Disclaimed: No sadly I am not the owner of CSI:NY

AN/ I've never actually tried to write something angsty before, not on my own at least, so we'll see how well this goes. I know this is probably full of gramatical errors and miss spellings, but then again, I guess Ican blame it all on beeing Swedish )

The Art of Peeling an Orange
by: La Suede

She could feel the pain where the knife met her skin. She didn't mind, she liked the pain. Whenever she was hurting she would peel oranges and casually ignore the advise she had been given many times before: "don't ever hold the knife over the edge". But she did, she always did. The pain she would feel in her hand would cover for the pain she felt in her heart. The pain she always felt when working on a case concerning an abandoned child.

-o-

I was back in the break room after visiting the baby for the last time, after giving the parents a piece of my mind about leaving your child alone for so long. So I sit here, in one of the hard, black plastic chair pretending that all I'm doing is peeling an orange and that all I want to do when the skin is gone is to eat that orange.

I know that your watching me, and I know that you don't believe in this charade that I put up. But I'm to tiered to try to persuade to believe me, to argue that I, Stella Bonasera, knows my self better than you do. But then again maybe I don't and maybe that is the reason your standing there, because you knew I would return to peel an orange.

Out of the corner of my eye I can see your blurred frame walking towards me, you put your hand on my shoulder and give me one of your special advises that are reserved for me, just me. You tell me that if the past is happy forget it, if the past is sad forgive it, because you can only live now.

Gently you take away the orange, put the knife back in the drawer and reach for my hands to pull me into a standing position before leading me out of the lab. I know were you are taking me and I don't protest, I like being cared for.

And in the end, that is what I want to accomplish when peeling my orange. The attention of Mac Taylor

Fini