For the Greater Good
By Jagfan724
DISCLAIMER: I don't own the characters, J.K. Rowling does.
Remus was in love with Lily Evans. He had been since first year. The sweet redhead, then eleven, was his first friend that he made on Platform9 ¾. They were both unsure of how to get on the Hogwarts Express, how exactly to find it. So both pulling trolleys, they watched as a few other young students just walked right through the barrier.
So, feeling a bit nervous, they gave each other encouraging looks and ran for the barrier, expecting to crash right into it. They both breathed a sigh of relief when they made it safely through.
Lily and Remus had stowed their trunks away and found an empty compartment. Then James Potter had entered, Sirius Black right behind him. They immediately latched onto Remus and minutes later, all three were pouring over a Quidditch magazine. Remus was just so surprised to have more friends that he couldn't stop James from teasing Lily and turning her hair green. To match her eyes, was his excuse.
And so, over the years, Remus had felt indebted to James, Sirius, and then Peter Pettigrew. They were his friends. Friends.
But there were times when he needed to be around a bit of maturity and it was during these times that he would study and do homework with Lily. He couldn't help but fall in love with her. The bond between them deepened when she confronted him one winter afternoon in the Hospital Wing, just a day after the full moon. She told him she knew his secret and she didn't care and she was going to be his friend, whether he liked it or not.
Lily was the first one to know that he was a werewolf and not care in the least. James, Sirius, and Peter were the second, third, and fourth. Their response made Remus even more loyal to them. And when they accomplished the seemingly impossible task of becoming Animagi, Remus knew he could never again find friends like these.
So when James Potter declared his romantic intentions towards Lily Evans, Remus had no choice but to stay back. Marauder's Code.
When James would flirt with and tease Lily, Remus, although filled with jealousy, stayed in the back. He couldn't go after her.
When Remus was made a prefect, along with Lily, Remus couldn't help but feel a little guilty of all the time he spent with her. It was clear that James was jealous and heart-broken to see that the girl he loved liked one of his best mates better.
Remus began to devote much of this time to trying to raise the image of James Potter in Lily's eyes. What else could he do for one of the best friends he had ever had? The Marauder's were nothing if not loyal to one another.
So the Christmas of their sixth year, when James admitted that he was truly, deeply in love with Lily Evans and it wasn't just a little schoolboy's crush anymore, Remus knew what he had to do.
"Professor Dumbledore?
"Yes, Mr. Lupin?"
Remus stood in the Headmaster's office, shuffling almost nervously.
"I was wondering if you had thought who you were going to make Head Boy next year."
"Would you like to know if it is you?" Dumbledore asked gently. His heart was almost breaking for the young boy, he could read into his mind, see the heaviness that weighed upon him.
"Was it going to be me?"
"Was? Mr. Lupin, do you not want the position?"
"It can't be me," Remus stated, standing tall and firm, the decision made. "It should be James."
"Please explain."
"People will notice if I can't make it to meetings cause I'm disappearing once a month. Snape knows and he'll have a fit if I'm Head Boy, a position he clearly wants. James should do it, he's grown up a lot and he's got the best grades out of anyone, well, except for Lily Evans. James has made a good Quidditch Captain and he would do a good job," Remus explained eagerly.
"Mr. Lupin, are you sure you do not want the position? I have a feeling you would do quite well in it."
"No." And Remus was back to his nervous, shuffling self. "It should be James."
"Very well, then."
"Thank you, sir."
"You are indeed a great friend, Mr. Lupin. I do hope Mr. Potter is aware of that."
And when the letters were sent out that summer, the Head Boy's badge was in James's envelope, not Remus's.
Remus watched as James became friends with Lily, adjusted to the position of responsibility. He continued to watch, his heart breaking more and more each time, as Lily became not so immune to James. He watched as they went on dates. He was there when James came back to the dorm one night, in a daze because he had had his first kiss with Lily.
He was right there with the rest of the Marauder's, helping with James's proposal to Lily. He was there watching as she said yes, happily said yes. He was the one to walk Lily down the aisle at their wedding, because her parents were both dead and there was no one she would have rather had walk her down the aisle to James.
He was there when they announced that Lily was pregnant. He watched as Lily's stomach grew in size until little Harry was born. He was right there the day she was giving birth, James rushing into the hospital from an Auror assignment, barely making it in time. He watched as Lily and James adjusted to married life all too well, they were so good for each other.
But then he couldn't watch anymore. Not as their heads were filled with thoughts of betrayal. His betrayal. He couldn't watch as Peter was made their Secret Keeper. He couldn't watch as he stood, hidden in the forest near their house. He couldn't listen as the shouts of James, the screams of Lily, and the cries of Harry filled the air. Nor as the bright green light flashed once, twice. He couldn't watch as the house seemed to explode and crumble into pieces.
Remus loved her, but he couldn't watch her die. He couldn't watch them die.
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