Disclaimer: I do not own Gilmore Girls or the characters in this story. Blah, blah, blah.
A/N: Thank you for the reviews! This chapter isn't really very long, but it was necessary to get some stuff out of the way. It'll get more interesting, I promise. haha. Ok, I just need to clear some things up. This story takes place during season 4. Rory is looking back on her freshman year at Yale. You can just forget about all the Dean-related drama that originally took place in this season, because well, it made me sick. Let's just say Rory and Dean broke up a long time ago. Jess will play a big part in this story (he'll probably show up in the next couple of chapters). They never dated and he never left Stars Hollow. They had a big falling out right before she left for college (this will be explained more later on) and he is currently living in New York. Ok, I think that covers it. Sorry it's so confusing and unorganized right now, but just stick with me. Yeah, so I'm going to stop talking now and just let you read.
Chapter 1
Rory tried to block out the the rays of sun that came streaming through her window, causing red dots to dance across her tightly closed eyelids. She rolled onto her stomach and buried her head in her pillow, desperately searching for darkness. She could still feel its precense; the bright beams of light that grazed her back and the top of her head, remdinding her that it was the start of another day and that she couldn't just lie in bed, using pillows and blankets as a shield against the world that existed right outside her window.
But she had learned to ignore her guilt and her conscience. She didn't allow her mind to think of the consequenses and the repercussions of what she was doing. The only thing she focused on was surviving. She forced herself to eat and to shower. Sleep came easily because she didn't dream anymore. The complete and total darkness that surrounded her while she slept was comforting and the one thing she had left to look forward to every day. But she constantly had to remind herself to breathe. To let her lungs fill with air, and with life. God knows how many times she was tempted to just stop reminding herself. To let the constantly rising water fully submerge her and carry her away into eternal sleep. But everytime she came close to sinking, something would force her back up, pale and shaking, and gasping for air.
Rory had finally started to drift back to sleep when she heard her phone begin to ring. She cursed herself for not unplugging it the night before and tried to tune out the insistant ringing. She breathed a sigh of relief as she heard the ringing stop and buried her head deeper into the pillow. The sound of her mother's panic-stricken voice filled the room and roused Rory from her state of vegetation as she lifted the pillow off her head to hear her mother's muffled words more clearly.
"Rory?" Lorelai's voice was obviously filled with concern. "Are you there? Please answer if you are. It's been two weeks Rory. Where are you? I've been calling your cell phone for days and no one has answered. I even called one of your professors and asked her to give you a message and that it was an emergency but she said that you hadn't been to class in weeks. Please call me back. I'm so worried about you," she was abruptly cut off by the loud beeping of the answering machine, leaving Rory's dorm in a deafening silence once again.
Rory knew she should call her mother back, but she couldn't bring herself to do it. She couldn't face letting Lorelai know what a failure she had become and how close she was to just giving up. She would rather sleep, and let the darkness take everything away.
A/N: So that's it. Short, I know. Sorry. As always, feedback is greatly appreciated. (the good and the bad)