This is a much longer chapter than normal, during which I get to indulge inmy favourite pastime: making Kai go nuts! This is the penultimate chapter, people, so can I just say thank you all for staying with me this entire fic. I love you all. :)
Kai leaned against the wall, eyes flicking aimlessly around the reception area. He'd plucked up enough courage to ask the receptionist where Max was. He was just having trouble forcing himself to actually go. No hospital memory he had was good. Like the time when he'd been in to visit a mate back in his gang days, rolling drunk, passed out, and ended up in a hospital bed with blood poisoning. It'd taken him three days to remember who he was, let alone where he was, and five unsuccessful escape attempts before they'd realised that he was terrified of hospitals. Result, another five days on sedation until he was well enough to get out of there. It'd taken him at least three fights to regain his reputation after that'd got around. Or, the time when he was only four and his grandfather had whipped him senseless, then beaten him again when he had woken up and told the hospital staff what had happened. That'd been awful, no-one had believed him either after his grandfather had been for a 'little talk' with the clinical director, probably told them he was mental or something. Mind you, that had been a Russian hospital, and had probably been on Voltaire's extensive pay roll. But, the worst memory he had, also in a Russian hospital now he came to think of it, he'd been even younger, two, maybe three tops…
He had been admitted with something, he couldn't remember what, but it must have been pretty serious, because he remembered the ambulance sirens and flashing lights. Anyway, when he'd got there, a nurse had been standing over him, a needle in her hand. He could still remember exactly what she'd said:
"Hello, sweetie. I'm just going to give you something to make you go to sleep, then when you wake up, you'll feel ever so much better. Now, just hold out your arm, that's it, well done!" He remembered what the needle had looked like, going in. It hadn't hurt, though. That had come later.
"Now, you're going to go to sleep for a while. If you need anything when you wake up, just press this teeny little button here, see? There's a good boy! Have a nice sleep." She had given him a gentle pat, then walked out. He remembered the confusion he'd felt. The only kindness he had known back then was when one of the older boys took his beatings for him, and here was this strange lady being so nice to him. It had been very confusing, but the drug he'd been given had kicked in quickly, and he had fallen asleep, just as she'd said he would.
When he had woken up… Oh hell, he didn't want to remember this bit-damn it, too late…
Nurse Smith heard the tiny bleep of the alarm go off in the middle of her cup of tea. She looked down at it.
"Who've you got?" asked one of the other nurses.
"Room 27." she answered. "Poor little blighter probably doesn't know where he is."
"Who's that, Kai Hitwarti? He's cute isn't he? Grandfather's a right bastard, excuse my French."
"Yeah. He's only two. Suspected meningitis."
"Ooh, nasty!"
"Mm. I reckon his grandfather hits him, y'know. I gave him a pat and I swear he thought I was going to hit him! Huh, I'm probably just rambling. I'd better get going - oops, there he goes again - save me a space at lunch, yeah?"
"Yeah, sure."
'If you need anything, just press the button.' He'd done that, but nothing had happened. So, he did it again. Then he lay back in the strange bed and closed his eyes. When he opened them again, he started to scream with panic. Why was everything not the right shape, and going all swirly?
"Stop moving!" he whispered feebly at the wildly swaying walls. His arm hurt. He was cold… What was happening?
The nurse opened the door and gasped. The two year old was screaming, tears pouring down his face as he writhed about on the bed, clutching a swollen, bleeding arm.
"Sweetie-pie, what's wrong?" she said gently, rushing over and carefully holding his hot, clammy arm, slamming her hand into the panic button. Kai whimpered as a disfigured monster leaned over him, then grabbed his arm. He howled with fresh fear, spitting out words into the distorted, swirling room.
"Cold, go 'way! All swirly, make it stop, make it STOP!" he screamed desperately. Two doctors hurried into the room, stopping dead when they saw what was happening.
"Nurse Smith! What is going on?"
"I don't know, I think it might be an allergic reaction to the morphine, he's panicking badly."
"Yes, thank you, we can see that. Now then, Kai, just let us have a look at you…"
"No! Go 'way!"
Kai shuddered. That had to be one of the worst moments of his life. And he had a lot to choose from. Automatically, he reached down and grasped his arm, where the needle had gone in. There was still a small scar there. That little episode had been the main reason that he was so scared around hospitals. And needles. He shook himself violently. He'd spent enough time thinking. Either he was going to meet up with the others, or he was going out of this hospital and never coming back in unless he was unconscious. He was halfway towards the exit when he stopped himself. No. He was going to do this. He was.
