Heaven Sent

Wishing You Were Somehow Here Again

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You were once my one companion
You were all that mattered
You were once a friend and father
Then my world was shattered

Wishing you were somehow here again
Wishing you were somehow near
Sometimes it seemed if I just dreamed
Somehow you would be here

Wishing I could hear your voice again
Knowing that I never would
Dreaming of you won't help me to do
All that you dreamed I could

Passing bells and sculpted angels
Cold and monumental
Seem for you the wrong companions
You were warm and gentle

Too many years fighting back tears
Why can't the past just die?

Wishing you were somehow here again
Knowing we must say goodbye
Try to forgive, teach me to live
Give me the strength to try

No more memories, no more silent tears
No more gazing across the wasted years
Help me say goodbye
Help me say goodbye

Wishing You Were Somehow Here Again- The Phantom of the Opera

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It was late into Saturday night, and Severus and Lydia were stilled holed up in the library, working steadily on the project. Lydia had yet to utter a word since the "incident." It was all too weird- too weird that he could make her stop breathing, too weird that he could make her head flutter, too weird that he could make her stomach drop. She decided the best thing to do was ignore it.

It was around nine thirty when she had last checked, and about half an hour ago, she had taken a count on the work they had done- so far two hundred and forty seven pages were done, but she was sure that they had at least four more done between the two of them since then.

At the moment, she had to admit she was taking a little unofficial break, doodling a nice bordering around her parchment as she went over once more the something that had passed between her and Severus earlier that day. Her thoughts were in turmoil. Did she like him? Was she attracted to him? I mean, how could she be? He wasn't very good looking. Sure, she bet if he cleaned himself up, he might be something to look at with his aristocratic features, but he surely wasn't an eye catcher now. And he was terribly rude and stand offish most of the time, except for those rare instances when he got so involved in something he cared about, you could tell he was not all that jaded.

Then again, he was smart, smarter than most of the boys she knew. Surely smarter than Remus, and… she was comparing him to Remus. That couldn't be good. She had to get off this train of thought now! She didn't like Severus that way, just simply as friends? Well, she didn't really know if they were friends exactly, but maybe accustomed acquaintances-

Her ponderings were suddenly cut off by someone shouting her name, "Miss Lachlan, are you here?" It was a woman's stern voice- Madam Pince?

Alarmed, Lydia turned to Severus, who was looking grim in the direction of the voice. There was another call, but this time it belonged to a man, "Miss Lachlan!"

"Did you tell anyone about this?" Severus hissed, grabbing her arm and gripping it tightly. She winced.

"Morrie," she whispered, "And Remus."

The glare he was giving! Lydia was ready to die on the spot, "You told that mudblood dog and your little boyfriend?"

"Don't call her that!" Lydia said fiercely, but still keeping her voice low, "You have no right! And Remus is not my boyfriend!" she added as an afterthought.

"Miss Lachlan!"

"Whatever helps you sleep at night," he muttered bitterly, "What in Merlin's name brought you to tell them?"

"Because I trust them and they trust me! I couldn't just lie to them!"

"How do you know they aren't lying to you?" He said severely. Lydia was thrown off by this.

"Miss Lachlan!" The calls were getting more frantic, but she ignored them.

"What are you talking about?"

"What? Has Lupin not told you yet?" he scoffed.

"Told me what?"

"What he is- that he's a scum ridden-"

"Miss Lachlan! There you are!" It was Madam Pince, her wand out most likely to break the concealment charm surrounding the area. Dumbledore was standing beside her, "What on Earth are you doing here?"

Lydia was at a loss. She was scared. Why would they be looking for her this late at night? She opened her mouth to say something, but it was Severus who answered, "I'm tutoring Lydia in Defense Against the Dark Arts."

"At nine thirty in the night! It's well past curfew!" Madam Pince roostered, "You could get a suspension for this. How you manage to get past the wards is beyond me!"

"I- I was embarrassed," Lydia managed to choke out, "I didn't want anyone to know I needed help, so Severus agreed to work with me at night."

"Well, that's going to end! This is exactly why we can't have students wandering around at night! We need to find you in case of emergency, not to mention it isn't safe!"

