Chapter 2: Sorry for the Way I Am

His breath quickened, and his pace increased. This was no mere game he was playing now; he had him on his ass now, that stupid shit-head. The knife in the dumpster about two blocks away was surely to be discovered sooner or later. He had to find it by dawn and clear up any remaining evidence that could prove somewhat near useful. He was paranoid like that. The syndicate had learned to deal with it.

The giant trash box before him promised another messy dig. He knew it wouldn't be in this one, but he had to make sure. Looking around him and seeing no one around, he leapt inside. Dumpster-diving was fun, actually. Having to search for a certain object in a certain dumpster just took all that meaningless fun away; hence why he was practically letting the grime build up upon him.

"Just you wait, traitor. Just. You. Wait." he hissed darkly and had to contain his merciless laughter to himself.

"Hiei, what are we going to do now?" Kurama asked coolly, sitting aside as the press annoyed everyone around them. Hiei shrugged as he looked over his notes.

"Wait until Sergeant Koenma gets here to do something?" he suggested in a monotone that was laced with uncaring. Kurama sighed. This man was impossible. Well, so was Yusuke, but he wasn't here at this point in time. Nope. Just laying down at home with gentle Keiko tending to him.

Botan stood away from the pair. She learned from experience that when Hiei is reading his notes (or really anything, for that matter), he doesn't like to be disturbed. Kurama was an exception. He and Hiei had been friends since Yama-knows-when. Botan thought her head would have been chopped off by whatever sharp object had been in reach the first (and last) time she bothered Hiei's reading. For a week or so she feared him more and had kept her distance. Hiei didn't care; he just wanted to get on with whatever life he currently had.

Botan sighed. There were too many idiots around, which seemed impossible due to Yusuke and Kuwabara's absences. Those two mainly just did the paperwork, no field-stuff. Kurama and Hiei were first pick for whatever homicide came into the department's grasp. Every now-and-then Hiei'd watch the autopsy. Botan tried once, but had to excuse herself and hope that she didn't barf her living organs out. Hiei was strange. He didn't even bat an eyelash as that body was sliced open and the internal things were…were…were too gross for her to remember without the urge to puke. The short man was demented. He would most likely laugh at Saw II (not that she'd seen it, really).

On the inside she knew he had a hard life. Maybe he witnessed murders and suicides as a child. Maybe he was related to a mortician who let him help out from time-to-time. Or maybe he was just immune to life's evil side. She didn't know. All Botan knew (or thought she knew) was that she loved him. Yes, love.

Hiei glanced up at the girl's sigh. It was dreamy.

Probably thinking about that son of a bitch Sniper. He thought with hate. No, make that enmity. Yes, that worked a lot better.

Hiei didn't like the man from the beginning. But after what he'd taken from him… Hiei smirked as murderous thoughts raced throughout his mind. The blood spilling from Sniper's limp carcass while the purple-eyed freak still withered in pain made Hiei's heart beat with anticipation. Slicing open the warm flesh and that crimson treat shooting from the wound was a mere daydream for Hiei. He was ruthless. He was murderous. He was a natural-born killer. He knew this, and treasured that fact deeply in his black heart. Blood tasted good in his mouth, and he loved when that urge to get it through force was satisfied. To kill again would be a miracle.

But that was then. This is now.

He wasn't like that anymore. He didn't need the knife as much. Only for protection and when he was stressed. Unlike the years when he'd cut himself up after a hard day, he threw all his blades at the wall and straight into a picture of whoever pissed him off earlier. Normally it was Koenma. But lately Sniper's photo had slashes and holes and tears in it. Hiei reminded himself to replace that. He hummed a dark tune and continued to read.

Kurama glanced over at his friend. He was thinking about murder again; it was in his blood-red eyes. That craving to kill flooded those orbs, and he could see that it was starting to scare Botan. She would always look into his eyes first. Kurama knew this because it was then that she'd decide whether to stay or runaway. He noticed her back away slightly, but enough for himself and Hiei to notice. Kurama glared at Hiei. Hiei turned his blood-lusted eyes onto Kurama and glared back. Surprisingly they did this quite often. Glaring contests were a mere game to them, as were those days way back when. He was known under a different title then.

Youko.

Yes, that was a scary name to most people nowadays. Some would become paranoid and lock everything right away. Kurama's emerald eyes saddened. He wished he could do something to repent his sins, but those were sins that were too horrid for he himself to face with now. Hiei had no problem with those memories. In fact, Kurama thought he dwelled on them! He also did when ever he became frustrated or angry, however, but his short friend beat him in that department. Kurama stared at Botan.

He'd die if she knew.

He loved her more than anything. But he knew whom she loved the most, and it made him clench his fist in his pocket. Botan was merciful and kind. Hiei was merciless and cruel. Kurama was dangerous himself, but he couldn't put the blue-haired woman in as much danger as Hiei could. If she got in too deep, she'd get hurt. Or worse.

Killed.

His eyes closed, a sign he was about to get lost in his thoughts.

Botan looked over at Kurama. He closed his eyes, meaning that if you tried to talk to him, he wouldn't hear a thing. Hiei was reading. Botan was bored. Very bored. So bored that she thought she could get close enough to Hiei that he wouldn't lash out at her. She neared him. And as the distance shrank, her hear beat faster. Botan now stood by his side, and glanced at the notes he was looking over. She was surprised. His notes were good! Envy came to her violet eyes.

