Disclaimer: None of the people, places, or things surrounding Hogwarts and the Wizarding world are my creation; they belong to the wonderful Ms. Jo Rowling.
A/N: All right, we're moving on to something less dramatic and angsty and more substantial. However, I am apologizing in advance because there isn't really any direct Ron--Hermione interaction, as it's setting things up for the next (revealing) installment.
DCoD: Thank you for that compliment--how "real" the last chapter seemed. I really tried to tap into Ron and Hermione's deeper emotions...especially poor Ron, even though Hermione did most of the talking. I feel so bad for Ron in the books sometimes, because he's portrayed to be this bottomless pit of nothing but food and jokes. He does have feelings, and I really wanted to show that.
Machiavelli Jr: "Let nothing happen tomorrow" indeed. However, I think that Harry, of all people, would be the one to pray about that every night. But I also understand what you're saying. Poor Ron, yes I understand that, but in the end, all the drama will be worth it. Thanks for the comment!
Phillyactress: I loved your idea for this chapter, I truly did, and I'm so upset that I didn't think of it sooner. However, the order of events wouldn't match up if I'd put in something about the Transfiguration class. It happened before the party, and Ch. 5 took place after the party. It is still such a wonderful idea, though. And I promise that after I'm finished with this story, you might just see a one shot featuring it. And don't worry,read ahead forlots moreHarry! I didn't forget about him.:-)
hogwartsgirl52: Plain and simple, to the point. I loved it!
Azu Luna: Thank you so much! Of course I don't want you to die, but I love that the last chapter gave you such an intense reaction.
suckr4romance: Yes, Ron had truly be a dimwit sometimes. If he would just talk to Hermione, rather than snogging Lavender, he wouldn't be in the mess he's in now.
RonMione4eva: I read your new fic...it's beautiful and so true. You're so talented:-D And thank you once again for your compliments: yes, we know Hermione didn't mean what she said...read on for proof!
CurlsofGold: I try so hard to make the conversations true to canon. To me, dialogue is the most important part of a fic, so it's vital to stay true to Ms. Rowling's style. I also adore Missing Moments, and HBP is my favorite book...because there's so much room for wonderfully fluffy moments. Thanks bunches!
sam250505: Lol, thank you for the explanation of English vs. British. I'm still a little confused, but seeing as I'm American, and well, just American, I probably can't understand it anyway. Hmm, it's still fascinating, though. Anyway, thanks for you compliments, they mean so much to me. What do you love most about the Ron-Hermione relationship? (Just curious!)
fernie172: I only hope that you're enjoying my story as much as I'm enjoying yours! I love reading fics by talented authors who actually try to stick to canon. The last chapter made me a little sad, I must confess, but I wrote it after one of the most horrible weeks I've ever had. So Hermione's thoughts and emotions were pretty close to what I was feeling.
legolascrazy17: My favorite reviewer! Yay:-D Yes, I agree with you--if written well, the "tension" can be strung out for ages, but the only story I've ever read (and liked) that was that long is Noterwoman's "My One and Only." (Check it out if you haven't already...it's amazing!) However, I can promise that there will not be twenty more chapters of this story. I just don't think there's enough space in my plot line for that many. Maybe...just maybe, if you're lucky, I'll write a post-HBP fic that will more epic (hint hint!). Yes, this chapter was very bittersweet, that was my intention. I really wanted to get Ron and Hermione speaking again, if only for a little while, but they obviously couldn't have all their problems solved. Regrets, yes I would say Ron is most assuredly having regrets. I can't wait to write the get-together-kiss between the two. Cheers, Sugarquill
Chapter 6: Contemptuous Looks
As time went on, Hermione was slowly starting to heal, just as she'd told herself she would months ago. Lavender and Ron were still together, though if anyone asked what they "talked about," for all those hours they were alone, Hermione had to resist the urge to either scream in frustration, or slap something, a violent tendency she had never had before. She knew that talking was the last thing Ron would ever think to do with Lavender; he'd said as much the last time they'd had a somewhat civilized conversation.
Though that wasn't to say that she hadn't tried, Hermione reassured herself. True, she had told Ron that they should simply go back to being acquaintances and fellow Prefects, but that didn't mean they had to cease any other contact completely. Ron, however, was not being cooperative in that respect. Whenever they had to do patrol together, she made an effort to talk about something…anything, but Ron would simply walk faster to avoid her, or hurriedly change the subject.
