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First of all can I say thank you to Mademoiselle Morte for reading through this for me! Hugs and kisses

NessaThranduiliel- yes I do grins I can't help it. Thanks hunni- keep reviewin'!

SofiaB- don't we all- and I don't have a name for him yet- it up for offers

Petra- I love your reviews lol- thank you v.much- I'll take that as a compliment. Did they- hmm- that's a good name tho isn't it

Uhh- You're getting your puppy soon! I wasn't think anything but I know what you were thinking and I ddefinately wasn't think what you were thinking- got that p

Laurenke1- thanks as always- I'll try

Arwen101- thank you- I will

Hugs and kisses everybody! Please review

She screamed deafeningly as the child slid from her body and for a moment I felt my heart stop as I looked from her to the child. It was a boy. He was blue and the cord that tied him to his mother was wrapped tightly around his neck. I startled myself when the thought that we would better…that he would be better if he were already dead.

Thalia slumped in my arms but it was not out of exhaustion. Her eyes were glazed but the rings around her eyes were glowing bright blue. Through the thin silk of my tunic I felt her hot, clammy skin tightly against my own and I tired to move. But I couldn't.

'She is going to die', those words had once played around my head everyday, every time I left the room, every time I left her alone. And now I head it again as if she were screaming at me.

All of a sudden reality rushed back to me and the copper smell of my wife's blood hit me forcefully and the small cries of our newborn caught my attention. Elrond stood over him carefully rubbing his chest to make him breathe, and I wanted to stop him.

I didn't know what to do. He knew this and I was ashamed. I felt alone, like an inconvenience as I sat holding my wife's exhausted body. I wanted so much for my father to be beside me, just a small reassurance that everything was alright. That I could do it, that I could be forgiven.

'You've done this before Thranduilion. Come, clean you wife, she would not appreciate being blood stained while she speaks with the Valar"

I felt the blood drain my face despite the relief that flooded my heart. Vana had watched over us, of that there was no doubt. But my wife is no longer the meek youngling that she once was. Her suffering and her fear have made her into a formidable woman and her will to longer stand to be pacified. And she would not stand to hear words of comfort. She wants answers; I can feel her reluctance, her anguish, her need for something certain. Something within me tells me that I should send her back to Imladris for a time with Glorfindel. Perhaps that would aid her recovery. Perhaps then she would make peace with herself.

But what of our child? She cannot leave him now…and I cannot let her go. I need her to stay. Niall needs her. Our son is now so old but still so young. He cries in his sleep. Thalia does not hear, but I do. I have watched him sleep, his dreams are fitful and his pain obvious... I feel a guilt that lies within him. We have not taken his needs to heart as we should have. In our own grief we neglected our son. In his sleep he is alone; he has never before been alone. The twins slept before each other and they dreamed together he now reams alone. And I cannot forgive myself for that.

Carefully I slipped from behind my now sleeping wife and as I did so I stood back to look at her. Her face was pale in the light and sweat covered her skin like fresh dew on summer leaves. She looked peaceful. The restless look that I have watched cover her features night after night was gone and I couldn't help but wonder what it was that had made her so at peace, but I couldn't but thinking that it was I that done wrong by her. Why had I not been enough to bring her peace?

I ignored the sounds of Elrond trying to save my son and concentrated on cleaning the blood and sweat from Thalia. Grabbing a corner of the sheet that covered her I pulled on it. Already the blue veins of her milky white beasts were clearly visible and her nipples were leaking milk. I couldn't help but smile at the sight. I knew how her body reacted and if this child was anything like the twins they would Thalia's body would react at the slightly hint of a cry.

Her stomach was still rounded but she would lose that within a few months, but she was still beautiful. I felt guilt as my gaze shifted to her bloody thighs and the stained sheets. She whimpered softly and shifted as I cleaned her of the sticky residue and suddenly I became very aware that I was being watched. Dismissing the obvious gaze I changed the sheets and re-covered her in a blue silk sheet. The sheet molded perfectly to her body and if it has only been myself and Elrond that would see her like that there would be no problem, but no doubt her would be a myriad of visitors, including Glorfindel and I could not leave her like that. Taking as much time as I could I strode over to the large chest that held all of our bed linen. The cool metal of the ornate handles felt beautiful in my hands, making my thoughts seem insignificant.

