mid-December of Season 6, and all is as it was on the show except for the fact that I've conveniently chosen to ignore the existence of all things Nardini.
Sitting just a few miles from the outskirts of Stars Hollow, Lorelai scowled at the construction crew that was currently telling her that, no, she couldn't go yet because they felt the need to restrict traffic to one lane for the full four miles of road ahead of her in order to fix a few measly potholes.
She fumed silently in the Jeep – sure, this was just what she needed, one extra frustration to cap off the day from hell.
Her day had been crappy from the get-go – finding a pull in her brand new blue sweater that matched her eyes so perfectly had just been the beginning. So she'd instead had to paw through the few other clean outfits she had left; her aversion to anything even remotely related to laundry had her wardrobe pretty much down to things far too old and ratty a day at work and the Gilmores' annual Christmas shindig. Of course, the dress she'd eventually chosen was fairly old, and the pink in it practically demanded that she drag out her old pink coat as well. Little did she know… At 8 in the morning, who in their right mind would think that there was even the remotest chance of Emily remembering said outfit right down to the shoes and pantyhose and subsequently launching into a tirade on how badly such an outdated outfit reflected on Lorelai's family and business, and really Lorelai, why can't you just look presentable once in a while?
And that was just one side of it, Lorelai recalled to herself with disdain. Michel had been in a snit all day over the fact that his power had gone out overnight, causing his clock radio to reset its alarm, causing him to sleep in, thereby causing him to miss his oh-so-important 6:30 am pilates class. His whininess had gotten old pretty quickly, which left Lorelai none-too agreeable either since she was already heading full-speed towards full-blown PMS-ville anyway. And as cute and adorable and inspired as Sookie's culinary whims might normally have been, Lorelai did not take well to the notification that today's whim had left a dozen or so fresh, and expensive, lobsters sitting around on the counter to spoil in favor of macaroni and cheese. But it's cold, people want homestyle comfort food when it's cold, had been Sookie's defense. It's fucking Connecticut in December, Sookie, it's always cold. Check the Weather Channel sometime and make the stupid macaroni tomorrow when there's not fifteen costly crustaceans being ignored…
And guests had been particularly annoying, Kirk kept showing up for what seemed to be no reason other than to bug her, Sookie had denied her coffee after the lobster squabble, the stupid oil light in the Jeep decided to start blinking at her on the way to Hartford even though she knew, she knew knew knew, that Luke had just changed the oil or done whatever it is that needs to be done to oil not even two weeks ago.
The party in Hartford wouldn't have even been so bad if she'd been able to avoid her parents, grab a few apple tarts, and see Rory and vent a little. But it was not to be. Lorelai shouldn't have expected any less at that point after the day she'd had. She'd barely pulled up to her parents' house when a glance at her cell phone told her she'd mistakenly had it off for who knows how long. A quick check of the voicemail, and she got to find out that Paris, a la spring break '04, had decided that she and Rory were not getting the full college experience (nevermind that Rory wasn't even in college that semester…), and being that Paris had just finished her last exam of the semester, she was currently dragging Rory along on some Yale-sponsored weekend ski trip to Jiminy Peak.
So with Rory lounging around some big comfy Massachusetts ski lodge downing hot chocolate and Bailey's, Lorelai was left to fend for herself at her parents – the first time she'd even been there since Rory's birthday party. And with the whole wardrobe debacle to start things off, suffice it to say the rest of the evening hadn't exactly gone swimmingly. The only good thing about the night was that Richard and Emily ended up being just as eager get rid of her as she was to leave, so she was able to escape over an hour earlier than normal. How Rory had managed to rope her into putting in an appearance there in the first place, Lorelai would never figure out, but she sure as hell was glad to finally be out.
And now, there she sat, a measly five minutes the Hollow, stuck in construction traffic with the goddamned oil light still blinking. Probably blinking just to mock her, she glowered. Why now? Why only five minutes from home, the diner, Luke's coffee, and hopefully, a healthy dose of Luke himself, because really, the only thing that could salvage the day would be to just curl up with Luke in bed – dirty things not even necessary.
Just when she was reaching the point where she was mere seconds from climbing out of the Jeep and getting physically violent with the evil little prick in the orange vest and hardhat because her normally astounding powers of telekinesis were failing to make him turn around the stop sign he was holding, said prick finally flipped the sign to 'slow' and let her through. Success!
Once she was past the construction zone, Lorelai made it to the diner in record time. Flying into the diner, she gave Cesar a half wave as she called over her shoulder, "Hey Cesar, it's just me, I'm heading up!"
But she didn't stick around long enough to hear his reply. If she'd been a little less hasty in her dash up the stairs to Luke's apartment, she would have heard Cesar inform her, with a touch of confusion in his voice, that Luke wasn't up there.
He was just heading to the stairs to go after her when she reappeared from behind the curtain, her facial expression less than amused. "Cesar, he's not up there."
"I tried to tell you," Cesar shrugged, "But you…"
"Fine," Lorelai cut him off hastily, the initial lack of Luke doing nothing to help her day. But, she begrudgingly reminded herself, that wasn't really Cesar's fault. Lightening her tone a tad, she clarified with a point towards the kitchen, "In there then?"
