Disclaimer- Don't Own It
Heaven Sent
More Than Fine
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When I wake in the morning,
I want to blow into pieces.
I want more than just ok, more than just ok.
When I'm up with the sunrise
I want more than just blue skies.
I want more than just ok, more than just ok.
I'm not giving up, giving up, not giving up now.
I'm not giving up, giving up, not backing down.
More than fine, more than bent on getting by.
More than fine, more than just ok.
When I'm wet with the sunshine.
I want more than just a good time.
I want more than just ok, more than just ok.
I'm not giving up, giving up, not giving up now.
I'm not giving up, giving up, not selling out.
More than fine, more than bent on getting by.
More than fine, more than just ok.
More than fine, more than bent on getting by.
More than fine, more than just ok.
More than oceans away from the dawn.
More than oceans away from the dawn.
More than oceans away from who we are
More than oceans, more than oceans, yeah.
More than fine, more than bent on getting by.
More than fine, more than just ok.
More than fine, more than bent on getting by.
More than fine, more than just ok.
More Than Fine- Switchfoot
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It was still dark. Lydia could almost feel the early morning gloom through the curtains surrounding her. She lay serenely in her bed, her brown braid loose, sending rebel strands across the pillow. The dark blue sheets had long been pushed to her feet, her only cover the simple, white nightdress she always wore.
Slowly, Lydia pushed herself up on one hand, wiping the hair from her face with the other. She pulled back the velvet curtains, trying almost too hard not to make any noise. She did not want to disturb her roommates, fearing the questioning that would come along with her early awakening. Tip-toeing to the end of the bed, she heaved open the top of her trunk, cringing as the hinges creaked. Fumbling through the top layers of clothing, she found a plain green jumper and jeans under her black school robes. Being up north, it had been cold since she arrived at Hogwarts, not to mention the drop in temperature that had taken place it seemed all over Europe. She quickly threw on the outfit, before returning to the trunk again, and digging deep. She drew a thick hardcover stuffed with random pieces of parchment from the pile. Snatching a bottle of blue ink and plain quill from the bedside table, she crept down the spiral staircase leading out of the room.
Upon entering the common room, she cast a quick glance around to see if anyone else had ventured downstairs. The dying embers in the fire cast the only light, illuminating a lone figure on the couch. Whoever it was, they were breathing quietly, their chest moving steadily up and down. Curious, Lydia treaded a little closer.
It was Elle, her long, blond hair frizzed and ruffled, mascara running down her cheeks. Sleeping, she looked peaceful, but Lydia could tell that Elle really did have a rough night, or more like Elle had put herself through a rough night. She could never understand why Elle put so much on herself, making things bigger than they already were. The person it hurt the most in the end was Elle.
Sighing quietly to herself, Lydia went over to the sofa, and knelt in front of Elle's head. Hesitantly, she grasped Elle's shoulder, shaking her gently.
"Elle," she said in a low voice, "Elle, come on, wake up,"
"Mhumm…" Elle murmured in her sleep, turning over. Lydia shook her harder.
"Elle,"
"What?" she asked, coming around, squinting in the dim light. She sat up sluggishly in her seat, rubbing at the sleep in her eyes. She must have felt the dried mascara too, because she began to scratch at her cheeks self consciously.
"You're upset about last night?" said Lydia. Elle shook her head slowly.
"No…yes,"
"Why?" she asked carefully.
"Morrie made a fool of me. I don't deserve that, and what will James think now?" she said, melancholy dripping in her voice. Lydia nodded, thinking a moment.
"It doesn't matter. What's done is done," she said soothingly.
"But James-"
"He does outrageous things with his friends all the time. I'm sure he wouldn't care." Lydia reassured her quietly.
"Really?" Elle solicited hopefully. Lydia nodded.
"Really,"
"I still can't believe Morrie said that…"
"You can't blame her, Elle. She doesn't know what she's saying usually. I know it can be hard at times, but it's an advantage at others."
"But, she said it just to spite me!" Elle exclaimed.
"No, I think she did it just to warn you," Lydia replied thoughtfully.
"What do you mean?"
"I think she's worried about you,"
"That's stupid! Why would ever make her worry about me!?" Lydia frowned.
