Dear Lucas,
You have no idea how scared I am. I'm supposed to actually see you in less than a month, and I have no idea what I'm going to say. How do you do it? How do you just say how you feel and accept whatever comes? How do you stand in front of someone and tell them how you really feel no matter how they feel in return? I need so much help, but I can't ask you, and it's killing me. You helped me last time, when I needed to make an auditorium of kids fall in love with me... Tell me, how do I make just one?
Because love has to mean devotion. Complete, head over heels, I'd chop off my hand for you devotion. So you don't love me, or at least you didn't. You say you want to be with me, but I can't just accept that, because look how well that turned out for me the last time. I can't chase you, because I don't seem to be very good at it. But what if I do nothing, and you lose interest? Or, even worse, you come to your senses? I don't think I'd be able to handle that.
Everyone but you seems to think I'm so strong. You've seen me cry more times than I can count, and it scares me. It scares me so bad that you've seen me at my ugliest, my breakdown. Why would someone as strong as you want to be with me? How can you just stand in front of me and tell me that you're willing to do anything? Why doesn't it make me lose all interest in you? Complete vulnerability was never something I looked for in a guy. Disinterest and a tan usually did it. But you know that's not true. I always thought honesty was only something people talked about in lieu of wishes. No one wants to hear the truth, or tell it, because the truth is pathetic. But you make it sound so real, so strong. How do I do that too, Lucas?
Love,
Brooke
Lucas sat still on the bus, Nathan going over plays in his head next to him. Whenever he started playing basketball in his mind, Nathan always whispered into closed fists. This wasn't good. Lucas wasn't focusing on the game, or plays, or strategies. He was reading over love letters in his head.
Whitey walked back to them, leaning his arm on the seat in front of the two captains.
"Mr. Scott." He nodded. "Mr. Scott. I don't mean to interrupt your trains of thought, but I wanted you boys to know that you're going to be introducing your cheer team after the game."
"Why?" Nathan asked, his fists lowered between his knees.
"Why? These ladies devote their talent to you and your team; it's the least you can do. Personal relationships aside, these girls come to every one of your blasted games, and no matter how badly you suck; they make the crowd believe you have a chance in hell. Lord knows I wouldn't be able to do it."
"That's just because no one wants to see you in a miniskirt, Coach," Nathan said, lowering his head back to his hands.
"That too. So just split some fighting words for the girls between the two of you, and take a shower after the game. No one wants a bunch of sweaty, idiotic announcers."
Whitey smiled towards Lucas in a knowing way and walked back up to his seat in the front of the bus. Nathan leaned back in his seat, watching Lucas's fingers tap the rhythm returned to his headphones.
"Hey." He pulled out the cord, and Lucas looked up.
"Don't mess today up. I don't want Whitey to lose all faith in us whatsoever. We lose and maybe even Brooke won't look at you like you're fucking Superman."
"She doesn't..."
"Yeah whatever. Just listen to me and Whitey, and stay focused."
"I'm captain too. So you better listen to me too, 'Superman.'"
Nathan laughed. "All right, Captain. Lead me to be like you."
"What happened to us being friends, Nate?"
"What happened to us being a winning team, Captain?"
Brooke threw her gym bag over her shoulder, clutching her thin sweatshirt tighter around her shoulders. Once all the girls were off, Brooke turned around, teeth chattering.
"So here's the deal, girls. Do not waste all your energy at an early game. I taught you to peak at seven, and that's what I need you to do tonight. Ready?"
Rachel raised her hand, and Brooke crossed her arms.
"Yes? Problem?"
"Will we have time between the game and the competition for other extra curriculars?" She raised an eyebrow.
"Forty minutes, but I don't think you should waste them in... energy consuming activities. Anyone else?"
No one said anything, so Brooke nodded. "All right. Let's win."
"Ladies and gentlemen, the Tree Hill Ravens!" Mouth grinned as the boys hugged each other in the middle of the court. "In their first victory of the season, Captain Nathan Scott returns to the hype he deserves in scoring thirty points, but for once, he is outshined by the godly performance given by his co-captain, Lucas Scott. Lucas returns from an embarrassing game to give the best performance seen this season and he gives his team the forty-five points they earned. These two phenomenal talents bring their team to victory at ninety to seventy two."
Mouth put down his mike and hugged Brooke over his table.
"Great job today, Mouth."
"I can't wait to say the same to you."
She smiled and turned her head slightly to see Rachel jump into Lucas's arms and kiss him on the cheek. Mouth followed her sight and kissed her cheek too.
"You're going to do amazing, Brooke."
Brooke turned back around with her smile still in place. "Thanks."
She spun on her heel and walked back to the rest of the squad, regaining her composure. Then she walked up to Rachel, still in Lucas's arms, and tapped her on the back.
"Hi, Rachel? I just wanted you to know in case you forgot that we have a competition tonight, and so loading the bus would be great. You know, for my squad."
"Great, Captain. Anything for your squad." Rachel grinned toothily and kissed Lucas one more time on his cheek. "Great game." She pushed past Brooke, making sure her shoulder hit her hard on her way out.
Lucas wiped his forehead with the back of his hand and looked expectantly at Brooke. She smiled as sweetly as she could.