"Uh, no…" Cesar replied.
"Storeroom?"
"No…"
"What then? Doose's?" Lorelai demanded, growing more and more agitated.
"No…"
"I'm really not a fan of guessing games right now, Cesar…" Lorelai forced out through clenched teeth. "Is he here or not?"
"No, he's been gone since after lunch," was Cesar's explanation, now that he was finally able to get more than a few words out. "I figured you knew. Said he'd be back later tonight."
Lorelai's brow furrowed in confusion. Gone where? Where the hell did Luke go on a Friday night when he knew she'd be at her parents? "Back when Cesar? Like really late? What'd he say?"
"Look, I dunno," Cesar offered noncommittally, now getting slightly agitated himself at the snippy way Lorelai was addressing him. "He said 'later.' You want coffee or not?"
Somewhat perplexed, and concerned, by Luke's absence, Lorelai dropped her attitude as she slid onto a stool at the end of the counter. "Sure," she replied weakly, shrugging apologetically in Cesar's direction.
So Cesar grabbed a mug for her, poured her the coffee and went back to the kitchen.
Lorelai just sat there toying with the cup as she waited anxiously for Luke. It wasn't that she thought he was out there livin' it up and chasing random women just because he knew she was out of commission that night for her parents' party. It wasn't like that – she trusted him. And that wasn't Luke anyway. She just couldn't get past the fact that it was a little out of the ordinary for Luke to be out on a Friday, without telling her, especially when he knew that she wasn't supposed to be back for another hour.
Not that that mattered however, since an hour and a half later, there she sat, still waiting for Luke. By the time ten-thirty neared, she didn't know what to think. Was he hurt? Liz and TJ, were they hurt again? Planning an elaborate Christmas present for her behind her back? Ch… cheating on her? It didn't add up, but she knew she was just going to drive herself crazy sitting around drinking gallon after gallon of coffee in the diner. Hell, for all she knew, he'd gone to meet her at home and had zonked out on the couch before even calling her cell looking for her. Of course, that must be it, she tried to reassure herself.
But no sooner did she was make her way across the street to the Jeep did the big old clunky green truck pull up, and not from in the direction of her house.
At first Lorelai was just anxious to see Luke, make sure everything was ok. Then she caught a glimpse of him climbing out of the truck, sans backwards hat and fully decked out in khakis and a his spiffy leather jacket.
Well he wasn't hurt, he didn't come from her place, and Luke Danes certainly never dressed up to go shopping for presents, if he could ever even be forced to go shopping at all.
So he'd been up to something and hadn't told her. Which, given the worrying she'd done over the possibility of something being seriously wrong and the mess that the rest of the day had been, did not make for a happy Lorelai.
"Luke," she barked tersely across the street, her hand stuffed forcefully in her pockets.
Hearing her voice, Luke froze momentarily, certainly not having been expecting her to be waiting for him in the square. He hesitated a moment, dragging out the act of locking up the truck before finally making his way sheepishly over to her. "Hey."
"So?" Lorelai demanded indignantly.
"So… Hey…" Luke evaded awkwardly, "You look nice. I like the pink coat."
Lorelai snorted in disbelief, "Oh cut the crap Luke. This thing is old and a piece of junk. I know it, my mother knows it, and you know it. So what gives. Where the hell were you?"
Knowing he'd been caught, Luke's eyes darted nervously, his gaze landing on anything but Lorelai's eyes, "Out."
"Yeah, super," Lorelai snapped, knowing that she need to calm down, knowing there was a logical explanation for Luke's absence, but also unable to stop her temper now that it had the best of her. "Good to know," she continued wryly, "Out where?"
"Out…side…" Luke dodged weakly.
Lorelai rolled her eyes in exasperation, Luke's verbal evasion techniques doing little to put him back in her good graces. "Don't get cute Luke. I have one of the shittiest days in recent memory, and all I want to do is come home and see you. But no, I get Cesar telling me you're out somewhere. First I don't know what to think. Then, I panic and think you're hurt. Now, I just think you're sneaking off doing God knows what behind my back on nights when you know I won't be around. What gives?"
Luke's eyes went wide at the insinuations of Lorelai's words, and he knew he had to put a stop to that line of thinking. It was the truth or nothing. "I had a final," he eventually admitted in a barely audible mumble.
"A final what?" Lorelai scoffed, still more than annoyed over obviously being left out of the loop, but her face now twisted in confusion as well.
"Exam," was Luke's soft, uncomfortable reply.
Not that it cleared anything up for Lorelai. The word she'd just heard uttered meant nothing to her in the context of the person uttering it, so she could manage nothing more than a spluttered, "What?" in return.
"A final exam," Luke muttered quickly, apparently hoping if he said it fast enough it would be less of an issue.
The second time was enough to get through Lorelai's anger. However, she still didn't believe it. "You're joking," she declared flatly, her emotions walking the fine line between a 'Holy crap, he couldn't think of a better excuse that that to cover up whatever he was sneaking around doing? What the fuck was he doing anyway?'-type mixture of disbelief and confusion, and a 'School? Luke? Why the hell would he not say something about this to me? Nothing, for months? Asshole…'-variety combination of rage and more disbelief.
