You guys are beyond amazing. Thank you so much for reading, and I... hope you'll enjoy it. And I hope you all had a happy holidays.

Dear Lucas,

It's kind of ridiculous that it takes me so long to write something that'll probably never see your eyes. I'm scared about what you're going to think of me when you're not even going to have the opportunity to make any judgment. I miss you. Talking with you always seems to be better face to face. I'm at least able to force some sort of composure.

I've given up on the boys of California. They're all so similar. My parents seem to have found the non-gay section, but that's about all they have going for them. I miss you.

It's even more pathetic to sit watching a blank paper than it is to be lost for words in person.

What scares me even more is that the more I stare at these sheets, the more I think I really do love you.

Love,

Brooke

Brooke clicked her key at her car and pushed her hair out of her face. Opening her door, she threw her gym bag into the passenger seat and took a wary look around the dark parking lot before getting in too. She stuck her key in the ignition and was about to turn it when a hand covered her eyes. Brooke had learned to scream in the fourth grade, and she had been perfecting her technique ever since, but she barely got a yelp out before a dark voice whispered, "Guess who?"

Brooke swallowed her scream and released heavy breaths. "Lucas, dear god. You only stopped my heart from beating."

"Some people call that romance."

"Not if I'm reaching for my mace."

"Since when do you have mace?"

"It's an expression." Brooke turned her head to look at Lucas's cocked head and smiling eyes. She smiled back, but choked into laughter.

"You're naked."

He raised his eyebrows. "Have I got the wrong car?"

"I'll let you stay."

"Oh I greatly appreciate that, ma'am. I just need to get..." Brooke threw herself forward and attacked his lips with her own. Her hand pulled him closer to her, but he pulled back, bringing her into the back seat.

"What would you have done if I gave Haley a ride home?" she asked, letting her fingers wander down his very naked torso.

"Maybe get dressed."

"Maybe."

"Mmm..." he mumbled and tugged at the tight back of her cheerleading uniform. She sat up and helped him get the zipper. He pulled it over her head as she eyed the rest of his body.

"You're really naked."

"Yeah."

"It's just..." she started, giggling.

"Well, what are you going to do about it?"

She grinned and started to slide down his chest towards his waist, but he stopped her, holding onto her back.

"You don't have to do that."

"Lucas Scott turning down free head?"

"Well, it's usually free considering I haven't hung around with too many prostitutes since Crystal got married to that billionaire and left me."

"It happens. So what do you want me to do with you?"

"Strip."

"I'm not sure I can do that with you, considering your substantial head start..." Brooke laughed as Lucas breathed in her ear, jerking down her skirt.

"You can make up for it." He threw her skirt over the seat into the front and pushed her bra straps down with his mouth and receding kisses. She pushed her weight onto the strip of leather between his broad shoulders and the back of the seat, but as he slid down her underwear, he also brought her down against him.

She sighed slowly, kissing his mouth again. He pushed down on the small of her back, arching it with ease. Her lips pulled on his but his other hand came up to bring her head back down to him.

Then, the doorknob turned.

"Hey Brooke, did you give Hale...oh. Wow. That's... a lot of naked." Nathan stood straight up so his line of vision was above the car, his hand coming up out of instinct.

"Shit," Lucas whispered, as if it made any difference how loud he was. He pushed Brooke up by her shoulders and grabbed his pants from the floor, yanking them up his legs. "Nate!"

He got out of the car, still topless and followed Nathan's pacing.

"What the hell were you doing, dude?" Nathan shook his head, his hand sliding back to the back of his head. "I mean, I know what you were doing, but...shit, dude, zip your goddamn fly."

Brooke pulled a tee shirt and pair of jeans out of her gym bag and followed the two brothers.

"Nathan..."

"And you. What the hell are you thinking? How goddamn long has this been going on? Did you guys ever stop screwing each other? Jesus Christ, Brooke, I thought you had respect for yourself."

"It's not like that," Lucas muttered.

"Nathan, please don't tell Haley. Please." Brooke tilted her head to look into his eyes as she widened her own.

"Don't try to give me that. Do you realize what you're doing to yourself?"

"Please don't tell her," Brooke repeated, touching his arm.

"No, Brooke, I do not want to know where that hand has been." Nathan shook her off and shook his head again. "Luke... where's your head? Where's your head?" he directed towards Brooke.

"I'm going to... go," Brooke said, wrapping her arms around herself and turning back towards the car.

"Brooke," Nathan called out. She turned her head around.

"I won't tell her. But you should." He shoved Lucas's folded arm.

Brooke nodded and kept walking, her lips curling towards the two of them as she started to drive off.

Nathan started shaking his head again. "How long has this been going on?"

Lucas shrugged. "A few weeks."

"But you won't forgive her."

Lucas sighed. "Nope."

"But you'll fuck her."

He shrugged again. "It's Brooke."

"Yeah, why don't you use her again? It's just Brooke."

"I'm not using her."

"Oh no, you're doing this for her. I understand. Your dick does whatever your angry, bitter head tells it to do, which is... to follow the orders of the girl that hurt you."

"I wouldn't use Brooke for sex."

