A/N: I'm introducing some Team Biohazard members that you may have read about in CassSpaz's story "Cora's Story". I thought I'd let you know in case you become slightly confused. Also go read that story! It be good on many, many, many, levels! Anyway back to the story…

Umbrella Camp

Our intrepid evildoers trudge back to camp, feeling quite proud of themselves on various levels. Not only did they get rid of Hunk, but they got to kick an unconscious Wesker. A memory they will each cherish for years to come.

Anyway…

Nemmy and Alexia move into the brush to perform their regular 'extracurricular activities'. Marcus, it seems, has finally gotten over the lose of his precious leech. Consequently he and Morpheus are having a pleasant conversation about gophers. Alfred has gone back into hiding and, again, Ada has disappeared.

However we soon spot Ada in the brush nearby, collecting firewood. As she heads back to camp she stumbles over Alfred, dropping her armload of wood right on his head.

"Geez Alfred, find a new place to hide!" She kneels down and starts picking up the wood. "Besides Nemmy and Alexia are busy at the moment so I suspect you're safe for now."

This news only causes Alfred to break into tears again. Ada rolls her eyes, still trying to pick up the scattered wood. Without warning Alfred lunges forward, wraps his arms around Ada's waist , and buries his head in her bosom.

"Nobody loves me!" His wails of pain are slightly muffled due to Ada's rather…err…large assets…

"Now…ah…that's not true." Ada pats his back awkwardly.

"Yes it is." He mumbles, then lifts his head to look her in the eye. "You wouldn't date Nemmy, would you?"

"Me? Oh, hell no. I mean, he's an eight foot B.O.W. with tentacles coming out of his back. I'm kinky but not that damn kinky."

"See and you're properly evil too, and smart, and pretty…" Alfred sighs and buries his head again, crying. "I want someone like that!!"

Ada now starts to feel something rather strange and her heart grows at least half a size in that moment. She rubs his back a bit and pets…repeat…PETS his head. It seems romance is blossoming in the weirdest places on this island…

S.T.A.R.S. Camp…next morning…

Our intrepid heroes, or in some cases hero wannabes, wake up to find their camp almost under water. Jill and Carlos quickly erect a make shift shelter over the fire, while Billy and Rebecca build a damn to keep it from getting flooded. Apparently a storm has moved in over night. The rain continues to pour , the wind blows ferociously, and lightening streaks across the sky as the tribe attempts to save their camp.

"This contest keeps getting worse and worse." Yoko mumbles, attempting to move their food supply to higher ground. "Has anyone seen Brad?"

"I think he was trying to salvage the spears." Alyssa yells, grabbing clothes in an attempt to keep them from floating away.

"HELP!! I'M SINKING!!!"

The tribe runs toward the screaming voice, to find Brad waist deep in sand. It would appear the Brad has discovered some quicksand. Working together it takes the tribe a good ten minutes to pull him out.

"I hate this island." He moans, wiping sand off his pants. "I really do."

In the tree…

Our poor castaways are faring only slightly better. At least the rising water has drowned the four zombies that had been hanging around the base of the tree. Chris and Alex are huddled under some palm leaves. Birkin and Annette have constructed a makeshift shelter from some nearby twigs. Leon and Claire are huddled under Leon's jacket. Nicholai is hunched in a ball with his shirt held over his head. Hunk, being prepared as always, is sitting comfortably under an Umbrella.

"I hate this island."

The castaways say in perfect unison…

On the beach…

Wesker finds himself standing in the pouring rain, as the producers of the show have neglected to give him any kind of rain gear, in an exceptionally pissy mood. If the whole mouse incident hadn't been bad enough he was also in extreme amounts of pain from several broken ribs. Because of this he had come up with an extremely vindictive and evil immunity challenge for today.

Several seconds later the two tribes slosh their way onto the beach, also soaked to the bone. Wesker smiles at their discomfort and attempts an evil laugh but his poor bandaged ribs simply won't allow it. He settles for a smug snort instead and turns his attention to the matter at hand.

"Well tribes, lovely weather we're having today. How are things going?"

"Our camp is under water." Rebecca grimaces. "And I think most of our clothes floated away."

