Aria A Cappella
Part 7
Author's Note: This is another pretty short one, but I wanted to get it out. The story will be wrapping up shortly…probably two or three more chapters. But (there's always a but) I am also beginning work on a more adventure-oriented River-centered fic 'Children of Prometheus'. Keep your eyes peeled for the prologue.
River watched Simon curiously. He was puttering around the infirmary, apparently without any goal in mind.
"Simon? What are you doing?" Simon looked up in surprise, as though he hadn't realized she was there. He registered her and smiled. He crossed the infirmary and clasped her hands.
"Don't you worry, River. I'm going to make you all better." River frowned at him.
"What do you mean? I am better. I'm fine." He regarded her with mild disbelief for a few moments before laughing. He wandered away, starting to rummage through drawers.
"Sure, mei-mei, whatever you say."
River wrinkled her nose and stopped swinging her dangling legs. "What's that supposed to mean? I'm fine."
Simon pulled a vial filled with neon green liquid out of one of the drawers and smiled at it. "Aha, there you are." He glanced back at River's earnest expression and shook his head, laughing again. "Don't be so silly, River. You just think you're fine because you're insane."
"I am not insane!"
"Come on, River. You're supposed to be the genius here. Don't you remember; the craziest ones never believe that they're crazy." River frowned. That was true, she supposed, but she still felt she would have realized it if she was insane. Simon watched her for a few moments before going back to his laughing and searching. She watched him, and he finally crowed in triumph, producing a massive syringe. The needle looked to be about two feet long, but Simon just gleefully poured the contents of his vial inside.
"What is that stuff?"
"Hush, River," Simon brandished the syringe as one would a spear, and patted her shoulder with his other hand, "it will be over before you know it." And he slammed the needle into her chest. She knew without looking that the needle had passed all the way through her body and was sticking out on the other side. Simon didn't look particularly perturbed. "Whoops. Slight miscalculation."
River glanced down at her chest, and the syringe sticking out of it, before narrowing her eyes at him.
"You aren't my brother." His smile morphed instantly into a feral scowl.
"You aren't my sister," he growled, backing away from her. "You're not even a person."
"What? Simon, don't do this to me. Don't," she reached for him, but her hand dissolved into water that landed with a splash on the tile floor. She stared with perverse fascination at the remainder of her arm as it too melted away. The syringe clattered when it hit the ground, while the rest of her body dripped downward. The puddle on the floor that used to be River Tam sensed Simon drawing nearer. He looked down at his liquid sister and sighed.
"Oh good, something else for me to clean up."
The first thing River noticed upon waking was that her toes were cold. The second was that sometime during the night, she had thrown all of the covers off her bed. The third was that, at some point between the removal of the covers and waking up, she had pressed herself into a corner of her room and was currently about a quarter of the way to the ceiling. She allowed herself to slip back down, bare feet meeting cool floor. She straightened the oversized shirt of Mal's that she had claimed as her nightshirt and headed out of her bedroom.
The floor was even colder out in the hallway, but she savored the sensation as her feet slid along it. She felt the house slipping through her, entering through the soles of her feet, and permeating throughout her entire body. It splashed in her veins alongside her blood, spreading into every crack and niche. River did a little dance back and forth across the hall, letting her fingertips brush the walls, giving the house another point of entrance. She continued down the hall, swaying from side to side, letting herself become the house and the house become her.
It made her happy, being the house, even though the house itself was sad. It was not a tragic sadness; more of a melancholy that left a bitter taste in the back of what had been River's throat before she merged with the house. Perhaps it was a hallway now. But the melancholy…it was a heart soreness. Sunk into the walls by a woman who could only ever have hoped to be 'distinguished' no matter how hard she yearned to be beautiful. A distinguished woman, who was a fine companion but not attractive enough to be a Companion, her girlhood dream. A distinguished woman who spent her life instructing those who would become what she could not. A distinguished woman, no longer teaching, no longer admired…merely respected and, now, aging.