"That's something only she can answer," Elle looked at her a moment questioningly.
"Are you worried about me?" she asked softly.
"Yes,"
"It's about Sirius, isn't it?" Elle said, almost painfully. Lydia nodded.
"I'm sorry, Elle. It's just-"
"No, no, please, I know," she took a deep breath, "All I want is for James to notice me, just for him to even look at me. I like him so much."
"That's not the right way to get his attention," Lydia said carefully. Elle looked at her and shook her head at the ground, choking on a sob.
"What then?" she blubbered, "I just want him to see me. If only he could look at me the way he looks at Lily Evans. If only he could realize that I'm here, that I'm just as good as her!"
She was crying now, her eyes reddening worse than before. Lydia just frowned, uncertain of what way to comfort her.
"Elle, shh, it's okay. I understand," she whispered finally, trying to calm her down. She suddenly grabbed hold of Lydia, pulling her into a hug, crying steadily on her shoulder
"Oh, Lydie! I've made such a mess of everything! I don't even like Sirius!" Elle sniveled into Lydia's sweater, "What am I supposed to do?" Lydia, patted her friends back calmly, a despondent look in her eyes.
"That can only be your decision," she said solemnly, but the truth was, she had no idea. She had never encountered a situation like this in her own experience.
"I've been so dumb!"
"No, you haven't. You just got too caught up. Don't blame yourself, Elle. Don't blame anyone."
"You're right… like always," she sniffled pulling away, and sitting back down on the couch. Lydia took a seat beside her.
"Well, I try," Lydia said with a sad sort of smile. Elle gave her a small one in return.
"Thanks, Lydie."
"You're welcome,"
They sat in silence for a moment before Lydia spoke again, "Maybe you should try to get some more sleep,"
"What time is it?" She asked, congested, as she tried to get rid of the old mascara on her face with the sleeve of her shirt.
"Around six o'clock,"
"That early? And you're up?" she asked in disbelief. Lydia nodded, "You're weird."
"So they tell me,"
"Yeah… I'll see you at breakfast and don't eat the eggs by the way. My horoscope said…" Elle said, getting up and walking up the spiral staircase to the dormitory, eventually out of hearing range. Lydia sighed when she left. She thought it was right to say things were a bit messed up with Elle. Gradually, she rose from her seat, picking up her books, ink and parchment, then heading towards the door. Casting on glance at the clock, she opened the porthole and stepped out. The library was open at six.
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It seemed Lydia was right as Madam Pince was already working steadily at her desk when she arrived in the library. The lead windows had been opened, letting in the morning's light. The nighttime torches were still lit though, the outside glow not enough to illuminate all parts of the large room, the nooks and crannies left in the gloom.
As Lydia shut the door behind her, Madam Pince looked up, casting an irritated glance that turned into a look of thin recognition.
"Ms. Lachlan," she greeted stiffly, "Up for some early morning studying?"
"You could say that," Lydia gave her a short, polite smile. Receiving a nod from the librarian, she headed towards the farthest corner of the library, past shelves and shelves of books to her regular work table. She sat down in the familiar, hard chair, fingers tracing the long ago stories carved deeply within the wood of the table. She smiled faintly at the tally marks that spread up and down the table she had made determining the number of mermish causalities in the goblin wars for an extra credit essay in History of Magic.
She opened the book to just after the midsection, and dipping her quill lightly in the ink, she began to read. Her nose had been stuck inside the book for a good half an hour when the sound of distant footsteps rang through the silent library. She ignored it, scribbling another annotation on a small piece of parchment. It was probably just Madam Pince, organizing books for the new term. It wasn't long before the footsteps started getting louder and louder, coming closer and closer to where Lydia sat. Suddenly, it stopped.
Lydia looked up. Standing in the path between two shelves was Snape, staring at her. She returned the gaze, willing herself not to cringe under his knowing eyes. His black orbs had a way of cutting right through and she didn't enjoy it.
"Hello," he said finally.
"Hello," Lydia repeated, sounding meeker than she wished. Taking this as an invitation, he came over to the table and stood by her side.
Silence…
"You… can sit down if you'd like…" Lydia said, breaking the silence and gesturing to the seat beside her. He nodded and sat stiffly, pulling out his own book from his uniform school robes. He gave her one last look before opening it.
