Session Two : Isolated Memories

Spike shuffled the deck of cards over and over. Finally placing them on the table in front of him, he picked up the first card on top of the deck. Before he looked at what it was, Spike studied the elaborate design on the back of the card. The rest of the cards that made up the deck in front of him shared the same design. They are all the same on one side, fooling people into thinking they are alike.

Undistinguishable.

But they're all actually different. Not a single one is the same...on the other side. Only by getting through their defenses, by flipping them over, will one see the card's true form.

Just like a person.

They all seem the same on one side, smiling, nodding, laughing...just to obtain what they desire. But once you break down their defenses, it is shown. Just like the flip of a card.

Now to see your secret.

Spike flipped the card over.

"Hey Spike!"

Startled by the voice that so easily shook the silence, Spike dropped the card in his hand.

"Spike?" the voice persisted.

"What is it, Jet?" Spike lazily turned towards him.

"I'm going out to buy us some grub. Take care of the Bebop."

"Yeah, sure," Spike turned back towards the deck of cards and began to search for his dropped card.

Jet grounded his teeth. "Spike I'm serious! No screw ups!"

"Whatever," Spike waved him away haven found his card.

Jet gave a grunt before turning around and heading towards the hanger. "Reckless moron."

"I heard that!" Spike yelled over his shoulder, causing the yellow couch he sat on to groan at his sudden movement.

Spike brought his attention to the card in his hand, it's shared design facing him. All he had to do was twist his wrist.

"Ein!" Ed popped out of nowhere and flopped herself on top of Spike. " Where'd Ein go? Ed can't find Ein."

An annoyed Spike twitched his eyebrow. "Ed! Get off me!" He struggled to get the flexible girl off his stomach. "ED!"

The girl laughed until she noticed a familiar, furry being walk by her. "Ein!" Ed yelled and jumped off Spike.

"Ugh!" Spike was left breathless. "Dammit Ed! Go play somewhere else!"

Ed picked up Ein and laughing with her spinning dog, left the room running.

Picking up his dropped card yet again, Spike was about to flip it-

"Spike," Faye walked in looking around. "Have-"

"WHAT!" Spike exploded, almost standing on the couch. "Can't I just have some time alone to myself!"

Faye stared at him. Spike stared back, breathing hard, his card on the floor yet again.

"I was just going to ask where Jet was. He said he needed to tell me something."

"He went out," Spike said, irritated as he sat down on the couch and began looking for his missing card...again.

Faye gazed at Spike before walking over. Bending down next to the couch, she lifted a card from the floor. "Is this what you're looking for?" She held up the card, elaborate design facing him.

Spike cast a bothered look at her before snatching the card from her hand. "Thanks," he mumbled.

Faye sat down next to him, despite the look he gave her. She surprised herself. Maybe it was because she saw the card's other side.

She watched as he held the card. He would not flip it over. Finally sighing, Spike placed the card on the table, face down, next to the deck. He turned towards Faye, a look crossing his face that showed he had barley noticed her presence had not left the room.

"What do you want?" he grumbled.

Faye crossed her arms, irritated at his words. "So sorry to intrude on your "private quarters". This room is for everyone."

Spike seemed as if he was about to say something but rethought it and instead only sighed.

"What?" Faye said, sensing his uneasiness.

He didn't reply but instead, crossing a leg over another, laid his head back and closed his eyes.

Intrigued by his relaxed pose, especially around her, Faye inched closer to him. She knew she shouldn't but she wanted to. She wanted to know and so she made up her mind. She was going to crack open his shell and shatter his mask.

"Spike..."

He opened his eyes, causing Faye to recoil. He didn't look at her, keeping his gaze towards the ceiling fan. He watched it as it spined lazily around, always the same motion, the same flow. For some strange reason, Spike wanted to have that. He wanted his "old" way of life back. He wanted to go back to the beat of life he used to have. Before Vicious. Before Julia. Before...

It was steady. He wanted that back.

He whispered his wish.

"What?" Faye questioned, slightly leaning towards Spike.

"The past," he spoke quietly but firmly. "Trying to get it back. To find the truth. It's painful. That's why I just let it go, so it won't hurt." He turned towards Faye, his eyes prying into her. "Faye..."

