Ginny hadn't gone back to her tower after she left the Room of Requirement. Instead, she had wandered the castle for a few hours. She didn't want to cry anymore and she knew that if she stopped moving the tears would start flowing. Eventually her bodied cried out for sleep and she returned to her room.
The next few days she kept to herself, choosing to eat in the kitchen rather than the Great Hall with the five other students in the castle. She spent most of her time walking on the grounds or sitting before the common room fire, trying to come to terms with her grief.
The problem was that her thoughts kept turning back to Malfoy. At first it was just anger. He wouldn't care about her unless it effected him. She was a moping thing. She had upset his life. Before long, though, she found herself thinking more of his eyes as he had explained why her depression had upset him so. The confusion, the frustration, they seemed so lost. His words had been so cruel, but his eyes had been so…confused. She couldn't find a better word for it.
From there her thoughts took her rather reluctantly to the way his arms had felt around her. They really had been the first source of warmth she had found in months, the first place she felt safe. There was a strength there that came from only one place, understanding. He had been uncomfortable at first, holding her, but he had, and he didn't have to. Regardless of he said about her throwing the universe off kilter, he had not had to stay. He had chosen to. He had chosen to comfort her.
Not to mention the fact that every time he managed to recover his cruel demeanor it seemed forced and he seemed relieved. It honestly seemed as though cruelty was the challenge and concern the nature, contrary to every previous indication. Was it actually possible that her change had such a profound effect on him? Could he change?
All of this confusion wasn't exactly helping close the hole Sirius had left in her life. If anything it made her miss him more. She couldn't write in the journal, tell him everything, and expect sound advice, or at least a sympathetic reply. There would be nothing, no reply. She had to learn how to handle life on her own. It was high time she did so anyway. She was fifteen and it was time to grow up. She would move on with life. All right, so maybe the confusion had helped some.
Determined to reclaim her life, she decided to actually enjoy the day's walk on the grounds. The world was covered in a blanket of snow, the sky was the most beautiful blue she could imagine, it all seemed so peaceful, so light. She started to dance as she walked as she had once done cheerfully.
As she danced her eyes fell on the lake and it all hit her. She just stopped moving as she stared out across the thick sheet of ice. She was alone. She had to face all of this alone. She fell to her knees and cried for the last time as a child.
The rest of the afternoon was not spent in grief or looking back. The rest of the afternoon was spent looking forward. Now that she had finally taken that first step she could think clearly. Malfoy was first time thinking of someone other than himself. It may have started because his world had been disrupted, but it had started, and it was taking him places he had never been before, deeper than he had ever gone. Maybe he wasn't beyond reach after all. Maybe he was simply as alone as she was. Maybe he simply felt the way she had between the night in the Chamber of Secrets and the evening she found Sirius. Maybe all he needed was someone to find him.
She went to dinner that evening for the first time since their encounter. She wasn't sure how he would react. He didn't say anything, no insult, no query, he just watched her carefully. It really was unbearable, listening to the girls discuss their hopes and dreams, and she had accomplished what she had come for, she had gotten his attention. She got up and left.
She went outside and sat down on the steps, leaving the door open behind her. She didn't know whether or not he would follow her, but she wanted him to at least know where she had gone.
She smiled to herself as he came out and sat next to her.
A/N sorry for the cliffhanger, it being at the end of two chapters and all, but really, after the pattern this fic has taken, you really should have seen it coming, right? anyway, i'll update again tomorrow so you won't be tortured too much longer.