Eli- Hmmm…we're back…again…for the third time….in less then 24 hours….Now we still don't own anything…and we're too broke to buy Starbucks…so yeah…first we can't get JK Rowling brainwashed and now they won't let us take over Starbucks…oh well

Kippa- Cursed Starbucks, I even tried to blackmail them.. But I guess the tape on those nudie pictures wasn't indivisible like the box said it was.. Curse you Starbucks! You wicked fiend!

Eli- Okay….so….I'm bored….. goes back to drawing half naked Harry And…Eli is pronounced E-lie.

Kippa - Stares at the drawing for a bit, drooling, then snaps out of it. Anyways, on with the show, right?

Wake me up on my Deathbed

June 27, 1996, 11:42 A.M.

Eli, Kyle, and Kippa grinned faintly at each other, their eyes staring over at the clothes in the windows of various clothing stores. Now, these girls weren't normal, not for you Muggles anyways, they're witches, transfer students from Salem. Though the school year wouldn't start until September, and it was only June. As they walked, they had a very lively conversation..

"Stupid fucking muggles…" Kyle said, "Wait…I know what we should do now…we should go get our hair done!"

"No," Kippa said flatly.

"Yes we should! C'mon Kip, we must make ourselves look pretty for all the pretty Hogwarts girls and boys…well, mostly girls…but still."

Eventually, Kyle and Eli dragged Kippa to a hair salon. After a few hours, Kyle emerged with shoulder length brown hair, Eli with black ear length hair, and Kippa with burgundy hair barely passing the nape of her neck.

"Hey, you guys, I'll be back in a minute…or seven…" Eli said running following an ice cream truck. "You fucking ice cream truck…come back." Eli yelled after the truck. Kippa rolled her eyes, Kyle did the same, then both took off after her, but paused after a few feet, their eyes glued on two people in an alleyway.

"Hey, Eli!" Kyle yelled, "Get your ass over here!"

"I KNEW YOU WANTED MY ASS!"

Kippa laughs faintly, then yelled out jokingly, "No, love, that's me!"

"YAY! THREESOME TONIGHT, MY BED!"

"Just get over here, Eli. Or, we can burn your pictures of…you know what."

"Alright…" Eli muttered walking back to the two girls.

"I knew you two were taking pictures of me in the shower!" Kippa said accusingly.

"Not the shower, babe, when you're changing," Eli said laughing.

:"Thank god you guys don't while I'm sleeping," Kippa giggled, she wore no clothes when she slept, excluding a pair of whitey tighties.

"Well, that's only because you are a fucking bitch who is a stick." Kyle said sticking her tongue out.

"You shouldn't be talking, m'dear. And Eli! We actually had a reason for calling you back!" Kippa pointed towards the alleyway towards the two nearly forgotten figures laying on the ground.

"Lookie, it's a pretty girl. Kip, can I have her…she's pretty…" Eli said.

"Sorry to burst your bubble, but it looks like those two are dating," Kyle said guessing.

Kippa flipped Eli the bird, before muttering, "Don't call me Kip, Ellie."

Eli growled and ran towards Kippa knocking her over. "Don't fucking call me fucking Ellie. That's a fucking chick's name you bitch." Eli then pulled her hair and walked away.

"Again, your bubble has burst. YOU, Eli, are a girl."

"Don't make me attack you." Eli growled.

Kippa nursed her wounded hair, before jumping up and tackling Eli to the ground, "You idiotic bitch! How dare you! You called me Kip, so you should've fucking known I'd call you Ellie!" Spits at, but misses purposely, then gets off of, her arms crossing under her breasts, muttering "Bitch."

Kyle pointed to the figures saying, "And what about the two people?"

"Rape them?" Eli said, her eyes fixed on the blond.

"How about no.. Let's just.. I 'unno, not rape them?" Kippa's voice dripped with bitchiness.

"But she's so pretty…."

"Hun, " Kyle said, "If…you can get her to agree, you can date. No fucking, raping, love making, having sex, or whatever else your mind can think of."

"So no bondage?"

