Apple: Hey everyone, I'm back. Thanks for all your nice comments! You're all so nice.
Lady of Dragons: Fire Emblem and RvB rocks! Glad to meet someone as crazy as I am! ;
Sara Jaye: Hehe, well, hope it'll amuse you more as it goes on!
Picup: Hehe, I think you'll find out Donut and Caboose in this one. I hope my casting is good!
Link015: ; Glad you like my correlations. But I did have help. My friend and I both came up with stuff for it. And Red vs Blue does rule.
K-Gforever: Yes, well Wallace is an idiot, and Wil's…just Wil. He's cool though 3
sYnergY's Duality: Oh…stupid MS Word then. ; That was actually the first two episodes. Glad you like it.
Apple: Yay! I got lotsa reviews. Hopefully I'll be able to keep updates going for ya. Well, here's the next chapter!
Kent and Sain stood atop the Red base, arguing, as always.
"That's not how it happened!" Kent said indignantly.
"Yes it is!" Sain argued. "You said 'I'm not going to the Western Isles' and the next thing I know you're on a Wyvern heading we-."
As they argued, both men failed to notice a red clad feminine figure with long blonde hair standing behind them.
"Excuse me, ahh sirs?"
Kent and Sain turned around and faced the newcomer. It took one look for Sain's testosterone level to skyrocket.
"Ahh, my enchantress, you need not be so formal with me." Sain said, making goo-goo eyes.
"Sirs!" Kent said, being more rational than his love-struck partner.
The newcomer continued in a male voice. "I was told to go to blood gulch outpost number one and asked to report to whoever was in charge."
"Whoawhoawhoa!" Sain yelled. "This can't be true! WHY DOES THIS HAVE TO BE TRUE!"
"Excuse me?" The newcomer asked.
"YOU! YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO BE A BEAUTIFUL GIRL! WHY THE VOICE! WHAT'S WITH THE VOICE!" Sain overreacted, going into shock.
The newcomer slapped his forehead. "Oh St. Elimine, I'm so sick of this! I'm a guy okay!"
Kent chose this time to butt in. "Umm, okay, well, the Sarge isn't here, but he left me in charge."
Upon hearing this, Sain snapped out of his reverie. "Oh you are such a kiss ass!"
"ALSO," Kent continued. "He told me that if I had any trouble from you, I should… 'Get in the horse, and trample you like a tomato.'"
"…oh that is THE worst impression I've ever heard." Sain said hearing Kent trying to imitate Wallace.
Kent decided to drop the subject. "Okay lackey, what's your story?"
The newcomer snapped quickly into attention. "Private Lucy reporting for duty sirs! I'm ready to fight some Dragons."
Sain and Kent looked at each other before the orange one spoke "Okay, couple of things here rookie. First off…Private Lucy! I thought you said you were a guy."
The private sighed. "Oh god, everybody just calls me that because everyone thinks I'm a girl. My real name is actually Lucius."
Sain stared for a bit. "Okay, that actually made sense. Secondly, what's with the armor color?"
Lucius looked at his armor. "Well, this is the standard issue red."
"Yeah, I know." Sain continued. "Look, only two kinds of people wear standard issue armor, officers and recruits, and since you're not trying to feed me to a Wyvern, you're probably not an officer."
Lucius thought for a second and looked at Kent. "Well, he's wearing red armor."
Kent held up his finger and said analytically, "No, my armor is MAROON, YOUR armor is red."
"Well…how do I get a different color armor?" Lucius asked.
Kent sighed. "I'll bet the blues don't have to put up with this kind of crap."
Meanwhile, at the other side of the canyon, Erk and Wil were looking at a beautiful white winged horse while a blue clad girl with two flaming pink pigtails jabbered on.
"So I look at the guy see and I ask him 'how are you going to get the pegasus into the canyon' but he was so mean to me and he said 'I'll just ride it in' so I say to him, 'well, if you're going to just ride it in, then why don't they just give you the arrows and use you to fight instead?'"
Wil, having finally met his match in annoyingness, turned to the girl and said. "Dude lackey, you're ruining the moment…shut up."
"Oh…okay…you got it, anything for you and…Erky" the girl said placing a dreamy emphasis on the last name.
Erk would've gotten really mad, if he wasn't too busy admiring the Pegasus. "Dude, I could blow up the entire Elimine damn world with this thing." He sighed.
Back at the red base, Kent began to brief Lucius.
