ROBOTECH and its characters are property of Harmony Gold.
April 20, 2010
Can't sleep. God knows how much I need the sleep, but I just can't seem to rest. I found myself wandering the ship aimlessly the other night only to find myself at the door to Lisa's quarters. Lisa's been gone for only five days; it feels like she's been gone forever. I do miss her. Out of all my friends here, she seems to be the only one who understands how I'm feeling and what I'm thinking. She's also the only one out of all my friends who is always up for some coffee and company no matter how late it is. She is usually up working on some report or work-related project, but she never turns down a walk through the quiet, late night streets of Macross to listen to whatever's on my mind.
Since it didn't do me any good hovering before Lisa's quarters, I wandered over to one of the SDF-1's many observation decks. I sat on the bench in front of one of the massive, movie screen-sized windows and watched the Earth. That's when Claudia showed up. We never really spent much time together since Roy's death. The reminder of Roy that we see in each other is too strong, and our grief has not quite abated. By some unspoken agreement, we avoid each other. Not because we dislike each other, but it is still too painful to be near each other. But now there she was, taking the seat next to mine. Claudia's comments gave me new things to think about. I don't doubt my love for Minmei. I loved her since we first met that warm afternoon on Macross Island. And even though her career has taken off, and we haven't seen each other in weeks, I know she still loves me as well. If only Kyle wasn't in the picture taking up all her time. She had such little free time between the recording studio, her acting and agents, and now Kyle… Things would be fine if we got to spend more time together. Claudia insinuated that Lisa would be a better fit for me. I just couldn't think that. We're just really good friends, so why jeopardize that? Even if she's a good kisser…. that was a surprise of surprises. Up until the point when we were in captivity, I had always thought Lisa to be a cold, career-woman, but that kiss showed a shadow of a different side to Lisa. I sometimes do wonder what that different side of Lisa would be like, but we're too good friends to try that path.
I would never have thought the "old Sourpuss" would become one of my best friends here. But then again, the experiences we lived through and the fact that we're both military bind us together. Lisa may not exactly fill the void Big Brother had left behind, but she really helped in the healing process. She had already known what it's like to say good-bye to friends and loved ones who were killed in action. She knew exactly when to say something comforting and exactly when to listen. I know Lisa was grieving Roy's loss as well, as well as see her best friend Claudia go through the unimaginable loss of losing a fiancé. Despite her own grief, Lisa was such a rock to both Claudia and myself. Sometimes I am just so awed at how strong Lisa is, and want desperately to be half as strong as she is. Thinking back to that message I coded to her before she made her descent to earth, I wish I said more.
I gazed at the swirls of weather patterns, the large oceans and patches of dry and fertile lands. I watched the Earth, making out the familiar shapes of the continents…. looking for Alaska. Alaska wouldn't show up to view for another several hours, and for now I've got all the time in the world.