"None.. Unless you let me borrow some of your gear.." Kippa grinned.

"No, no bondage." Kyle nodded her head sharply.

"Bitch.." Spoke the burgundy haired girl, shooting Kyle a glare.

"That's what I'm here for.." The brown haired girl grinned. "Now, back to the people…."

"Why is it we seem to always get off the topic of those people..? Honestly, while we're here arguing, Eli could be raping the blond.." As she spoke, she reached over, holding onto Eli's shirt collar.

"So, are we going to help them?"

"Dunno, Kyle, what do you think Eli?"

"Yes, we should help them…and the blond can sleep in my room with me."

"Damn you, Eli, the blond is staying on the couch."

"Awww…but why. My bed's plenty big enough."

"It's a fucking twin size."

"Exactly, Kippa, twin means two, duh!"

"And people told me I needed to be in special ed. Classes.." Kippa muttered, glaring towards Eli.

"I'm just saying that twins are two people..meaning two people could, if they wanted to, fit on a twin sized bed."

"An, sort of like those blankets that barely cover a person, yet they are suppose to cover a twin sized bed?" Kyle perked a brow, eyeing Eli.

"Why do you think I have a queen sized blanket…fuck it. Plus, I have my many fuzzy blankets."

"You mean handcuffs.." Kippa snickered, taking a few steps towards the two in the alley, seeing that they kept getting lost in their conversations over nothing.

"Not handcuffs…I left those back in the states," Eli spoke exhaustedly.

"Note to self, keep bedroom door locked at all times.." Kyle shook her head slowly, in shame.

"But…I thought you wanted to fuck me…WHY DOESN'T ANYONE WANT TO FUCK ME?"

"Because you keep yelling about people fucking you, and they probably think you have AIDS." Spoke the burgundy haired girl, who was kneeling down by the two unconscious people.

"MINE!" Eli said running over to the blond caressing her.

"With your luck, that blond'll be a boy.." Kyle muttered, hands shoving into her pockets as she followed her 'friends'.

"Heeeeey! This guy's gotta scar on his head.. can I poke it!" Kippa suddenly seemed a lot more hyper..

"Hey," Eli said examining the raven haired boy with the scar… "Isn't this…Harry Potter?"

"Wait…how would you know?" Kyle asked.

"Because she has his pictures," Kippa said loudly.

"Do not, dude, Harry Potter is like the super wizard."

"Wait.. Isn't there someone called that on that show.. The Justice League?" Kyle said excitingly.

"No! Wait….is there…?" Eli tilted her head a bit.

"You bloody Americans!" Some random British guy yelled into the alley after passing by.

"Screw you too, bustard!" Kippa cursed, giving the man the bird.

"Right, that's getting along with the natives real well, Tia." Kyle rolled her eyes.

"I'll hex you when we get to school.."

"And now we should grab the two people and go home," Eli said making sense for once.

"Wow, Eli's smart for once.. Outside of class that is.." Kippa blinked, then nodded her head, pulling the raven haired guy's arm up around her shoulder, then standing. "God this guy's a twig.. And I thought I was skinny.."

"I'm carrying the blond girl!" Eli said picking the blond up. "You know…this girl's really flat chested, like AAA or something."

"Big turn off, right?" Kyle snickered when Eli nodded.

"That's why I'm happy I got boobies!" Kippa wiggled her chest, sort of forgetting the guy who's arm she had wrapped around her neck.. if he was awake, she was sure he'd either grope her, or run away embarrassed. "That way, if I get a girlfriend, or boyfriend, I don't need to play with their boobies! I got mine!"

"And these are my friends.." Kyle muttered under her breath, watching Eli trying to grope the unconscious blond..

"Ugh! No boobs at all.." Eli pouted faintly, "Oh well, she's still pretty!"

"And they say sex doesn't control the teenage mind now-a-days.." Kyle rolled her shoulders in a shrugging motion, walking out of the alley. "Ah.. Which way's the house again..?"

"It's by the Quiznos!" Eli spoke happily.

"Right across the street from that Starbucks.." Kippa nodded, blinking widely.