I heard my newborn child cry forcefully and I felt my heart contract. It was beautiful, but it took al the courage that I had to look at him. He was nestled safely in Lord Elrond's arms yet there was restlessness in him that I knew too well and it occurred to me that h may have taken on some of Thalia's….newest traits. He had shared her body for nearly a year and he had already been through so much. As I gazed at him I felt everything change. He was so small, almost fragile. There was a fear with him that I had never felt with Niall or Eleni, despite their own small size. My newborn son looked so delicate.

"You are very lucky, you nearly lost him"

Elrond deep voice penetrated my thoughts and ruptured the small amount of confidence that I had managed to build up. I shifted my eyes and briefly studied the pink streaked sky outside.

The dawn of a new day.

The light was beginning to steam through the thin drapes. Lighting the room and seeing to dispel the heavy atmosphere. The warm air was cooling and the light breeze felt refreshing as it carried the scent of the trees through the room. The smell took me back into my memories, to a day of laughter and a night a passion spent out among the forest with my wife.

My son cried pleadingly as he squirmed in Elrond's arms and I could not help but feel intimidated by the elven lord who had seen my family at our most vulnerable. Stepping forward I took my son into my arms, cradling him from everything and everybody. His mall nose was perfect. His lips were thin and open as he sucked on his thumb. On his head was a thin dusting of golden hair and I silently thanked the Valar that he did not have Thalia's hair colour for I think that would have broken her. I felt Elrond clasp my shoulder before checking Thalia and leaving the room. The room lifted and I felt myself smile and laugh nervously. I was fearful of my role within my family yet I was encouraged by the bond that we shared. But now I needed to look after my family. They all needed me. My kingdom would be nothing with them, and so my mind is made up.

"We have stood here before, the two of us. And yet we watch the same uncertainty, the same fear, and the same guilt"

Vana stood behind Thalia as they watched the water show them what was to come.

There would be many who would rise and many more would fall. The innocence of a world such as the one she lived in would begin to fade, and man would begin their descent into ruin. There was a choice to be made.

Thalia stood back from Vana, unwilling to be pacified.

"I will not play games with you. You have taken everything from me, you and the rest of us. You call yourself god? You promise safety, you promise love. Yet you bring only heartbreak and deceit. I will not play your game anymore until you play mine"

Vana laughed, her voice silky smooth as it escaped her mouth. Her eyes danced and her amusement infuriated Thalia. She folded her arms across her chest and watched as the elleth began the pace, her eyes blazing with frustration, exhaustion and tears. Nearly tripping over the pale pink gown that Vana had given her Thalia ripped the hem off of it screaming as she did so making Vana laugh even more though she made no move to try and contain herself.

"Do you think this is funny? Everything's just a big joke to you isn't it! Do you know what it's like to sit by day after knowing what a mess you've made of your life!"

Vana arched a delicate blonde eyebrow and flicked her long golden hair form her shoulders,

"My child I have seen much. I have seen those who truly suffer. Those who are alone. Those who have nobody, who feel every second of their life melt away, and they welcome it. You may have lost a child princess, but you have also gained a child. You have heard these words. Why do you need me to say them?"

Thalia looked at the marble floor and she was reminded as she blinked back tears, of the roman floors that she had spent hours learning about and re-creating in primary school with small tiles.

"Because when you say, they're more real. They mean something"

"Why do you say such things? I remember a little girl who once sat upon the grass under the apple tree in her garden, and do you know what she asked me for?"

Thalia shook her head, though she knew the answer.

"She asked me for somebody to love"

The tears that had been painfully pricking her eyes finally fell and she could no longer contain her pain, smiling Vana knelt beside her, stroking Thalia's hair.

"And so you see. I do not ignore you. I have never ignored you"

Thalia wiped her eyes with the back of her hands and looked at the Goddess who knelt before her as an equal.

"You are one of my children and I will see no harm come to you that is no just"

"Can you justify my daughter's death? Can you? I see her spinning round and round in my head and I can't tell Legolas. Oh no. he'll put me in a nut house. He'll put it down to stress. Maybe I am mad. Do you think I'm mad? I think I am. But I love him you know. And I can't put him through this anymore. He's had nearly a hundred years of having to baby-sit me. No, no, no, I can't do it. Please help me"

Reaching down Vana took her arm and pulled her up to stare into the water once more. Thalia's brows furrowed as she looked at the picture of a little girl and her mother. The pale blue dress with the little yellow flowers had been her one of her favorite dresses, and the long white skirt had been one of her mother's favorites.