"No, you're using sex to forgive her. Do you guys even talk, or is it a lights off, mouths shut sort of thing?"

"We talk."

"You don't talk in public. Just when you're in bed."

"We talked in public at the game."

"You cursed at each other. That's not the kind of talking I was thinking of. I was imagining something with the words I'm sorry in it."

"She's apologized."

"Oh. That's real big of her. But I was thinking about you." Nathan cocked his head in half nod, then shook his head a final time. "I guess you need a ride, player. Get in." He opened up the door to his own car. "But don't do that naked stuff in here."

Brooke tried to close her bedroom door as quietly as possible, but as soon as the latch clicked, Haley's form sat up in the dark.

"Brooke?"

"Go back to sleep, Hales."

"What took you so long? I was home over an hour ago."

"I ran into your husband, and we were talking. Speaking of which, are you going to move in together or what?"

"Not while he's living at Dan's. And we're not about to kick you out."

"Oh. Right. Well, good night."

Brooke took off her jeans and slipped between her bed sheets, and she was about to fall asleep when Haley started talking again.

"What were you guys talking about? I never thought you guys were... you know, close?"

Brooke stayed silent as long as she could before Haley would check to see if she was still awake. "We happen to be having problems with the same person."

"You know, Brooke, I really think you and Lucas should try having a civilized conversation, because you're both civilized people, and..."

"Haley, just leave it. Lucas and I... we're getting better. I think."

"How do you mean?"

"When I talk to him, I don't burst into tears?"

"Brooke..."

"But I'm serious. Ever since that... game, well, we've been civil towards each other."

"Really? Do you think he's ready to forgive you?"

"No." Brooke pulled the covers over her head and curled her legs up beneath her.

"Where did Chris go anyway?"

"I dunno." Brooke's voice was muffled, and Haley gave up.

Karen tossed Lucas a muffin as he sat down at the table.

"You got home late last night."

"I was with Nathan."

Karen nodded. "I saw his car. Are you two okay?"

He shrugged and started picking at the top of the muffin. She uncomfortably fiddled with her fingers, stroking her mug. Lucas was focused on the crumbs that got loose.

"Lucas."

He looked up, and Karen shifted again.

"You know I don't mean to pry, right?"

"But..."

"But I need to know you're going to do something about what you're doing to that poor girl."

"Who?" He stuck his thumb in his mouth and sucked off a bit of chocolate.

"Do not give me that, Lucas Scott."

"Oh, Brooke? What do you want me to do about her?"

"You know you can't survive doing what you're doing with how you're doing it."

"Mom... no offense, but you can't really understand."

"I understand fine. But what are you going to do if she starts going out with someone else?"

"She's not going out with me, so I... I wouldn't have a problem."

"You really think it's not going to hurt you to see her with someone else while you two are..." Karen took a deep breath. "While you two are... doing what you're doing."

"I guess."

"No, Lucas, I know you. You're a good boy, really. And I know you know something's wrong with this. And if you don't, you have to know that this can't go on the way it's going."

"Lots of people do it, Mom. Friends with benefits."

"But you're not friends. And didn't you hate that boy who tried to do that with her last?"

"He wasn't good for her."

"And you are?"

"No. I'm not. And that's why we're not dating."

"Just having sex."

He set down the paper from his muffin and shrugged. "It's what we're good at."

Karen cringed and shook her head. "No, Luke, it's not. You're good at talking, and getting your feelings out, and making people happy. And right now you're not doing any of that. Do you even know how she feels about any of this?"

He nodded with his head down, his arms crossing across his chest. "I know."

"How? You guys don't talk."

"She wrote me these letters. All over the summer. I know."

Karen shut her mouth and leaned back against the back of her chair, her mouth slightly open. "And?"

"She said she loved me."

"Oh, Lucas. You can't really believe that much has changed since the summer."

"That's what she proved to me."

"It's not possible she made a mistake?"

"No. It is possible. She made a huge one when she thought she might have loved me."

"Luke..."

"No, Mom, I don't care. I don't care what she thinks might have been, because she obviously doesn't. I don't want to have to make her fall in love with me."

"What if all you have to do is realize she already is?"

"I can't know the truth no matter what she says. How do I know she isn't just thinking she might want to be with me? Or what if we do get together and I find out she isn't happy with just me and needs people like Chris Keller?"

"You can't be sure unless you ask."

"I can't be with someone who thinks she's in love with one person and then sleeps with someone else."

"Because sex is a big deal."

"Yeah. But this is different."

"Of course. What you're doing with Brooke is totally different, because that sex isn't a big deal at all. Because there are no real feelings even though she says she loves you."

"Loved."

"She's never said she loves you now?"

"No. Well... yeah, but she..."

"She didn't mean it, right?"

"Right."

"Do you love her? Yes, you're mad at her, but do you love her? If she hadn't done anything to betray your trust, would you be with her right now? Would you be telling her you loved her when you made love to her?"

"Yes. But I would be a different person."

"Do you love her anyways? You can be mad at her actions, and you can want her, but do you love her?"

"Mom, don't ask these questions."

"Fine. I won't ask you. But you should ask yourself."