Guilty Love: Year 6
Chapter 3: Starry Night

A/N: This chapter contains an "almost suicide" scene. If that offends, please skip over that part.

Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter, or anything to do with it. J.K. Rowling does, and she totally rocks my socks. The only thing I do own, is this here computer, as well as some stock in sheep farming, which has absolutely nothing to do with Harry Potter… unless the next book happens to be about sheep.

A sea of voices rose and fell around Harry Potter as he got out of the carriage and looked up at Hogwarts. Students were greeting each other as they arrived. Hermione was off giving directions to the other students. Harry watched the way she kindly pointed the second years into the castle. She looked up at him and smiled, before leading them inside.

Harry stepped into the entrance hall, and was about to go into the Great Hall when someone put a hand on his shoulder and stopped him. "Harry, may I have a word?" Professor McGonagall asked quietly.

Harry shrugged, "Sure." He followed her out of the entrance hall, into a nearby classroom. He sat on one of the desks looking at the professor expectantly.

"Harry, this isn't easy for me to tell you." She paused, wishing she didn't have to be the one to say this, to say it to a boy who had already lost so much. "Y-you and Miss Granger are a couple now, correct?"

"Yes," Harry replied, wondering what that could possibly have to do with the bad news he was about to receive.

"Harry, her parent's have gone missing," McGonagall, told him, she paused again, not sure how to go on, and her voice was already cracking. "Th-they were leaving for a vacation after they dropped Miss Granger at the train station…and it would appear that someone turned their car into a portkey while they were in the station and…" Professor McGonagall broke off; one tear fell onto her face, "we h-haven't been able to locate them yet."

Harry looked her square in the eye, "Was it Voldemort?" he asked in a barely audible growl.

Professor McGonagall nodded. "Does Hermione know yet?" he asked.

"Headmaster Dumbledore is speaking with her right now," she croaked.

"Where?" Harry stood up.

"His office," McGonagall said. Harry began to head toward the door. "Mr. Potter…Harry, wait." Harry looked at her. "Take care of her."

Harry nodded once and walked swiftly to the door. Once in the hall he began to run. He sprinted past the Great Hall, full of happy, chattering students. He sprinted down one corridor up a staircase, down another, and finally he was in front of Dumbledore's office.

"Cockroach Cluster," he gasped. The gargoyle stood solidly, mocking him. "Sugar Quill! Acid Pop! Bertie Botts!" Nothing happened, he kicked it. "JELLY SLUGS!" Harry bellowed. The Gargoyle slid swiftly to the side, revealing Dumbledore standing in its wake, obviously on his way to the Great Hall.

"Where is she?" Harry asked immediately.

"Harry," Dumbledore said, "Please wait in my office until after the feast. We can talk then."

"I WANT TO SEE HERMIONE!" Harry shouted.

Dumbledore sighed, looking older and more tired than Harry had ever seen him. "Of course you do. She is in the Room of Requirement, Harry. I will allow you to talk to her for five minutes, Harry, but no more. She needs to be alone, with her thoughts, her memories, in that room."

"Thank you, sir," Harry breathed, running again, this time towards the Room of Requirement.

He reached the door, walked past it three times, concentrating on needing to be there for Hermione. As soon as the handle appeared, he raced in and found Hermione sitting alone on a great big couch, her knees drawn up to her chin, tears running down her face.

"Hermione," Harry said softly, walking over to her.

"Harry, what are you doing here?" Hermione asked, standing up. Harry immediately pulled her into a tight hug. They hugged for a long time. Hermione shook as she cried into Harry's chest.

After a few minutes, she kissed him softly, and then she pulled away from Harry. She wrapped her arms around herself, and looked up into Harry's emerald eyes. With fresh tears running down her face, Hermione opened her mouth and spoke softly, "Harry, I-I can't be with you anymore."

Hours later, Harry lay awake in his bed, the hangings drawn shut. He could hear the students laughing down in the common room. The Feast was over. He heard footsteps, and then the door creak open.

"Harry?" It was Neville. "Harry, are you ok? Is something the matter?"

Harry didn't move and stayed silent. After a moment he heard footsteps and the door close. Neville had gone. Harry sighed.

It's really over…before we even had a chance to begin. She had every right, Voldemort took her parents, and why? Because he knew I loved her. He knew hurting her would hurt me. He knew. He knows that without her, there is no point for me to be alive…Just thinking about Hermione is what kept me alive at Pivet Drive. Without her, I'm nothing, I'm nobody, I'm dead.

An idea washed over Harry's cold, tired body. He stood up and dusted off his robes. He took his wand and swept out of the dormitory. He walked quickly through the common room, smiling widely as people greeted him, asking how his summer was. He brushed them off, saying he was on his way out.