She was surprised. Not at the way Spike was acting but at how she was acting. This was not her. She would never say the words that were gushing out of her lips. She was acting, playing a role. Right? Maybe she had played this role so long she thought it was the real her. Maybe the person she is right now is the real her. Either way, it was not stopping the words that were pouring out so willingly.

"I know," she spoke. "But not for me. At least not that way. I don't know my past. I have no memories. I can't remember." She brought her hands together and stared at them. "That's where I have my pain...not remembering."

Spike slid over to her, forcing her to stare at him. Into his eyes. She could feel his body heat as it radiated over her, his breath rolling over her skin, his past consuming all.

"You see my eyes?" he said. "They are both different colors. I lost one long ago. I see the past with one and the present with the other." He leaned away from her, his heat evaporating leaving her cold and aching for him.

Faye's hands balled into fists as she met his glare. "You talk about letting go of the past but you're the one still living in it!"

Spike met her words with silence. Faye regretted her words, knowing they sliced right through him. She looked at her hands, releasing them from the fists they had captivated themselves into. Turning towards Spike, she noticed he closed his eyes again. The sensation that ran through her was all too familiar. Surprising herself yet again, she reached over and placed a hand on his.

Startled, Spike looked at the warm flesh that stung his skin and followed it's trail to Faye's eyes.

"It's okay," she said. "You can...You can trust me."

"But...Faye...?"

"They say it's less painful when you...talk about it. Let me help. Let me carry your burden."

Spike stared at her, unable to believe what she said. What she was doing. She was a different person and yet...he sensed the warmth that she was trying to offer.

"I...I really...I guess the only thing that mattered to me was Julia. Even though my life before I met her was...nice. In reality, I guess you can say I was...glad I met her. In fact, I was glad to get rid of the life before her. But now I almost want that life back."

He paused. "Why are you doing this?" He slipped his hand away from under Faye's.

Not knowing what to do, Faye brought her hand to her forehead, sights towards the table where the deck of cards still remained. "I...I really don't know." Her eyes landed on the lone card next to the deck. She knew what it was.

"Everyone would say how they fell in love with her smile," Spike continued, ignoring the pause he himself had done. "I fell in love with that and the rest of her."

Another pause. Faye listened quietly still gazing at the card.

"We had to part because of Vicious. He would kill her if he saw her with me again. Although he wouldn't admit to it, I knew Vicious loved Julia."

Faye slightly flinched. "How sad..." she whispered.

"Along the line, Vicious believed we were still seeing each other when we were not. He went to Julia saying she had two choices...kill me or he would kill us both. Either way I would end up dead. Julia chose to kill me.

"She asked me to meet her at our usual place, the graveyard with the only cross-shaped tombstone in Mars. There, she told me of Vicious and how we should never see each other again. From there on, we went our separate ways and took different lives. I haven't heard from her since."

Spike stopped.

They were both silent, sitting together. For some strange reason, Faye felt happy like that. He was there with her and he wasn't being an asshole towards her. She wanted to smile but she knew it she did, it would crack and she would begin to cry.

The couch shifted as Spike stood up. Faye glanced up at him, his crazy hair casting a shadow over his eyes. Suddenly, Faye's happiness shattered as she felt the impact of Spike's tale. Her eyes settled on the card again.

He still loves Julia.

When she lifted her sights anew, Spike was gone. A heavy sigh escaped her lips and she too hoisted herself from the couch and headed to the hanger. Stopping midway the table and stairs, Faye turned back and picked up the card Spike tried in vain to flip over. She gazed at it again.

The ace of spades.

The design was faded, as if rubbed off by someone who tired to get rid of it and its meaning.

Faye sighed leaving the card on the table again, spade side up. She made her way to the hanger. Maybe a nice drink will help drown this out.

Whoa...THANK YOU GUYS SO MUCH FOR REVIEWING! You brought light to my dark world! I was about to give up on this story but then...(holy music in the background) I found these two wonderful reviews and...my life changed! Well I'm glad you liked my story and yeah, I may have taken some scenes out of the anime and placed them here but...heh! Oh yeah and I really don't know much about Spike's past so if I got something wrong, just go with it for the sake of the story...please? Well once again thank you and I'll see you next chapter! Yea! (weirdo...¬¬)