Part Two
It had been a long, exhausting day, what with her argument with William, hearing more about the baby who had died, and two emergency surgeries on newborns with heart problems, one of which tragically was unsuccessful. The only good part of the day was that she had successfully avoided any more meetings with William. As Catherine stumbled out of the hospital into the dark night, heartsick and hoping vaguely to find a taxi since she hadn't had time to track down her SUV, a figure detached itself from the shadows and took her arm. It was Robert. Catherine stared at him mutely.
"Hello, darling," he said, softly, his concerned gaze travelling over her face. "Looks like you had a tough day."
"Hello, Robert." she tried to smile, but it was wavery. "Yes, it was hard ..." her voice trailed away.
He took hold of the edges of her winter coat, which, as usual, were flapping in the cold wind. "You should do up your coat BEFORE going outside, you know! Didn't your mother teach you anything?" Carefully he did up the buttons, and Catherine remained motionless as he drew her closer and, his lips at her ear, said in a low, seductive voice, his hands warm on her shoulders, "Let me take you back to the cabin, and you'll be fixed up in no time. I know just how to help you relax."
Catherine trembled, agonizing over whether or not she should go with him. Oh, she wanted to, there was no question about that, but SHOULD she ...? Then William was walking past them, his accusing look burning into her, although he didn't say a word. Catherine watched him until he disappeared, then looked back at Robert. "Oh, Robert, I ... I ..."
"Please?' Robert spoke humbly. It was a definite change from his chauvinistic, curmudgeon attitude of last month! "We can even stop at Murray's to eat on the way. I won't subject you to my macaroni and cheese!"
"Well ..." She wavered.
Robert frowned then. "Maybe you should just quit your job if it's so exhausting. I can afford to keep you. You don't need to work."
Her weariness momentarily forgotten, Catherine stared at him incredulously. "Quit? But I WANT to work! I love it! It was just an especially hard day today. I don't need to retire for a long time yet!"
"Look at you, you're exhausted! It's a thankless job most of the time, you told me that last night. So just quit! Tell them you have a better job offer!"
"And what might that be?"
"My wife."
A silence fell. Then Catherine asked carefully, "Are you asking me to marry you, Robert?"
"Are you saying you WON'T marry me? After last night ... and the way we were together?"
"Marriage is much more than sex," she said, bluntly.
"Well, you're one always going on about your duties and responsibilities. If we were married, I would be your duty and responsibility!"
"Don't be ridiculous," she scoffed, unable to believe he was actually asking her to quit her job, and refusing to believe he was serious about marriage. They hardly knew each other! Well, she amended to herself, blushing faintly, they had gone a long way towards learning about one another's bodies over the twenty-four hour period yesterday! Obviously, however, they had more to learn about each other's minds!
Robert scowled at her. "Ridiculous, am I? Funny how things change! You didn't appear to find me ridiculous last night when I was kissing you, and you were begging me to..."
"How DARE you?" her hand flashed out, not wanting him to finish his sentence. She had heard more than enough along those lines from William earlier. MEN!
Robert caught her hand before it struck his face, and glared at her. "Can't do without violence, Doctor?" he taunted her. "Maybe yesterday you just wanted a good time and to hell with everything else? Like a lot of other widows, now that you've been momentarily satisfied, you don't need me anymore! Is that it?"
"Robert!" she gasped, pain knifing through her. He couldn't believe that about her ... could he? How could he SAY something like that to her? Maybe she didn't know him as well as she had thought she did!
"The worst of it is, I STILL am ready to do anything for you!" Without warning, Robert was kissing her – hard, punishing kisses.
For a moment Catherine resisted and struggled for freedom, but then her desire for him won out, and she entwined her arms around his neck and gave herself to him fully. She DID know him ... he couldn't possibly believe that she had just been using him! The instant she kissed him back, his lips gentled.
