The next day Lee told the medics not to allow any visitors to see him. He blamed the fact that he needed his rest, but the truth was he just couldn't bare anyone to see him this way, not yet. It wasn't just that his body felt weak, but he looked it as well, his muscles having wasted after three months of what he presumed had been starvation. But most importantly he felt a fool. For far, far more reasons than he could count, even whilst lying on a hospital bed with nothing better to do.

He was forced to admit that a lot of those reasons came back to Kara. Lee knew he was angry with her for not being by his side when he needed her. Just as he would be angry if she failed to come to him now. Yet he also knew that he would be furious with her if she did turn up. Therefore it seemed best to keep everyone out. That way, he wouldn't have to deal with whether she came to see or not. And that way, Lee hoped, he could hold on to his control a little longer.

'You're one frakked up son of a bitch Lee, you know that.' he had sworn to himself after he ordered the medic to draw his curtain and let no-one near. But it was better this way he assured himself. This way, nobody could touch him. This way they couldn't keep hurting him. And Lee wished it was as easy to lock people out of your heart as it was out of your room.

But Lee had overlooked one thing when he forged his plan. And he had just started to drift to sleep when the commotion started.

"I'm going to see him right frakking now!" It was her. Kara's voice was unmistakable and he felt his heart pound from the sudden start.

Paramedic Ishay came bursting through the curtain. "I'm sorry sir," she stammered. "I told her you weren't allowing visitors."

And there she was. Beautiful. Vulnerable. Kara.

Their eyes met but Lee couldn't bear it. He looked away sharply. It was too much. He wasn't ready yet, wasn't strong enough. He needed to stay in control. He needed to shut everything else out, especially the mixed feelings that Kara aroused. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath, drawing into his chest all his pain and confusion, and locked them there. And when he breathed out again he was left with only anger.

"Lee." He heard her say. It sounded almost a plea.

Lee swallowed hard. "I gave orders not to have any visitors." The coldness in his voice surprised even him.

"Well, I disobeyed your orders." Big green eyes never strayed from him as she continued. "It's not the first time. Throw me in the brig why don't you."

But this wasn't the time to be flippant with Lee.

"You'd probably like that, wouldn't you," he spat. "But then again I guess you'd do anything right now to be nearer your new boyfriend."

He got a strange satisfaction from seeing that his words had their intended effect. Kara took a step back from him as if he had physically punched her.

"OK, this was a bad idea," she murmured, fidgeting with her finger as she spoke. Lee looked down at her hand and the finger she absent-mindedly rubbed. Was that where her engagement ring had sat? The thought only fueled his bitterness.

"Too damn right it was a bad idea. What did you expect? That you could just waltz in here and all would be forgiven? That I'd forget you'd been frakking a cylon for the past 3 months? I mean, I know you always had trouble keeping your pants on, Kara, but I didn't think even you'd sink that low."

"Lee…" It was all she said. Lee looked into her eyes. They brimmed with tears and smoldered with anger and Lee didn't know if she was about to cry or punch him. He found himself hoping it was the latter. The physical pain would be a welcome distraction from the ache inside. But she did neither, she just stood there trembling, eyes to the ground, accepting his punishing words and waiting for more.

Lee couldn't stand it.

"I'm ordering you to get out of here right now." he told her in his same precise, icy tone. "And I want you to stay the hell away from me in future. In fact, you will not speak to me unless I address you first or you are obeying a direct order. Is that understood?"

Kara raised her eyes to him once more. "Lee, please, just let me explain for once."

"I said, is that understood!"

Kara fell quiet and gave a small nod.

"Dismissed."

And with that Kara gave a salute and ran.