"Okay Private Lucy, here's the deal-"
"I just refuse to call him Lucy. It's unholy!" Sain interrupted.
"We've got a very important mission for you. Do you think you can handle it?" Kent continued, ignoring his orange friend.
"Absolutely!" Lucius responded
"We need you to go to the vendor and get two quarts of… bow grease."
"Yeah, and pick up some horseshoe polish for the pony too while you're at it." Sain joined in.
"What!" Lucius asked.
"He means the horse." Kent clarified.
"You do know where the vendor is, right lackey?" Sain asked.
"Huh? Oh yeah, yeah. Of course I do. Sure, no problem!" Lucius responded, obviously lying.
"Well, get going then." Kent said.
Lucius turned and headed towards back wall of the canyon. Kent and Sain sighed.
"Other way…" Sain reminded him.
Lucius quickly corrected himself. "Oh right…I knew that. Just got turned around that's all."
"And for god's sake hide your hair! We don't want you to get raped by some bandit thinking you're a woman!" Kent yelled after his departing figure.
"Right!" Lucius yelled back while frantically stuffing his hair into his helmet.
As they watched Lucius go off, Kent turned to Sain and asked, "How long do you think until he finds out there's no vendor here."
"I'd say…at least a week." Sain replied.
As Lucius headed up a path away from the base he turned back and sneered at the acting COs.
"Bow grease! How stupid do they think I am!" he thought out loud before heading away muttering. "Once I get back to base with the horseshoe polish, I'm going to have a serious talk with the sergeant."
At the blue base, Wil and Erk were still admiring the Pegasus while the pink haired girl admired Erk.
"You know what?" Wil said after a while. "I take back what I said earlier. We could definitely pick up girls in this thing, probably two or three girls a piece."
"Oh man, listen to you." Erk mocked. "What are you going to do with two chicks!"
"Erk! Women are like, bowstrings! The more you can hook up, the better it gets!"
Back at red base, Kent and Sain were contemplating their actions.
"Do you think we were too mean to the kid?" Kent asked.
"Nah, he'll just wonder around the cliffs for a few hours. What's the worst that can happen?" Sain replied.
Just as the words left Sain's mouth, Lucius came across a building with three bluish clad figures standing around a Pegasus on the outside.
"Finally!" he huffed. "The vendor."
As he walked towards it, he noticed the Pegasus and his eyes lit up. "OH SWEET!" He exclaimed. "They sell Pegasi!"
Meanwhile, Erk was telling a secret to Wil and their new lackey.
"Hey listen, I'll let you in on a secret, I've actually got a girl back home." He said, blushing a bit.
The pink haired girl immediately stiffened up and scowled at his words. Wil though was curious and he continued to pry into Erk's private life.
"Oh really? Girlfriend or wife?" He asked.
"Oh no man…she's just my girlfriend." Erk replied sheepishly and the girl visibly gave a small sigh of relief. "We were going to get married." Erk continued. "But I got shipped out…and you know how it works."
"Oh…well, you going to marry her when you get back?" Wil asked.
The girl took her chance to interrupt. "I don't know. My dad used to always say "why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free."
Erk stiffened. "Hey lackey! Did you just call my girlfriend a cow!"
"No." The pink haired girl said. "I'm calling her a SLUT!"
"I'll tell you what rookie." Erk said sarcastically. "I could sit out here and listen to you insult my girlfriend all day long. But as it turns out, I've got a lot more important jobs for you to do."
"Great…" The girl mumbled.
"See…we've got this…Lord." Erk continued.
"Right, the Lordy guy…" Wil repeated.
"Who likes to come by and…make random inspections in bases." Erk finished. "So what I'mma have you do, is I'mma have you go into the base and stand right next to the flag at attention just incase he decides to come by."
"When is he coming by?" The girl asked.
"We never know." Wil explained. "Could be today, could be a week from now."
"You want me to stand at attention for a week!" The girl asked incredulously.
"You know, you don't sound very grateful." Erk said. "This is the most important job in the whole base. You're gonna be right there with the flag."
"…what's so important about the flag!"
"Oh come on! Don't they teach you anything in training? It's important because…because it's the flag man, you know…it's the flag…Wil, you tell her what's so important about the flag."
"Well, it's…it's complicated." Wil began. "I mean uhh…it's blue, we're blue…"
"It's just important okay? Trust us!" Erk finished. "So when the Lordcomes by, the first thing he's gonna want to do is inspect the flag. So just go in there, you know, far away from us and wait for him."
