Disclaimer: None of the people, places, or things surrounding Hogwarts and the Wizarding world are my creation; they belong to the wonderful Ms. Jo Rowling.
A/N: Again, I am so very sorry about the slowness of this update. Things got away from me; my AP Calc grade has dropped, and like Hermione, I don't stand for grades that aren't "A's." So I've been working my arse off to get that pulled up, not to mention all the other homework teachers pile on before the winter break (one...more...week). Then, one of my best friends has been going through a rough period recently, so I've been trying to be there for her as much as possible. SO...that's why there hasn't been an update in such a long time.
Oh, and I should mention one more thing. The language in this chapter, especially at the beginning, has gotten a bit worse. However, I don't feel guilty about Ron's mouth, because he is dealing with the death of Dumbledore, as well as the impending war. His anger, I feel, is more than justified. But I am sorry if I offend anyone.
TheSingingBlob: Well, chocolate is more edible than kudos, isn't it? Thank you for your review. I loved how you commented on my writing as well as the general plot. It makes me feel happy to know that my writing is appreciated...my goal is to improve with every chapter/story I write.
Machiavelli Jr: I completely agree with your assesment of Luna. That's why I love her as a character so much. She seems weak, but her mind--though very unique--is strong and I do believe that she could kick some ass (please excuse my language).
suckr4romance: Yes, we must do our best to acknowledge our dearly beloved ship as a "sub plot." Though if you ask me, I think that all the Ron/Hermione fans in the whole world should petition Ms. Rowling for a sidekick spin-off. Or at least a real book of Missing Moments. SOMETHING...Harry always hogs the spotlight. Lol. And yes, Luna rocks my socks...I love her so much. Thank you SO much for reviewing yet again!
BEV Granger711: Voldemort WILL lose in the end. He has to. My theory is that: yes, these books have become more mature, and yes, there have been numerous plot twists (i.e. Snape Half-Blood Prince), but in the end, it is a good vs. evil story. And Harry is our hero...and the hero will win. Plus, if he does, then everyone gets to live happily ever after. You have a twin! Oh, I'm SO jealous! Lol. I want one so bad sometimes...but then again, I don't know if the world could handle someone who looks and acts like me:-)
Blonde-Titch: Alright, a hospital wing bit (sort of), just for you. I really wanted to put this in there, but I wasn't sure if it would fit, so I sort of made it fit. We all need a friend (or better yet, a boyfriend!) like Ron. I'm so blessed to have one...though at the moment, true to Ron and Hermione-form, we're not getting along too well at the moment. Oh well...I'm so glad you comented again, and I'll see you next time!
RonMione4eva: I don't mind that your computer was being screwy. I was being equally screwy in not updating forever. I am so, so sorry. I really want to apologize to you and the other faithful reviewers; I always feel like I'm letting you guys down. Yes, action is hard to write, and I didn't want to take a chance on ruining Ms. Rowling's story, so I just cut it out. (I don't much fancy battle scenes in general, anyway.) I would like to express my deepest gratitude that you mentioned that my story is like reading a published author's work. That is the utmost highest compliment any reader could ever give to me; I would love to have my writing published one day. Thank you!
Phillyactress: Luna sort of is a batty old lady...but aren't they the ones that sometimes have incredibly wise--if slightly odd--things to say? I really wanted to show Luna's wise side; I've always thought that it was there, we just never got to see it. (I figure there had to be a reason why Harry asked her to the party, besides that he felt sorry for her!) And you're right...Hermione SHOULD take Luna's advice. And she will...eventually. ;-)
All righty then...I think I got to everyone who's been reviewing for awhile. I really hope I didn't forget someone or accidentally delete a review, but just in case: THANK YOU SO MUCH TO EVERYONE! I love reading your thoughts and comments!
Chapter 13: Final Reckoning
Dumbledore dead. Gone. They would never again see him at the feast the first day of school. He wouldn't be at all the Quidditch matches, cheering on his students. Gone.
As many times as Ron tried to, he simply couldn't wrap his mind around the concept of Dumbledore being dead. It wasn't possible, surely. He'd had half a mind not to believe Harry when he'd told them all what happened in the corridor.
Bloody bastard, that Malfoy. Even now, Ron's hands involuntarily jerked every time the git's name came into his brain. Such a ruddy coward, he couldn't--couldn't even do it himself. Had to get...
"Bloody fucking hell," he whispered harshly, the disbelief, hurt and shock giving way to pure, malicious anger.