Once in the corridor, Harry went to the Owlry and called Hedwig to him, then he set a path for the North Tower. He took the spiraling steps two at a time, until he walked out into the cool open air of the night. The moon was out, directly above him, he could see every star.

Harry took a quill and piece of parchment out of his pocket, and leaned against the wall to write.

Hermione,
There is no way for me to take away the pain you feel. But I can take away the cause.
I always loved you.
Harry

He folded it carefully and slowly, and tied it gently to Hedwig's leg.

"Take it to Hermione. She's in the Room of Requirement…" Harry paused, petting the bird's head softly. "Stay with her." Hedwig gave him a piercing stare for a moment, before nipping his finger softly and flying off into the night.

Harry walked to the center of the floor, and stood for a moment, looking at the night sky.

Go on, do it, the voice in his head taunted him. It's the only way she'll ever be free. Do it. A single tear fell from Harry's emerald eyes. This was really it. This was the end. Stop crying and do it. Say the words. Point the stick right at your bloody head, and say the words. You know them. You've heard them in your dreams. Avada Kedavra.

Harry took a deep breath and held his wand out slowly, pointing it right at his heart, because that is where the pain was. Do it.

Harry lowered his wand. Something didn't feel right. Is this really a good idea?

Do it, Harry. Say the words.

But why?

DO IT NOW!

Harry dropped his wand and stumbled back against the wall, clutching his scar. It burned white-hot, as if someone had held a match to it. Harry's vision darkened, he was going to pass out if he didn't do something.

DO IT NOW, HARRY! the voice was screaming. DO IT! PICK UP YOUR WAND AND SAY IT! JUST FUCKING DO IT! Harry fell to his knees. He slowly reached for his wand. His head hurt so bad he could barely see. He had to do it. He had to. His fingers brushed the wand, and everything went black.

"If I could just have a few words with the boy."

"Absolutely not. He needs rest."

"Dumbledore, don't be unreasonable. Just wake him up, I'm sure he's good as new by now."

"The answer, sir, remains no. The boy will be left alone until I say so."

"And when will that be?"

"Maybe never. You will please leave the infirmary, as the patients here need quiet."

"The only patient is the Potter boy."

"And he needs quiet. Come along, Mr. Freeble, we can continue this conversation in my office."

"Fine, fine."

Footsteps, and then quiet. A cool hand brushed across Harry's head. "Hermione?"

"No, lad. This is Madam Pomfrey, you're in the hospital wing."

"What happened? Where's Hermione?" Harry opened his eyes and tried to sit up.

Madam Pomfrey pushed him gently but firmly back down. "I sent Miss Granger to her room to get some sleep. She has been with you for the past six days, Mr. Potter," she smiled down at him, "but I'm sure she will be back. Now drink this." She tipped a steaming glass of thick orange liquid down his throat. Moments later, Harry was asleep.

Hermione was on her way back to the hospital wing as the first rays of light crept into the castle. She had slept and showered, but she felt tired. The stress on her body was worse than it had been during the O.W.L.s, and they had been no easy feat.

Harry almost killed himself. What was I thinking, dumping him like that? He needs me, or else all he has to think about is Voldemort, and that stupid Final Battle! I make him happy, and he makes me happy. I love him.

"Going somewhere in a hurry, Granger?" a cool voice drawled.

"Not now, Malfoy."

"Off to save Potty again?"

"Move, Malfoy," she instructed the blonde Slytherin, who now blocked her path.

"What's the matter? Can't the little Mudblood bear to be away from her hero? You know, the Dark Lord is going to kill him soon, so I don't know why you are wasting your time on him. He's not going to be here much longer." He reached out and touched a strand of her hair. "You are wasting your time, Mudblood."

Hermione smacked his hand away. "Voldemort will lose."

"How DARE you say the Dark Lord name aloud with your filthy Mudblood mouth!" he shouted as he raised his hand and brought it down sharply, slapping Hermione across the face, sending her sprawling the ground.

Faster than Malfoy could say 'Hippogriff,' she had her wand on him. Malfoy stared at the wand for a moment; he did not want to be on that end of Hermione Granger's wand.

"What are you going to do? Curse me?" he sneered, there was a trace of fear behind his smirk though, and Hermione caught it.

"No, I'm not going to do anything to you, Malfoy," she lowered her wand and walked away, "This time."

It was quiet again. Harry could feel the warmth of the sun on his body. It felt heavy though. He tried to move his legs. Nothing. Did I break my legs? He wondered.

Slowly he opened his eyes. There was no sun, it was completely dark outside. Harry looked down and smiled. Hermione. He reached a hand out and brushed the hair off her face. She was curled up next to him, lying on his legs.

"Harry?" she murmured quietly, her eyes fluttering open.

"Hey," he smiled. "How long have you been here?"