Luke hung his head guiltily, "No…"
"What, you teach diner man classes now?" Lorelai jeered sarcastically. "Had to make sure your students know the right plaid to match their décor?" Yeah right, she glowered inwardly. Bastard's hiding something and doesn't even have the guts to come clean when he gets called on it…
"I was taking the test," Luke clarified halfheartedly, likely realizing that Lorelai had already made up her mind about what she wanted to believe, and that he was just going to have to let the bitchiness run its course before getting a word in to explain his side.
Confusion crept back in for Lorelai, starting to see that Luke wasn't letting his story die, and completely unsure as to what that meant in terms of what was actually going on. "Luke, what the hell are you talking about?" she demanded.
"I've been taking classes this semester," he insisted, a last-ditch effort to get her to believe him, "At college."
And something in Luke's words, something in his desperation to penetrate Lorelai's refusal to hear him, finally did hit home. He was telling the truth. But, to be fair, that didn't mean she had to like it. "Classes?" she cried, "And you didn't tell me?"
Luke just shrugged. He knew he had some explaining to do in that area, but he also knew that her pissy mood would allow for no such explaining at the moment.
"What the hell, Luke?" she spat with a withering glare. What the hell? And why right now, today?
Fed up with Luke, fed up with her day, fed up with life, Lorelai clenched her fists, took a deep breath, and stomped over to the Jeep, as Luke remained frozen in defeat.
Only as she was already climbing into the car did she offer any parting words to Luke, "And don't even think about following me home. Lizzie Borden's got nothing on me right now."
And she drove off, leaving Luke just standing there on the sidewalk, knowing he'd certainly have his work cut out for him tomorrow, when he finally did go talk to her.
Which he did, the next morning. After a miserable night, tossing and turning from the guilt, alone above the diner, Luke knew he had to clear the air. Lorelai had come off a little strong sure, but he really did have no excuse for hiding things from her, not after all that 'no secrets' crap that he himself had stipulated just last month.
So once it hit around ten-thirty, time enough, he figured, for Lorelai to be awake and functioning, because after last night's icy reception, the last thing he needed to have held against him was waking her up too early.
At least his timing ended up being correct, for as soon as he rang the doorbell at Lorelai's, her blurred outline appeared behind the frosted glass, and the door flew open.
Lorelai eyed him suspiciously. "Aren't you supposed to be studying?" she sneered accusingly, though with considerably less venom in her words than the night before.
With a deep sigh, Luke tried to get the conversation off on better footing. "Look, I'm sorry," he began defensively, "I came to talk, but if you're gonna…"
He trailed off when Lorelai, eyebrows raised and lips pursed pointedly, folded her arms across her chest and leaned against the doorframe in a less than forgiving posture.
So he'd been a little too optimistic when he'd thought she might be ready to talk civilly. Defeated, Luke waved his arm weakly at her, "Forget it." And in no time at all, he'd whirled around and taken off, storming down her front steps into the unseasonably warm December morning.
He was barely off the porch and onto the lawn when Lorelai sprang into action, mentally chastising herself for slipping back into yesterday's nasty mood. "Luke, wait," she called haltingly, as she moved out onto the porch after him. "I… I'm sorry…" she began, "Yesterday was just a crappy day, and you didn't deserve that." Her head hung in reticence before she added, "Not all of it anyway."
The slight smirk marking her last words, told Luke it was a peace offering; he headed back over to her, lowering himself to sit on the steps as he let out his own apology of sorts, "I know. And I should have told you earlier."
"I'm listening," Lorelai stated as she sank down next to him.
Fiddling with one of the dry, crackly leaves that still littered the yard, Luke took a deep breath to gather himself. "I took a couple classes this semester," he finally stated, the words already giving him the feeling that a significant weight had been lifted from his shoulders.
Pulling the sleeves of her blue sweatshirt down over her fists and hugging her knees to her chest to ward off the slight chill in the air, Lorelai remained silent, giving Luke a chance to say what he needed to say.
Which he did. After a glance over at her told him that she wasn't going to interrupt today, Luke continued, "At Southern Connecticut State. One of my finals was yesterday. That's where I was."
Lorelai bit her lip for a moment, waiting to see if Luke would elaborate any further on his own. When he didn't, she spoke up softly, "I get that Luke, we've gone over that part already. But how? And why? Why?" Her questioning escalated, the same hints of accusation from the night before creeping back into her tone, "And not saying anything? And what's with the leather?"
Luke shrugged, "It's not a full schedule, and my classes are during the day. You're at the Inn." You never had to know, he added in his mind.
"So we've got who, how, where, and when…" Lorelai coaxed gently.
"Last summer, with the whole Rory/Yale thing," Luke sighed, turning to look Lorelai in the eyes. "I saw how upset you were over her not getting her education, not building a future and having all these opportunities." Met with a relatively blank stare from Lorelai, he elaborated awkwardly, "And I don't… I never…"
Realization finally dawned on Lorelai's face, and she wasted no time jumping in, "Luke, that was Rory, not you. I don't care that you never went to school," she insisted, placing a hand on his arm, "I barely went to school. I don't care if you did or didn't."