He hadn't realized he'd been about to charge at something until he felt a soft hand come to rest on his arm.
Hermione. He knew it was her without even having to look.
"Ron...you can't," she whispered, careful not to draw the attention of his family and Harry. "Not now, not here. Don't--you mustn't let it get to you."
"Not," he began loudly, but her eyes made him quiet his voice. "Not let it get to me! Hermione, what sort of talk is that? Dumbledore...he's--he's..."
Her gaze softened. "I know," she said. "I know, believe me. But anger like this is only going to make you go charging out there, ready to tear off the first Death Eater's head you see, and--"
"Yea, so, what's wrong with that?" he asked harshly. Hermione's mouth dropped open, and he rolled his eyes. "Oh, come off it, Hermione. I know that if you saw even a glimpse of Malfoy, you'd be hexing him into next century."
Hermione blushed, and despite the horrible situation they were in, Ron suddenly fought the urge to smile at her. She was so bloody obvious sometimes. "Yes, well, irregardless, we can't."
"Why the hell not!" Ron gestured to Bill, laying helplessly (though he knew his brother would kill him if he'd heard Ron say it) in the hospital bed. "Look what happened to Bill...my--my own brother!" Here, his voice trembled, and Hermione made a move towards him.
"No...just...just leave me alone, all right?" he muttered, turning and rushing out, avoiding the worried glances of his mother and Harry.
He threw open the doors of the Hospital wing, and tore off down the hallway. He took huge gulps of air and furiously wiped the tears off his cheeks. He was a man, for Merlin's sake! Real men--brave men--didn't run away and cry.
Finally, he collapsed against a wall, crouching down and resting his head between his legs. His dry, heaving sobs continued, though shamed he was to not have stopped.
When he felt arms come around him, he wasn't surprised. He knew Hermione would have followed him. Misery loves company, he thought.
"Ron, Ron, it's okay," she whispered shakily, though her arms around his shoulders spoke of nothing but strength. "Please, it's going to be all right."
He looked up then, wanting to see if her eyes relayed the same determination her words tried to. They didn't. She looked equally as unsure and terrified as he did. But even she was able to reign in her emotions, keep herself together. He suddenly felt utterly embarrassed; no one else had completely gone off their rocker.
"Oh, hell," he said, trying to stand. Her arms stayed where they were and reluctantly, he plopped back down next to her. "They're waiting," he said impatiently. "Probably wondering why I--"
"Ron, they're not wondering anything. This has been a horrible evening...I--I don't even want to think about it, honestly."
He peered curiously at her. "You don't? I've been going in ruddy circles ever since..." He gulped and closed his eyes. "Ever since Harry tol--told us." He paused shamefully. "Can't believe I lost it in there. Nobody else is sobbing."
"Didn't you hear what I just said?" Hermione asked. "We're all trying not to think about it. We're hiding, Ron, trying to deny it. But you...you're processing what's happened. Something I can't do yet."
She moved as if to allow him to stand, but he grabbed her unsteadily, bringing her into his lap. She didn't protest, instead burrowing into his neck, taking trembling breaths. He sensed her fear and uncertainty and wrapped his arms around her.
"Oh, Hermione, what if I'd lost you?" he murmured, more to himself than to her. It was a thought that had been running constantly through the back of his mind, but in light of other events, he hadn't given it extreme thought.
He felt more than heard her next words, as her face was pressed into his neck. "What if I lost you, Ron? Where would I--where would any of us--be then?"
"Come off it, Hermione. Everyone knows that it's Harry we all need to be worried about."
Suddenly Hermione sat up, and true to her old form, slapped him lightly on the shoulder. As she rolled her eyes, it was like old times. Ron was filled with a burning sense of nostalgia; why were things changing so suddenly?
He felt a familiar stinging behind his eyes and clenched his jaw, looking away from Hermione. Damned if he'd let her see him cry...again.
"Ronald, don't you dare say such things! You are just as important, if not more so, to--to this, as Harry is." She paused, as if searching for proof to back up her words. "If you continue putting yourself down--especially going into all this insanity--I'll...why, I'll...tell your mother, I will."
Ron gasped, rearing back. "You wouldn't! You know how she hates when I talk the way--the way I..."
He trailed off, but she seemed to understand what he was thinking. The two fell into silence once again. Ron's arms came around Hermione again. "I just want to stay here," he confessed into her hair. "I know it's stupid and cowardly, but...we're safe now, you know?"