Then he was brokenly apologizing between deep, drugging kisses. "God, Catherine, I'm sorry. I'm so, so sorry. I should never have done or said such a thing. I don't believe it for a moment. I've been out of my mind today, just thinking about you, dreaming about you, longing to be with you. Catherine, I love you. I want you for my wife, so that the entire world knows I love you. Please, Catherine ... love me, too. That's all I'm asking. Love me. Marry me. Please, Catherine ..."
"Oh, Robert ..." Catherine sighed, disengaging herself at last. She didn't want to even think about why he had spoken as he had. Maybe his daughters had been talking to him the way William had talked to her? At any rate, she was not feeling up to dealing with the situation tonight. "I'm tired, and tonight is just not a good time for a discussion like this ... OR a fight!"
"I'm sorry again. I don't know why we are fighting! It's ridiculous! I don't want to fight with you, Catherine. I'd far rather make love to you."
When he attempted to kiss her again, she evaded him, saying softly, "Please, Robert, don't. Listen, my vehicle has been towed away, so could I ask you to take me home?"
"Home to the cabin?" he asked hopefully. "The hot tub is ready ... you know how relaxed that made us yesterday!"
"Home to MY house. Robert, really, this ... relationship ... is moving too fast for me! Yes, the time we spent at the cabin, and in the hot tub, was WONDERFUL, don't get me wrong! I admit I have missed, well, intimacy ... but ... I need time to THINK, and we need to talk!"
"How about if I promise that tonight we will just talk, and no sex? REALLY!" Robert asked bluntly, a pleading look on his face.
"While we're in the hot tub?" Catherine raised an elegant eyebrow. "Really just talk?"
He grinned sheepishly. "I might be able to do it ... If you insist ... although it's much more fun to leave the talking and fool around first ..."
"Exactly. Which is why I shouldn't come. Maybe we should talk over the phone if we can't keep our hands off each other!"
He trailed a finger down her cheek. "I like touching you. And there are still so many ways I want to touch you, Catherine. So many, many ways ..."
Catherine closed her eyes for a moment, fighting her strong urge to give in to him, to go with him for another night ... for another week ... another year ... forever!
He begged softly, "Catherine, please ..."
"Robert, I am sweaty, tired and very cranky ..." she warned him, staring at him and willing him to understand her reluctance.
"Sounds sexy to me," he grinned unrepentantly.
"I just want to shower and ..."
"I could wash your back!" he broke in again.
"I want to shower ALONE! In my own house. Please?" her voice was small for the last word, and he suddenly realized she was serious.
"God, Catherine, what am I thinking? Of course I'll take you home, if you insist. Contrary to my behaviour yesterday, I am not an insatiable sex maniac!"
"And that's another reason we have to talk ..."
"You think I AM a sex maniac?" he questioned. Seeing her expression, he held up his hands in surrender. "All right, all right. I'll take you home. YOUR home. And leave you there. Alone. But I just want to register my complaint. I'd rather not follow your wishes. Oh, and I should tender the verbal invitation I've been sent to give you, before I forget. Lori wants you to come for New Year's Eve. It'll just be family."
"She asked especially for me to come?" Catherine asked, surprised.
He shrugged. "I might have suggested it and she agreed," he said carelessly. "Same thing."
Oh dear. Catherine was afraid of that. "I might have to work, since I had Christmas Day off. We'll see," she said diplomatically. She knew she was off duty, but it was a good way to stall until she thought of a better excuse. If necessary, she just might trade with whoever was on call that night, and she WOULD work!
Robert grinned. "I hope you don't mean 'no' the way Mary Beth always meant when she said 'we'll see' to the girls!"
Mercifully, at that point they reached his truck and Catherine didn't have to answer.
Once in the truck, the warmth, the comfortable seat and the soft music, from the CD which she vaguely recognized as being the one she had played for him the first time they had met, all conspired to send Catherine into a deep sleep. She was unaware of the fact that Robert drove a couple of times around the block, then sat in the truck with her in her driveway for almost an hour before attempting to awaken her.