"I care," Luke informed her, sounding slightly harsher than he may have intended.
Lorelai jerked back her hand at his tone. "Since when?" She wondered aloud, trailing off timidly, "You never said anything…"
"Just…" Luke's voice faded as he sought out answers that could help Lorelai understand. The last thing he wanted was for her to somehow get the impression that he was anything less than perfectly happy with his life, or their life together, as it were. But to that end, there was still something missing. "It's a lot of things," he eventually explained, "Jess? Who the hell was I to tell him he's gotta stick out high school and go to college? And with Rory, I know she's your thing, and she's fine now, but technically, I'm gonna be her step-father. How the hell was I supposed to be able to say anything when I've been sitting on my ass being a glorified McDonald's fry cook for twenty years?"
Taken aback at Luke apparently having such a negative view of himself, Lorelai protested immediately, "Luke…"
But Luke wasn't done. If he was coming clean about the school thing, he knew he had to get one more thing out in the open. "And if we ever…" he began, giving a vague wave towards Lorelai's midsection before his voice failed him momentarily. With a little cough to clear his throat and re-focus himself, he started again, "I don't want to be the big, dumb, stupid father who can't help with homework past second grade." Never the big talker, and never comfortable voicing his fears, Luke kept his eyes downcast as he toyed with another leaf and continued, "You, look at you, you have genius kids. I gotta be able to keep up. I mean, I know I'm not like Rory, or even Jess – I was just a dumb jock in high school - but…" He trailed off with a sheepish shrug, still avoiding Lorelai's gaze.
Had he looked up during his confession, he would have seen Lorelai's expression, so indignantly defensive when he'd berated himself as a fry cook, soften instantaneously at the idea that he was doing this for their kids. The first reference to children since the brief mention upon their engagement had brought a wistful smile to her face, visions of Luke and a little blue-eyed girl going over fractions using measuring cups dancing around in her head as she gazed off into space.
Her silence hung in the air over Luke; he was positive that she was just biding her time, conjuring up the best possible way to mock him for this, for everything…
Which was largely the reason for his stunned expression when Lorelai lifted a hand to his cheek and turned his head to face her, her big blue shiny eyes boring insistently into his. "Luke, our kids will adore you no matter what. They're not gonna need some fancy diploma on the wall with your name on it to love you. I don't, and neither does Rory." Running her thumb over the stubble of his cheek, she leaned in to lay a soft kiss on his lips.
Luke, comforted by her words, smiled weakly into the kiss, and shrugged bashfully when Lorelai finally leaned back from him. "I know," he admitted, "It's just something I have to do, you know?"
"Yeah, sure," Lorelai nodded in partial understanding, "But… Why couldn't you tell me all of this?"
"I dunno…" Luke shrugged yet again, having no concrete reason for not telling her. "It just sounds like a stupid idea when you hear it out loud. And I didn't know if I even could. If I'd told you and ended up failing or something, then I would have had to deal with…" Telling you, Luke finished silently. Even as a hypothetical, it was too difficult to get the words out. "I didn't want to build it up and then disappoint you," he rephrased, spitting the words out hurriedly.
Lorelai smiled sympathetically, snuggling up to him, tucking her arm beneath his, and hugging his arm to her chest. "You wouldn't," she reassured him gently.
"I know," Luke nodded in acquiescence, rubbing her chilly hands with his free one, "I know."
They sat there silently for a bit longer, intertwined in the cool morning air as they both worked on processing what had surpassed between them in the past twelve hours.
It was Lorelai who eventually spoke up, playfully jabbing Luke in the side, "You know, I'm actually most mad that you're learning all this new stuff and you haven't tried any fancy new recipes on me!"
Those words were all Luke needed to be shaken from his pensive stupor, "Wha…" he stammered, "It's not… It's not culinary school."
Those words just ended up putting Lorelai into a dumbfounded stupor, "But…" she trailed off, utterly perplexed. "You're… you," was all she could manage in response.
"I said I wanted to help with school…" Luke reminded her, taking the opportunity to get his own smart-alecky jab in, "What, you think kids take nothing but home ec after second grade now?"
"Right…" Lorelai agreed stiltedly, still confused. "Well, I don't know… That is going to be your department anyway, you know," she pointed out, regardless of her confusion, "I'm useless there, look at Rory's kitchen skills. I think home ec was probably her lowest grade ever in middle school. Or ever ever, to tell you the truth."
Luke smirked, recalling the numerous times he'd been summoned to a smoky Gilmore kitchen following the girls' ill-fated attempts at raising Rory's eighth-grade home-ec mark, "Don't I know it."
Lorelai grinned momentarily at the same memories, though her expression grew befuddled once again as she got back around to thinking of how culinary issues made their way in to the conversation in the first place. "But why not the cooking?" she prodded, unsure of what he'd be doing if not cooking.
"I can do that already," Luke scoffed, deciding it'd be fun to string her along a little longer, "What'd be the point of that?"
Lorelai was really at a loss, "Fancy initials after your name on the menu? I don't know," she admitted. "What the hell are you doing then?" she quizzed impatiently.