Ray and Hilary walked towards the room they'd been told Max was in. Hilary spotted Tyson and Kenny leaning against the wall and waved frantically. Tyson looked up.
"Hi, guys!" he said, running over to them. "What happened to you?" he asked, gesturing to Ray's leg.
"Thomas." said Ray flatly.
"Ah. Where's Kai?"
"Outside."
"Okay. Wanna come sit down?"
"Yeah, you bet!" said Hilary. "Ray weighs a ton!"
"Well, thanks very much!"
"Oops, sorry!" Hilary giggled. The three of them moved over to where Kenny was sitting.
Kenny raised his head.
"Oh, hi you two!" he said vaguely, before disappearing behind his laptop screen again.
"Anti-social as always, Chief!" Tyson grinned, slapping him on the back. "Wotcha working on?"
"Something." Tyson shrugged and turned back the other two.
"How's your arm?" Hilary asked.
"Oh yeah, I'd forgotten about that!" said Tyson, looking with interest at his bandaged arm. He prodded it experimentally. "Ow!"
"Yup, it's fine!" laughed Hilary.
"So, you guys wanna see Max?" Tyson asked, wincing as he flexed his arm.
"Of course!" said Hilary, surprised.
"Well, you can go in once his mum and dad are out."
"Max's dad's here? I thought he was in Japan?" Ray said.
"He was!"
"Oh, right. He got here quickly!" The door opened and Max's mum and dad stepped through.
"Oh, hello you two!" Judy smiled. "I suppose you want to say hello to Max?"
"Uh huh."
"Okay, come through here."
"What, more visitors? How popular are you, Max?" the nurse joked. "Yes, of course they can come in, but only five minutes, and don't go getting him excited. He really should be resting, but…" She winked cheerfully at them, holding the door open.
"As if!" said Hilary, nudging Ray. Ray smiled thinly, still angry. Hilary rolled her eyes and made for the door. A hand on her arm stopped her. She swung round to face Tyson.
"Hey, Hil," he said, shifting about uncomfortably. "About yesterday…I'm sorry, yeah?"
"It's okay, Tyson!" Hilary said lightly, grinning. "I forgive you!" Tyson's face shone with relief.
"Thanks." he said quietly. Hilary flashed him another smile and followed Ray through the door. Thank goodness for that! It was brilliant that Tyson wasn't mad any more. Now, she just had to work on Ray…
"Hiya, Max!" Hilary said, as her and Ray stepped up to the hospital bed. "How are you?"
"Tired." came the faint reply as Max pulled off his oxygen mask. Hillary took a closer look at Max. The younger boy looked drained and pale, wires sprouting everywhere.
"Yeah, you don't look all that good." she admitted.
"Thanks! I think I liked it better when I was really sick, at least I didn't feel so bad! And, I didn't know about these things." Max said, glancing disdainfully at the IV in his hand. Leaning his head back wearily, he suddenly noticed a patch of red on Hilary's cheek. "What's that?" he asked, gesturing weakly.
"Oh, nothing." Hillary said evasively. Max cocked his head to one side inquiringly. Suddenly, his breath caught in his throat. Hilary handed him the oxygen mask and helped him slip it on, watching as his laboured breathing slowed. Ray limped up to the bed.
"Hi Max. Yeah, Kai hit her." he said bluntly.
"Oh, hi Ray-he did what?" Max gasped, struggling up onto his elbows and ripping off the oxygen mask. It was an unspoken rule in the group; don't hit Hilary, whatever you do. They could take chunks out of each other, but they could never, ever, hit Hilary. Hilary desperately tried to smooth things over.
"It was nothing, really, it didn't hurt-"
"Like hell it didn't-" Max broke off mid-sentence, flopped back onto the bed and began coughing violently, his whole body shaking.
"Alright, alright, out!" ordered the nurse, hurrying over to Max. "Now then Max, what did I say to you about getting excited? No, don't try and talk…" The nurse's voice faded away as Hilary and Ray walked quickly towards the door.
"How could you?" Hilary hissed furiously once they were outside, Tyson and Kenny having gone to get more food. "You knew it would make Max angry, so why did you do it? The nurse disobeyed orders to let us in, and this is what you do?"
"He wanted to know." Ray said calmly.
