22rd December

Sam's POV

I thread the tinsel round the tree for the fourth time, and for the fifth time it falls off. I give up.

Luka isn't coming home because although Jakob and Leioa's passports are valid, Lilia's got lost somewhere. It's weird to think that when they arrive, these kids aren't going to know very much English. I'm worried for them, starting in a new country after such a big loss. Luka says they're excited but I'm not sure they'll be so excited once they come to leave.

Alex was gutted that Luka wasn't going to be here but he understands the situation. He even cried a little when I told him; he spoke to Cat once when she rang for Luka and he liked her.

Luka's been out there nearly 6 weeks now and it's been really weird. His scent isn't on the pillows anymore; his aftershave is different from the bottle instead of on him.

I have a little surprise for Luka when he finally gets home too.

"Mom, can I have a cookie?"

"Just one, can you come and help me do this tinsel?" He grabs a cookie and trudges over. Finally we fix it so the tinsel stays up and I smile. The lights are twinkling in the window and all around the room and even Alex has to smile as the snow starts.

The doorbell rings and I open the door. Susan stands grinning on the other side, holding Cosmo with Chuck just behind.

"Hiya!" She says, coming in as I hold open the door. I take all their coats and get them some drinks. The bell goes again and Alex gets it, letting Abby in, then Carter, Neela, Michael and finally Greg. Luckily the living room has recently been moved around so there is more space in the middle and I waltz around and chat with everyone. I'm so glad I arranged this 'party' because it takes my mind off Luka… until someone mentions him again.

Alex spends quite a while entertaining Cosmo with lego and wrapping paper until the baby falls asleep and I feel really proud of him.

Slowly people excuse themselves until it's just me and Abby left. We both sip our orange juice and sit down for a girly chat. Alex says goodnight and disappears into his room, comes out to tell me he's had his insulin then goes back in.

"Is he mad Luka isn't home for Christmas?" Abby asks

"Sort of- to begin with he was but then I explained everything about Mr Kovac and Dmitri and Cat, so he understood and he wasn't so annoyed." Abby nods. "It's hard though, I mean, we both promised him Luka would spend this Christmas here and Alex was so excited."

We carry on chatting for a while before Abby looks at her watch and squeaks.

"12.03! I'm so sorry Sam, I best be off."

"Have a nice Christmas…"

"…Working." She says, smiling. She hugs me and we say goodbye. Sleepily I get ready for bed and finally flop under the covers.

23th December

"Oh, oh Mom! It's Christmas Eve tomorrow!" Alex bounces into the room and throws himself onto the bed.

I laugh and ruffle his hair, yawning.

We get up slowly, I have a bath and Alex makes pancakes. We briefly go out for rubber gloves and butter but we mostly stay indoors, watching bad telly and eating. Alex beats me at playstation six times and says I'm a sore loser, I make him watch the first 20 minutes of 'Sound of music' and he hides under the sofa. When the door bell rings for the first time today, I have a tea towel on my head and Alex is brandishing a soup ladle, ready for war.

"Al, hold on a sec." I pull the tea towel off and open the door whilst throwing it into the kitchen. When I turn round I can only squeak.

Luka smiles softly and leans on the doorpost.

"Hi." He says simply. I squeak again, then cough and break into a grin. I throw my arms round his neck and he lifts me off the floor in a hug I've been dreaming of for 6 weeks. I bury my nose in his neck and breathe in his scent, crazily aware of arms round my waist, his cheek on mine.

"Sorry I didn't call, I wanted to surprise you." He says, placing me on the floor again, but keeping hold of my hand. I draw him through the door and smile.

"Well you managed that." I look him up and down and notice he's changed. His face looks different, sadder and his hair is longer and scruffier than usual.

"This is Jakob…" A tall, lean boy steps into the apartment looking nervous. "Jak, this is Sam." He holds out a hand and I smile and shake it.

"Hey Alex, come meet Jakob." Al appears and sidles up to everyone. He grins at Luka and high fives him then high fives Jakob and without a second thought or any communication pulls him into the living room.

"…This is Lilia…" a solemn little girl smiles and pushes her hair out her eyes. I squat down and smile at her.

"Hiya, I'm Sam. Does your hair annoy you?" Lilia nods. "I'll cut you a fringe later."

"Will you cut me a fringe?" a lighter haired girl comes over and leans on my knee.

"Sure I will. Are you Leioa?" She nods. "I spoke to you on the phone didn't I?" She nods again.

"They've had some English lessons when they found out about coming over here." Luka says pulling in the bags from outside and shutting the door. Lilia quickly grabs a large purple Barbie suitcase and clings to it. Luka says something in Croatian but stops half way.

"Sorry, I have to try and speak English with them. Lilia, I need to put the suitcase away."

"No, mine."

"Lilia!"

"No!" she begins to scream and Leioa looks at me and starts to cry. I pick Leioa up and put her on the sofa then pick up Lilia and carry her and put her on the sofa too. Sitting down I put an arm round each of the girls and start telling a story about two princesses in a castle. I know they probably don't understand over half the words but they both stop crying and shortly, they fall asleep.

"Thanks Sam. I think they're sick of me now, the flight wasn't without its hitches and I'm so tired I kept snapping."

"No problem. They're all tired too, they're in a new country and now they're living in a new house. It's bound to be a bit tough for a while."