"It's just intro classes now, but I'm thinking…" Luke hesitated momentarily, knowing for sure that mocking would ensue. "Mechanical engineering," he finally spit out.
Lorelai's eyes went wide and she loosened her grasp on Luke's arm, her hands falling to rest limply on his thigh, "Engin…" There was then a split second of silence, but Luke hadn't been wrong… Lorelai let out a giggle, "Oh my God, I'm sleeping with a closet nerd! The Trekkie thing," she smacked her forehead goofily, "I should have known…" Still laughing, she made a big show of pretending to yank off her engagement ring, "I'm so calling off this engagement now. If the cool kids find out I'm with you, I won't be able to sit at their lunch table anymo…"
She fell silent and folded her hands contritely in her lap as she fought to stifle further giggles when Luke glared ominously at her. He was fine with a little poking fun, but he really didn't appreciate the joking about not getting married…
Reaching for her left hand, he slid her ring firmly back into position and gave her a firm look of mock warning.
"I'm sorry, I'm done," Lorelai apologize less than believably, her eyes still glimmering with unspoken teasing. But she actually surprised Luke, reverting to a much more serious tone when she spoke next. "But Luke, why engineering? Math and stuff?" she questioned soberly.
"Well," Luke clarified, practically seeing question marks floating around Lorelai's head, "I'm sure as hell not doing computers or electronics or crazy chemicals, but I mean, I build stuff." He paused; that had been the only reasoning that had gone into his decision when he'd registered for classes… "It's not that far of a stretch," he rationalized.
"I guess…" Lorelai's brow furrowed as she struggled to picture Luke as anything but the diner owner.
But she didn't even have time to process the mental picture of Luke as an engineer when he dropped another bomb on her. "And it's, you know, marketable," Luke pointed out cautiously.
Lorelai sat up straight, leaning away from him and shivering at the cold air that moved into the space between them. "Why the hell does that matter?"
Luke's shoulders slumped in response. This would be another thing she probably wouldn't take well to… "Well, you, and Rory," he said. "And if we do try the kid thing…" He inadvertently gestured to her stomach again, "It's a lot different than just me getting by on diner income."
His statement appeared to physically overtake Lorelai, as her eyes widened and her head shook in disbelief as if she couldn't believe the words that had just come from Luke's mouth. Her hands flew up in surrender, "And whoa, chivalry is not dead my friends, it's back with a vengeance. A big crazy, overgrown, insane, caveman, me-Tarzan-you-Jane vengeance." With a pointed stare a Luke, she continued her chastising tirade, "The Inn is fine Luke. The diner is fine. Finer even, that's how you gave me all the cash to make the Dragonfly fine in the first place." Her voice softened, perhaps touched by the chivalry she'd just been ranting about, touched that Luke would begin a whole new career for her and Rory, and any other kids that might come along. "Luke," she said appreciatively, "You don't have to go all pocket protector on me just because we're getting married. It's already well-established that I'm not genetically inclined to do the whole barefoot, pregnant, in the kitchen thing. You're not the 'breadwinner.' It's not 1950," she reminded him with a teasing grin.
"I know, I know," Luke brushed her off – she'd gone exactly where he thought she would with that comment. But she had to know it was more than his y-chromosome just taking over… "It's just part of…" he began, "It was just one other thing that crossed my mind at some point. It's a little extra security. I know we don't need it need it, but… It's just different from what I've done before. Regardless of being marketable and making money and whatever, I never went to school, with my Dad and Liz and everything. I just need to do it for me, ok?" He looked at her with pleading eyes, willing her to see where he was coming from.
Luckily for him, Lorelai was practically beaming with pride and respect for the man sitting next to her, "Yes, I think it's great you're doing it for you, Luke. And I'm glad I at least know now." She punched him amiably in the arm, giving him a light reprimand, "Don't keep stuff from me mister."
"You got it," Luke vowed, sealing the promise with a kiss pressed to Lorelai's temple. "I would have told you eventually…"
Still clutching his arm, she leaned away from him with a smirk that said little more than 'Yeah right,' "In your cap and gown?"
"Maybe," Luke taunted in return, bringing up a fair point, "You're the one who likes surprises, right?"
"Not on your life, buddy," Lorelai shook her head gravely, "Not if all this is happening part time. Then you wouldn't be graduating for like ten years, and I would have had to kill you at that point. You did see me last night, right?" she laughed, "Multiply that by like a bazillion."
"Right," Luke stated. He didn't even want to think about how badly things could have turned out given her mood last night.
But fortunately, most of the issue seemed to be behind them, and Lorelai was back to full-blown mocking, happy-go-lucky, flirty Lorelai-mode. Which she demonstrated when she poked him in the side, asking teasingly, "So what classes are you taking, smarty pants?"
Luke rolled his eyes. He might as well just let her run with it, "Calculus and Physics."
"Oh my God, such a science dork…" Lorelai buried her face in her hands, feigning absolute horror. "Who knew…"
Despite knowing it was futile to even try, Luke felt the need to defend himself at least a little. "It's not that bad," he protested weakly.
"Oh yeah, Einstein?" Lorelai smirked, "Quarks and quantums and… Whatever the hell else there is in physics?