"But.. there's none of those around here.."

"'Course not, we used floo powder, or did you forget?" Eli smiled childishly.

"Crap.. Any of you got money for a cab?" Kyle looked back at the two holding the sleeping people.

"Ehm.. Maybe? We could just pay when we got home.. I'm sure whoever gives us a ride will wait if we promise to pay extra.. Or we can have Eli flash the driver."

"Why me!" Eli shouted, her eyebrows furrowing downwards slightly.

"Because you screw anything with either reproductive organ, and you flashed my cat.." Kyle just added the last bit on for no reason what so ever..

"But…the pretty blond angel's here…."

".. Fine! I vote Kyle does it, seeing that she doesn't have to carry anyone around!" Kippa declared, Eli nodding, "And you're outvoted, so you must! Take one for the team!"

"Eh.. crap.. Ah, Eli, I'll trade you!"

A loud growl emerged from Eli's throat, moments later Kyle had a large bruise on her cheek and a forming mark from being bitten. "MINE!"

"And I'm a bitch?" Kippa blinked at the actions that had just taken place in front of her. Rolling her eyes, she stuck her hand out, then whistled loudly, and finally yelled out, "TAXI!"

Three cars passing the alley stopped, two of them weren't even cabs.. Kyle shook her head, muttering to herself as she got into the cab, Kippa rejoicing, slipping into the backseat as well, Eli snickered, groping the blond's 'chest' again, before sliding in after Kippa.

"Where you girls going?" The driver looked back, smiling friendly-like.

"9324 Parkend Drive." Eli muttered.

"Look Kyle…she remembered something."

"SHUT UP KIPPA!"

"Girls, stop fighting. Otherwise, no TV. tonight," Kyle said.

"We'll be good…"

"Really good…Eli will even stop groping…"

"I didn't agree to that…"

Kyle laughed faintly, feeling the car move, meaning that they'd be home soon.. Thank whoever what in that forsaken sky.

"Of course you did, when you said we'll be good." Kippa defended.

"I said I'd be good, I said nothing from stopping sexual acts…today anyways…"

"Looks like someone will be going to Sex-aholics Anonymous."

"Fuck you, Kip."

"Screw off, Ellie."

"You girls are from the states, aren't you?" The driver spoke good heartedly, "No girls around here talk like that.. Or I've never heard them talk like that in public."

"Didn't I tell you guys to be good?" Kyle growled at the two arguing girls in the back seat with her, then looked to the front, nodding, "Yeah, we seem to have a thing called free speech.."

The driver stopped talking after that. "So, Kyle…is groping still okay?" Eli asked.

"Yes, groping is okay…for the most part."

"Yes! See told you groping is fine, Kippa."

"Whatever, you're just mad 'cause you're a girl.."

"Look who's fucking talking bitch."

"Atleast I can admit it, dear." Kippa smiled sweetly, anger present in her eyes.

"Just wait until your mother and father hear about what you really did with those girls in your room at your last birthday."

"And just wait until your parents hear about all those STDs you have from all those 'partner's you've had yourself.."

"They weren't real partners, duh..if you were even a little smart you would have realized that I haven't done anything besides groping…pervert."

"THAT'S A FUCKING LIE AND YOU KNOW IT!" Kippa snapped, her voice growing louder as she spoke, the driver trying to hush her from up front.

"Okay..there were only…one…two..seven….Only fucking seven….and six of them were girls!"

"You still probably got a few STDs from them too, whore.." She spoke the last word playfully.

"Well, better then the…what was there…fourteen girls you had at your last birthday..and we all know you did some things besides fucking groping as well." Eli said with slight entertainment in her voice.

"Ah, most were groping and making out, others well.. I'll let your imagination fill in the rest.." She winked, "But remember, I didn't even try lying, hoe."

"Bitch."

"Slut."

"Whore."

"Dyke."

"DYKE ON BIKE."

"Ten cent alleyway hooker."

"Hey, I don't have to pay people to fuck me…"

"Yeah, you give yourself away for free."

"Fuck you."

