Chapter 7

It had been over a week since Cameron and Wilson had talked and come to the full awareness of their situation. The Christmas vacation meant that they hadn't seen each other since then, and today was their first day at work together since they had spoken about their feelings. Never before had Cameron been dreading going back to work. Her stomach was tied in knots. She looked blankly at herself in the mirror, the conversation with Wilson playing in her head again.

Wilson walked into the exam room and closed the door behind him. "We need to talk." He placed his hands in his lab coat pockets.

Cameron looked at him briefly before diverting her eyes from him. "Yeah," she simply stated.

Wilson nodded his head. "I talked to Chase." Cameron looked at him again briefly before looking away. "I know that he warned you about me."

Cameron let out a small laugh and rubbed a trembling hand over her face. "It was less of a warning and more of an accusation." She now looked at him truthfully, "That's also why House was here." She took a shaky breath and looked away from him, "He doesn't think we are having an affair but—"

"That we both want to." Wilson looked at her honestly.

Cameron couldn't seem to make herself speak. She let out a deflated breath and sank back onto the examination bed. She found her voice again, "Why didn't we see this?"

Wilson took a few steps closer as he spoke. "Because we both want it, and by not acknowledging what was happening we could…" he stopped, still leaving some space between them, "…simply fall into it," he said breathlessly.

"Without worrying who we hurt and what would change," she whispered.

Wilson nodded, "And he knew that," he hissed bitterly. He looked at Cameron openly and spoke up."He knew that once we realized, we would stop ourselves…" he took a breath, "…because even though my marriage wouldn't stop me, it would stop you."

"If you weren't married..." Cameron murmured with lost hope and honesty.

Wilson took his hands out of his pocket and began to step closer.

"But, he's also stopping you."

Cameron swallowed, "What?" Her eyes darted away. "Why would he stop me?" she whispered, looking back at him.

Wilson closed the gap, causing Cameron to stand straight. He wasn't predatory in his approach; his eyes conveyed his kindness. "Ok. Well lets pretend…"

"Pretend." Cameron laughed, because if she didn't laugh she'd cry.

Wilson nodded, "Yes, lets pretend that right now, I'm not married." He was now standing so close to her that her breath began to tickle across his face. "What's stopping you..." he swallowed nervously, "…from kissing me right here?"

Cameron closed her eyes and bit her bottom lip.

"What's stopping me…" He took another step closer, a mere inch between them. "…from kissing you?"

"House," she whispered.

She opened her eyes again, and they gazed at each other for a moment, sadness and regret filled their features—the longing and temptation hurt deep inside them.

Cameron was the first to break eye contact, and Wilson stepped back slightly. "He's my friend, you had feelings for him before. And maybe deep down you still do," he paused slightly. "If anything happened between us, it would change a lot of things for everyone." He stepped back again, "Especially House," he whispered with regret.

Cameron closed her eyes and let out a breath through her nose; she could still see the sorrow in Wilson's eyes that she knew mirrored her own. She opened her eyes again and looked at herself in the mirror, dread appearing on her face. House would note the shift in her relationship with Wilson and she suspected that House would be smug at what he had done. She was just wondering whether he was going to show it or not. If he did, she didn't know if she could keep herself from slapping him.

Cameron rose steadily from her chair in front of her mirror and collected her belongings for work. She made her way to her car without really paying attention.

"…he's also stopping you."

Cameron knew that she and Wilson had a loyalty to House. It was this loyalty that was in part stopping them both from a relationship. Cameron berated herself; she knew it was not loyalty that was stopping her. She knew that deep down within her she still held the hope that House may one day return her feelings, and if she were with Wilson she would perpetually lose her chance with House.

She laughed bitterly to herself as she opened her car door and got inside. She hated herself for it. Falling for a man who could give her everything she wanted and falling for a man who she may have to wait her whole life for.

Cameron started her car engine.

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Wilson killed his car engine and sat staring out into space. This would be the first time he'd been back to work since his conversation with Cameron in the exam room. In fact, Wilson had hardly spoken to anyone since then, not even House. Especially House.

"He's my friend."

He opened the door and let out a breath into the cool January air. Neither Hanukkah nor New Years had been joyful for him. Julie had noticed a big shift in his behaviour when he got home that night after his talk with Cameron, but she hadn't questioned him about it. She had just accepted it, just as she had accepted him moving out after Christmas day and telling her that he would get in touch with a lawyer and draw up the divorce papers.

"If anything happened between you and me it would change a lot of things for everyone."

He chastised himself and Cameron for their devotion to others.

"Especially House."

He laughed bitterly to himself as he entered the hospital and made his way to his office. In marriage, he had taken a vow to his wife, to all three of his wives, and he hadn't and couldn't honour any of them. But, some unknown devotion to his best friend prevented him for pursuing a woman he cared about.

"…you had feelings for him."

But also a woman who, despite everything, was still as devoted to House as he was, and who in the past had had romantic feelings for House.

"…and maybe deep down you still do."

That was what scared Wilson most of all. That Cameron could still love House. It was worse, though, that House may have feelings for Cameron. Wilson had been sure in the past that House had feelings for Cameron.

"Doctor Cameron's getting to you."

"That's why you haven't put the moves on her?"

"What makes you think I haven't put the moves on her?"

Wilson could still see the cool, hard stare House had faced him with and the vulnerability that Wilson might take away someone House cared for. It was this look that stopped Wilson now from pursuing anything with Cameron. Wilson didn't think he could do that to House, but then House may lose Cameron anyway. How long was she willing to wait for House?

"If you weren't married."

Wilson had reached his office and had removed his coat and jacket and placed himself heavily in his chair. He turned his back to the window that looked out onto the corridor and instead faced the window that looked out over the entrance of the hospital, various thoughts running through his mind.

