Thank you so much to everyone that reviewed the last three chapters. I'm so happy that so many people like it enough to review! It makes my day! Bye for now x

Leaving day

I open my eyes and for a second I forget what today is. Then it hits me and tears spring to my eyes.

He's going and we don't know how long for.

"Morning." His breath rushes in my ear and I turn over to kiss him. He looks tired and I know that neither of us slept great amounts last night. But, wow. Let's just say I will have good memories of him.

"I wish I didn't have to go. I'm going to miss you. It would be okay if I knew when I could come back, but Dmitri will want me to stay for a bit no doubt."

"It's okay. They have phones in Croatia right?"

"Yeah, and everyone is allowed one call a week." He says seriously.

"What????" I screech, then blush as I realise he's laughing.

"Joking." He splutters between giggles. "I'd better be getting up. My plane goes at 12. It's 9am now." We wriggle out of bed, and I sway.

"Something up?" Luka asks.

"Just a bit dizzy. Probably the flu." He nods and heads into the bathroom.

Whilst he takes a shower I wake Alex up and start breakfast, making sure I give Luka the most juice and the most bacon and the most pancakes.

"Luka?" I call. "Luka?!" I put down the plates and walk into the bedroom. Luka is standing by his case looking down.

"Luka?" I almost whisper as I approach him. He turns round and smiles but I can see his eyes are moist.

"Can I take this?" He holds out a picture and I look at it. It's one of the three of us at the lake last year, in a frame. I have it next to my bed to remind me of them every morning.

"Of course. As long as I can keep this one here." I reach out and pick up his wallet. Flipping it open I pull out my favourite picture, ever. It's also taken at the lake and it's of Luka and Alex fishing. Alex is sitting on Luka's lap and they're both smiling. It's so perfect.

He nods, and pulls me to him, hugging me.

"I'm gonna miss you." He whispers. I nod, overcome by tears. He lets me go and leans down, kissing my cheeks and taking the tears away.

"All gone." He says, smiling. I smile back and together we return to the table. Alex is midway through a pancake, and looks up at me.

"I was really hungry." I roll my eyes and sit down. We all manage to eat breakfast without any fuss.

----There's still a little bit of your taste in my mouth

There's still a little bit of you laced with my doubt

It's still a little hard to see what's going on.

There's still a little bit of your ghost, your weakness

There's still a little bit of your face I haven't kissed

You step a little closer each day that I can't say what's going on… ---

I think I have just cried out every last drop of liquid in my body. Alex has never seen me cry so much, so he's a bit freaked out.

"Are you sure you can see properly? I mean, I don't wanna crash or anything."

"Alex, I'm good." I snuffle, pulling out in front of a Jeep. Oops, maybe I'm not good, more like okay or pulling through. "Let's just get home."

"Don't kill me."

"I won't."

"Don't start crying again."

"I wont." I wipe my nose and carry on driving. These next few days are going to be tough- it's been 10 months since I've been alone in the apartment for more than a few hours. It's going to be very weird.

------------------

"Hi Sammy, how are you?"

"Yeah I'm…okay." I say, pulling various food stuffs from the fridge.

"The flight was fine; I slept most of the way." He chuckles and I smile at the sound. "Has your dizzinessgot worse?"

"No, it's been okay. Still feeling sick sometimes so I might ask Abby or someone to check me over."

"Sam, have you thought about…" He leaves it hanging.

"Oh jeez Luka, no. That's not possible."

"Everything is possible. Maybe you should do a test."

"We've used protection every time. No way." I push the subject out of my head. There's no chance it's possible.

"But…"

"Luka, please. I know my own body. There is no way I'm…" I don't want to say that word, I've never liked it.

"Okay."

"How's your dad?" I change the subject fast.

"He's fine…actually no. He's very sick. End stage lung cancer, pleurisy, possible heart and liver failure. He has altered mental status, he's hallucinating. It's horrible."

"I'm so sorry." I can't begin to know what he's feeling, seeing his father for the first time in years in that state. I've seen too many people with those problems to know what it's like. They're basically a skeleton, unable to eat, drink or even breathe sometimes. It's hard to watch them, like I did, battle for days, weeks sometimes months to stay in a place somewhere between life and death. They hang there and there's nothing we can do to cut the last thread, we have to watch.

"I wish he knew I was here." His voice cracks and I know how close he is to tears.

"He does. Luka, I know it. He senses you're there even if it doesn't seem like it."

"Hmmm, maybe; Dmitri is driving me mad though. He seems to think he knows what Tata needs." Luka sighs. "He's always been bossy ever since he was small."

"You're no push-over."

"You need to meet Dmitri then. I will seem like an angel."

I chuckle. "I doubt that very much. You left your halo in the tumble drier and it's shrunk." He laughs and I realise how different it sounds down a phone line.

"So where are you staying?"

"With Dmi, Catriona, and their kids Jakob, Leioa and Lilia."

"Awww, so you get to see them all again."

"Yeah, Jakob is Alex's age so I can really relate to him. Lilia is a bit wary cos she was one when I last saw her but Leioa is a sweetie."

"Sounds nice. Alex is here and he keeps waving at me. I think he wants to speak to you."

"Okay, put him on." I pass the phone to Alex and continue making dinner. He laughs a lot and says a few things about me crying and lying with my head on Luka's pillow. Thanks Al, there goes my cool act.

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R&R folks, and make my Xmas a great one. Merry Xmas everyone!!!!!