Chapter Ten

Whose eyes am I behind
I don't recognize anything that I see
Whose skin is this design
I don't want this to be the way that you see me

Ordinary- Train

I am so proud of Sean right now. He came home and faced his parents. Now here we are at his old house, sleeping in the same room. (Not together of course) He's on the floor and I got the bed.

I can't believe that I saw Jordan. He had always hoped that I would never have to set eyes on him ever again. I guess that wish never came true, along with millions of others. Maybe I'll be lucky and not see him again.

I closed my journal and looked up at the ceiling. Sean's room was a lot like I had expected: small, neat, and very plain. Sean never was very extravagant.

I tossed my journal back in my bag, which was under my pillow. I needed some fresh air, so I got out of the bed and crossed the room. I carefully stepped over Sean, and made my way out of the house.

I sat on the porch steps and looked up at the stars. It seemed like forever since I had done this. Except this time I was alone. More alone than I had ever felt before.

A door opened and closed behind me. I didn't turn around, I already knew who it was. I moved over on the step to make room for Sean to sit down.

"Did I wake you up?" I asked as Sean sat down. He was in boxers and a white wife-beater.

"Nah, I was already up. I heard you writing in your journal thing, then you just got up and left. I figured you'd be out here." He said and leaned back. I assumed that it was so that he could look at the stars too.

"You heard me? Was I being loud or something?" I asked. I didn't want to keep him up when I was writing. I always wrote at night, and if I couldn't do it without letting Sean sleep, there really wasn't much of a reason.

"Yeah. You weren't that loud. I could just hear you writing. It sounded like you had a lot on your mind." Sean said. I looked over at him, only to find that he was looking at me.

"Oh." I said. I could feel my head gravitating towards his. Within seconds our faces were inches apart.

"Emma, I..." Sean started to say, but I cut him off by putting my finger to his lips. They were so soft, and so seductive.

They also drew me back to reality. The reality where Sean was dating Ellie. The one where kids brought guns to school. Where I was alone. Alone in this scary reality. The one place I didn't want to be.

"I need to go to bed." I said and removed my finger from his lips. I got up and want back inside, leaving Sean with his own thoughts.