"It's just basic mechanics," Luke corrected, "No quarks. Velocity. Acceleration. Gravity. Friction…"
Lorelai interjected, elbowing Luke in the side, "Ah, friction. I guess we both need to learn a little more about that, huh?"
"'Cause we have issues there every once in a while?" Luke replied knowingly, appreciative of the word's applicability to their relationship from time to time.
"As in last night?" Lorelai confirmed with a nod, "Bingo, Ken Jennings, you've got it."
"Yeah," Luke sighed, wishing his classes really did have the answers to the misunderstanding and overreactions that seemed to pop up every once in a while. "Wrong friction though."
Lorelai snorted softly, "I figured. We'll just have to figure that one out together I suppose…"
"Yeah," Luke agreed in resignation. There was some work that could be done in that area… Rubbing her thigh, he pulled her closer to him, "But we're ok?"
Lorelai smacked him playfully on the leg, "We're fine, Mr. Wizard." She paused a moment, a wicked grin spreading across her face. She turned to Luke, forcing as angelic a look as she could muster, and batted her eyed, "So no biology?"
"I do have to take one biology class, but not now…" Luke dragged out his response suspiciously, unsure of what sort of humiliating path her questioning would lead him down this time.
"Sad," Lorelai pouted melodramatically.
Luke eyed her warily, "Why?"
"Because I'll have you know," Lorelai declared proudly in a sing-song voice, as she clasped her hands gleefully in front of her, "I happen to be one of the best biology tutors around."
"Oh yeah?" Luke raised an eyebrow slyly in her direction. He was starting to get an inkling where she'd take this, but wanted to see how she'd have it play out.
"Uh huh," she nodded with an evil glint in her eye, "Especially the anatomy stuff."
"Of course," Luke played along. Yep, she was going exactly where he thought she was going.
Lorelai gave and offended gasp in jest, "Do I hear a hint of mocking in there? A little skepticism maybe?" She leaned towards Luke, stroking his arm seductively, and lowering her voice to a throaty whisper, "Luke, Luke, Luke, do you not remember all the very thorough anatomy checks I've performed here? See?" she asked slyly, reaching a hand around to Luke's rear end, giving it a little squeeze. "Gluteus maximus, very nice specimen right there." Her other hand, still on his arm, mimicked the squeezing action, "Biceps, nice and hard." Moving to stand up, she hovered in front of him, placing her hands on Luke's chest and leaning her full weight onto him, "Pecs, very nice again." Shimmying forward, she straddled his lap, clenching her legs around his, "Thighs, again, nice and hard."
She grinned triumphantly as Luke's initial front of resistance buckled and his hands flew to her waist, sliding up beneath her shirts to stroke the smooth skin of her back. And when his lips found their way to her bare collarbone, she took the opportunity to move in for the kill. Slipping and hand between them, she dragged her nails lightly along the inseam of his jeans, up farther, farther, her fingers dancing teasingly over the rough denim to his zipper and back down. "And oh, oh, what do we have here?" she murmured mischievously, leaning towards his ear, "A little lacking in the hardness at the moment? Don't worry Luke," she reassured him, running her tongue along his jaw for good measure, "You're lucky I'm such an anatomy expert because I know exactly how to make certain things harder pretty quickly…"
Her babbling was brought to a screeching halt as Luke's mouth sought out hers in a fiery apology for everything that had transpired as a result of him keeping his classes from her.
Though even has his tongue tangled with hers and he wove his hands through her hair, he knew, within another minute or two, he'd be owing her even more apologies.
Reluctantly, he pulled back from her, "Lorelai…"
Lost in a haze of anatomical terms and arousal, Lorelai barely blinked as his voice, focusing rather on nipping and sucking at the soft skin of his neck, "Hmm?"
Luke grasped her shoulders, pulling her a decent distance away from him. "You have to stop," he panted, none-too-convincingly.
"Nope," Lorelai replied nonchalantly, completely ignoring Luke's request and launching herself back at his neck.
Through clenched teeth, and with resolve he wasn't sure he really had, Luke pushed her away again, "Yes."
Luke's hands still gripping her shoulders, Lorelai couldn't quite close the distance between them as she wanted to. But she didn't let that stop her… With another simple "Nope," she brought her fingers back down to the zipper of his jeans, busying herself with the task of snaking her hands inside.
Luke's eyes fluttered shut when she reached her goal. He allowed himself a few seconds of reveling in the feeling before shoving her away, "I have to go study," he spoke sternly, struggling to zip himself back up despite Lorelai's persistent attempt at a counterattack. "Lorelai," he hissed, "My other test is this afternoon."
"Yeah, I know," Lorelai smiled, taking the opportunity to lean back towards Luke's neck while his hands were busy with his zipper. "Anatomy, right?" she murmured into his jaw.
"I'm serious," Luke groaned, finally taking initiative and standing them both up in front of the porch. His chest heaving slightly as he fought for full breaths, he ran a nervous hand over his face and glared at Lorelai.