"Are you going to say something or are you going to hover over me until I make you go away?" a cold voice questioned, making her jump. Hiei didn't look at her, just kept his focus on the notes.

"Ah, oh, nothing! I was just…bored! Yeah, bored! And Kurama's thinking, so I don't want to intru—" Botan began but cut herself off at Hiei's slight chuckle. "What?"

"That man must have a theater playing back a million movies in his head for him to zone out like that all the time." he said jokingly. Botan smiled brightly. To hear him joke around like that made her happy. So she laughed softly. Hiei turned his eyes on her sharply. "What?"

"Oh, you're just funny!" Botan replied with joy laced in her voice. Hiei kept his stare upon her.

"I am? I don't think I meant to be."

"You just have that personality. You're funny when you don't mean to be. I like that…a lot."

Hiei felt his face warm at Botan's highly noticeable blush.

"And…and I think you're real…cool, y'know? I know, a total Junior High thing to say, but it's true. You're always strong…tough, and I…I also like that about you…" Botan continued, looking down at her oh so interesting feet. Hiei forced down a blush. It came out a minor scowl.

"What would Sniper think if he heard you?" he asked coldly. He kind of regretted it after he saw Botan's face drop.

"I…I…I don't like him." she admitted. Hiei immediately took attention in her words. "I just go out with him to…to…make you—"

"Jaganshi! Rei! Kurama! There you three are!" Koenma's voice called over the crowd of numerous people. Botan's face was entirely broken while Hiei's was irritated. Kurama, on the other hand, merely twitched in acknowledgement. Sure enough, Koenma came trotting up to them, and Kurama looked at him intently.

"Yes, Koenma, sir?" he asked. Koenma took a quick breather.

"I'm going to give you three a head-start. Run." he huffed.

"Run from what? The press?" Hiei retorted.

"In fact, yes. They want to talk to you all. I suggest you take off ri—" But the trio had power-walked to the police car and hopped in. Koenma watched as they, with an agitated Hiei at the wheel, sped off back to the station.

"Botan."

Botan turned at her name. She looked straight into Hiei's red eyes. Both officers stood alone in the copy room at around midnight-ish.

"Ah, Hiei! You gave me a fright!" she told him with a yawn. Hiei showed no emotion. Botan took this visit to be a serious one.

"Before we left, you said something about not liking Sniper." He cut straight to the point. "And then you said you only go out with him to make me and then you were interrupted. What about me?" Botan's face flustered.

"T-to make you…jealous?" she squeaked. Hiei's eyes softened and he walked to her. Botan stared up at him.

"Why the hell would you wanna do that?" he asked quietly. He edged closer and his hand came up to cup Botan's cheek. "I'm not one you'd be better off falling for, Botan." Botan shook her face from his grasp.

"So! I don't care, Hiei!" she shouted. Hiei looked unaffected. "I can love whoever I want and guess what! I love y—."

She was silenced by his lips.

Hiei kissed her roughly, but gentle enough to tell her everything was okay. Botan pressed back and when his tongue begged for entrance, she gave it to him. Their wet tongues danced and entwined themselves into near-knots. Hiei tasted her every crevasse, and she was copying him perfectly. His arms caged her between them and his body maneuvered onto her. She didn't think he knew that his lower half was pushing against her, but she didn't care. Her fingers got tangled in his raven hair as their kiss grew more passionate as their longing healed slowly.

It hurt to break for air.

"Hi…Hiei!" Botan huffed in surprise. Hiei gave her a heated gaze. She loved the lust in his beautiful ruby-red eyes, even though it embarrassed her to admit it. She loved his breath, his hair, his kiss, his taste! His hips had been rotating slightly on hers, and he only stopped when let out a soft moan.

God, she loved this man.

"Botan…I…I…" He stopped himself. Before he could begin again, Botan kissed him softly. Hiei didn't react. Botan pulled away.

She stared at him with a certain look in her eyes.

A look that made him brush his lips against hers again in compassion.

"Before this gets any more complicated," Hiei told her in a truthful hush. "I'm…" he looked at her in the eyes. Botan looked up at him.

"What?" she said softly.

"I'm…sorry for the way I am, Botan. I'm saying it now before you get hurt." Hiei whispered to her.

Or killed, he thought in sorrow.

"The way you are?" Botan asked under her breath. "I mean, yes, you are a strange one, watching autopsies like that…" Hiei let his eyes grow.

"It's…it's the reason I'm like that is what's dangerous. I don't want to see you like that girl today, Botan. I don't want to see you hurt." he told her ever so sincerely. Botan wrapped her arms around her love.

"Does it matter? I love you…I don't care what happens. I'll always love you, Hiei." She pushed her head into his chest. Hiei put his own arms around her petite form.

"Yes, it matters. Just don't come near me anymore. I'm…" he paused. "Just don't find me. Don't try to contact me. Don't do anything Kurama tells you not to."

Botan stared up at Hiei.

"What?" she breathed.

"I love you." Hiei said a bit huskily in her ear. And with that, he turned and left. Botan stared after him, and didn't notice her arms stretched out to reach him. He loved her, and he was gone. They loved each other...and she was left on the down side as she watched his back disappear into the blackness of the office. She heard a car engine turn on loudly later. He left her. Hiei was gone.

But Botan didn't know that she'd never see him again for years…

Ha ha, wasn't expecting that to happen yet, really. I was planning on them kissing next chappie...oh well.