She sat up slowly, "Since this morning."

Harry wanted so badly to reach out and hug her, but he didn't think she would want him to. "Oh," Harry said, he didn't know what to say. I'm sorry about your parents, hope old Voldy doesn't kill them. "Er, how long have I been out?"

"About a week," Hermione said, looking at his hands. Why doesn't he hug me? Or hold my hand? Then she remembered, You broke up with him. That's why he's here in the first place.

"Harry, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said that."

"Hermione, you were right. It's too dangerous, us being together."

"What?"

"Voldemort is just going to use you to get to me. That's why he took your parents."

Hermione stared at him.

Harry felt himself start to cry. He wished he wasn't, he wanted to be strong for Hermione. "I'm sorry. This is all my fault…I wish I didn't have to put you through any of this. Maybe it would be best if you just stayed away from me all together, Ron too. Even though he isn't even talking to me…"

Harry wiped his eyes on his sleeve and looked at her. Why isn't she leaving?

"Harry, for a starters, Ron has been here every day, waiting for you to wake up. Just like me. Harry, us being apart isn't going to make my parents appear any faster. I know they are still alive," she broke off and looked out the window, "I can feel it… Harry, I love you, and I don't want to be apart. You need me as much as I need you."

Harry sat up and kissed her deeply, wrapping his arms tightly around her back and pulling her as close as he could. He had never kissed anyone like that before, but it felt right to him. "You're right," he told her when the broke apart, both breathing heavily, "I do need you."

"Harry, when I was in the Room of Requirement, I realized I was wrong, and I was on my way to tell you in the common room, when Hedwig met me with your note. I was so scared when I read it, and Hedwig led me to you. Dumbledore was there too, apparently your bird is a lot smarter than you, Harry, because she knew what you were up to," Hermione hugged him tightly, "I was so, so scared," she whispered.

"I'm sorry," Harry told her. He pulled back a little so their noses were just barely touching. He looked deeply into her eyes. "I never want to scare you like that again."

"But I will be scared, until this is all over," Hermione replied solemnly, "until you defeat him, for once and for all."

In his office, Dumbledore sighed and leaned back into his chair. He slowly pressed his fingers tips together, and placed them against his forehead, breathing deeply. Harry and Hermione were back together. They would stay together, he was sure, but how long would Harry be around to hold things together?

Dumbledore felt a weight on his knee and looked up. It was Fawkes. He stroked the bird gently, before returning to his thoughts. He raised his wand to his temple, and gently removed and single glimmering silver strand, and placed it in the pensieve, which was sitting on his desk in front of him. Dumbledore leaned forward to watch the scene before him.

Albus Dumbledore was walking from the library to his office, his face confused. Something didn't feel right, but he didn't know what. Suddenly there was a white streak, pecking at his arms and robes. He knew that white blur. It was Harry Potter's owl, Hedwig. Something was wrong; he'd never seen an owl behave like this before. She was obviously trying to tell him something.

He followed at a run as the bird took off down the corridor. He could run surprisingly quickly for a man his age. The bird led him up the spiraling staircase to the North Tower. At first he thought it was empty, then he saw the boy, sprawled out on the ground, his wand just out of his reach.

Albus swept over to the boy, "Harry, Harry can you hear me? Harry, answer me!" He rolled the boy over onto his back. He was unconscious, and the lightening shaped scar on his forehead was glowing a white-green light. Albus knew what was going on. Voldemort had realized that he could still control the boy, but only if-

Albus picked the boy up. There would be time to explain that to him later. Harry needed a nurse, immediately. The fate of their world depended on it. Just as he was about to head down the stairs, Hedwig appeared with Hermione Granger in her wake.

"Is he-?" she asked, tears in her eyes.

"No, not if I can get him to Madam Pomfrey," Albus told her. Hermione picked up Harry's wand and followed him, jogging slightly to keep up.

Dumbledore sighed as the scene in the pensieve faded away, until all that was left was the swirling gray of his thoughts. He had to tell them. The fate of their world depended on it.

First thing in the morning, Dumbledore went to the hospital wing. It was early and there was no sign of Madam Pomfrey. He entered the room and saw Harry and Hermione asleep, lying next to each other.

"Ahem," he cleared his throat loudly and both students jumped awake.

"Professor! I, er," Harry said, "…sorry," he finished, blushing sheepishly as Hermione stood up, smoothing her sweatshirt and jeans.

"It's quite alright," Dumbledore said with a smile. "Actually, I came to see you both, I have something very important I need to discuss with you, you may as well be comfortable."

"O-ok…" Hermione said. She sat down cross-legged on the bed next to Harry, taking his hand in hers. Dumbledore pulled up a chair and sat down next to the bed.

"First, I need to explain to you, Harry, what happened with you the other night," he began.