"What's stopping you..."

"House."

"If you weren't married."

Divorce papers.

"What's stopping me…"

"House."

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House made his way to Wilson's office with caution. He hadn't seen nor heard from Wilson since the Christmas vacation. He stopped at Wilson's door and tapped lightly as he opened it and poked his head in.

"Mind if I come in?"

Wilson was alone and looked up from his desk, "Looks to me like you're already in." He looked back at his paperwork.

House pushed the door open and stepped inside closing the door behind him. He placed his cane in front of him and leaned heavily on it. He pursed his lips, "Didn't see you much over the holidays. Thought you might have come round after Christmas."

Wilson looked up at House and tilted his head sideways, "Awe you miss me?"

House stepped forward and sat down, ignoring Wilson's imitation of himself. "I know your mother in-law was over for Christmas Day, but normally when your celebration is over you come round to mine." He picked up the stress ball that was on Wilson's desk and started playing with it.

"Yeah, well, I felt like spending the holidays by myself." He eyed House playing with the stress ball, "You know, actually have a break for once."

House looked at Wilson with mock hurt, "You saying that being friends with me is like work?" He pouted, "I'm hurt, Jimmy."

Wilson stopped writing and looked directly at House, "Not work, no… More like an ethical responsibility," he said frankly.

House stared silently at Wilson, nodding his head slightly. "Is that why you've stayed friends with me for so long? You feel obliged to since no one else will?"

Wilson features softened slightly, "No. It's just, we've been friends for so long that if we weren't it would be like…" He seemed to search for what he meant but House finished it for him.

"Losing a limb."

Wilson looked at House, "Yeah," then picked up his pen and got back work.

"So why didn't you come round after Christmas?"

Wilson didn't look up from his work, "Like I said, I just wanted to be alone."

House raised his eyebrows. "Alone with your wife, or alone, alone."

Wilson tensed slightly and kept working. "Alone, alone."

House covered his nervousness, "Is it permanent?"

"Yes," Wilson simply stated.

House swallowed a dry lump in his throat. He was about to speak but Wilson stopped him.

"But don't worry, it wasn't just my marriage stopping Cameron, stopping us both." He looked at House, a sadness in his eyes that he didn't allow to show in his voice, as he continued, "And you know that."

House had to look away from Wilson's sad gaze; he felt a feeling in his stomach of regret and guilt. He rose from his chair and made his way to the door. As he opened it, he stopped as if to say something. He checked himself, however. He continued out of Wilson's office and back to his own. He sat in his chair and placed his bad leg on his desk and picked up the giant ball and began to think.

He was selfish, he knew that, and he liked control. The selfish part of him didn't want to share Cameron's affections with his best friend. I don't want Cameron, and I don't want anyone else to have her either. It was just if she was with Wilson than that would mean that Cameron no longer cared for him, and for some reason he couldn't handle that.

The controlling part of him didn't want that big change. If Wilson and Cameron were together things would change a hell of a lot. Cameron would no longer care for him, and she would no longer simply be an employee (not that she was anyway), but he felt for sure it would change his relationship with Wilson and the truth was, that friendship was the only stable thing he had in his life.

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Cameron packed up to leave and snuck a brief glance into House's office as she did so. She hadn't really spoken to him much all day, and ever since he had gotten back from Wilson's office he had just sat silently in his office. He hadn't even bothered to turn the lights on when it began to get dark.

She was of two minds as to whether or not to say goodbye to House or to save herself and not bother. But as always, her polite side won out.

She opened the joining door to House's office and stood in the doorway. "Doctor House, is there anything you need before I go?"

House didn't reply, he simply sat looking into space.

"Doctor House?" she questioned again.

Still there was no reply, and Cameron stepped further into House's office. "Doctor House, is there anything you need before I go?"

House's head suddenly snapped up at Cameron, his stare intense. It unsettled Cameron a bit and she couldn't help taking a step back. "Doctor House?" she asked puzzled.

"Did you speak to Wilson today?"

Cameron swallowed nervously, "No, why?"

House took his leg off his desk and stood, taking his cane. He walked towards the window. "Ah, then you don't know the news, do you?" He looked over his shoulder as he continued, "Wilson's getting a divorce." He completely turned his body to get Cameron's reaction, he needed to know her reaction to this.

Cameron smiled and laughed, shaking her head, "You're lying."

House tilted his head intrigued, "Why would I lie about that?"

Cameron's mouth was slightly agape, but soon her features became suspicious. "You want to see my reaction."

House lifted his chin upwards slightly and began to step closer. "And why would that be?"

Cameron couldn't help but take a step back. His movement was somewhat predatory and it unnerved her slightly, yet she didn't walk away. She crossed her arms over her chest and let out an exhausted breath. "Because you know that nothing would happen between me and Wilson while he's still married and…" she hesitated slightly, she couldn't tell the half-truth; not if she wanted this out of the way. "…that nothing would happen between me and him because of you, and if one of those obstacles are removed, then that means it's just you stopping us, and that worries you. "

House was surprised by her honesty, but years of practice meant he was able to hide it. "And am I still an obstacle?" His stomach twisted as he asked, waiting for the answer he wanted—needed—from her.

Cameron looked House squarely in the eye, she spoke crisply and calmly. "I don't know," she watched House carefully and she noted a slight widening of his eyes and his grip on his cane tightening as he put his weight on it a bit more. She didn't wait for his reply, so she turned slowly on her heel, maintaining eye contact for as long as possible before she strode out of his office and down the hallway. It wasn't until the elevator doors closed that her body sank with the weight of the information.

"Wilson's getting a divorce."

She remembered once again her conversation with Wilson.

"…lets pretend that right now I'm not married. What's stopping you?"

"House."

But, was he stopping her?