Disclaimers: Gravitation does not belong to me. It belongs to its respected creator, Maki Murakami, and all characters depicted in these fictional situations belong to her. I get no profit from this.
Warning: …Well, there's really no reason for any warning in this chapter. Ahahaha…
Their professions were completely different, and yet, they were really very similar.
The singer and the writer, the vocalist and the novelist, and the musician and the author. Most people would say that these are completely different titles. However, there were certain elements involved in one that could be considered a mirror image of the other. Remarkably so, in fact.
Shuichi's latest song was an example of this. It was a work in progress, and he wasn't sure whether he was satisfied with it, let alone release it to the public. With the vague entitlement, it was natural that most people would not get the loose connotation with his personal life. However, a few clever individuals (well, all right, Bad Luck fanatics who knew more than probably necessary about Shuichi's life) would get the meaning of the mysterious label easily. Shuichi doubted that was a good thing.
If only your voice would rise above a whisper
When you look at me that way
Tell me, what is it that you want?
I can barely understand
The first flakes of winter are blinding my vision
Blinding me to all else
I'm not scared, just a little bit wary
Tell me if I'm going in too deep.
Pandora's box forbids me
Future's MIRROR leaves me face to face
Opposite and yet so similar
Tell me if I'll wake up tomorrow alone
I can't see the SNOW anymore
Allow me to be a little self-centered
Let me find your center
Drown me in ebony-stained WHITE
Of course, to most of the fans, it was just another collection of pretty words with a soothing, uncharacteristically calm melody. Only Shuichi knew every single connection with each line and verse. Yuki would probably see the message too, though Shuichi was wary of showing it to him. His pride was at stake here.
Most of the time, he always showed Yuki his lyrics, and Yuki would almost always dub them 'worthy of a second-grade poetry contest,' 'cliché,' 'idiotic,' etcetera, etcetera, etcetera. When he didn't say things like that, he would usually just smirk and hand the lyrics back to Shuichi without a word, and give a small but approving nod. Shuichi noticed that these songs happened to do the best in the charts.
As Shuichi held the paper in his hands, he scanned the hastily scrawled hiragana and occasional English phrases. A tiny smile twitched at his lips. He decided that he was definitely going to run this by the other members of Bad Luck. But this time, he wasn't going to show the lyrics to Yuki first for two reasons, both of them linked to fear. Fear that a song that he had poured so much heart into would be dubbed 'zero talent' by his oh-so-blunt lover, and fear of what he'd say about it. Yuki was an intelligent person, and would most definitely see past the encrypted messages. Even if Yuki heard him singing or just found a copy of the lyrics, Shuichi knew he'd find out about them eventually. He'd cross that bridge when he came to it.
Placing the paper on the table, Shuichi scribbled the title on with flourish: "Snow".
I'm sure that this seems completely unrelated to the point made before. Why are Shuichi and Yuki's professions so alike? Be patient, I'm getting there.
Yuki never showed Shuichi any of his books. Shuichi had never really taken an interest in reading them, either. Of course, he would blather on endlessly about how good of a writer his Yuki was, or how talented he was, on and on and on. Still, Yuki had never seen him pick up one of his books or even attempt to skim through one. With most people in this situation, it would probably leave the person hurt or angry that their partner wasn't taking any sort of time to read their work. Yuki, always seeming to be the exception to the rule when it came to normal emotion, was completely fine with it. More than fine with it, in fact. Certain scenes or parts in his books would inadvertently get rather personal, but seeing as only a small inner circle knew of his past nobody put two and two together. People just assumed that they came from the frames of his mind, his allegedly 'wonderful yet somewhat dark' imagination.
Yeah, right.
But as of late, Yuki would find his writing heading towards a different aspect of his life. He didn't know whether that was a good thing or a bad thing. It probably meant that he was getting less preoccupied with the past and more with his present. At least, that's what his therapist had told him. Honestly, though, it frightened him a little. This person; how could he have such an impact on his life?
"I don't understand you," she whispered, clenching her eyes shut as if in pain. Her beautiful, soulful orbs gazed at him, wishing, praying for explanation.
Unabashedly, rough hands met soft, gentle skin. A tentative finger brushed away the tears gathering at her eyes.
"I don't understand you, either," he murmured, "What in the world do you want me to do?"