"Okay, if you say so Erky." The girl replied cheerfully and ran off thinking she's got an important job.
"And STOP CALLING ME THAT!" Erk yelled after her.
The girl didn't hear him, but she did turn around half way to the base to ask a question.
"Umm, how would I know him when I see him!"
"There's only three of us out here." Wil answered. "He's gonna be the guy who doesn't look like one of us."
"Now get in there and DON'T COME OUT!" Erk yelled.
After the girl has gone, Erk turned towards Wil. "Man, that thing is dumber than you are."
"You mean she's dumber than YOU are." Wil retorted.
"Wow Wil, that was a great comeback…"
Just then, the pink haired one came out again. "Oh Erky!"
"Oh St. Elimine." Erk grumbled. "WHAT!"
"Sorry about calling your girl a slut, even though she really is one!"
"LACKEY! SHUT UP! JUST SHUT UP YOU'RE DRIVING ME CRAZY! JUST GET IN THERE!" Erk yelled in fury.
Wil turned around a snickered his partner's misfortunes. Unfortunately, Erk heard him.
"Wil, are you laughing at me?" Erk said threateningly calm.
Just then, Lucius arrived and saw two blue clad men standing there. He walked behind them and cleared his throat, unfortunately for him, he stubbed his toe, raising his voice an octive.
"Umm, excuse me, sir? Can I ask you a question?" Lucius asked in his abnormally high voice.
"Dear…St. Elimine…lackey" Erk enunciated in agitation. "If I turn around, and you're not inside, I- I can't be held responsible for what I am going to do to you!"
"Wha? What did I do?" Lucius asked, confused.
"ONE!" Erk bellowed.
"Ahh, give me a break." Lucius groaned.
"TWO!"
"Fine!" Lucius sighed and turned around to go into the base.
Walking inside, he found a blue clad pink haired girl standing at attention next to a flying blue flag.
"Wow! You got here fast!" The girl exclaimed when he got in.
Lucius' frustration at the man outside made him forget about the pain so his voice returned to normal again.
"God, why is everyone so rude in the canyon!" He groaned.
"I'm not sir!" The girl said enthusiastically. "What can I do for you?"
"Finally." Lucius groaned. "Someone with a little respect around here."
"Yes sir!" the pink haired one said again. "I assume you're here because of this." She said turning towards the flag.
"Wait…is this all you have?" Lucius asked.
"Uhh, yes sir, that's it!"
"Ahh man, this figures. Shit…what about bow grease!"
"Umm…."
"Horseshoe Polish?"
"Nope, all we have is this flag!"
"Well, I can't go back empty handed, so I guess I'll take that." Lucius said grabbing the flag.
"Sure…uhh, that makes sense…I guess." The girl said.
"Man…" Lucius groaned. "They're gonna give me so much shit for coming back with just this flag."
As he left, the girl giggled, thinking that she did a good job and Erk would be very proud of her and maybe notice 'other' things about her.
Meanwhile, the other two blue idiots were still at the Pegasus.
"Well, enough gabbing out of us." Erk said. "Let's take this bad boy out for a spin! Go ahead and hop in Wil."
"Me?" Wil laughed nerviously. "I can't ride that thing!"
"You're telling me you're NOT Pegasi Certified?"
"Of course not! I'm a freaking archer! I take down those bastards, not ride them! That thing probably has its "Archer bastard sensors" on overload right now!"
The Pegasus glared at Wil and snorted as if in response.
"See?" Wil said pointing at the winged beast. "Don't you know how to ride it?"
"NO!" Erk yelled as if it were obvious. "HOLY ST. ELIMINE WHO IS RUNNING THIS ARMY!"
Just then, the pink haired girl came out of the base beaming.
"Oh Erky!" She squealed. "Just wanted to let you know, the Lord stopped by, and picked up the flag!"
"Yeah! OKAY! WHATEVER MORON!" Erk yelled back at her before turning back to Wil. "Why would they give us a PEGASUS, if nobody here knows how to RIDE the damn thing!
Just then, the girl's words hit him.
"Wait a minute…WHAT did she say!"
Apple: Show of hands…how many of you actually expected SERRA to be Caboose! ; Hee, I'm evils. Or I'm evils to Erk, but then the one sided SerraxErk pairing is cute in the game, or at least…Erk wishes that it's one sided. Anyways, enough of my rambling. Hope y'all continue to enjoy my fic and keep reviewing!