Lydia tried to turn back to her own book, but his presence beside her was palpable and distracting. She couldn't think. Every time she went to read a line, her mind would wander, questioning Snape's sudden appearance. There were plenty of tables in the library. Why had he come to hers? Did he plan on sitting here before, unaware of her being there? Or had he known she was there and decided to come sit with her for some reason? And just exactly what was that reason?
"Do you not get something?" Snape asked, looking at her expectantly.
"What?" Lydia said dumbly, snapping back into reality.
"Do you not get something?" he said again, "You've been on the same page for five minutes now."
No, no… I'm fine," she said lamely.
"Right… what are you reading?"
"Arthur and Merlin, Their Influences on Each Other and the Wizarding World," she lifted up the cover for him to read.
"I'm afraid I haven't read it,"
"It's quite good, if you can handle Brahamus's repetitive style. I swear he says, 'smiled bitterly' at least every two paragraphs."
"I know what you mean. I've read Tales of the Round Table and Their True Meaning. His writing is very monotonous." He said.
"Very, I mean the information is wonderful. He certainly did a lot of research, but it's almost like the book wasn't even edited before it was printed."
"Well, Brahamus was a wizard of the eighteenth century. He probably didn't have the means to be properly edited." He pointed out.
"Don't you think he would have noticed it? His errors?"
"I heard he was schizophrenic," he said casually. Lydia tilted her head at him, a bit confused.
"Well, there's an answer," she said smiling, "…that was a joke, right?"
"Yes, actually it was," he said thoughtfully.
"Not a very good one," Lydia laughed. Snape shook his head, slightly… smirking?
"It was pretty bad, wasn't it?"
"Yes, yes it was," she agreed, still grinning at him. He looked away, any trace of a smile or even a smirk now gone, turning his view to the clock.
"It's almost seven," he said, "Are you going down to breakfast?"
"Yes… are you?"
"I suppose," he said. Lydia stood up, and started getting her things together.
"Well, I'm going to go down there now… if you'd like to come?" she asked awkwardly. He nodded, standing. She moved first, walking through the shelves, him trailing behind. As they pulled out of the library, he came up to walk next to her in silence. The whole trip to the Great Hall was completely uncomfortable. When they finally reached the large doors, he departed to the Slytherin table without a word. She watched him as she walked over to the Ravenclaw Table. He sat alone, by himself, just as she was. That was different though. In a few minutes, Elle and Morrie would come tumbling downstairs and would plop themselves beside her, chattering animatedly. Who did he have? She didn't think she had really ever seen him being all that friendly with anyone and the thing was he seemed nice, just odd.
Then again, that was the thing that threw her off about him. He acted nice, but he was still so strange, just the way he went about things. He was intelligent too, but almost too much so. He cared more about academics than she did and she found that a bit weird. He just gave her a creepy vibe. He was not to be trusted, she decided.
As she predicted, Elle and Morrie burst into the room. Morrie was obviously harassing Elle about something, causing Lydia to grimace. If Morrie just kept her mouth shut, Elle would not be half as dramatic as she was. Elle stuck her nose up and glared before walking over to Lydia and sitting beside her. Lydia could have laughed. She was trying to look superior by craning her neck and sitting straight, but she looked more like a giraffe than anything else. She didn't say anything though, just observed Morrie prance over to the Gryffindor Table leaning over to talk to a red headed girl, Lily Evans. As Lydia went to grab a piece of toast, Elle grabbed her elbow.
"What?" Lydia asked, looking over at her friend.
"Don't look now, but he's looking at you again," she whispered. Lydia went to turn her head to see who Elle was talking about, but received a hard pinch form Elle. "I said not to look, you moron. Do you want to look like an idiot? You know in Witch Weekly it said Pisces should try to make your first impression the best-"
"Who?"
"Though it really wouldn't be a first impress- what?"
"Who is looking at me?" Lydia said, keeping her voice low.
"OH! Right!" she exclaimed.
"And you're telling me not to draw attention…"
"Sorry!" she said in a shrill whisper. Lydia cringed.
"Could you just tell me who it is?"
