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Glorfindel sat in a secluded spot in the gardens, desperately trying to calm his restless soul. He sighed heavily and brought one leg up to his chest, lazily resting his wrist on his knee. His eyes were tired and his face was pale, but he could not sleep, hence the reason for his late night vigil in the gardens.
He closed his eyes as he heard the almost silent crunch of fallen leaves beneath somebody's feet. He withheld a gasp and kept his eyes closed as the familiar and once welcome fragrance of a perfume engulfed him. He opened his eyes but kept his gaze to the ground, letting his eyes slowly wander from the black boots and the long black cloak to the face which he had once thought he could love and the eyes he had once seen the stars through.
"What are you doing here?"
His voice was colder than he had meant it to be yet he did not apologize. As he looked at her the feelings that he tried to bury returned and he found his heart yielding to her. He heard her sigh heavily and she sat before him. Her eyes searched his and within them she found the love that she had so foolishly left behind. She also found anger.
"I don't know where to start Glorfindel. Everything seems to have fallen apart. I should never have left…I realize now that it was a cowards way out. I do not deserve your forgiveness or you friendship but I have to explain. Will you let me explain?"
She bit her lip as she waited patiently for his answer and he could clearly see her worry and agitation. And a small of him was glad of her pain. She had made others suffer for her actions and she had not once looked back to examine the consequences of those actions. He prolonged the moment by adjusting his tunic, unbuttoning the sleeves and loosening the high collar.
"I will listen"
His short answer was almost enough to put her off but she stood her ground, wrapping her fingers in the cool grass. She shivered and looked away from him as she took a deep breath.
"I did not take them to hurt my daughter. Well I did, I wanted to hurt her, I wanted to show her how much she had hurt me. Do you know what the love of parent if Glorfindel. It can rip you heart out in seconds and all you can do is think about them. I had no choice she didn't understand. I had to try and make her understand. I didn't mean for Eleni to be hurt that was an accident. And I didn't mean to hurt you"
His head snapped up and a snide smile slid across his lips. His eyes were blazing and she was taken aback by the sudden show of hostility, though some part of her had expected it.
"And now is the time that you choose to give you explanation Kaitlin. Do you think Thalia will gladly sit and talk with you over tea? And I dread to think what Legolas will say. They have just lost a child Kaitlin. They are angry and in pain. You have no right to be here!"
He hissed at her and as he watched the tears well up within her eyes and her chin tremble he couldn't help but curse himself for his words.
She brought her hand up and brushed her forehead before tucking a strand of hair behind her pointed ear.
"I did not expect to be welcomed with open arms, but nor did I expect your hatred. And I am truly sorry for what I have done. You must believe that if nothing else"
She sighed and removed a letter from within her cloak.
"Please give this to Thalia"
He could not refuse her request and so took the letter from her hands. Carefully concealing it in his tunic he caught her eye.
She closed her eyes against his steely gaze and stepped forward to embrace the fuming elf lord. Glorfindel fought hard against the torrent of emotions that flooded him and he managed to remain rigid in her arms. Closing his eyes for a moment he could remember the content and happy time that they had spent together. He could remember the way that they had laughed and he could remember the moment when he had fallen in love with her.
They had been sat by the river talking about something and looked at her…the light hit her golden hair making it shine and her eyes sparkled with joy as she told him about something, he hadn't been listening to what she had been saying but it didn't matter. Her lips were the colour of fresh strawberries and they begged him to taste them. He had leaned forward and holding one hand on the back of her neck he had kissed her. She had been taken by surprise but she soon returned the kiss, and just as forcefully. She had tasted sweet and her body next to his had felt so right,
As it did now. But this time it was not meant to be.
She pulled away form him, looking up at him with tears in her eyes. She ran her fingertips over his face and stepped up on her tiptoes; she closed her eyes and kissed him one last time.
He leaned into the kiss, letting his heart dictate his actions and he felt betrayed. She broke the kiss and stepped away from him.
"Goodbye Glorfindel"
he stood and watched her walk away. And he knew that he would never see her again.
-
Ardana watched with unknown sadness as an elven maiden ran out of the gardens and mounted a beautiful golden mare. The horse reared before disappearing into the inky black depths of the trees.
She shook her head, a confused expression on her face as she turned to walk the path the elleth had just exited. Her mind was at war with her heart. Everything was complicated and although she needed to know she felt selfish, after all it was not her who had just lost a child.
She coughed lightly and smoothed down her dress with shaking hands in all her nervousness as although she had already met Lord Glorfindel she was still slightly intimidated.