"SHUT THE FUCK UP," Kyle yelled. Kippa and Eli looked at each other and momentarily shut up. After around twenty minutes, the three were home, dragging their newly found captives behind them.

"So.." Kippa blinked at the two after laying them on the couches..

"Let's dress them up in pretty clothes!" Eli grinned widely.

"I'm in," Kippa stated.

"As am I," Kyle said jumping up and down.

"Someone's maturity just leapt out the window.." Kippa blinked at Kyle and her actions.

"Someone help me take off the chick's pants.." Eli said attempting to pull the blond's pants off.

"Sure!" Kyle leapt at the chance, giving the pair of pants a hard tug.

"Eh, Eli, you hot blond chick.. is wearing boxers.."

"Well, I wear boxers, sometimes, they're comfy…Oooo, can we change her boxers?"

"I have no objections!" Kyle and Kippa yelled simultaneously, now three pairs of hands pulling at the boxers.

"What the fucking hell!" Eli said looking at the new found out male's.. package. "But…but…he's too pretty to be a guy.." Eli said crying. "If you too need me..I'll be in my room." Eli said stalking off, sulkily.

"Heeeyy! Don't you still want to make them look pretty? I mean, we could make them both wear girl clothes to get back at that blond guy for tricking you…" Kyle spoke thoughtfully.

"Well….I guess so…." Eli said wiping her tears away.

"Yeah! We can make them both wear those lacy thongs that aren't in use!" Kippa giggled..

"I'm on it!" Kyle said running to Eli's and Kippa's rooms grabbing a thong from each.

"I got a blue and black lacy one! I hated this thing.. too lacy, itched too much." Kippa spoke the last bit to herself…

"I have a green and silver one.." Kyle waved it in the air excitedly.

"Now, you two put the thongs on and I'll go get the pants," Eli said excitedly.

The thong bearers nodded at the one running off to get the pants, then Kippa put the blue and black thong on the blond, while Kyle took off the 'Super Wizard's' pants and boxers, replacing them with the silver and green thong.

"Hey guess what…guess what!" Eli said bouncing off the floor and ceiling.

"What?" The two changing the captives looked up at the bouncer.

"I got bondage pants, tight ones," she said holding them up.

"Ah, I say those go on the Potter guy." Kyle nodded, "We should make the blond wear a skirt for making poor Eli cry, the basturd."

"Skirt, fishnets, and hooker boots," Kippa said.

"And a tubetop!" Eli exclaimed.

"Let's give Potter a bra, and stuff it! A strapless one for tubetop boy." Kyle snickered.

The three began their work, after the clothes, bringing in make up, jewelry, and boots.

"I think I'd screw them.." Kippa said thoughtfully after they finished their work.

"Who wouldn't? Especially, the angel?" Eli said drooling.

"I'm locking you in your room tonight.. the both of you." Kyle warned..

"But what about you, Miss I'm-going-to-jump-at-the-chance-to-undress-them?" Eli questioned semi-angrily.

"Yeah!"

"Alright, how about we just lock them in a room, and like.. hide the key from ourselves or something..?" Kyle shrugged, attempting to look bored.

"I guess so…we can't really jump them in their sleep…unless it's rape. Eli has enough of those charges on her for all five of us in here." Kippa stated.

"HEY!"

"It's true, Eli," Kyle said softly.

"It was only a grope or two…"

"Or seventy three.." Kippa playfully whispered.

"Let's take them shopping," Eli randomly said.

"They're passed out."

"Oh yeah…sorry Kyle."

A/N: Really Random…

Eli: Yea…but hey..people review us

Kippa: And you've found out the girl isn't a girl, but a boy..! And you know the guy is Potter, so who's the blond? Can ya' guess? Huh? I ain't telling! MWAHAHAHAHA!

Eli: DestinyEntwinements- You're now Kippa's favorite…and no cookies…they…um…disappeared…

Kippa: Thank you, DestinyEntwinements, if you could send me your address, I'll make a house call.. Wink.

Eli: Don't worry, I won't let her come over…she's too busy whoring people (like me) out to random people….so if you could…save me!