"Right..." Her eyes shifted around them, making sure no one was listening, "Remus Lupin," she answered finally.
"Really?"
"Yeah, he's doing it rather blatantly right now. I think he digs you." Elle said, taking a bite of her egg.
"You did not just say he 'digs' me," she said in disbelief.
"Hmm… I did," she chewed, "He is kind of cute… you two would be good together."
"You're kidding!"
"No, really, he's smart and he definitely likes you. Is it just me or do you smell a relationship here."
"All I smell is a crazy girl who wants to get in someone's pants who just happens to be a friend of Remus's," Lydia said knowingly. Elle's mouth opened, looking appalled.
"I resent that!" she screeched, starting to look upset. Lydia sighed.
"Elle, I didn't mean that…"
"Sure you didn't!"
"Well, it's the truth, isn't it?!" Lydia snapped. No matter how good of friends she and Elle were, Elle had really been getting on her nerves with the whole 'boy crazy' act. Sure, she felt bad for Elle with the Sirius situation, but when she tried to hook her up with a friend of the guy she liked, it was too much.
"Fine if that's how you feel-"
"It is," Morrie added, just coming back from the Gryffindor Table, performing her prefect duty by handing out schedules to all the Ravenclaws.
"- then I'm not talking to you!" she yelled, shoving the bench back and stalking out of the hall, a great chip on her shoulder, her nostrils catching the breeze, people staring. Elle, it seemed, just had a way of getting bad attention.
Lydia groaned and put her head in her hands, wanting to disappear. Why was Elle so impossible?
"Well, look on the bright side," Morrie said sarcastically, taking Elle's seat.
"And what would that be?" Lydia grumbled.
"We have double potions first with the Hufflepuffs," Morrie smirked, handing her a schedule. Lydia's eyes widened as she looked down at it for proof of Morrie's statement.
"You've got to be kidding me! The Hufflepuffs will kill us all in potions!"
"Not before they give us a very amusing show," Morrie grinned, jumping up with a piece of toast and throwing her bag over her shoulder, "I'll see you there,"
"See you," Lydia waved her off, grabbing a bagel grudgingly and biting into it fiercely.
What a great start to the day…
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A/N- I am so sorry about the delay! I've been really bad, sleeping over friend's houses when I should be writing! Forgive me!
And behold! Snape is actually in the chapter for more than one MSW page… ok, so he's in it for like a page and a half…I feel bad again…
I really just like this song. It really doesn't have all to do with the chapter… but it just sort of fit… and I don't care what people say about Switchfoot! I think they're cool. I don't think it matters that they're Christian or what. It's just music, if you like it, go with it and that's all I have to say about that…
I'd just like to thank my reviewers who I love… not in THAT way though… you guys are just awesome… that doesn't mean I feel that way though… I'm just gonna stop talking.
Kerichi- I've been playing And She Was all week after that. It's really sad… Don't worry; I'm sure Elle is a good lay. She has to be. I wouldn't do that to her. YES! Down with the Schools! ANARCHY I SAY! …wow, I need to stop… is it sad that all my friends ALWAYS monkey bite each other? So annoying… and it WILL be a long fic. I think it would have to be at the rate I'm going… blue eye shadow and slipping out pet names… lots of amusement for me at Lydia's expense… can see it now…
Miaou- HEY! I put Snape in! Yes! I only had to rack my brain for how to get a real situation… and it unfortunately turned out really cliché… that is ok though… Yeah, I'm really happy about the three girls… they're kind of a bit like the three fairies from Sleeping Beauty in a sense… ok, not really, but I really like those fairies.
Ali- I just love your randomness… and Rupert Grint does have cool shoes! Orange Converse Rock! I have royal blue ones actually.
By the way, my homepage on my Author Page is my Livejournal. My Modblog was eaten or something so it doesn't work, but my Livejournal is a lot better and I put up all sorts of writing up if you want to check it out. I always put up random cookies from Heaven Sent too if you want to get a sneak peek or something. Comment too on anything you read. I like hearing people's opinions on my writing because a lot of it is original.
So yes, that is all for now. Please tell me what you think.
PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE REVIEW! LONG RAMBLY ONES PREFERRED!
I am so sad…