"I know what happened," Harry said stiffly, "and I'd rather not relive it."

"But you don't know. What you think happened, isn't entirely true, so please let me explain it."

When Harry nodded, Dumbledore continued. "Before that, however, there is something that must be explained about you and Miss Granger. Harry, how do you feel about Miss Granger?"

"I love her," Harry told him, matter-of-factly.

"And Miss Granger, how do you feel about Mr. Potter?"

"I love him."

"Most people your age have not experienced love. Some never will, but I believe your connection goes much deeper than love. You both grew up with muggle families, did you ever hear the term 'soul mates'?" They nodded, and Dumbledore smiled at them, "You connection is something like that."

Harry and Hermione both blushed and grinned at each other. "The two of you were basically made to be together, if I am right about this, which I believe I am. But with such a powerful connection comes some good, and some bad. The good things can vary, from new powers, to many, many other things. The bad, however, is much more important at the moment. I believe it was the cause of the other night's events.

"Harry, you had just had your heart broken," Dumbledore paused and held up his hand to Hermione, who had opened her mouth to protest. She quickly snapped it shut, and he went on, "You were at your weakest, emotionally. I believe that Lord Voldemort knows about your connection, and he knew what could happen if you were not 'in-tune.'

"When the two of you are together, you create a barrier in your minds, protecting yourselves from outside forces. You weren't together, and Lord Voldemort knew it. He knew it, and he took advantage of it. He was able to get into your mind and convince you to try to kill yourself."

Hermione gasped, "So what you're saying is that if we get into a fight, Voldemort can use it against Harry?"

"Basically yes. Which makes things difficult for you, because you are young, and young people fight. I want you to be careful. To take care of yourselves and each other." Dumbledore leaned forward, "It is very important that you pay attention to this connection, as it grows and deepens. It could be the key to defeating the Dark Lord, Harry." There was a moment of silence as this sunk in on Harry and Hermione.

"Sir?"

"Yes, Harry?"

"You said there could be good things with this. What are they?"

Dumbledore smiled, "That I will leave for you to discover. If you have any questions, please know you can come to my office any time, I want to help you with this in any way I can," he replied as he stood up. "Harry, you will be allowed out of here at 10 o'clock this morning. It's Saturday, in case you didn't know. I suggest you use today to get some fresh air, as I imagine you have quite a bit of homework to catch up on tomorrow."

As Dumbledore stood up to leave, Madam Pomfrey bustled in. "Good morning Poppy, see to it that Mr. Potter is able to leave this morning."

"Yes, Headmaster," she said, smiling cheerfully. Dumbledore left, and Madam Pomfrey came over to check on Harry. "You're going to need to leave for a bit, while I run a few tests on Mr. Potter," she informed Hermione.

Hermione opened her mouth to argue, but Harry said, "Go on Hermione, I've got to get cleaned up anyway. I'll meet you here in a half-hour. We can go outside," he flashed her a smile.

Hermione sighed, "Alright, see you in a half-hour," she kissed him lightly on the cheek and departed.

Thirty minutes later Hermione came round the corner in front of the hospital wing and saw Harry leaning against the wall, waiting for her. Hermione half wanted to jump on him and have a good snog. He was, after all, her soul mate. Damn him for being so bloody sexy, she blushed and giggled.

Harry walked over and picked her up in a hug. "Feels good to finally be out of there," he said with a laugh. He set her down gently and took her hand, "Let's go outside. I've forgotten what grass looks like."

Just before they reached the front doors, Ron stepped out of a room, and looked at them.

"Harry! Are you alright, mate?" he asked immediately.

"Yeah, I'm fine. Ron, I just want to apologize for this whole mess. You're my best friend, and I need all the friends I have. I'm sorry for keeping this from you." Harry told him.

"Don't worry about it. To be honest, I thought it would happen sooner or later. I'm here for you, Harry." Ron glanced at his watch, "But not right now, I have to go, sorry!" Ron said as he shot off down the hall.

"Something strange is going on with that boy," Hermione said as she watched Ron race off down the corridor.

Harry nodded in agreement. "You know, normally, I would go all 'stealthy-investigator' on him, but right now I just want to go outside with you," he kissed her lightly on the lips and took her hand, leading her outside.

A/N: Alright there you have the amazing chapter 3. Sorry, sorry, sorry, a million times sorry, for the long wait. I have been uber busy with school and work. Not to mention the fact that I had my wisdom teeth taken out last weekend, so I was on a lot of medication for pain. Again, sorry for the delay.

Please, let me know what you think! I live for your reviews, and every author appreciates a good critic! You can reach me on AIM as WritingHarry182! (I generally give excerpt of coming chapters to the people who IM me and leave reviews, hinthint.) Thanks for your patience and please keep reading!