It was making her furious.
"And then he just walked away. Completely inconsiderate," she said to Harry one day in late February. Harry had asked if he could talk to her after breakfast, and she had reluctantly said yes, hoping that Ron didn't encounter them. She felt horrible for Harry, she truly did, but he had yet to side with either Ron or herself.
"Hermione, can't you just focus?" he asked wearily. "Horcruxes, remember?"
Hermione's head snapped up and her eyes took on a flashing gleam, and she took a deep breath. Becoming annoyed with Harry was not going to solve her problems. Put Ron in the back of your mind for one minute, she told herself firmly.
"I am focused," she retorted. "I said I would look into them, didn't I? But they must be really advanced Dark Magic, or why would Voldemort have wanted to know about them? I think it's going to be difficult to get the information, Harry, you'll be to have very careful about how you approach Slughorn, think out a strategy…"
"Ron reckons I should just hang back after Potions this afternoon…"
"Oh, well, if Won-Won thinks that, you'd better do it," Hermione said angrily, not being able to control her temper. Any mention of Ron these days was bound to set her off. And the fact that he apparently had a new nickname only made matters worse.
Across from her, Harry sighed, running his fingers through his hair. "Hermione, can't you—"
"No!" she yelled, throwing up her hands in frustration and storming away. Harry remained standing behind her in the deep snow, but she couldn't make herself turn around.
Moments later, however, she felt someone's hand at her elbow. Turning around, she heaved a sigh. "Harry, you don't understand. It's—it's hard, you know?"
Harry stared back at her with understanding in his eyes. "Hermione…do you want to talk?"
She instantly felt bad. Harry had so much going on in his life right now; figuring out the mystery of the Horcrux was only the beginning of his anxiety. And here she was, flaring up whenever Ron's name was mentioned.
"Harry, I'm sorry for yelling at you like that. None of this is your fault."
"True, but I can sympathize. Ron can be a right foul git sometimes. We all know this." Harry shrugged and Hermione couldn't stifle her small giggle. "It's just something that we all accept about him," he added.
"I know, but…oh, he's just so frustrating!" Hermione groaned, pulling on her mittened hand. The mittens were too large for her, and she often pulled at them without thinking. "Honestly, who could actually tolerate being called Won-Won?"
Harry snorted. "Not Ron, that's for sure." Hermione raised an eyebrow, and he rolled his eyes. "Oh, come on, Hermione, you don't actually think Ron likes that ruddy nickname. It's just something Lavender came up with, and, well, Ron's not the brightest bloke all time. He just doesn't know to tell her to stop."
"Yet he'll carry on snogging her as if there's not a problem," Hermione growled.
"You know, if you went up to him and started talking like nothing had happened—"
"Oh, Harry, you know I can't do that," she broke in witheringly.
He held up hand. "Let me finish," he said with an authoritative air, and Hermione wisely shut her mouth.
"Hermione, all you ever talk about these days is Ron and how angry you are at him."
"I AM angry at him."
"I'm sure it is, but I think there's more to it than that. You miss him." Harry peered at her closely, and Hermione decided that for the moment, honesty was the best way to go.
"I…I do," she answered quietly and reluctantly, not able to meet Harry's eyes.
"And that's why you should start talking to him….civilly. Why can't you put all that's happened behind you and—"
"He's snogging my roommate!"
Harry put up his hands in mock surrender. "It's not as if he really likes her or anything!"
"Then why is he with her!"
They had been reduced to screaming at each other, as well, Hermione noted somewhere at the back of her mind. They weren't actually fighting; each one was simply trying to make a point.
"I DON'T KNOW!" Harry roared, then immediately shrunk back in surprise.
Hermione was equally shocked. "Wait…why are we yelling?"
"I have no idea," Harry chuckled and Hermione joined in. Soon, both were doubled over with laughter, neither exactly sure what they were laughing about.
It felt good, Hermione realized. Laughing. Being happy, if even for a moment. She honestly couldn't remember the last time she'd really, truly laughed.
"Thank you, Harry," she said seriously. He looked over at her with a welcoming smile.
"Anytime."
The two lapsed into silence as they walked the cold grounds of Hogwarts, heading slowly towards the entrance. "Um, Hermione?" Harry asked after a few quiet seconds.