"Yes, but there is such a thing as a white lie, you know! You saw how ill he was, you knew what it would do, why-" Giving up in disgust, Hilary pulled her arm from around Ray's shoulders and started to stalk away, narrowly avoiding somebody coming down the corridor the opposite way. Muttering a curt apology, she dodged out of the way and ran into the toilets, the one place where she could be sure that no one would follow her.
Ray swayed and nearly toppled, grabbing hold of a door handle to stop himself from falling. Damn it! He steadied himself and looked in the direction Hilary had gone. He was so stupid! He had let his anger at Kai take over, and he'd taken it out on Hilary and Max. When she came back, he would apologise, and he supposed he ought to apologise to Judy or Max, whoever he saw first- A trolley knocked against his leg and he was spun around and unbalanced again. As he fell, he made a hopeless grab for something, anything, to stop himself falling. Missing by a mile, he closed his eyes and waited for the painful impact. Suddenly, he was jolted violently as someone grabbed his arm painfully, then hauled him upright, setting him unsteadily on his feet. Dizzy, Ray muttered his thanks.
"No problem." said a familiar voice. Ray spun round as if he'd been scalded, pulling his arm out of the iron grip. Damn! It was humiliating enough falling over, but to do it in front of Kai… He felt a searing pain in his head as Kai grabbed him by his hair and pulled him round until they were face to face, Ray's golden eyes staring coldly into Kai's strangely agitated violet eyes.
"Listen to me, Ray," Kai hissed. "I'm sorry I hit Hilary, okay? But you being mad with me is not helping-" He cut himself off abruptly, letting go of Ray's hair.
"Not helping what?" Ray asked, curiosity overcoming his anger. Kai turned away.
"Nothing. Forget I said anything."
"Why?" asked Ray, massaging his head.
"Ray, did you ever hear the saying "Curiosity killed the cat"?"
"Yes, but I'm not dead yet!" Ray replied amiably, well used to cat jokes.
"Give me five minutes and we'll see…" muttered Kai darkly. Ray laughed.
"Alright, forgive and forget, okay?" Kai nodded, moving away to lean against the wall.
"Max?" he asked. Ray looked embarrassed and explained quickly about telling Max that Kai had hit Hilary.
"He didn't take it too well…" Ray finished, flushing red.
"I can imagine!" Kai said dryly. "So, Hilary ran off in a strop did she?"
"Yeah, guess so." The door to Max's room opened at the same time that Tyson, Kenny and a subdued Hilary appeared.
Tyson took a huge mouthful out of a chocolate bar. Stuffing the rest of it into his pocket, he looked up to see Kai standing next to Ray. He waved, but neither of them noticed, both staring at something the nurse was holding. Tyson followed their gazes down. A needle. Big deal. Tyson shrugged and sat down in a chair.
Ray tore his gaze away from the needle and stared hard at the floor, fighting down nausea. He sneaked a look a Kai, who was still staring at it, eyes wide and terrified, one hand clutching his upper arm. "Kai, you idiot, don't look at it-" He stopped and struggled not to throw up as he caught another glimpse of the needle. He decided to take his own advice and limped quickly over to Hillary and the others, swallowing hard. He took another look at Kai, who still hadn't looked away from the needle. "Kai, look away!" he called thickly. The nurse, alerted by Ray's call, looked down. Seeing Kai, she instantly dropped the needle into her pocket, smoothing it over so that it was completely out of sight. Tyson, who had worked out what was going on, stood up hurriedly.
"Kai, you dumb prat, it's gone! It's okay!" he yelled. But Kai wasn't listening, still staring, terrified, at the spot where the needle had been.
Voices. So many voices…so...confusing…
Now, just hold out your arm, that's it, well done!
Now, you're going to go to sleep for a while…
Go 'way!
You told them, Kai. And you know what that makes you? A bad boy. And you know what bad boys get, don't you?
The kid's scared of hospitals!
At least he wasn't too chicken to join in last night!
Why? So I could end up like him?
Mental case! Only a nutter'd be afraid of hospitals! Spaz!
I'm leaving you, Kai…
"No!" Kai choked. "Go away! Leave me alone!" He spun around and started running, not caring where he went, just wanting out. Now.
Spaz! Nutter!
"Kai!" Ray and Tyson yelled, rising from their seats.
"No, boys!" Judy shouted. "Stay where you are!" The two boys stopped dead, shooting desperate glances in the direction Kai had run. "There's no point in running all over the hospital! I'll alert security. Kai will be fine, I promise you." Four incredulous faces looked at her.
"You don't understand, do you?" Kenny whispered, shaking his head.