"Is there an emergency?" Lydia looked over to Dumbledore, who had remained silent. His features were set calmly, but darkly like he was deep in contemplation. It set Lydia at unease.

"Yes, Miss Lachlan, I'm afraid there is," the Headmaster said, his twinkling blue eyes staring directly at her, "Perhaps you would like to come to my office to discuss what exactly the situation is."

She glanced nervously to Severus, whose emotions she could not read, "Alright," she said, standing up.

"Irma, could you take Mr. Snape back to his Common Room. I agree it is far too late to be out." The librarian nodded, and gestured to Severus.

"Come on, Mr. Snape." The two walked out of the area into the moments of book shelves. Lydia's gray eyes followed them out.

"Follow me, Miss Lachlan," Dumbledore said, walking out of the library. She followed him, just a little behind him in silence as they went up and down staircases and corridor's to a part of the castle she had rarely been to.

As they stopped outside a statue of an old gargoyle, the Headmaster whispered, "Cockroach clusters," Causing a spiral staircase to appear. Dumbledore stepped on one of the steps, as did Lydia, the steps moving up on their own, reminding Lydia greatly of a muggle contraption she had once been on with her mother.

The first thing Lydia noticed in Dumbledore's office was the enormous amount of books lining the circular walls. Books of all ages, sizes, colors, and subjects reached for floor to ceiling- books Lydia could guess you would not find in the library. On closer examination, Lydia could see all sorts of silver instruments propping books up of whirling about on the shelves. She was most intrigued by a certain figure eight shaped knick knack with golden birds flying through it.

But she was not here to enjoy the atmosphere, and she stood patiently as he took a seat behind his desk. He looked up at her, "Please, Miss Lachlan, have a seat."

"Thank you, sir," she murmured neatly falling into the open chair across from him.

"I am afraid I have some bad news for you."

The feelings of nervousness began to creep over her, tingling her skin. She knew it was important when Dumbledore had called her to her office, "What is it?"

"There was a Death Eater attack made a few hours ago- in Diagon Alley."

Suddenly, she could feel her chest drop in her stomach, and the office blurring before her eyes, "Is he-" Dumbledore cut her off softly.

"Unfortunately, you're father was killed in the attack. I'm very sorry, Miss Lachlan," he murmured.

What? Her head was screaming. What? WHAT? WHAT?!

It was over, just like that? Like some child had flipped a switch t turn off the light? She had know say. He had no say. It was just over?

WHAT?!

Lydia choked on the sobs pushing to come out. She could feel the pressure behind her eyes, and the sudden uncontrollable shaking. Her ears where blocked off and she could only hear her own thoughts whirling in her head.

It was only a few days ago he had sent a letter to scold her. That was the last she had heard from- ever. And now he was gone just like her mother, and with ill parting. She had never written back to say she was sorry, she had never had the time to bring her grades back up, and she had never had the time make up for all her mistakes.

She didn't have the time.

And she regretted it now.

WHAT?!

what?

The aching in her chest was more painful than anything she had ever known, pushing her tears forward and her wails out. She coughed, and could feel her nose running. It was long before she remembered where she was, a handkerchief being put in front of her face. She took it willingly, and used it to dry her eyes, wiping her nose daintily, "I sorry." She sniveled to the older man beside her.

"It's quite alright," Dumbledore said, putting a hand on your shoulder, "I happen to have quite an idea of what you are going through."

what?

She sniffled a bit, "I just… wish we had more time."

"As we all do when we realize that the time has ridden out… Your father loved you very much Lydia, though he may have chosen to show it in a different way."

"I know… He wanted so much of me. I'm afraid I could only give him very little." A tear ran down her cheek.

what?

"There is only so much any of us can do… There is a book I now of. It was one of your mother's favorites in I remember correctly. It seems fit for a situation such as this," The Headmaster moved over to on of the shelves and pulled out a thick, red leather book, handing it to her, "Perhaps you would be interested?"

Lydia ran her hands over the gold spire letter, There and Back Again by Bilbo Baggins and the Lord of the Rings by Frodo Baggins, "What is it about?"

"A great war and the sacrifices that come with it… and the rewards that come with it. I believe you will like it."

"Thank you, Professor…" It was kind of him. She had never read this book before, and if it was a favorite of her mother's…

"I'm very sorry for your loss, Miss Lachlan."