She had a feeling something serious was coming. "Yes?" she asked warily.
Harry took a deep breath before continuing. "Look, I know you're still upset with Ron. I understand why; Lavender certainly is one of his…well, not his best choice, we'll say."
Hermione snorted unkindly. That's putting it mildly, she thought.
"But that's not all of it. He's really been surly for weeks, Hermione. The other day, he nearly yelled his head off at Neville because Neville had forgotten to put his shoes under his bed the night before. And don't even get me started about Lavender."
Hermione couldn't help it. Her ears perked up and she smiled softly, her face turning faintly pink. "What's that?"
At that moment, Harry was glad that Hermione—as smart as she was in other respects—couldn't read minds. How can they both possibly not see it?
"He snaps whenever anybody mentions her name," he said. "And lately, he never seems happy to be with her. Well, not that he ever was… But you know what I mean. I'm not even sure if the…er, that is…"
"The snogging?" Hermione put in helpfully with fiendish glee. Isn't this good—I mean, interesting—news.
Harry coughed. Now the conversation was becoming a bit uncomfortable. "Yes, that." He cleared his throat. "Look, just keep what I said in mind, Hermione. Ron doesn't hate you, and I know that you don't hate him. We're—we're heading into some hard times; I can feel it. Not having your friends by your side is something that we can't chance right now."
With that, he turned and walked ahead towards the entrance to the castle, leaving Hermione to stand alone in the snow, puzzling over what he'd just said.
The morning of Ron's birthday dawned cloudy, and rain drizzled outside the windows of the Common Room, where Hermione was curled up in one of the large chairs. Try as she might, she couldn't force herself not to listen for any noise coming from the boys' dormitory. Was Ron having a good birthday so far? Though she'd more or less told him outright that they couldn't be friends anymore, she still felt immensely guilty that she hadn't gotten him a gift.
Well, that wasn't completely true. Hermione stared down at the card in her hands. She'd purchased it months ago, on one of the non-cancelled trips to Hogsmeade. She hadn't planned to buy something for Ron; she'd seen the card and thought of him, planning to hide it until March, and then present it to him.
But that certainly hadn't happened. Hermione opened the card, reading what she had written soon after buying the card.
Dear Ron,
Well, you've finally made it, haven't you? An adult in the eyes of the Wizarding world. How does it feel? Imagine all the things you can do now. As soon as we graduate (only one more year!), you can get your own place, start working, build your own life.
I know that we argue constantly, but in all seriousness, I am very happy for you, and wish you all the luck in the world for the future. It has been amazing, knowing you these past years. I will never forget them.
As angry as you make me sometimes, Ron, I do want you to be happy. Nothing will ever change that.
Love always,
HermioneA tear slid down her cheek as she read over that last sentence countless times before the words began to swim in front of her. It was deeper than anything she'd ever written to Ron, and she'd been so looking forward to seeing his reaction when he read it.
"As angry as you make me sometimes, Ron, I do you want you to be happy. Nothing will ever change that," she murmured. It was still true. All that she had told Ron that night on patrol months ago had been a lie. But that still didn't stop her from feeling racked with guilt.
It's his birthday, she told herself. Maybe that was a sign that she should say something, break the silence. With shaking hands, she lifted herself from the chair, and took the first few cautious steps to the staircase leading to the boys' dormitory. However, she soon stopped short, shaking her head and turning around. She couldn't just go up there, pretending everything was fine, no matter what Harry said. This fight, well, it wasn't like their other rows. It was multifaceted, its reasons and origins more complex.
With a sigh, Hermione made her way back to her room, collapsing heavily onto her bed. He made her so angry, and while the actual words she'd said to him the last time they spoke were lies, the meaning and emotion behind them was real. She had been extremely hurt, and she truly did wonder if being friends with Ron was worth the tears and irritation.
But when she'd said she could have loved him, she had almost broken down. Because that had been the biggest lie of all. She did love him, and walking away had been the hardest thing she'd ever had to do. No, she thought, shaking her head. Walking away with nothing besides anger, bitterness, and regret between them had been the hardest thing she'd ever had to do.
She lay there, somewhat content in the silence, staring into space and wondering (still) how Ron's day was going. Suddenly, however, the quiet was broken by a lighthearted giggle, and Hermione groaned. The last person she wanted to see, especially today.