It was, no doubt, a strange occurrence. For one reason or another he felt drawn to her, like it was so completely natural. It was never like this with anybody else. What was wrong with him? What was right with him?
Lips met lips, their silhouettes blending together by the light of the moon. Moments passed, almost feeling like an eternity. The two fell together as one.
Sometimes, Yuki wouldn't even catch these 'mistakes' until his editor pointed out certain scenes.
"It seems so real," She'd remark breathlessly, as if overwhelmed by simple stories. "It's like I can feel the character." Being the way he is, Yuki just brushed it off and said he thought it was trite.
Sometimes the blonde considered leaving certain scenes in, but more often that not cut them out. There was a one-in-a-thousand chance that Shuichi would pick up one of his books, and even less of a chance that Shuichi would make the connection. Let's face it; Eiri Yuki has a rather dense lover. Still, it wasn't a chance that the man was willing to take. His pride was at stake here.
In spite of himself, once in a while Yuki actually left these more personal tributes in his books. It was usually in a moment of spontaneity, and he would always regret it later. To his surprise, these times were when the books would sell the best. Interviewers would spout the same overly flattering blabbers of a lovesick teen, saying how heart-wrenching his books were. They would actually point out the same scenes that he almost took out and praise them endlessly to the point of rambling. Of course, in his typical 'Novelist Yuki' idiom, would make some psuedo-intellectual remark and move on.
But to be honest, he didn't like reading over his books and finding those little tidbits. He'd never been bothered by it before when he would write with the loose associations of that night with Kitazawa. This was different, though. They just seemed so personal, like he was revealing a part of his soul to the public that he wouldn't care to show. It scared the crap out of him, to put it less eloquently.
There was one piece he was particularly fond of, though. He couldn't help but leave it in, even if it would embarrass him later.
"Don't be ridiculous," Torako whispered, her hands shaking slightly.
"Don't be ridiculous!" Her voice rose rapidly, suddenly capturing the two in an almost possessive meeting of lips before Shinji could even react.
"So what if I push you into a corner? Don't think that you can get away from me!"
The man's eyes hardened, but she didn't hesitate or shy away. Perhaps the woman had become accustomed to that icy stare. Her eyes held a certain flame that Shinji was not unaccustomed to. Her face was inches away from his own, forcing the man to hold her unwavering gaze.
" You can run or you can die, but I'll find you!" Her grip on his shoulders tightened, and she averted her eyes. For a moment she paused.
"Why?" She asked quietly, as if sensing his next question. Her red hair obscured her face in the dark room, and suddenly her head was level with his in a moment of fierce intensity.
"Because I love you, Shinji!"
Yuki wondered what would happen if Shuichi read that particular book of his. Even he, as dense as he was, would figure it out. His reaction to it would be probably be as it always was, unpredictable and most likely wild and over the top. That was Shuichi; that was his way of doing things. But he'd think about that later. He placed a copy of the book on his desk, turning out the light and stepping towards his bedroom. By the dim illumination of the streetlights outside, the title was barely visible. In block, bold print letters above his name was the word "Home."
What was so similar about their two professions? You must be wondering that by now. It was easy, really. They could both say "I love you" but never have the other one know. But hopefully, they both will wake up one day and say: "Screw pride."
Author's notes: Well, this isn't my favorite chapter, but it's not the worst thing I've ever written. Those of you who have watched the Gravitation anime will recognize the two scenes between "Torako" and "Shinji." (I picked random names that I was familiar with.) Only later did I remember that Shinji is the main character in Neon Genesis Evangalion, but it seems like a common name so… whatever. I've never watched Neon Genesis Evangalion though, maybe I should… Oh, and Torako is a very minor character who shows up in one of my favorite mangas, Yotsubato (Also known as Yotsuba&! in America.) "Tora" means tiger, and that definitely suits Shuichi in my opinion. Oh, and about the lyrics that were in the beginning, I wrote those myself. I tried to make it in sort of a Bad Luck-ish style, and I can safely say I failed miserably. Woo! Anywho, the words in capital letters, if you didn't figure this out already, are in English.
To all of my reviewers and people who have put me on their "favorite story" or "favorite author" lists, thank you so much! I never expected to get so many reviews so early and with so few pieces. You guys are awesome, and I hope you enjoy the next chapters of my little drabble collection, "Two"!