Thalia stepped away, an expression of betrayal on her face.

"Why are you showing me this? I don't want to see this. I remember this; I don't need to see it"

Vana shook her head and grasped Thalia's shoulders tightly; keeping her from moving away and making her watch the scene play itself out.

"You say you remember the day? Do you remember the expression on your mother face? Do you remember the words from her lips and the tears in her eyes before she let you go to your blood mother?"

Thalia let her legs go but Vana held tight with a knowing confidence that her charge finally understood.

"You were there?"

Vana sat down beside the new mother,

"I am everywhere. I am the Brigid whom you once spoke with and I am Vana whom you see now. It does not matter by what name you give me, what matters is that you always remember me. I am in the trees and the birds, in the sun and the stars and I will always be here. I have watched you grow and learn but yet you refuse to let yourself learn and grow from this"

"If you have always been there then why have you only ever spoken to me whilst her. Why never on earth?"

"Because here magic is used freely. The elves especially live their lives with nature, with me. We are all watching you. But here your mind had changed. You no longer look at the world as you once did. You are who you choose to be, always remember that"

Thalia's eyes clouded and the ice cold core of her body disappear and a wave of white hot pain washed over her. She heard her own voice but couldn't make out what is was. The continual buzzing in her ear was painful and distracting, stopping her from thinking. Somewhere she could her Vana's voice but she could make out the words. It was like being underwater. She could see but she was deaf. Through the haze she saw her world change and peacefulness settle over her. And he shoulder lifted as her burden was released.

The world melted away and the soft white of the above became the light of the day as she opened her eyes. She felt the ache of her now empty stomach and the pain in her breasts but she heard the soft voice of her husband and it made her smile. Her smile widened when the quiet voice of her son and the soft cry of a newborn baby sounded clearly like bells in her ear and she could have cried.

"Mummy!"

"Niall don't jump on your mother"

she laughed and opened her eyes to the sight of her sons bright blue eyes staring at her and she barely had chance to focus before he threw his arms around her neck as best he could, giggling softly against the skin of her neck.

Opening her eyes as she hugged him tightly she watched as her husband made his way over to her, their tiny son held safely on his broad shoulder. Her eyes studied the newest member of their family as if he was a stranger, despite the stirring in her body.

"I think he's hungry mummy"

Thalia turned to look at her son as he lay lazily on the bed next to her, a cheeky grin on his face. Testing her voice she finally worked up the courage to speak.

"I think you're right. Niall, honey, help me sit up"

Sitting up the elfling helped his mother adjust the pillows behind her and held the blankets as she dragged herself up the bed into a comfortable sitting position.

"That better mummy?"

She nodded and kissed him before ruffling his hair and sending him to go and get something to eat

Nervously she looked up at Legolas who still stood watching her; she was amused by the fact that his hand covered the baby's entire back, making him seem smaller still. She took a moment to look at her husband. He had tied his hair back and wore it in a low ponytail. His tunic was crumpled a little where the baby had obviously been sat and his face was tired.

Patting the space beside her nervously she looked away quickly as he sat down, making him chuckle.

She looked down at her hand, playing with her fingers. Covering her hand with one of his he motioned for her to take the baby,

"He is hungry mela"

Looking at the baby who stared at her silently as if in contemplation but she couldn't take it.

"No, I can't. I'm sorry I just can't. We can get a wet nurse or something"

Masking his vague amusement Legolas steeled his expression.

"Take the baby Thalia. Do make this any more difficult than it has to be"

She flushed and looked at him, her eyes searching his desperately; he felt her genuine nervousness let his expression soften.

"Would you like me to help? I know that you do not like it but you will grow used to it once again"

Nodding shyly she let Legolas slide over the bed and shifted so that she was nestled in his embrace. Her heart jumped into her throat as the baby gurgled but she remained where she was and let Legolas settle behind her. Nervous tears came to her eyes and her husband reached in front of her to loosen the sheet that she had wrapped round her body.

"Thalia modesty is no longer necessary between us"

He chided her gently as he felt her heartbeat quicken.

She whimpered softly as he placed the baby into her arm and with his arms around her together they lifted their child and taught him to feed. Thalia squirmed with discomfort as he latched on but soon became used to the feeling and settled into Legolas arms.

"Things are very strange. Have I missed something?"

He only nodded and kissed her. Saving the surprise for a more…appropriate time.