Chapter 2 - Secret

A/N: This started as a standalone, but when I started trying to write a follow-up to 'The Letter', I found the beginnings and thought it would work. It was originally based on the lyrics – and the mood - from Maroon 5's 'Secret', from their 'Songs about Jane' album. However, I then sort of forgot about it, and have now decided to resurrect the half-finished chapter. It's still set where it was when I started; I can't remember whether it was before all the rows, or whether I was in denial. Basically, Bosco is out of hospital, but was considering skipping town rather than requalifying…

As ever, Third Watch is not mine, and I am making no profit from this.

No coward soul is mine

No trembler in the World's storm-troubled sphere:

I see Heaven's glories shine

And faith stands equal arming me from fear

Emily Brontë (Last Lines)

The timid sun was cautiously creeping up above the Manhattan skyline. Its tentative rays were catching the glass-fronted buildings, bathing the city in a blood-red glow. The vermillion bled slowly across the watery grayness of the night sky. The indistinct boundary between the darkness and the dawn was a light pink, deepening to red as the semi-circular stain spread.

The warmth from the hood of his car had long since faded, but still he leant against it. The sun had yet to heat the cool night air but Bosco was oblivious to the chill. He continued to stare at the black water, as he had been doing for the last few hours. The sunrise was gradually lighting up his surroundings, bathing them in soft, unnatural colors.

It was only meant to be a quick visit, a final farewell to the place where they had spent so much time together, but he couldn't leave. Something was holding him there. All the good times were playing over and over again in his head. The laughs, the jokes, the pranks they'd played.

He wasn't sure what alerted him to her presence, it could have been the sound of a footfall or just the almost imperceptible sound of her clothes rustling as she moved. Maybe it wasn't even that, just the sensation of her eyes on his back, but whatever it was, he suddenly knew without a doubt that she was there. A crystal-clear vision of her formed in his mind's eye. He knew how she was hanging back awkwardly, not sure whether she should approach him or leave him be. He could imagine the set of her shoulders as she hesitated, trying to gauge his mood from the little she could see of him.

He spoke quietly, keeping his back to her. "You found me, huh?" She said nothing, but he guessed she would have nodded her head. He looked down at his hands, flicking his nails against each other absently. "I was going to leave." Silence hung heavily in the cool air. "I couldn't".

She moved to sit beside him on the hood. He kept staring straight ahead. "Did you ever think this was the way your life was going to turn out?" He felt her pause, puzzled at where this conversation was going. "Did you?"

"No," she said, after a little consideration. "No, I can't say I did. I would've never married Fred if I'd known this was how we were gonna end up."

There was silence again, as they thought their own troubled thoughts.

"I always wanted to be a cop," Bosco said finally. "Patrollin' the streets, keepin' the peace, protectin' people; I just never knew it would be like this. I mean, if you'da told me when I was hidin' out at the fort with Mikey-" He broke off, and Faith gently placed one of her hands on his. He took a breath and continued, "If you'da told me that years later I would be back there with him tryin' to stop him gettin' shot for the death of a cop, someone I knew, I'd worked with, an' that he was dealin'…" He shifted his hand so that he could grip hers. "I would've never believed ya. All I ever wanted to do was protect Mikey and Ma, an' I screwed up. Mikey was killed and Ma was injured…" he trailed off and tipped his head up to the sky, trying to stave off the tears that threatened.

They were quiet for a long time, watching the pink sky turn purple, and eventually blue. It dawned one of those perfect crisp mornings, with little fluffy clouds in a blue, blue sky.

His thoughts tumbled back to what she'd said earlier. "You really wouldn't've married him?"

Faith almost jumped at the non sequitur. "Huh?"

"Fred? You said you wouldn't've married him if you'd known?"

She shrugged. "Who knows. Maybe I still would've. I was in a pretty bad place, pregnant with Em. And it's not like we never had any good times. "

No, but their partnership had had its ups and downs too. "What about us?" His voice was slightly flat and he had tensed up.

She was puzzled. "What?"

He looked down at his hands. "Would you… would you've still stuck with me, if you'd known what would happen?"

"Of course." He looked up, surprised at the strength of her voice. "Bosco, we've been through so much. I wouldn't change you for anyone."

He smiled weakly. "Really?"

She grinned. "Much as I hate to reinforce the idea that you're irresistible…" This time he really smiled at the sarcasm. "Look, Bos, I know things haven't always been easy, but you're stuck with me now. There's no way I'm lettin' you go runnin' off." She took her eyes off him to stare at the water. "You saved my life ya know. I'm not lettin' you go so easily after that."

"You know I'd do it again, Faith."

She nodded and nudged him gently. "Why d'ya think I'm not lettin' you run off? You're my personal shield." She stared down at their intertwined hands. "I got your letter."

He stiffened at the mention of it. "I didn't reckon on havin' to see you after I wrote that," he muttered.

"It was a bit of a surprise," she started. He flinched at the words and went to move his hand from hers, but she put the other one on top, trapping it. "I realized that I don't really know you."

He really did pull his hand away then, and stood up, turning his back on her. His shoulders hunched defensively.

She stood up and followed him. "What I mean, Bosco, is that I don't see how I could've missed so much. About Mikey, and your mother. No one blames you for what happened."

"I do."

"Your wrong."

He was silent for a while. "Maybe."

She looked down at her hands. "And… I don't see how I could've missed how you felt about me."

He shrugged. "I was tryin' to hide it from you. I mean, you were attached, and I don't do married women." He turned to face her. "I couldn't be the one, Faith. I couldn't wreck your kids' lives." He scuffed his sneaker over the scraggy grass at his feet. "Maybe that's why I told you to stick with Fred. I wanted to tell you he was no good for you, but I didn't know if it was 'cause I wanted you."

"Oh, Bosco," she sighed. She stared into his scarred face for a while. "Bosco, you're my partner. You'll always be my partner. But - at the moment - I'm not sure about anything else."

He nodded jerkily.

"I can't lose you, though, Bosco. I need your friendship." She turned away to stare into the middle distance. "These last few months…" Bosco moved to stand by her. "I've needed you, Bos," she whispered.

His chest was tight. "I wish I could've been there."

"Don't leave me again?" Her voice trembled with emotion.

He put an arm round her. "Never. You'll always have as much've me as you want."

She smiled radiantly. "Can I have a lift home? Em'll be getting' ready for school."

He nodded. "Sure. Hop in."

The morning sun was making the Mustang gleam as they turned to walk towards it. Things weren't so bad. Nothing could go wrong if he had Faith beside him, and he'd take as much of her as she was ready to give. Who knew how things would turn out? Sometimes you just have to take a leap, and hope for the best.

Footnote: I realize this may not be the happily ever after you were looking for. I'm thinking of writing a final chapter, which hopefully shouldn't take as long to get around to!