"I know, Ron, believe me. I was just as anxious to get out of that hospital wing as you were. You just provided the right excuse, that's all."
He shrugged. It seemed...odd, he realized, to be sitting there, talking almost normally...after everything that had just happened. "What are we doing?" he breathed. "Sitting here, chatting, right after...after Dumble--Dumbledore..." He heaved a sigh; he couldn't even get the words out.
Hermione laid a hand on his arm. "I think he would have wanted this, Ron. Dumbledore was always proclaiming happiness and friendship. I'd like to say that he'd think we were doing him a disservice if we didn't try and keep our spirits up."
"And if that means bloody avoiding the subject?"
"Then we avoid it...for awhile, at least. Think about the good times," Hermione said matter-of-factly.
It was that decisive, so utterly Hermione look on her face that made Ron say it. He knew it was a bad idea, but honestly, it wasn't his choice. The words just came up on their own.
"I love you, Hermione."
The shock in her eyes was enough to make him want to slam his head against the wall. "Sorry, sorry. I've got to stop springing that on you, don't I?" He looked away in embarrassment.
"Damn."
For her part, Hermione didn't laugh at him, or jump up and run away. Instead, she snuggled herself closer to him, if that was even possible. "You do, don't you?" she asked quietly, a bit wonderingly. Ron peered down at her, and seeing the blunt question in her eyes, hidden beneath the apparent calm, made him answer.
" 'Course I do," he said. There, that was good. He reckoned he was getting better at this, each time he said it. In a few years, he figured he'd be able to actually look her in the eye and not blush. "I've been told I'm pretty obvious."
Hermione's face relaxed. "This feels odd, doesn't it? Sitting here in the hallway, talking about--about this, and avoiding everyone else."
The guilt started to creep up again, but Ron forced it down. "You said yourself Dumbledore would want us to be here." She nodded.
"Ron, what's going to happen?" Now. Tomorrow. In a few years. She asked the questions silently.
"I don't know, Hermione. I--I reckon none of us do. That's what makes this so scary." He paused. "But I can tell you that if I ever cross that git Malfoy EVER again..." He stopped, letting the unspoken threat lay in the air.
For once, Hermione didn't correct him, he thought because she probably felt the same way he did. "I can't imagine what Harry's going through," she mused.
Harry! Suddenly remembering their friend, and cursing himself for forgetting in the first place, Ron pulled away from Hermione. He stood, an apologetic look on his face.
"Much as I'd like to sit here forever, we have to get back," he said.
Hermione nodded reluctantly. "I know. We have to be there for him. Now...and for as long as it takes."
So we have to put this on hold. Ron read what she was saying in her eyes. He knew it was the truth. As happy as Harry would probably be for the two of them, they couldn't very well carry on with things while fighting a war. "And then?" he asked softly, almost too quiet for her to hear.
They resumed walking back towards the hospital wing. Hermione answered a few moments later. "And then...well, things will be different then, won't they? Whenever 'then' is."
Just as they reached the doors, Ron stopped, putting a hand on her arm and halting her footsteps. "I'm sorry, Hermione."
Her eyebrows drew together. "Sorry for what?"
Ron raked a hand through his hair. "Honestly, I don't rightly know. I guess for...for always telling you that I lo--love you at the wrong times."
"Don't be sorry," she said quickly. "Don't ever be sorry for telling me that. I waited for years to hear you say that, Ron."
"Then why won't you say it back?" he asked without thinking. He could have kicked himself.
Hermione seemed to shut down. She turned away and put her hand on the doorknob. "I've told you," she said. "We don't want to ruin things. And we don't know what might happen."
"But Hermione, how can it be ruining things? You just said for me not be sorry for saying it to you!" He was ready to tear his hair out in frustration.
Hermione paused, warring with her emotions. Part of her--the largest part--wanted to throw herself into his arms and tell him how much she was in love with him, but another part of her wondered if this was making everything worse.
"Don't make this harder than it is already." With that, she walked inside the hospital wing, pasting a false smile on her face. Ron followed, almost hearing his footsteps echoing on the floor. It felt like he was walking into the final judgment day.
A/N: Short, I know, but I really didn't know where else to go with it. I really wanted this scene to be in here, though, so there you have it. I know that a lot of you are probably fairly screaming at Hermione right now...and trust me, I was, too. We'll get an "I love you" out of her yet! I promise.