Ancient History
Chapter Eleven: Thoughts of Her
By Ddoskocil
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So how to get her out of the chamber? Not the most action filled chapter, but it's got a lot of Carson in it. That's always a plus. :D

ccgig: Yep, still had to wait a week. Sorry. ;)
Vecturist: Thanks you, and yes. Couldn't have ended that chapter any different.
Soccor-Bitch: Thanks you times 2. Glad you liked the X-Mas story
asendeones: Sorry for the confussion with the X-Mas special. Hope everything was cleared up.

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"What's the status on Captain Sheppard?" Elizabeth asked as she glanced around the table. Carson felt her stare rest longest on him. He continued to stare at the legal pad in front of him. He could hardly focus on the words written on the yellow paper. He heard Elizabeth say his name. With much effort, he tried to push his feelings for the woman to the back of his mind as he opened the meeting.

"Her vitals are the same. Whatever that contraption is doing, it's keeping her body alive. Her ECG is normal and she's breathing on her own, but her EEG is flat."

"English, Carson," Elizabeth reminded him.

"Her heart is beating normally, her lungs are functioning normally, but there's no brain activity. It's as if," he paused and rubbed his forehead with his forefinger and thumb. "She's completely brain dead. I don't understand it and frankly, I don't think I can do anything about it."

Carson could feel himself start to crack. There was moisture in his eyes and his mouth felt dry. His job was difficult enough when it was Rodney or John or Teyla or any of the other people in the city he could call friend. But he was talking about Erika. His Erika. It left him feeling completely helpless. He hated feeling helpless.

"One of Erika's - Captain Sheppard's - people was able to finish the translations on the terminal. We think it's some kind of memory device, something that stores people's memories," Rodney broke in, much to Carson's relief. "From what we can tell, it was meant to be some kind of teaching tool. It's really quite fascinating-"

"Rodney," John barked.

"Right. Getting to the point. For some reason it didn't just take select memories, it took everything. This device basically downloaded all of her memories, her mind, everything, in this machine. The problem is isolating her memories from the ones already in the device. Zelenka is working on it right now, but it's incredibly complicated. First we had to modify the-" the scientist rambled.

"Rodney, spare us the techno babble. Get. Her. Out," Carson snapped as he stood. The pure angst in his voice surprised even him.

"We're trying, Carson," Elizabeth replied. Carson collapsed back into his chair. He felt sick and suddenly very tired. He had not slept since Erika became trapped four days ago. He crossed his arms over his chest as he slumped back in the chair. He knew he needed rest, but he also knew he would not be getting any sleep until she was out.

"Whatever the plan is, Rodney, you have a go," Elizabeth commented. Rodney did not wait for another word. He got up and practically ran from the room, followed very closely by Sheppard. Carson sat for a moment longer, caught between relief that Rodney had a plan and terror that it would not work. He looked up when Elizabeth placed a hand on his shoulder.

"How are you doing, Carson?"

"Oh, I've been better," he replied. He even managed a small smile as he said it. He stood slowly.

"You should get some rest, Carson. I'll let you know if anything happens."

Carson nodded. "Aye, I know. I just don't think I'll be able to. Not until she's safe, anyway. I've never had to deal with anything like this, Elizabeth. Even if Rodney can get her out, I don't know if she'll recover. Who knows what that thing is doing to her?" Elizabeth nodded in understanding and left him there. Carson sighed as he dragged himself from the room. He knew he should follow Elizabeth's advice, but he needed to talk to Rodney first. He slowly, dreadfully, made his way back down to the lab his love was trapped in. Rodney was already working on something, although John was nowhere to be found. Carson ignored Rodney for a moment and stepped up to the chamber, careful not to touch anything. He watched her slow breathing before his eyes trailed up to her pale face. He needed to touch her, to know she was truly alive, even if brain dead, but he did not.

"Carson."

He tore his gaze away from Erika to find Radek at his side. He had not heard the Czech come in and was startled for a second before he collected himself. "I need to have a full medical team here before you two bring her out of that. I have no idear what might happen when she's disconnected from the life support." Rodney turned and looked at him, concern clearly etched on his friend's features.

"We'll get her out, Carson," he said with determination. "You should sleep. You look like hell." With that, Rodney turned and went back to his work. Carson watched him work for a moment; a little smirk touched his lips. He was sure the scientist had not slept either. But there was little Carson could do in the room, except stare at his love. He turned back to her, believing almost for an instant that she was asleep. The wires and tubes sticking out of her body ruined the illusion. He gazed at her a moment longer before he left.

Carson wandered the halls absently. He knew he needed to return to work. There were reports to type and two men from Major Lorne's team had come back with broken bones and infections. He stopped and looked around, surprised to see he was standing in front of Erika's door. He hesitated slightly, looking both ways down the hall before he touched the blue crystals and entered.

The room was exactly as she left it four days ago. One wall was lined with all her personal things: a small bookshelf crammed with textbooks, her framed diplomas, a pair of ballerina pointe shoes hanging from a thumbtack. Carson looked at those the longest. He never quite understood why she chose those as her personal item. He never saw her wear them. He was not even sure she ever took them off the wall, although he knew she still danced. A tiny grin took hold as he remembered watching her gracefully body for the first time as she exploded into motion. He could watch her dance for hours. He hoped he would get a chance to watch her again.

The thought left him weak in the knees. He sank to her bed and cradled his head in his hands. He took several deep breaths. Now was not the time to fall apart. He needed to stay focused, stay in control. He needed to keep himself busy while Rodney worked. He needed anything to keep his mind off of Erika. With a heavy sigh he went to his office.

