The card on the flowers did not have a name, but CJ would know that handwriting anywhere. She pressed her thumb to it, trying not to cry.

The wise warrior must consider how ghostly it will be when all the wealth of this world stands, waste, just as now here and there through this middle-earth wind-blown walls stand covered with frost-fall, storm beaten dwellings, men beside the wall. War took some away, bore them forth on their way; a bird carried one away over the deep sea; a wolf shared one with Death; another a man of sad face hid in an earth-pit.

- The Wanderer

I am so sorry, Claudia Jean.

She bit down hard on her bottom lip, willing her seemingly endless strength to return. By the time the President walked into the Oval, it had.

"Hello." Josh was sitting on the floor talking to her stomach, again, as she laid on the couch. She watched him move his hand over her body skimming it with his fingers. Donna took his hand and pressed it down over where she could feel the baby move. He looked up at her with a quirky smile, then back down at her stomach. "Hello there, strong girl."

Josh's face had brightened when the ultrasound technician had asked if they wanted to know.

"You can tell at 17 weeks?"

"I can tell on this one." She had laughed lightly. "Some baby's can't keep secrets."

"Well we know for sure it's your baby now, Joshua." Donna had laughed back.

His eyes had widened when she had said it was a girl, a little Donna running across his mind. He'd looked at her with his dimpled smile and kissed her hand.

"She needs a name." Donna whispered, brushing her finger tips across his still outstretched arm. "Got anything in mind?"

He looked at her, knowing what she was asking. His eyes blinked in consideration. Joana Rebecca was his sisters name.

"We could call her, Becca." Donna continued.

"You've been thinking about this for a while, huh?" His words were light and soft. He started to get up, kissing her stomach before sitting down behind her on the couch.

"Only if you want to Josh."

"Do you? I mean are you sure?" He stumbled over his words. She smiled patiently before repeating herself.

"Only if you want to Josh." She turned her body, dropping legs off the side of the couch. She moved her face close to his.

He nodded his head quickly, trying to keep the tears in his eyes unshed. She could see it was futile. As her smile drew across her face the tears fell down his. He laughed a little at himself before turning her back around to lay against him. He pressed his damp face into her shoulder, smelling her hair and moving his hands down around their daughter. Around Becca.

"Donna?" He said after a few minutes.

"Humm?"

He fumbled with his hand inside his pocket until he found the small velvet box. He opened it and set it on her stomach. She watched it tremble under their little girls movements she touched it. "Do you need the whole candles and roses and down on one knee stuff? If you do I will."

"You know I don't, Josh." She meant it.

"Without you, I'm nothing." He whispered into her ear. "I need you. I love you and I want you to be my wife."

"I want to be your wife."

She sniffed as he pulled the ring from the box and slipping it onto her finger.

"As soon as the election is over, win or loose, lets get married."

"Okay."

"I still don't know how you ended up being twelve and a half weeks pregnant and not having a clue." Ainsley laughed, handing Donna three more pairs of maternity pants over the dressing room door.

"I had lots of clues. I just ignored them." She laughed from the other side. "I have a very demanding job you know."

"So I've heard." Ainsley snorted. She was having a hard time with the idea of 24/7 political life.

"Ainsley Hayes! I will never ever be big enough for these pants!"

"My sister Addison gained 68lbs when she was pregnant with her first." Ainsley's voice was flat. For a while the stall was quiet. Then she heard her hand on the door knob.

"How many babies were actually in there?" Donna asked wide eyed as she cracked the door open.

"Just David, all six pounds of him." She lifted her hands into the air casually.

Donna thrust out a pair of huge pants.

"Put those in the keep pile."

"Hey, how'd it go at the cardiologist?" She'd almost forgotten.

"It was all right. He was concerned with the palpitations, but he was almost certain they were anxiety related. Again the best thing for him to do was to keep treating the PTSD." Ainsley caught the hesitation in her friends voice.

"But?"

"He wants Josh to have some tests. Just to be sure."

"So?"

"He wants to wait until the 'you know what' is over." Ainsley had insisted on no election talk today.

"What did the doctor say?"

"He seemed fine with long as it doesn't get any worse." Donna chucked a shirt over the door. "Keep."

"But?" Ainsley called, straightening the piles of clothes she had sorted.

"The PTSD is in overdrive because of the elec-" She stopped herself. "The 'you know what'. It hasn't been like this since the beginning. He's been having a rough time and I-"

Ainsley coughed suddenly, their alert for intruders, something they used when other people walked by. The secret service had cleared out the boutique, but it still had sales people. You could never caught with out your press voice on.

"Can I help you with anything else?" The door opened and Donna dropped one more thing in the keep pile before pointing to it. "I'll take that."

"Did you see it?" Sam leaned over Josh's desk, getting close enough for his friend to hear his whisper.

"Yeah. It was like watching train wreck." Josh rubbed his hands across his face.

