Okay folks here's chapter 4. Before we start I forgot to mention at the start that I don't own Dragonball Z or any of the Characters who appear in it, which you probably realised by now. Oh and because someone asked but others may be confused RBC stands for The Royal Bank of Canada. I would also like to apologise for any speling mestakes in this story, I've never been any good at it but I will proof read more carefully in future. Okay off we go…
Selling Cell
Cell had been touring the world for three long days now. It was hard work but it appeared to be paying off. The Cell Games had almost sold out already and Ernie had informed him that they were just hours away from getting a TV deal. Despite its success Cell was glad to have a day off. Of course he had had to tell Ernie that if he read that insurance speech one more time he was going to blow up the world a few days early to get it. Unfortunately Ernie had a strange idea of what a day off consisted of.
"If I had wanted to see the sea" Cell grumbled, "I would have gone to a Mediterranean beach, not a Canadian dock!" He took a sip of the machine coffee he was cradling in his hands for warmth. "Why are we here anyway?"
"You wanted a day off from the tour." Replied Ernie, "So I thought we could get some other important work done."
"No I said I wanted a day off, Full Stop." Cell replied, "I need a break or else I'll never win The Cell Games."
"They say a change is as good as a rest!" suggested Ernie cheerfully.
"Yes going on tour was a change for me" replied Cell, "and I don't feel rested at all!"
"Well next time you should make yourself clearer." Ernie retorted.
"Yes," commented Cell "but it's quite hard to make things clear to you, like when I quite clearly said "I don't want the name changed again!". Oh by the way what is the name today?"
"What makes you think it's changed?" asked Ernie innocently,
"What is it!" growled Cell
"Pepsi Presents The RBC Cell Games Powered by Ford" mumbled Ernie.
"I bet their giving away a Focus to the winner too."
"No but that's a good idea, give people something to fight for. I'm going to write that one down." Said Ernie pulling out a pencil. "And you say I don't listen to you!"
Cell was about to tie and anchor around Ernie's legs and throw him into the sea when a sailor approached them.
"Your crate is on the truck Mr Becclestone," he said "please sign here."
"Excellent" said Ernie quickly signing the sheet, "That is what we're here for."
He led Cell through the harbour to a truck parked by a warehouse.
"Left a few sample boxes out for you Mr Becclestone" A work man told them as the approached, gesturing towards the boxes in question.
"Great" Ernie replied eagerly opening one of the boxes like a kid on Christmas day. "Perfect" he declared before throwing an item of the box's contents to Cell. Cell caught it and had a look. It was a t-shirt with a picture of him on it, well almost a picture of him on it. There were some glaring mistakes. Like his eyes where too big, so was his head for that matter, while his limbs were too short. He also appeared to be wearing a t-shirt, but the biggest offence of all was the friendly smile on his face. The whole set up made him look, almost, CUTE!
"What do you think?" asked Ernie happily.
"Words can not adequately describe what I think of ….this" Cell replied spiting out the last word in disgust.
"I knew you'd like the mascot." Declared Ernie proudly. "It was my idea you know."
"What" Cell asked "gave you the idea that I liked it."
"You don't like it!" said Ernie with, apparently, genuine surprise in his voice.
"NO I DON'T" shouted Cell "WHY SHOULD I, IT'S A MONSROSITY"
"It makes you look cute and friendly!" Ernie replied defensively.
"I KNOW!" Cell practically screamed! "THAT'S WHY I HATE IT, I'M AN EVIL ANDRIOD, I'M NOT SUPPOSED TO BE CUTE OR FRIENDLY."
"But kids will love it." Ernie protested. "Its how we'll get them interested in the Cell Games!"
"It's going to be a blood thirsty fighting tournament" Cell replied "It's not exactly kids entertainment!"
"I certainly hope it is blood thirsty, that's how we intend to attract the 13-25 year olds," Ernie said, "that and the cheer leaders."
"CHEER..." paused Cell and forced himself to focus on the point "No I can't stand for this." He said "You can not sell those; I'm putting my foot down on this!"
"But this is one of the most important parts of our marketing strategy!" protested Ernie as Cell advanced on the box. "Tours and TV commercials will be forgotten but T-shirts will last for ever. People will find them at the bottom of closets, or in charity shops and it remind them what a great event The Cell Games was. Eventually the cuddly toys…"
"CUDDLY TOYS!"
"And novelty coffee mugs will become collector's items and sell for thousands. They'll appear on the antiques road show and that's how The Cell Games will be remembered for generations!" Ernie stopped gasping for breath. Cell stopped too.
"Two points" he said "Firstly I don't want to be remembered for generations if it means being remembered as "Cell the Happy Elf" or "Cell the Garden Gnome" or "Cell THE NOVELTY TOILET SEAT!" Secondly there won't be anyone left to remember, there all going to be dead! WHEN ARE YOU GOING TO GET IT IN TO YOUR THICK HEAD! I'M GOING TO DESTROY THE WORLD!" Cell stopped now to gasp for breath himself, although he did feel a lot better having got that off his chest.
"Fine" said Ernie dejectedly "You win, I'll cancel the merchandise."
"Pardon" said Cell in shock. "Can I hear that again?"
"You win"
"No snappy come back?" Asked Cell, "No more complicated reason's why if I don't do this my Cell games will be a disaster."
"No" replied Ernie, as it suddenly occurred to Cell what had happened.
"I win! I win!" he yelled jumping around the car park, "I finally win! My reputation is safe at last!"
"Although" said Ernie slyly, "this will make a great story in the press." Cell stopped dead.
"Why, what will?" he asked nervously.
"I can see the head line now," Ernie declared "Companionate Killer Android Stops Merchandise Production for Kids Sake."
"W…w…why am I compassionate" asked Cell full of dread, Ernie merely carried on with his imaginary news report.
"Cell the pure evil Android showed that he had a softer side to day when he put a stop to the production of his own merchandises range. Sources close to the android say that this was because Cell was appalled by the use of sweat shop and child labour in the factories. Apparently he demanded that the factories be reorganised to employ adult workers in decent conditions and at a fair wage!"
"THAT'S AN OUTRAGEOUS LIE!" protested Cell.
"Consumer and human rights groups say that Cell is "setting an example that all celebrities with their own products should try to follow!"" Ernie finished, "What do you think that would do for your reputation?" he asked triumphantly.
"You wouldn't dare do that!" threatened Cell, "I would kill you!"
"No you wouldn't," said Ernie "Because then you would have no one to market your Cell Games or organised the TV rights and then…"
"THE WHOLE THING WILL BE A MISERABLE FAILURE, I GET IT" interrupted Cell furiously. He sighed and looked at the t-shirt again. "I guess the cute look might grow on me." He began. "And if poor people are suffering to make them…."
"Exactly" said Ernie, "It does no harm to your reputation at all."
"Very well then," Cell finished, "carry on with the merchandise."
"Your wish is my command" Ernie replied doing a mock salute.
"I that case…" said Cell turning round to take off,
"Where are you going?" asked Ernie
"To find an anchor and some rope," Cell replied, "Just stay there…."
Only two chapters to go so if you have any idea, comments or criticisms please let me know. Hope you enjoyed it and chapter 5 will be up shortly…