"If you send security after Kai…" Hilary said.
"It'll just make it worse!" Ray continued.
"He'll be a gibbering wreck!" Tyson finished. Everyone looked sharply at Tyson to check he wasn't messing about. But even Tyson wasn't that insensitive, and his face was grim as he returned the glares. He stood up. "Right, let's go!"
"No, not yet." Tyson stared at Ray in confusion.
"Why not yet?" he asked. Ray took a deep breath, forcing the last of his nausea down.
"I want to know why Kai reacted like that." he said, looking straight at the nurse, who flushed slightly and stepped forwards.
"All right," she said.
"Wait." Hilary said. "I'm confused. How do you know about Kai? I never saw you when he was in here before!" The nurse sighed.
"My friend was Kai's nurse, but all the nurses know something about Kai. He's been in here a couple of times before, and word gets around."
"What sort of word?" Tyson asked.
"Mainly stories, like the fact that he tried to punch the clinical director, or when he ripped his IV out, things like that. But the two facts are that, for some reason, he's terrified of hospitals and even more scared of needles. I should have been more careful with the needle, I'm sorry."
"What I don't get," Hilary said suddenly. "is how he stayed in here for a month, if he's this scared." The nurse looked at her.
"You should know, Hilary." Hilary opened her mouth to deny it, then froze, remembering how sleepy Kai had always looked, even when he'd been almost ready to come out of hospital.
"You…sedated him?" she said slowly. The nurse nodded.
"The consultants weren't too happy with keeping him on sedation all the time, but his nurse just said, "If you want to keep calling security, that's fine by me." And she was right, too. The times that they took him off it, without fail, he would try to escape. Hospitals seem to hold a lot of bad memories for him."
"Okay Ray, you know now, can we go already?" Tyson said in a strained voice, standing up again. Ray nodded and stood up carefully.
"Boys, please-" Judy pleaded.
"I'm going too!" Hilary said defiantly.
"And me!" Kenny closed his laptop and stood up. Tyson gave a grim smile.
"Alright, let's get this show on the road!"
Kai stumbled blindly down the corridor. His eyes were wide and blank with fear as he battled with himself.
What the bloody hell is going on? It's like every bad memory I've ever had is ganging up on me! Oh no, not again…
"Spaz!"
"Chicken!"
"Bad boy, Kai…" No! Get out! I don't want you! Go away!
I'm going mad…I'm going completely insane…
"I'm going mad…" Kai mumbled, eyes flicking around wildly. He vaguely saw a sign up ahead and strained his eyes to read it. Was that the exit? No. He tripped on something and fell, landing away from the sign, in a dark corner away from prying eyes. He tried to get up again, but found he couldn't. He lay back, giving himself up to the voices inside his head.
He'd always imagined madness like falling off a cliff, and here it was. Mother of all cliffs. He was being dragged, slowly, unwillingly, through the mist, towards the edge, dragged by the voices…
You always knew it was going to end up this way, Kai. Don't deny it. Accept it. No, I can't…I won't…
You will…
Suddenly, a vaguely familiar voice cut through the fog inside Kai's head, the cliff edge disappearing into the mist.
"Well, well, well, look at what the almighty Kai is reduced to!" Kai blinked and looked blearily up, expecting to see Ray or Tyson poking fun at him. He blinked again and gasped, unable to believe his eyes, his heart doing somersaults.
"A-Anika?" he said, his heart leaping inside him. "Is that you?"
"Well, if it isn't, someone's doing a bloody good impression, that's all I can say!" said the voice. Kai tried to focus his eyes. A blurry figure swam in front of him. Well, it looked like Anika. It talked like Anika. So, maybe, just maybe, it was Anika…
"Anika?" he asked again. The girl sighed, flinging her long black hair over her shoulder as she strode away.
"Yeah, Kai, it's me." Suddenly, another figure appeared, extending a hand to help Kai up.
"Hey, Flame! I ain't seen you round for a while!" Tim's deep voice echoed round Kai's head, even as he shook his head in reply to the offer of a hand up. I have got to be imagining this! he thought dazedly. There is no way that this is really happening! He swallowed and tried to pull himself together.
"It's Kai, Tim. I left Flame behind a long time ago. So, are you two…together?" His voice sounded strange, hoarse in his ears.
"Oh, yeah, we are. She's a babe…Kai." Tim said, the name coming awkwardly to his tongue. He looked at Kai properly, noticing for the first time that his old rival was shaking and pale. He thought for a minute, then put his hand in his pocket, and drew something out.