"I got stuck in some sand." Brad then breaks down crying and Yoko attempts to console him.

"Our fire is out." Morpheus shrugs. "Also, I think several of Marcus' leeches are missing."

Marcus glances around nervously and looks ready to have a nervous breakdown. This seems to lighten Wesker's mood slightly, though he is confused as to why Ada is holding Alfred's hand. He shakes his head, quickly ridding it of several strange images and clears his throat.

"I have a special immunity challenge planned for today."

This news is met with the usual groans, moans, whispered threats, and fainting spells. Wesker gives the tribe two minutes to collect themselves and pushes on with his hostly duties.

"First of all the immunity totem if you please." He holds his hand out to the S.T.A.R.S. tribe.

Jill digs around in her pocket, pulls out the sunglasses, and hands them to Wesker. "You might…"

Wesker snatches the glasses out of her hand before she has a chance to finish. As he does, one of the bows falls off and a lens pops out. He stares at the now broken and badly mangled glasses.

"Good going Wes…you broke them." Alyssa snaps, hands on hips.

Wesker looks up, so ready to kill her it isn't even funny, but he restrains himself. He pockets what's left of the glasses and motions the tribes to follow them. After walking several yards the tribes spot the location of their next immunity challenge. The area is covered with boulders, small trees, and a few small wooden walls. There also appears to be some quicksand, a bed of coals, and a small moat with very ferocious looking fish swimming around in it. On the farthest side of the obstacles stands two poles at the top of which is a bell.

It should be mentioned that the two tribes are currently watching their lives pass before their eyes.

"Now then all you have to do is weave through the obstacles, cross the quicksand, cross the hot coals, swim the moat, and finally ring the bell on your tribe's pole. All you have to do is have three tribe members ring the bell in order to win. You bio-enhanced freaks can't use your abilities either. Simple."

"I know we've asked this before, but I'm going to ask again." Carlos takes a deep breath. "What's the catch?"

"Oh yes, the catch." Wesker smirks evilly and gives a sharp whistle.

Four armed men and women step out of the tree line. The man in front, obviously the leader, is dressed in a black U.B.C.S. like uniform and is carrying several guns and what looks to be a sword on his back. The man to his right is white haired, sporting a long red jacket, is also heavily armed, and carrying a sword. The woman standing to the man in front's left is thin and petite. She's obviously Hispanic and carrying a sniper rifle and has several dozen knives hidden in various places. The last woman is standing toward the back of the group and appears to be the least armed. She has long black hair, a pale complexion, and has a long scar across her neck. Her only weapons appear to be two 9mm Berettas, both in shoulder rigs, and a laptop computer.

"I'd like you to meet Team Biohazard. Umbrella's top U.S.F. team. That would be Umbrella Special Forces for you people too dumb to figure it out on your own." Wesker smirks as several of the tribes members mumble obscenities under their breath. "The man out front is Scythe."

Scythe gives a sharp nod, grinning like a man half crazed.

"The guy to his right is Foxx."

Foxx nods as well, gracing the tribes with a stony expression.

"The Hispanic Chick is Cora."

Cora give a jaunty wave smiling happily. This appears to creep some tribe members out.

"The pale chick with the scar is Pandora."

Pandora snorts and lights a cigarette.

"Now then Team Biohazard is here to give you guys a bit of a challenge. They will be attacking you as you travel through the obstacles. Don't worry I don't think they'll be using live ammunition and they promised not to kill you." Wesker grins as both tribes turn a pasty shade of white. "Now then who on the S.T.A.R.S. tribe will be sitting this immunity challenge out?"

Much screaming and several fist fights later…Rebecca sits smugly next to Wesker and his lawn chair. It should be noted the entire S.T.A.R.S. tribe will be attempting to dispose of her whip after the immunity challenge is over.

"Ready…set…GO!" Wesker cracks open a beer and waits for the screaming.

After looking skyward and saying a short prayer the two tribes plunge into the obstacle course. Alyssa is the first one taken out. Somehow she stumbled into Foxx's hiding place and was knocked out cold with the hilt of his sword. It is now apparent to the two tribes that they must be extra careful…especially since Cora has found an interesting snipping position and is now raining down bullets and throwing knives upon our poor contestants.

