The next couple of days were worse than ever. They practically had the castle to themselves and she was avoiding him. He could almost feel her around every corner. He was constantly aware of her presence and proximity, but he never saw her.
What was worse was that there was no one else around to torment, to take his frustration out on. He was forced to entertain himself and that was not something he was used to. Okay, so maybe it was, but it had always been easy, now he couldn't read, he didn't feel like studying, he just couldn't concentrate on anything. His thoughts always wandered in her general direction, wondering where she was, how she was doing, or worse, reliving everything she had said to him and the look on her face just before she left.
This couldn't be happening, it just couldn't. He simply could not be concerned about a Weasley. It was impossible. So why did he wish he could go back and change that entire evening? Why did he regret saying most of the things he had said? Did he really feel guilty about something? He wasn't capable of that, was he?
She hated him. That was what he wanted, wasn't it? That was the way the universe worked. If she didn't hate him the resulting imbalance would be disasterous. But...there would only be an imbalance if he did hate her. He did hate her, right? He knew something terrible would happen because she had changed. He was changing!
Why did it matter? Maybe, somewhere else in the world, someone else had changed as drastically as she had. Maybe the universe was still balanced and all he had to think about was keeping himself sane. He better see that anyway because he was certainly pushing the boundaries.
He stood in the castle overlooking the grounds again. There was a beautiful blanket of snow covering everything and the sky was crystalline blue. Everything was peaceful, a complete antithesis to how he felt.
Great! There she was again. Did she ever stay inside? At least she was wearing a hat this time. She seemed so small out there, all alone. He watched as she started to dance in the snow and then stop abruptly and stare out across the lake. He wondered what had been going through her head.
Why did he care? So what if she hadn't pushed him away like anyone else would have done? So what if she found comfort in his arms when no one else could provide it? So what if he did understand what it was like to be all alone? So bloody what if her eyes looked more hurt than angry as she had stormed out?
She had accepted him, that's what. She hadn't been disgusted when she realized her comfort was from him. She had accepted him. She had trusted him to help her for just one evening. She had trusted him to keep his bloody mouth shut for just one night. She had found comfort in his arms. That meant she was comfortable. That meant that she wasn't afraid of him, hadn't despised him, and most certainly wasn't in awe of him. She had just accepted him and felt comfortable with him, as if they were the same. No one did that, ever, and now she never would again either.
She shouldn't be alone. Not her. She deserved life and love. She deserved warmth and comfort.
He watched her as she knelt down and started crying again.
No, she couldn't live like this. Balance be damned, she just deserved better. He had never believed in good and bad before, not really, but she was good. He was sure of that now. She was good and she deserved better. No one should be stuck in a life like his, alone and forced to wear a mask at all times, no one, especially not her.
He couldn't watch her anymore. He turned away from the window and made his way back to his common room. He didn't know what he would do there but he had to do something, anything, to take his mind off of everything.
That evening at dinner she actually showed up. There was a total of seven people at the table. Dumbledore, two Racenclaws, two Hufflepuffs, her, and himself. Everyone else had gone home. Two of the others had only remained to keep their friends from being alone.
She was sitting across from and didn't say a word through the whole meal. She just sat there, watching everyone else. He didn't speak either. The Ravenclaws and the Hufflepuffs seemed to get along pretty well, though, so there was plenty to listen to. Not that it was that enteresting, they were only third year and were all girls.
She didn't eat that much, if at all. Quite a bit before dessert she got up and left. Draco followed her out, not interested in dinner anymore.
The door in the entrance hall was open and he could see her sitting out on the steps. He went and sat beside her.