"Here, Fl-Kai," he said, quickly correcting himself. "You want some? Y'look like you could do wiv it, no offence intended, bud!" Kai looked up. Tim was holding a beer bottle. Without thinking, Kai's hand jerked forwards to take it. Hurriedly, he pulled it back. Damn it! He thought he had beaten that part of his past, but, obviously not. He had never wanted anything as much as he wanted that beer right now.
"Don't tempt me, please, Tim," he said shakily.
"What's the matter? Don't you want it?" Tim asked bemusedly. He had never known Kai turn down alcohol before. Food, yes. Sleep, yes. Not alcohol.
"You have no idea how much I want it." Kai muttered. Tim frowned.
"Stop it, Kai, you're scarin' me."
"I'm scaring myself, Tim."
"Right, now that this touching reunion is over," Anika said sarcastically, walking over to stand in front of Kai. She looked down at him, her lip curling. "So, Kai, how's life been treating you lately?"
"You don't want to know."
"Oh, but I do." Anika said, eyes glittering. "What's wrong with you, then?" she asked.
"Huh?"
"Oh, don't play stupid with me," Anika sighed impatiently. "A blind person could tell that there's something wrong with you, Kai, and I'm certainly not blind!" Kai looked up, meeting her eyes for the first time in four years. Anika gasped. Kai's eyes were dead, lifeless, the intense spark that she had once found so sexy smothered by layers of fear and bewilderment.
"I'm just…tired, Anika." Kai said slowly. As soon as he said it, he knew it was true. Every bone in his body ached with weariness, thoughts coming slowly through a thick fog of exhaustion. A very large part of his brain was telling him to just lie down and give up, but a tiny part was screaming at him: Don't you dare give up, Kai! You never did anything by giving up! Kai sighed helplessly, lowering his head on to his arms.
Anika scowled, looking at Kai's unresponsive form in front of her. This wasn't going to plan. By now, he should be at her feet. Every other boyfriend, including Tim, had to beg for her attention, but Kai had always been different, aloof, only giving as much attention as he had received. Which had led to her getting more involved than she had meant to. Getting out had hurt, but she couldn't stand being tied down to anyone. She was her own girl. She'd always remembered Kai though, and had been tracking him down for years, finally deciding to go and see if she still held his heart. But now…A very small part of him still wanted her, of that she was sure, but the rest of his brain was occupied with being exhausted. And, if she wasn't wrong, and she rarely was, he was well overdue a collapse. A subbie, as she used to call them. Best to ignore that. So, if part of him still wanted her, it was time she played up to it, wasn't it?
"Oh, Kai?" she purred, kneeling down in front of him.
Kai looked up again, seeing Anika's face just a few inches from his own.
"What?" he rasped. Anika grinned.
"Oh, nothing," she said airily, cupping both hands round his face, rubbing a soft thumb over his cheek. Alarm flickered briefly in Kai's eyes and he pulled away. Despite himself, he could feel his eyes being drawn towards her. Slut she might be, but she was an extremely attractive slut, and Kai could feel old habits rising.
"No, Anika, I can't…"
"Don't be stupid, Kai, you know you want to!" Anika whispered, before leaning forwards and kissing him, eyes closing in expectation.
Anika had been right. A small part of Kai's brain still wanted her, and that part began to kick in as she forced his mouth open and touched his tongue with hers. She could feel Kai's hands beginning to move, stroking her neck and shoulders gently. She relaxed, enjoying the satisfaction that comes from being right. And what Kai was doing wasn't too bad either. Quite nice, actually…
Kai's hands slid down towards Anika's waist. Suddenly, a figure cut through the red mist he was floating in. Great. Tyson. Just the person you wanted to be thinking about when you're in the middle of a passionate kiss with your ex-girlfriend! thought Kai, irritated. But Tyson's grinning face was joined by others, and Kai was jolted out of his pleasant limbo world. Damn! Don't I even have control over my own thoughts? Obviously not…
Anika's eyes half-opened. Something was different. It felt like he'd lost interest. Well, that would soon change! She smiled to herself, kissing Kai again, harder this time.
Kai / OC...shudders in horror.I still cannot believe thatI wrote this...anyway, R&R, please! This story hasover ONE THOUSAND hits!I am in shock! Thanks to everyone, and stay with me for the last chapter! It should (crosses fingers tightly, touches wood etc) be up tomorrow. See you then!