Ada and Alfred make it to the bed of coals relatively intact. Billy is pinned down behind a boulder. Scythe has eliminated Carlos with a well placed boot heel to the face. Morpheus is attempting to hop it's way across the coal bed. Marcus fainted upon coming face to face with Pandora. Nemmy is carrying Alexia across the quicksand. Yoko is dragging an unconscious Brad along behind her as she tries to zig zag through the boulders and trees. Somehow Jill is already swimming her way toward the bell.

"Hey Pandora!" Scythe yells, while stalking Yoko.

"What?" Pandora's gravely voice sounds board.

"What the hell did you bring that computer for? There isn't any damn control room for you to hack into this time."

There is a loud SMACK as Pandora knocks Billy up side the head with her laptop. The poor slob falls over unconscious.

"It's a dangerous weapon in the hands of an expert." She smirks and heads off to reek more havoc upon some unsuspecting victim.

In the meantime Alexia and Jill both ring their tribe's bells. There is no sign of Nemmy as he has apparently sunk to the bottom of the quicksand. Morpheus finally swims through the water and makes it to the pole, badly fish bitten but alive, and rings the bell. Unfortunately Yoko zigged when she should have zagged and got nailed in the leg by a throwing knife from Cora.

"OMG!!! I'M BLEEDING!!"

"Opps…sorry!" Cora does sound genuinely sorry for injuring young Miss Yoko bodily harm.

However, Yoko's screams of pain finally awaken Brad who jumps into action…by running around in circles screaming. This sight of stupidity causes Team Biohazard to pause for a moment. During which Ada, Alfred, and Yoko make a run for the poles. Of course in Yoko's case, she's limping swiftly.

"Hey! They're getting away!!" Pandora yells, from her precarious position in the quicksand. "And someone get me out of here!"

And so…

Foxx dashes to Pandora's aide, Scythe takes off in hot pursuit, and Cora shifts positions to sight in on the escapees. Ada and Alfred reach the water in record time, however Scythe is only two steps behind them. In a feat so heroic, one would normally attribute it to Chris or perhaps Leon, Alfred grabs Ada and throws her into the water.

"I'll buy you some time!!"

Ada is stunned, speechless, and certainly wastes no time swimming toward the poles. Alfred spins around to face the oncoming Scythe with his most powerful weapon…

"Oh for the love of God!!" Scythe hops up and down, wiping at his mouth. "IT KISSED ME!!"

This particular outbursts stuns everyone, including Wesker who spits out a mouthful of beer right on Rebecca's head.

"Eww…yuck!"

As Rebecca attempts to wipe off the beer, Scythe attacks Alfred with a fury one could only describe as deranged and psychopathic. He reduces him to a puddle of whimpering cross-dressing-psycho-freak in a manner of seconds. At about the same time Ada reaches the pole and rings the bell.

"Contest over, Umbrella tribe wins!" Wesker gets out of the chair and hands Ada the mangles sunglasses. "S.T.A.R.S. tribe see you at tribal council."

The two tribes trudge collect their fallen comrades and move off in opposite directions. Ada quickly scoops what's left of Alfred into a bucket and coos over it as she hurries to catch up to her tribe mates. Wesker finds this site to be woefully unhealthy and quickly departs.

In the meantime Team Biohazard heads for their chopper. Scythe is now brushing his teeth.

"That was kinda fun." Pandora is still wiping sand off her pants.

"Speak for yourself." Scythe growls. "I'm never going to get the taste out of my mouth."

This statement causes the other three to stop and stare at him for several seconds.

"What?"

Cora is the first to ask. "He didn't like…you know…French you, did he?"

"NO! I can't believe you would think that! You people are sick!!"

Scythe then stomps off to the chopper. Pandora giggles slightly and pops open her laptop to display a large picture of Alfred kissing Scythe right on the lips, incidentally it also proves that Alfred DID NOT French kiss him. Later a web site will pop up …

Next Time on Survivor…

Who will be voted off?

A/N: Who on that S.T.A.R.S. team just has to go? Cast your votes!