She was having wonderful dreams about being with Robert at the cabin, and when she felt light kisses on her face and his voice murmuring, "Wake up, Sleeping Beauty", she opened her eyes languidly and smiled softly at him. "Mmmm, Robert ..."
His lips feathered across her cheek and she turned slightly to make access to her mouth easier. Their kisses deepened, the spark of desire fanned to hot flame once again. Their breathing quickened to gasps and pants. Suddenly a light came on outside and confusedly they broke apart. The truck windows were all steamed up, and it was the porch light that was casting a bright light.
"Don't tell me your father is in there, turning the light on to tell you that you've spent too long out here!" Robert stared at her, looking faintly and boyishly guilty.
Catherine's breathing slowed enough for her to say, "The porch light is on a timer and comes on automatically."
"You know, it has been a long time since I necked with my girl in the car or on the porch until her father had to turn on the light to warn me off!"
"Thank you for the ride home," Catherine said, smoothing her hand down his cheek. "I have to go in."
"I'll call you tomorrow," he promised, and she nodded briefly before getting out of the truck. She opened the front door, then turned and watched as he backed away, blinking the lights before heading off down the street.
Closing and locking the door behind herself, Catherine leaned against it for a moment, trying to get a feel of the house again. It seemed so long since she had been here! After hanging up her coat, she went to check her messages, but the only ones were from the emergency calls the night before which William had told her about. Catherine grimaced at the thought of her colleague. Her vague, previously unacknowledged distrust of him had crystalized today. Now she remembered that Tom had teased her once about William liking her 'that' way. She had forgotten the remark, probably deliberately, because Marina was a very good friend. Well, maybe she was wrong. She was overwrought and tired after having had very little sleep for a long time. Maybe she had read far more into William's words and actions than were really there. She certainly hoped so. William and Marina had been her strength and support for the first few months following Tom's death. She hated to think that had changed because of Robert.
After a hot shower, Catherine collapsed into bed, thinking she would go right to sleep – but that didn't happen. Somehow, she didn't seem to FIT in the bed. It was too big, too empty. Oh, it was comfortable enough, and wasn't lumpy and narrow like the couch last night ... but there was no Robert beside her. Robert's kisses came to mind, and she vividly remembered the night before which she had spent in his arms... Catherine rolled over and thumped her pillow. "It's lust!" she said out loud, defiantly. "I can't possibly be in love with him! It's much too soon!"
On the other hand, what if it wasn't too soon? What if it wasn't a simple case of lust between them? What if their love was real? It certainly wasn't beyond the realm of possibility! If she were to agree to marry him, what would his children think? Their mother had been gone only a month! How could she and Robert ask them to accept her when, even if she wasn't trying to replace their mother in their hearts, Catherine certainly was replacing her in their father's bed!
Getting up, Catherine made her way to the kitchen to heat some milk in the microwave. Maybe some hot chocolate would relax her enough to sleep. Waiting for it to warm, she wandered into the living room and trailed her fingers over the few pictures of Tom she still had out. Dear Tom. What would HE think about this ... mess, for want of a better word? Somehow, Catherine just KNEW that Tom would be happy for her to have found love again. He had said as much, in those long, final months of his illness. She had scoffed at him at the time, and, until meeting Robert, had had no intentions of ever falling in love again. She sank into a chair, staring at the picture of Tom she held in her hand, remembering ... After a long time of tumbled but lovely memories, Catherine realized she was simply too exhausted to think any more.
She went back to bed, and, after tossing and turning for another hour, remembered the milk she had put in the microwave. She couldn't even make herself a hot chocolate without trouble! Deciding it wasn't worth getting up for, and hoping she would remember to take it out of there in the morning, Catherine again thumped the pillow and determinedly shut her eyes ... at last falling into an uneasy sleep.
To Be Continued