"His defense is defenseless." Sam tossed his hand into the air. "Just because his brother had told him previously doesn't make it any less treason. He still gave up confidential information when he knew it was confidential information."

"I know." He lifted his eyes to meet Sam's. It was three days till election day, and the only thing Josh's busy mind couldn't think of was the election. "We can't talk about this now, Sam."

Sam stood up and nodded.

"Are you going to Texas with Santos tomorrow night?" He asked his friend.

"No."

"No?" Sam looked at Josh. "Monday?"

"No, Sam. I don't want Donna flying." He sighed."Her doctor said it was all right but.." Josh rubbed his face again. He hadn't slept much last night, which stressed Donna out, which stressed him out. "I don't want Donna flying."

"Where is she?" He looked towards Donna's office. He saw Josh shake his head.

"I sent her home to sleep."

"Maybe you should take some of your own advice?" Sam took a minute to really look at his friend. "You look dead." Josh looked up, pressing his lips together.

"I'll sleep in three days." He forced a smile. "I have a teleconference with Santos in ten minutes." He picked up a file and then set it down 's eyebrows furrowed. "Joey Lucas' numbers are still coming in."

"Yeah." He had to say something to fill up Josh's space.

"You still have your press thing before you head out to California." Josh appeared to sigh, Sam was starting to realize it wasn't a sigh."To privately vote in front of four hundred cameras. You'll be with him in Texas, he won't need me."

"You can't do the numbers tomorrow?" He was worried. Ainsley had said Donna was worried.

"I have a thing." He mumbled. "I don't know how long it'll take." Sam noticed how Josh had stopped, again, to take a breath. Something was wrong. "Then Donna has a doctors appointment," Another breath. "We tried to explain to him that," Another breath. "It's kind of a busy time of year for us, he wasn't impressed."

"Josh, go home." Sam looked at him sternly, he didn't like what he saw. "You don't look good."

"It's just stress, Sam." He could tell Josh wasn't sure.

"Are you trying to tell me your not on the verge of an anxiety attack? Because it sure looks like you are." Sam whispered at him harshly. Josh's jaw squared as his eyes narrowed before he looked down. He'd gone too far.

"Sam. I'm busy."

"Josh."

"I'll call you tomorrow before you leave." He never looked back up, Josh watched his shoulders rise and fall quickly.

"Fine." With that Sam had left.

Five PM election day.

"And in southern California this morning Congressman Sam Seaborn the unofficial democratic candidate for vice president cast his vote."

Donna stood behind Josh for a moment. She watched the rapid rise and fall of his chest before he slid down into the chair. Something was wrong. She knew it. She'd thought back to the tests that the cardiologist had recommended but Josh had never scheduled.

'After the election' was his answer to everything.

She'd started telling him 'after the echocardiogram' when he asked her to dothings. He would smile at her and shake his head.

Sam had called her before he left for California, worried that Josh was on the verge of another anxiety attack. She'd thanked him, leaving out that lately Josh always seemed on the verge of one lately.

The beige pills had stopped working last month. The episodes weren't as severe but they seemed to be over nothing in particular. His small meltdowns seemed to be happening more and more often. She wondered if it was about the election or the baby.

She glanced at his damp face as he studied the television screen as if Wolf Blitzer's every move held the key to the election.

"Josh?" She put her hand on his shoulder leaning over to his ear. "What's going on?"

"We're winning an election." He avoided.

"Josh?"

"I'm okay. I.. I'm.." He stopped and looked up at her. She knew he could see the worry on her face. She watched him smile and turn away. "I'm okay."

Josh had a very faint memory of the anxiety attack he'd had at Leo's funeral. He remembered trying to will himself to tell Donna what was happening. It had seemed like a simple thing afterward. He should have told Donna, she'd have held his hand and handed him the pill. Even better? He could have had the pills in his own pocket like he did now. He'd taken it all ready. It hadn't helped.

He still heard the sound of his blood rushing in his ears. The room spun momentarily. Sound fading in and fading out. He tried to look like he was intently watching election coverage. Instead he was intently trying not to hyperventilate.

She had been watching him from across the room, as if what was had been playing out on the screen was unimportant to her. He had wondered now if it was. Lately, all Josh Lyman had been able to think about was them, Donna and their baby girl.

He'd wondered how they would do it. How they would manage to raise a child in the life that they had chosen. He'd known the kind of hours 'west wingers' kept. He knew that Leo's marriage had fallen apart because of his job. He'd known that was not going to happen to him and Donna.

Well once they managed to get married.

Currently, the only thing he knew was that something was not right. He struggled to pull in air fast enough to keep up with what his brain thought he needed. He didn't have the strength to get up now, he couldn't focus against the vertigo that seemed to have engulfed him.

It seemed so simple now as his eyes darted around the room for her. He should have just told Donna. Now he heard her yell his name from somewhere before he lost consciousness and crashed to the floor.