He was sat alone on a bench by the fountain, his gaze turned towards the stars that shone dimly above them in the night's sky.
She winced as she accidentally stepped on a twig but the elf Lord didn't seem to notice it.
"My Lord?"
She called him softly and waited for a response. He turned to her. His face was covered in a mask of calm and the power radiating from him was unnerving. It was as if he knew everything and she knew nothing. But she pushed through her nervousness and sat beside him on the bench. The stone beneath her was cold and although she did not feel the cold there was a preference to the sensation.
"You remind me of somebody"
His voice was soft as he spoke to her, a lilt held within the words that was only heard when he felt extreme emotions, but she was not to know this. It was the lilt that remained from his life in Gondolin and his first life. He had never forgotten it and every moment that he had spent there he could still clearly remember.
She nodded her head and turned her gaze toward the ground.
"My name is Ardana my Lord, daughter of Lord Olanis"
She whispered her last words but he heard her all the time. And he heard the shame in her voice. He let his expression soften and he lifted her chin to make her look at him, she had the look of a startled deer caught unawares.
"I just…I just want to know…what happened…to him…is he…dead?"
He sighed and turned to talk to her properly, reaching out a hand to steady her own which were shaking slightly.
"I cannot tell you how sorry I am to know that you have lost your father. He was not a compliant individual nor was he a pleasant elf. But the love of a father, or even the existence of a father can mean so much can it not?"
She nodded, letting the tears slip down her face.
"He was the last person I had. There is nobody left"
Her voice broke and she could hardly force the words out of her mouth. She bit her lip and closed her eyes as she tried to stop the tears.
"I understand that my father was…unwell. But I cannot help but love him"
Glorfindel nodded, understand what the young elf before he was trying to say.
"Nobody expects you to be glad of your fathers death. You have been left behind have you not? Had anybody asked of your well-being? Why did you not come to me sooner little one? I know that it is of little comfort but I believe that in his last moments your father truly understood what he had done and he asked for forgiveness"
He smiled at her, his words were not false but they were not as the harsh reality had played out.
"How?"
She sat up in her seat and looked him steadfastly in the eye. She wanted the truth, and he would give it. He took her hand in his and stroked the palm of her hand soothingly.
"He jumped. I had him at the point of my sword and yet I could not bring myself to kill him. He stepped away from me and stood by the window. He first looked down and then turned his gaze to me. He told me what had happened to his family. He asked the Valar to forgive him and jumped to his death. He knew that you were still alive but he did not know that you were still alive. If he had know I believe that his actions would have been different"
She cocked her head, a hopeful smile gracing her lips.
"In all honestly do you really think so?"
His heart sank at the hope that he had unwittingly placed in her mind yet he knew that his words would sooth her aching heart.
"I do"
A tear slipped down her cheek and she leaned across the bench to embrace him, her shyness forgotten.
"Thank you my Lord"
Without hesitation he returned the embrace, he had done the right thing. She pulled back from him, smiling her thanks. Her placed a hand on her shoulder, feeling the supposed fragility of her figure beneath the thin fabric, yet he knew that this elleth had more to her than met the eye.
"Do you love him?"
She ducked her head but nodded all the same,
"I love him my Lord. Haldir is like nobody I have ever met"
Glorfindel chuckled at the blush that was clearly visible on her cheeks in the pale moonlight.
"Lorien's Marchwarden, for all his faults and supposed trysts with many elleth, is a good elf. He had not had a lover in over three hundred years, and before that he maintained but a single lover. You are lucky to have somebody who is willing and faithful. Do not lose him Ardana"
"I will not"
She stood and bowed to him before turning her back and running back towards the palace. No doubt towards her love.
Glorfindel sighed and stood from the bench. He wished that he had told her that he loved her. But perhaps his heart would have led him into a trap. There was no comfort for her loss, times would heal him but he would never forget her. Yet it was a small pain over the loss of Eleni, his granddaughter could never be replaced and time would never heal that would. Yet he had a grandson who needed all the love he could give him. And soon eh would have a new babe to share that love with.
He knew that Thalia was not well. She suffered form nightmares, her scrams could be heard and there were nights when she would cry from the pain that she was in. the babe was hurting her but she did not complain, it was only when she was most vulnerable that she would take comfort in her husband.
Elrond had examined her and had estimated that the new babe would be with them with the next fortnight, that was two months too soon and the danger of losing both of them was too high for his liking.
Sighing heavily Glorfindel adjusted his tunic and began the walk to his chambers where some much-needed rest was awaiting him.