"Lavender, I'm trying to study—" she began.
"Oh…it's you," Lavender said at the same time, as she walked into the room. She lifted her nose in the air, her laughter subsiding. "I would have thought you'd be with Ron, congratulating him on…" She paused in mock innocence. "Oh, wait, that's right. He doesn't like you anymore."
Hermione bristled. "I don't really think that is any of your business, Lavender. It is between Ron and myself, and—"
"Well, I should think that Ron's business would be my business," Lavender interrupted haughtily. "I am his girlfriend, after all. He fancies me."
"You're the only one who thinks so," Hermione said under her breath, but unfortunately, Lavender heard her.
"What was that?" she asked, stepping menacingly towards Hermione.
Though she was a bit shocked at her uncharacteristic behavior, Hermione refused to be intimidated, rising to the challenge. Ron would be proud, she thought absently.
"You heard me."
With that, Lavender's shackles were raised. "Where do you get off?" she shrieked. "You have NO RIGHT to say things like that about me! Just because you're jealous, just because—"
"I am NOT jealous!" Hermione yelled, vaulting off the bed and coming to stand before Lavender.
"Of course you are. He used to be your best friend. Some people—idiots, I like to call them—even thought that you two fancied each other. But how wrong they were. It was going to be me all along. And now, well, you've been abandoned, haven't you, darling? Jealousy is only natural."
Hermione's eyebrows drew together. She was honestly shocked. How could a person be so stupid? Lavender truly believed that Ron liked her.
"In order to be jealous," Hermione began slowly, to make sure Lavender understood, "A person has to have something important, something of substance, to be jealous of. I'm lacking in that respect."
"Ronny's my boyfriend," Lavender snarled. "We have nicknames for each other. You don't call that something of substance?"
"Won-Won does not count as a nickname. It's vomit inducing, it is… Plus Ron hates it. If you noticed anything besides yours and Ron's faces stuck together, you'd have known that."
"So that's it. You don't like the fact that Ron wants to snog me, and not you," Lavender said, as if just discovering a secret unknown to the whole world. "You wish he wanted to kiss you, don't you?"
She was trying, honestly trying, not to do something she would regret later, but at that moment, Hermione wanted nothing more than to wipe that smirk off of Lavender's heavily made-up face. She forced herself to remain calm, and not give in to Lavender's petty bait.
"That is hardly the point."
Lavender put her hands on her hips. "Then what exactly is? You obviously have a problem with me."
"You obviously have a problem with me," Hermione replied angrily.
"Yes, as a matter of fact, I do. Ron isn't your friend any longer; he told me so himself. So stop trying to hang around him." With that, Lavender turned around as if she couldn't be bother to even fight with Hermione any longer, and rushed out of the room.
He told me so himself. Ron isn't your friend any longer. He told me so himself. The words reverberated through Hermione's mind in the silence that followed Lavender's departure. Ron truly believed that they weren't friends… Had actually talked to Lavender about it…
"What have I done?" she whispered in horror, her hands framing her mouth as her complexion paled.
She stood there, rooted to the ground. She didn't know how long she'd been there, just staring off into space; looking absently down at her watch, she noted she'd been there for a couple of hours. Realizing that standing there doing nothing was pointless, she started to make her way to the door, when suddenly, wrenched open. Ginny burst in, looking disheveled and frightened. Hermione shook herself out of her shocked state.
"Ginny, what's wrong?"
"You have to come!" Ginny grabbed Hermione's arm and dragged out the door, and down the staircase.
"Ginny, wait!" Hermione called after her. "What's happened?"
"It's Ron."
In that moment, Hermione felt her heart stop for a beat before it picked up, more rapidly than ever before. The blood drained out of her face and her hands started to shake involuntarily.
With the thought that Ron was suffering…or worse, Hermione sprinted after Ginny, fear clutching at her like a vice.
A/N: How's that for a cliffhanger? Although, I suppose you can't really consider it a cliffhanger; we all know what happened to Ron. I'm sorry I waited until the very end of the chapter before Ron was poisoned, but I felt that certain plot points needed to be established.
What did you all think of the Hermione--Lavender encounter? I wanted to put something like that in my story, and hope I did it justice. I figured that, well, the two are roommates: How would they talk about Ron while they were together?
Please continue reviewing. I love the warm thoughts and encouragement :-)