But working in his office hardly did the trick. Every time he tried to type a report, his eyes were drawn to one of the two pictures that sat on his desk. The first was his parents. The most recent addition was one of Erika and himself, with her perched on his back, her arms around his neck. They were looking at each other, smiling. He loved to see her smile and would do anything just to be on the receiving end of one. He picked the picture up and studied her face. He lovingly brushed his fingertips over her image as fond memories of their time together flashed through his mind. Tears threatened to spill down his cheeks at the thought of never being with her again.

There was a knock at his door. Carson hastily put the picture aside and wiped his eyes. He casually glanced at the clock. Another six hours had passed since his nightmare began. He pushed the thoughts away and began pecking at the keyboard as he called "come in" over his shoulder. He was surprised when John entered the cramped space.

"Colonel, what can I do for you?" he asked, keeping his eyes on the computer screen. John was silent for a while as he looked around Carson's office. He spied the picture of Erika and picked it up. Carson tensed.

"You really care for Erika?" John asked. Carson sighed and turned away from his computer. He gently took the picture from John and looked at it again, taking his fill of her beauty before he spoke.

"Aye," he finally said, keeping his eyes on her image. "She's the best thing that ever happened to me. I don't know what I would do if Rodney can't get her out." The tears were threatening him again, but he did nothing to wipe them away. He looked up at Sheppard. "Aye, John, I truly care about her. I've never cared for a woman more than I care for Erika."

John was about to reply, but Rodney suddenly sounded over the radio. "John, Carson, I think I've got it. We need to do this now though, before it short-circuits," he said. Carson leapt from his chair.

"I'm on my way. Don't try anything until I've got a full medical team in there," he commanded into his radio. He ran from the office, shouting orders to his nurses and assistants. John was hot on their heals as the medical team raced down the corridors of Atlantis to the room where Erika was trapped. Carson vaguely noticed that Elizabeth, Teyla, and Ronan were already standing off to the side.

At Carson's nod, Rodney started the final procedures and powered up the machine. It whorled and flashed and suddenly Erika Sheppard collapsed to the floor. John and Carson raced to her. Carson looked her over with a glance, his heart plummeting. She was pale and cold. He quickly checked her pulse.

"She's not breathing and has no pulse," he yelled to his staff.

"Doctor, the defibrillator won't charge," one of the nurses yelled. Carson swore, trying not panic in front of everyone. He took a deep breath.

"Should I grab the backup?'

"No time," Carson responded. "Colonel, I need some room." John moved back as Carson started CPR. He opened her airway, and when she did not start breathing on her own, he dropped his mouth to hers. He breathed into her, willing her to come back to life, before pumping on her chest. He tried again, breathing his life into her, hoping she would come back to him. "Come on, Erika," he whispered as he pumped her chest. He lowered his mouth to hers a third time and breathed. Her body shook to life as she coughed, struggling to breath on her own. He rolled her on her side. She vomited twice. Carson touched his fingers against her throat, finding a weak pulse.

"Get the gurney over here. Start oxygen," he called as he cradled Erika in his arms. His assistants moved the gurney down and Carson placed his precious bundle on to it. He checked her pulse again as an oxygen mask was placed over her face.

"Is she all right?" John asked as he rushed up. Carson shook his head and rushed past the colonel as they raced to the infirmary. He barked orders at his nurses as they moved Erika on to one of the beds. He watched as one of the nurses started an IV, his fists clenched as he tried to keep his cool, reminding himself over and over that she was alive. He had no clue what kind of permanent damage the device did to her, but she was alive.

"Dr. Beckett." Kevin, his assistant called. Carson turned his head slowly. "Should we give her anything else? Dr. Beckett?" Carson shook his head, trying to concentrate.

"Set up a heart monitor. God, she's not breathing again. We need to intubate and put her on a ventilator." Carson quickly dawned gloves. A tube was dropped into his waiting hands and he set to work. With care he threaded it into her lungs. The second he moved out of the way, his assistant hooked the end of the tube to the ventilator. He saw her chest move up as the ventilator forced air in and out of her lungs.

"I'll want to take some x-rays and a CAT scan as well, so go see if you can find that device from Rodney." Kevin nodded and shooed the nurses from the bedside. He offered a sympathetic glance at Carson as he closed the curtain behind him. All of his exhaustion caught up with Carson at that moment. He collapsed into the chair next to the bed. He looked at the young woman lying on the bed next to him and listened to the stable beeping of the heart monitor and pumping of the ventilator. He leaned forward and ran a hand over her hair as he placed a soft kiss on her forehead. He gathered her smaller hands in his and rested his head against the bed. Finally Carson slept.

John yanked the curtain aside. He was stopped in his tracks by the site of his cousin lying on the bed, looking very pale. The tube sticking out of her throat did nothing to ease the growing anxiety in his stomach. Neither did the wires attached to her chest and head. John took a step around the bed to find Carson slumped next to the Erika, fast asleep.

"He loves her, you know," Elizabeth commented as she came up behind him. John nodded slowly.

"I know. I'm just worried about her."

"You're not the only one, John. We're all worried about her." John followed her gaze to see Rodney, Teyla, Ronan, and a few people from Erika's team milling around the infirmary. He allowed a small smile to cross his face before he turned back to Erika and the sleeping Carson.

"Yeah." He sighed and pulled up a chair, determined not to leave until she was awake. "I'll let you guys know when she wakes up."