Lorelai quickly closed the distance between them, wrapping her arms around his neck and pressing her body against Luke's, "I could have sworn you said anatomy," she purred impishly. "Or the reproduction section of biology. Now that, I think we should practice…"
Luke had to stop himself from mentally calculating how low a grade he could get on his final and still pass the class and subsequently translating that into how much extra time he could spend with Lorelai instead of studying. Not that the thought wasn't tempting… But he couldn't let himself do that… Resolving to get back to studying, he pushed her away yet again. "God, stop before I do this and end up failing my test," he exclaimed in exasperation.
Lorelai, finally seeing that this was one battle she wasn't going to win, hung back from Luke. With her arms crossed defiantly in front of her chest, she pouted in Luke's direction, declaring to him, "You so owe me tonight."
Luke had to smile at her frustration; at least it told him all was forgiven. "Look," began diplomatically, "If I get to go study, then I will hopefully pass the class. Then," he added patronizingly, "Tonight we can celebrate the passing of the classes."
That Lorelai dropped her pout for. Gone was the scowl as she jumped up and down a few times, clapping her hands together and squealing, "Fun!"
"It's from 2 to 5," Luke informed her, ignoring her antics and going rather for the practical, "You'll be here later tonight?"
Lorelai nodded emphatically, "You betcha." After leaning in for a kiss more chaste than either involved party really would have like, she tilted her head pensively, piping up with an offer of "You need help studying or anything?"
"We've been over this…" Luke warned, backing away from her.
"No, seriously," Lorelai clarified innocently, "You've met Rory, right? I am the master of coaching people to A's," she clarified. "I can quiz, I can question, I can flash card. And hell, for you," she paused cheekily, giggling before whipping the bottom hem of her shirt up to her neck, "I can even just flash ya once in a while so you don't get too bored."
"Jeez, put your shirt on," Luke spluttered, flustered and re-faced, as always, by Lorelai's forward antics. "Babette's probably got binoculars in the window or something. And no," he reprimanded, shaking a finger in the direction of her chest, "That's why I can't have you around to study. You'll do that, and then I won't study, and we're back to the failing thing."
Lorelai pulled her shirt down in a huff, "Fine," she sighed dramatically. "Make me do my own boring Inn crap all day without you… Ooh, unless that Canadian couple from last year got in early." Her eyes widened gleefully at the prospect of what might play out at the Inn, "God, it's so funny when they try and speak to Michel in French, and he just whines about their accent, and they complain about his, and it just ends up a big old mess with French obscenities all over the place."
Not quite as amused by feuding Francophones as Lorelai, Luke just rolled his eyes in her direction, "Well there you go, you won't even miss me."
"Well no," Lorelai admitted, smirking, "Not like you'll be pining for me all day. Just remember, if you pass," she paused dramatically before launching into the chorus of 'Celebration,' making sure to flash him once again on the 'whoo-hoo.'
"Ah jeez," Luke stammered, taking the opportunity to start heading away from her across the lawn, "I gotta go. I'll see you around 7?" he called.
Lorelai nodded in the affirmative, "Definitely. And good luck. Or break a leg. Or whatever."
Luke smile, "Thanks." And he headed off. He'd just made it to the end of the driveway when one other issue crossed his mind. He whirled around, yelling back to Lorelai just as she was climbing the porch steps to go inside, "Ah… Maybe a little after 7 actually. Some people in the class mentioned maybe getting a beer or two after the test."
Caught off guard, Lorelai could do nothing but agree to the new terms of the day's plan, "Ok…"
Luke waved, turning back towards the diner, "Later…"
"Bye…" Lorelai muttered softly as Luke disappeared around the corner. Beers? In college? Didn't that mean kegs and togas and sleazy bars and half naked freshman girls throwing themselves at him? That thought alone made her sick to her stomach. But she was probably overreacting, over exaggerating, right? She managed to calm herself down in the immediate sense, moving on through her day at the Inn, Canadians included. But at some point in those French squabbles that she was forced to endure overhearing, she caught wind of a reference to the French capital – Paris. Paris. Paris dated her sixty-something year old professor. She wasn't exaggerating – college girls did throw themselves at older men…
Lorelai's heart raced as she panicked, feeling horrible for not being as ok with Luke being in school as she might have thought… But for the rest of the day, she couldn't let go of that uneasiness.
When Luke trudged wearily across Lorelai's lawn later that night, relieved to have made it through his first semester in its entirety, he was more than surprised to find Lorelai out on the porch waiting for him.
She just sat there, still as a statue in the cold December night, not even noticing Luke's approach.
"What the hell are you…" Luke trailed off, dumbfounded as he rushed towards the porch, "Lorelai, it's freezing out here…"
His words shook Lorelai out of her stupor, and seeing him, she leapt up from the couch on the porch and raced down the stairs to him. Without hesitation, she threw herself at him, pulling him into a deep kiss.
Luke certainly didn't put up a fight, but when they finally pulled away from each other breathlessly, he eyed her curiously, "How long have you been waiting out here? And why?"
"Uh, not long," Lorelai brushed his concern off nervously. To be honest, she wasn't sure how long she'd been out there, and she wasn't completely sure why she'd felt the need to wait outside either. She just knew she needed to see him as soon as she possibly could, "I…" she began awkwardly, "I, uh, just um…" She winced bashfully at her lack of eloquence, "I just needed to make sure you got a little refresher of what you've got here."
