Title: Hesitation

Author: Lorr

Genre/Rating: General – Missing Scene

Character: Weir, Sheppard, McKay, Beckett

Disclaimer: The characters, etc. are owned by others. I'm just playing here again.

Spoilers: Yes, definitely.

Background: This is at the end of Epiphany.

"Monsters of the Id, Rodney." Sheppard was sitting in one of the chairs against the wall in Elizabeth Weir's office. He was now dressed in his own clothes and clean-shaven. The area of skin the beard protected from the sun was paler than the rest of his face.

"Monsters?" Dr. Beckett paused at the door of Elizabeth Weir's office then entered and sat down in a chair next to McKay opposite her desk.

"Ah, Ann Francis." McKay smiled dreamily. "Another cute, smart blond."

Elizabeth and Sheppard rolled their eyes at the comment.

Beckett frowned at McKay and Sheppard. "Monsters? Of the Id?"

"They didn't have the Krell generators to power the monster." McKay pointed out.

"No, but they were almost ascended. They had other abilities. Teer had visions. She told me you were there. Her mother could move things with her mind. And Hedda could heal." Sheppard absently rubbed the side of his neck.

"So, they must have been tapping into some energy or power in their own minds." Elizabeth suggested. "They did say it was manifest from their fear."

"I don't understand what they were afraid of." Beckett frowned. "Were they afraid of ascending?"

They all looked at Sheppard. He shrugged. "I think it was more they were afraid they wouldn't."

"Why?" McKay had a disbelieving expression on his face.

"They spent their whole lives in preparation, meditating, waiting. They wanted to ascend more than anything, but were still there." He shrugged again.

The room fell quiet as they thought about it. After a minute, Elizabeth leaned forward.

"Is there a problem, Carson?"

"No, no. That's just it." The Doctor turned to Sheppard. "How are you feeling, Colonel?"

"Fine. Kind of weird, but fine." Sheppard folded his arms over his chest. "Why?"

"Well, apart from having lost several pounds…"

"I was on a vegan diet for six months." Sheppard interrupted.

"Six months in a few hours. That's still too much for me to understand." Beckett shook his head.

The Colonel stared at Beckett. "Tell me about it."

McKay started forming shapes with his hands. "Carson, it was a time dilation field. It…"

"Yeah, yeah, Rodney." Sheppard stopped him. "What's wrong apart from the weight thing?"

"Nothing, that's it. You are in perfect health." Beckett frowned.

"You have a problem with that?" Elizabeth looked skeptical.

"Yes. No." The Doctor looked apologetic. "The test results came back. The blood work, everything, came back better than I've ever seen for you. Better than they should be, even given that you have been eating well and exercising."

"You said the little girl healed you after you were injured by the beast." Elizabeth offered. "Could it be that she did more than heal the wounds?"

"Could be." He shrugged. "I don't know."

"Maybe the energy field had something to do with it." McKay was looking at Sheppard through narrowed eyes. "What is it with you?"

Sheppard held up his hands and shook his head.

"Anyway, I'd like to do another work-up next week, if you don't mind, Colonel. This is a unique opportunity." Beckett stood up and walked to the door. He paused. "Quite fascinating, to be honest."

"I'd better get back to the lab. I have a lot of data to go through from your little adventure." McKay pushed himself off the chair. He looked at Sheppard. "I'm glad we didn't lose you there, Colonel."

"Thanks, Rodney. If you hadn't figured out the time dilation thing, I wouldn't be here at all."

McKay was suddenly uncomfortable. "Well, if I'd been paying attention, you wouldn't have gotten stuck there to begin with. Sorry."

"Forget it." Sheppard smiled.

McKay just nodded then turned and left.

After a moment, Sheppard moved to stand up.

Elizabeth turned her chair toward him. "John, wait. Were you tempted to go with them?"

"What do you mean?"

"When Teer asked you to go with them, you hesitated. Did you want to go with them?"

He looked away for a long time and exhaled heavily. When he looked back at her, she saw a glimpse of conflict in his eyes. "Yeah, for a moment. It wasn't the right time. There's too much to do here."

She couldn't stop the next question. "What if we hadn't been there?"

"I don't know. I thought you guys had forgotten about me. Maybe it would have been the right time." He rubbed the back of his neck and sighed. "We'll never know, will we?"

"No, I don't suppose we will." Elizabeth felt a small chill in her heart.