Lydia looked up into his twinkling blue eye's and felt just a bit more at ease. The ache was still there, bet the initial shock and terror was starting to fade. Her father was gone, and while that was sad, she would have to move on.

"I am too… I really should be getting to bed." She said softly, standing up.

"Of course, Miss Lachlan. If you ever need anything, feel free to speak with me."

"I will," she said, heading towards the door, book in hand, "And I'll make sure to get this to you as soon as I am done."

Dumbledore snorted, "Nonsense! It's a gift. Keep it."

"But sir, I couldn't-"

"I think you deserve it, Miss Lachlan, and it's not use to me anymore. I want you to have it," he insisted.

She smiled sadly at him, "Thank you, Professor, for everything."

"Any time, any time…"

"Goodnight," she said, opening the door.

"Goodnight, Miss Lachlan."

Lydia closed the door behind her, moving down the stairs. She walked to her Common Room in silence, holding the new book tight to her body as if for comfort. New tears streamed down her face as her mind traveled back to early Christmases and short walks o Sunday mornings when her mother was still alive. The pain was renewed time and time again every time she could hear a dry humor joke from her mother, and that low rumble of her father's laughter. And when she finally reached Ravenclaw Tower and crawled into her bed, she felt emptier than she ever had, naked and abused.

what?

And the one free thought she had, between all the memories of her parents, was of a dark eyed boy who could make the pain go away.

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A/N- I'm not entirely happy with this chapter. While comedy has always been my forte, drama unfortunately has not. I feel like the emotion I wanted to get across was not happening… so I sort of gave up…

Sorry about the delay, Midterms are this week, so studying has become a recent activity. Not to mention the uber big blizzard going on… can you say "cabin fever?"

I was very proud of myself for picking this song. It's for all of you Phantom fans out there, and I know there are quite a bit of you. I STILL haven't seen the movie! Consider yourselves lucky. Just kidding. I was very close to using the Incubus song Mexico, but I figured that I had too much Incubus already and this would fit much better.

And now to my wonderful reviewers! You guys rock!

An Anti-Sheep Cheese Muffin- sphiffin? Dude, you just rock. You just totally rock just for using the word sphiffin, and for reviewing of course! I'm glad you liked that little bit at the end.

ButterflyOfLothlorien- Thanks! I'm glad you liked the library bit! Maybe I should have Snape/Lydia action more often… attempts to hums nonchalantly…

lhuntathraeil- Thanks for reviewing! I hope you stick with the story!

Skytten334- "In His Eyes" is actually from the musical Jekyll and Hyde, which is amazing and I totally recommend you see it if you haven't. Yes, I was doing a little hint hinting towards Lily and James. What can I say? Hehe…

You're right Morrie is better than Elle! Maybe it's because even if I didn't mean it… Morrie is exactly like me, just a bit exaggerated. It's pretty bad.

Everyone seems to like this Snape and Lydia romance! Maybe you people are trying to knock some sense into me and get me to put out some action! I know I am horrible about that. J

Have no fear, I totally agree with your sentimentality! Why do you think I adore Snape and Malfoy? I'm a sap for bad boys who go good.

Hey, thanks for checking out my livejournal! It's sadly my pride and joy. Feel free to comment or whatever, and if you have one or get one, you have to tell me so I can friend you.

Watch-Da-Rain- I know, I am so sorry about the slow pace. I'm awful about that… Thanks for reviewing! I'm glad you like it.

I just want to let you all know I was invited to my first big dance this week! It's the local private boy's school semi-formal, and I am very excited. One of my friends asked me and he's wicked cool. Plus my best friend is going to with another guy friend of mine. And when I was shopping for a dress with my mom, she insisted I was a size ten because I'm tall or something. After much toil in the fitting rooms, we found that I am NOT a size ten but a size three! Size three! That's the one thing that's similar between Lydia and I- our skinniness, and awkward lanky limbs.

Sorry, I'm a weirdo…

Well, that's all…

PLEASE I BEG OF YOU TAKE MERCY ON MY POOR SOUL AND REVIEW IN LONG AND RAMBLY WAYS! I'LL GIVE YOU COOKIES!