"What?" Luke squinted at her in confusion.
"Paris dated a 60-year old professor!" Lorelai wailed.
Still not quite getting the point of her outburst, Luke tried to draw more out of her, "And…"
Lorelai put it bluntly, "You're old."
"Gee, thanks," Luke chuckled dryly.
"Compared to 18, you're ancient," Lorelai rephrased, "But not as ancient at the 60 year old dude," she added quickly to pacify him, "And soooo pretty…" she grinned. "But no ring," she pointed out regretfully, grabbing his left hand and running her thumb over his bare ring finger.
"Yet," Luke reminded her pointedly, copying her action and running his own fingers over her engagement ring.
Lorelai scoffed, "I know not yet. But," she added indignantly, "Random college gold-digging slutty girls don't know that!"
"What?" Luke obviously was still not getting Lorelai's point.
Setting her jaw, Lorelai crossed her arms in front of her and gave Luke a suspicious once-over. "You can't tell me you haven't been hit on even once by all those little brats that would love to score the hot 40-year old," she declared resolutely.
Unfortunately, Luke's telling silence did nothing to assuage her presumption. "You were. They did. Oh my God," she moaned. "That's the leather. That's why you wore the leather," she wailed theatrically, "Ugh, I didn't even get a chance to be the first wife, left in the dust when cute, young wife number two comes along."
Luke just shook his head, understanding finally what the hell all the dramatics had been for, "Would you stop?" he shushed her, "They're… they're Rory's age for God's sake. That's just wrong. And the leather jacket?" He shrugged, "I knew I was gonna be the old guy anyway. And the hat, the flannel, the jeans? It was either going to look like I was trying way too hard to look just like the 20 year old slackers, or that I was just some scruffy old homeless guy."
Lorelai's jaw dropped as she jumped to his defense, "You don't look homeless!"
Her innate ability to avoid the issue at hand earned her a stern glare from Luke.
She wilted under his stare, "I know, I know… Just…. Guh," she moaned, disgusted by her insecurities and the images in her mind, "The thought of little teenage hussies throwing themselves at you makes me want to hurl," she admitted, shivering at the mental picture, "Blech."
"Jealous are we?" Luke taunted, amused, linking his arms around her waist and pulling her towards him.
"No, no it's not that…" Lorelai stuttered shyly, toying with the zipper of Luke's jacket. "Just makes me feel old you know? I mean, jeez, I've been buying alcohol legally for sixteen years now. I'm ancient. But you…" She poked him in the chest, drawing her gaze slowly up to meet his eyes, "It's different for guys. A guy like you could have any of those little brats," she added woefully.
Luke's face fell as Lorelai's insecurities began to come to the surface. "Lorelai…"
"I know, I know," Lorelai confessed, "I'm being stupid. But I also know they're all pretty with the fake tans, and the dyed highlights, and it's so adorable when they tell you that you have to buy them their liquor. And they're probably all easy," she lamented, mostly joking, but unable to hide fully the underlying self-doubt and vulnerability that she usually kept tightly guarded. "Just remember," she spoke in earnest, gazing up at Luke with bright, sincere eyes, "Even when I go all spazzy-anal-crazy-bitch like last night, you've got the easiest lay of your life right here buddy."
Tightening his grip on her, Luke pulled her even closer. An appreciative smile broke out on his face as he tilted his head towards her, "Promise?"
He was met with a wan smile of relief on Lorelai's face as she melted into his kiss. Insecurities faded, worries over exam grades flew out the window, and the pair was finally able to concentrate only on each other. Given the emotional and mental drains on both of them over the last two days, not to mention a little unresolved sexual tension from that morning's impromptu anatomy lesson on the porch, desires, needs, arousal, and heat took over, the languid sensuality of their kisses and caresses keeping them warm in the cold night air.
Which was why Lorelai was somewhat perplexed by Luke's question, murmured in her ear when they finally came up for air, "So you wanna hear what a lot of the questions were about?"
"Ok…" she breathed heavily, unsure of what to expect as a response.
What she got was an utterly primal growl of "Friction," as Luke pressed his hand roughly between her legs, rubbing the seam of her pants over her most sensitive areas.
Knees buckling at the sensation, Lorelai sucked in a sharp breath. Clinging to Luke, she buried her face in his neck as his ministrations intensified. "Mmmm," she practically hummed with pleasure, "Me thinks me likes that subject. In this sense anyway."
"Good," Luke smiled into Lorelai's hair.
Luke?
"Hm?" Luke barely responded, his focus now on sliding his hands beneath Lorelai's shirt and raking his nails over the lace of her bra.
Lorelai resisted the urge to just shut up and let Luke's hands continue whatever it was they were doing under there; she had to get one more thing out, "Wanna teach me more about friction upstairs? We can get physic-al," she snorted. "Haha, get it? Physics!" she pronounced excitedly, obviously quite proud of her pun.
"You're never gonna let this stuff go are you?" Luke sighed dejectedly, his hands falling from their previous resting place.
"I will if you give me something better to do," Lorelai grinned mischievously, gesturing upstairs.
Needless to say, Luke complied with her request; after all, now that he knew about friction, who was he to keep it to himself?
End