"I wouldn't blame you if you wanted to move out, I mean…with the 3 of them suddenly…" I stand up gently and put a finger on his lips.

"Shush, now of course I'm not moving out. I have a kid of my own, I can handle noise and tantrums and stuff. Anyway, these kids need a stable home to settle in to. So, I'll put these two in the spare room and show Jakob where his bed is." I reach up and plant a kiss on his lips, realising I hadn't kissed him hello until then. He returns the kiss and we only stop when Jak makes gagging noises. I laugh and kiss Luka one more time before gently picking up Lilia. She wriggles then sighs and falls back asleep, as I carry her to the newly decorated 'girls' room.

"Wow, Sam. You painted!" Luka appears behind me, holding Leioa, who is now awake. She watches me as her thumb moves to her mouth, waiting for me to berate her but I just smile.

"Yeah, I thought the girls deserved a pretty room after the move." I lower Lilia onto the little white bed and try to wake her up gently so she can get into her pyjamas. Once she's in the flannel sleep suit I pull the daisy print duvet up to her chin and after a second of thought, place a tiny kiss on her forehead. She smiles sleepily and closes her eyes and I admire the way her eyelashes lay so delicately on her cheeks.

Leioa trails over to me, naked apart from a pair of pants.

"Uncle Luka has cold hands." She says simply. I laugh quietly and pull her onto my lap, making sure my hands are warm. She is easier to change because she's awake and I repeat my actions once she's in her sleep suit. When I bend to kiss her she sleepily reaches up and pats my cheek.

"Pretty." She whispers and settles into sleep.

"Yes, Sammy's gorgeous isn't she?" Luka says, wrapping his arms round my waist. I swat at him gently and he lays his chin on my shoulder.

"They seem so…normal. I wouldn't have guessed all these things had happened to them."

"You should have seen them these last few weeks. Jak had nightmares every night, he couldn't go to school. He said he felt guilty he'd survived. I knew what he meant and it was horrible. These two are maybe a little young to totally understand- Leioa still asks for her mama sometimes, and Lilia asks why she can hear her mama singing but whenever she tries to hug her, she's not there." I cover my mouth with my hand.

"That's so sad." He nods.

"But, last night was the second night they've slept straight through."

"So you think they're…coming to terms with it?"

"Yes. They'll never forget them- I have to make sure they don't. The girls especially, they're so young it would be easy for them to forget what Cat and Dmi looked like, and if that happened I couldn't forgive myself." He sounds the most serious I've ever heard him speak and I remember he has lost them too.

"Are you okay?" He doesn't answer and I turn round in his embrace. "Luka, please talk to me." He takes a deep breath and speaks.

"I went over there knowing my father was dying, I had come to terms with that quickly. I watched him deteriorate but my sadness was tinged with pity for his suffering. When I heard they'd been in a crash I was…shocked, scared-every possible scenario ran through my head. But I didn't once expect to be told my brother had died and the rest of them were in possible danger." He shook his head. "It was horrible. I prayed for the first time in eight years, pleaded with whoever lives up there to save them. Then I got the news Cat was gone and my father had passed with no-one by his side and I felt like I had let them all down. Cat, for never telling her what she meant to me, my tata for not being there when he died like I promised, and these kids for leaving them without parents."

"It wasn't your fault."

"It felt like it was though."

"Luka, listen to me. You've saved these kids-you could have left them there with Cat's parents. But you didn't. You brought them to a home with a loving Uncle, you kept them together as brother and sisters." I hold his face in my hands. "You gave them a life over here."

He drops his head and I kiss his forehead softly.

"Now come on, let's leave them to sleep." Luka nods and follows me out of the room. The boys are still hooked up to the playstation so we leave them for a while; it is Christmas Eve after all. Luka makes us both a hot chocolate and we sit on the sofa, just watching each other and the boys playing the game til they practically fall asleep still zapping zombies and I settle them into bed. Jakob seems to like his new bed and even hugs me a little for letting him live here. I just laugh and ruffle his dark hair but I'm touched.

"They're all fast asleep. I checked the girls again and they're fine."

"Good. Oh Sam, it's so good to see you." I walk over and wrap my arms around his neck. He pulls me into his lap and lowers his lips to mine as a shiver runs up my spine. His hands start their tour of my body as I run my fingers through his hair and absorb everything I missed about him- his smell, the feel of his lips, the sexy stubble and the shape of his jaw. I missed everything that makes him mine.

Gently he stands and carries me into our bedroom. Laying me on the bed he lays down next to me, kissing and teasing and removing items of clothes.

Afterwards, as we lie tangled up in the sheets I bury my head in his chest and listen to his heart. He glides a thumb up and down my spine while the other one is around my waist. I move so there are no gaps between us, we are moulded together skin-to-skin.

"You're beautiful." He murmurs sleepily.

"Shut up." I whisper, giggling.

"You are. I missed you so much."

"I missed you too. This house is creepy when you're alone."

"I know- I've lived here alone for 3 years." He laughs so lightly I only hear it through his chest. "But I never want to spend another day here alone."

"Sorry to break it to ya, but I do have to go to work. You might be alone for a few hours sometimes."

"I think I can handle that." He kisses the top of my head and sighs. "Can I go to sleep now?"

"Yeah, go for it. See you in the morning." Within minutes his breathing is settled and he's asleep. I snuggle into him and pull up the cover, feeling the chill in the air suddenly.

I'll tell him tomorrow.