"Yeah. I always knew you had an amazing game."
"Thanks. But keep the attitude for your squad."
"You don't know what attitude is, Scott."
"If you want to talk about this, maybe we shouldn't do it in front of your squad, Davis. Creates a bad image." He smirked and walked past her into the locker room.
Brooke groaned and turned back around to get her megaphone and an identical sympathetic look from Peyton and Haley.
"Are you guys loaded?" Brooke asked, her hands on her hips.
"Yeah, Brooke. You want to get something to eat before we have to board?" Peyton wrapped her arm around Brooke's shoulders and led her to the concession stand by the bleachers.
"Good game, Lucas." Tim clapped him on the shoulder as he walked past. A couple other players nodded, Nathan at the back.
"That's what I was talking about, Captain." He smiled with real happiness as he walked backwards to the bus. "But dry your hair; you can't pull off the wet look."
Lucas nodded with a matching smile, running his hand through his still wet hair, his other shoving further into his sweatshirt pocket. The crowd people walked out of the school, watching him in awe. Finally, Peyton, Brooke, and Haley came out, their arms around each other. They stopped at the sight of him, Brooke's eyes locking angrily with his.
"Can I talk to you?" he asked, ignoring his best friends to the side of her. Peyton looked questioningly at Brooke, but Brooke just nodded.
"You girls have fifteen more minutes until you have to be on the bus."
"Are you going to be okay, Brooke?" Haley asked, hushed in Brooke's ear. Brooke nodded, honoring Haley with a look. Peyton shook her head but left Brooke's side.
"Good game, Lucas," Peyton said as she walked away. Haley repeated her and gave him a guilty smile. Guilty for taking Brooke's side, even though she'd been doing it since she'd seen Brooke cry herself to sleep.
Brooke watched them leave, and then she turned to look at him. "What do you want?"
Lucas took her hand and pulled her to the side of the school. He pressed her up against the brick, pushed back the sleeves of her sweatshirt, caressed the bare skin between her skirt and top, and kissed her neck. Brooke tightened, not pushing him away, but not touching him back. His fingers were rubbing against hers, but she didn't move any way in return.
He trailed his kisses up to her mouth, frustrated beyond belief when her lips didn't move with his.
"What do you want, Brooke?" he asked, extending his hands and walking away from her.
"You're kidding." She crossed her arms.
"Nope. I just can't seem to figure it out. You talk about love and wanting, so what is this? I thought I was giving you what you wanted."
"What I wanted? You think I ever wanted you to use me? I could be any piece of ass to you, and you wouldn't be able to tell the difference."
"Then why am I not with Rachel?"
"Honestly, Lucas? I have no idea. You don't seem to care about anything I say, but you're pretty damn eager to be near me when my shirt comes off."
"You're right. I guess Rachel would really be just as good as you. Probably better. She is a better dancer."
"I'm surprised you're not sleeping with her already. Aren't you the king of the hookups?"
"Just with sluts."
Brooke choked on a tear in the back of her throat, but nodded. "And what do you think Rachel is?"
"Exactly. Thanks for the tip off."
"So this... these little meetings are over?"
"What, the sex? I guess they are."
"Thank god."
"Thank the fucking lord."
"So this means we're done here?"
"That's what it means."
"Fantastic." Brooke bit her lip with harsh force and walked toward the bus. Lucas punched the wall and went off towards his own bus.
"What did Lucas want?" Peyton asked, pulling her hair up into a ponytail.
Brooke shrugged and collapsed next to Peyton in the seat. "Just... gloating, basically."
"Over what?"
"His game."
"Because all Lucas can stand to do is tell you what a great basketball player he is."
Brooke shrugged again and wrapped her arms around her stomach.
"He wants you, Brooke," Peyton whispered, closing her eyes and leaning against the window.
"Don't sleep. Keep the energy high," Brooke said, putting her earphones in.
Peyton smiled, but nodded. "Yes, Captain."
"Ladies and gentlemen, some of the hardest working girls in South Carolina are here tonight to entertain you." Nathan rested the microphone by his side.
"These girls work for someone else's victory on a daily basis. Tonight, we're all hoping for theirs." Lucas couldn't find Nathan's size of a smile inside of him, so he just brought down his arm.
"So here they are, the Tree Hill High cheerleaders."
It bothered Lucas beyond believe that Brooke was basically giggling in front of the girls. Nathan shoved his arm, laughing quietly.
"Way to be subtle, Luke."
"At what?"
"She looks hot." Nathan nodded.
Lucas saw Brooke's eyes flash to his for a second, so he changed his gaze to Rachel. Her smile wasn't as wide as Brooke's, her teeth not even showing. She was staring at him. He nodded slightly, making her wink and stumble as Brooke walked past her. She recovered, but her smile was nearly gone, and Brooke's smile had turned into an 'I told you so.'
It's shorter, because I wrote this over two days, so the mood changed. I didn't want to keep you guys going, but I wanted to get this out before it completely turned courses. The response to this story is truly phenomenal. It's the best I've ever had, and I'm so glad that you guys are enjoying it, because I am too. Don't be led on by the update level... the surge is over. But I'll try my best.