A tear slipped unnoticed from what used to be River's eyes. This was such a sad house. Filled with regrets and unfulfilled dreams. A very sad house with a very sad mistress. However, the sadness abated as formerly River entered the ballroom. This was a special room. This was where a distinguished woman could, for the few minutes a song lasted, fool them into believing she might secretly be beautiful. Formerly River opened what used to be a mouth and began to sing. It was a wordless song, but a song nonetheless, full of emotion and meaning. It was the house's song, and formerly River sang it with pride. What were once feet only brushed the waxed floor as she leapt and spun through the room. It was here the house was happiest and saddest at the same time. Here where the blinding residual emotion had overwhelmed the single girl who could feel it.
The thought made formerly River stop. Her body began to reform as her mind slipped away from the house and closer to the girl. It was so very strong here, all the emotion painted throughout the house. It was so strong it could not coexist peaceably with her own emotion. She let herself gently slip to the floor until she lay on her back on the polished stone
The house was sad, so formerly River decided to introduce it to Serenity. She drifted away from the sad house, away from Maat, up into the icy black. She floated through the vast void of space for a few moments, before coming upon her home, her ship, the other part of her soul. She pressed what used to be fingertips against the hull and slid inside. She darted through the walls, letting herself become every rivet and wire. She showed the house where she slept, and where she ate, and where she ceased to be. The rooms that held laughter, tears, bits and snippets of a possible life. Serenity would be a good influence on the sad house, she knew. Serenity was sad, too. But she was getting better.
Simon said that the name sounded funereal. River knew he was wrong. Serenity wasn't death. There was no peace to be found in death. River knew…she had been dead. Only for a few moments, early in the days of the experiments, but still dead. Death did not bring serenity. The only way to find calm, tranquility, peace was through life. Living brought serenity. And living was making Serenity better. There were hard days sometimes. Sometimes Serenity didn't know if she could handle it. She wasn't sure she could survive. Sometimes Serenity felt like she was being torn apart. But sometimes Serenity felt warm, and loved, and alive. And at those times, Serenity knew that someday she would have only those times, and none of the other times.
Since she had introduced the house to the ship, she decided to introduce Serenity's people. First was Mal, sitting on his bunk, tapping through a news scan. The captain, who held it all together and was in direst need of Serenity. Next Zoë, striding across the hold, checking the cargo. First mate, second in command, Amazon warrior queen who pointed out the bad but never dwelled on it. Then Kaylee, tinkering with the engine as always. Mechanic, little piece of sunlight, filling Serenity with laughter and never letting anyone know how forced it sometimes was. Shepherd Book after that, contemplating his illogical book. The moral compass, pointing the way, keeping toes behind the line while remembering days of dancing on the other side. Her beloved Simon, nervous and labeling things. Doctor, brother, dandy, too good for Serenity but not belonging anywhere else. Finally Wash, doing his work on the bridge. Pilot, husband, eternal jester who was more attuned to tragedy than he would like you to know.
She looked over Wash's shoulder at the control panel. It was currently occupied by a number of figurines, and from the sound of it, an epic battle was taking place. A giggle escaped what was once a mouth and Wash snapped around, ready to defend himself against any laughter or stares. His eyes widened.
"River?"
A voice above her slammed her back into her body. She winced from the impact, body and essence aching. She opened her eyes, squinting in the sudden light. Jayne was kneeling next to her and he sighed when she made eye contact with him.
"Don't you do that again, girl. Madame near died she saw you lying there like that." River sat up slowly, not breaking eye contact.
"You die too, Jayne?" He looked away, grumbling.
"'Course not." He was scared. Scared for her and of her. It was the latter she found most interesting. Not that it was rare…a majority of the people she knew had been scared of her at some point. The rest of her Serenity familyBut the way he handled it. He didn't hide from her, didn't skulk away. He faced her like the man he was, despite his fear. He was ashamed, she felt. Ashamed that a tough gunslinger like himself would be frightened of a girl who couldn't weigh more than one hundred pounds, soaking wet. She caught him enjoying the thought of her soaking wet and clicked her tongue disapprovingly.
"Simon wouldn't be pleased. But we won't listen to him, will we?"
"What're you talking 'bout?" He backed away a few paces suspiciously. She advanced on him, smiling broadly.
"River Cobb."
"What the-gorramit girl, you-"
"Jayne Tam?" She offered. Jayne, recognizing that all his years facing down the roughest elements of society had not prepared him for anything of this nature, turned and fled the room.