A/N: I'm very sorry if there are still some mistakes but I'm not a native speaker.

Feedback is very much appreciated.

Chapter 2

The new day found the knights gathered at the yard discussing what they could do. Tristan had told them the fateful events of the night during the breakfast. No one had seen Lancelot since Toros' tragic death but all of them could understand how Lancelot felt.

"I think we should leave Lancelot in peace for today. If I know him he doesn't want that anyone sees him mourning", Gawain remarked.

"Yes, that would be the best. But he needs to get a new horse as soon as possible. We are knights after all", Arthur reminded the Sarmartians. "I'll talk to him about it tomorrow."

Galahad, who had lost a horse himself just a few weeks ago, knew that it would be a cruel blow for Lancelot to replace Toros like an inanimate object. "Oh yes, the Roman military can't show consideration for such an insignificant matter like a dead horse. I forgot."

"No one says that a horse is an 'insignificant matter'. But what kind of knight would you be without a horse?", Arthur tried to justify himself. "Thank God there's no new mission ordered for us so far."

During the entire day Lancelot was nowhere to be seen. The rest of the knights enjoyed their spare time but their thoughts went back to Lancelot and his horse from time to time. Even Arthur did not know where his closest friend had hidden.

When the knights met in the tavern in the evening Lancelot was still missing. They grew more and more worried. Arthur decided to search for his friend and leaving the others behind existed left the tavern.

He made his way towards the stables although he knew that he wouldn't find Lancelot there. Before he really knew what he was doing he had entered the stables and headed off towards his own horse. The white stallion neighed and turned his head to Arthur. Reassured that his own horse was well Arthur patted the stallion's neck and continued his search.

He crossed the cemetery where all fallen knights had found their rest as he knew that Lancelot preferred this quiet place when he tried to come to terms with something that bothered him.

But this time the cemetery was empty apart from the swords which marked each grave and a few mice which were still looking for something to eat.

Slightly confused Arthur went slowly towards the wall. From time to time he stopped still searching for a sign of his friend. When he passed by a small wood thicket he stopped once more but now simply to take on the beautiful view from Badon Hill to Hadrian's wall. The landscape was still covered with a perfect white blanket of snow twinkling in the starlight.

Suddenly an in this moment unexpected voice was heard: "I thought you would prefer to sleep in a proper bed instead of going for a walk in the dark. Or were you just looking for a quiet place to talk to your God once more? Give it up, it doesn't work. I prayed to nearly every god I could remember from my childhood during the past two days."

Arthur was startled at the noise and turned around. He found Lancelot sitting under a tree in the small wood thicket and it didn't seem as if he would be leaving his hiding place anytime soon.

"I really prefer a warm bed or at least a place near the fireplace to a hike around the fortress in midwinter searching for a particular friend. But someone has to keep this friend from doing something foolish like catching a bad cold." With these words Arthur approached his friend and sat down before him. In Lancelot's brown eyes he could see the grief and despair but also a deep tiredness. For a while the two friends just sat there in silence.

Finally Lancelot broke the silence by stating: "Well, you found me. What do you really want?"

"Currently I would be satisfied if you would talk to me instead of hiding like a young child and return to the fortress."

"I'm not like a child! It's just... Toros meant a lot to me. He was the first foal of my father's mare. My father had promised me the first foal of Docras when I was about seven or eight years old. I was there when he was born. I saw his first attempt to stand up. I was the first person who rode him and I brought him to this damn island. He was always there. When I became homesick in the beginning of my duty he was my sole consolation. Sometimes I thought he could really understand me like a man would.

He was one of my last keepsakes to my memento of home and my father and I could do nothing to prevent his wound or to save his life! I even killed him!" These last words were uttered so quietly that Arthur could barely hear them.

"You don't have to reproach yourself for Toros' death. You even have saved his life many times before. Do you remember the battle near this dark, deep lake in the east? It must be about two years ago now. You caught this arrow which was meant to bring Toros down."

"But this Woad was either a terrible archer or a particularly cruel warrior. This arrow was aimed to high to just 'bring him down'. I had the choice if this arrow would hit Toro's throat or my shoulder and I decided that it would be more possible to heal a wound in my shoulder than one in Toros' throat."

"There's something about I have been wondering since this day: Why did you know this arrow would hit your shoulder instead your throat or your chest?", Arthur asked.

"I thought I said that this Woad was a terrible archer", Lancelot answered with a small grin. Just a few moments later the grin vanished and the expression of grief returned to Lancelot's face.

"This time I did nothing to keep him unhurt. And it was me who stabbed him to death."

"But you did it to release him. And it demanded a lot of courage and love for Toros to do this. I'm not sure if I could do the same. And if it's any consolation to you, you spared him a lot of agony and pain.

And what could you have done to prevent this wound? We all were engaged in this fight and no one even noticed that one of these criminals attacked your horse. Apart from this fact it also could have been an unfortunate coincidence that Toros was hit. To prevent this wound you had had to stand beside your horse the entire fight. And you have to admit that it would have been to boring just to stand there and watch the battle."

Lancelot sighed. "Maybe you're right. I knew that one day Toros would die because of an injury caused in a battle. And I feared this day. But altough I knew it would happen it's still very hard to accept that."

The two knights fell silent. After a while Arthur remembered that there was still an important topic left.

" Lancelot, there's another thing I've to talk to you about. I know it must sound insensitively to you but you need another horse soon."

Arthur was prepared for a tantrum, grief or even hate but he didn't expect Lancelot's reaction. The knight lifted his head, looked at Arthur and then slowly nodded. "I know. But I need some time. Then I will look for another one."

"You should have that time. If we should get a new order in the meantime you can ride a horse of a legionary."

"You're sure they know what a horse is? I thought they ride mules because they are not so tall."

To hear his friend joking about Romans again eased Arthur's heart a lot. "And what about going back to the fortress? I don't know how you are feeling but I'm frozen stiff."

"Yeah, me too. I think going back is a good idea." With these words Lancelot got up, a little bit stiff by the cold. Together they made their way back to the fortress. Suddenly Lancelot began to speak: "Even now when Toros is dead I still have my swords left as a keepsake to remind me of home. That's better than nothing."

Neither Arthur nor Lancelot knew that another knight was still outside, today prefering the tranquillity of this midwinter night instead of joining his fellow knights in the tavern.

Tristan had shown up in the tavern this evening but after a few moments he had realised that he didn't feel like spending the night cooped inside. He had left the tavern unnoticed by the other knights.

The scout had left the fortress behind and had made his way towards the small thicket between Badon Hill and the wall. After being in the fortress for three days now and without the chance of a new mission for the knights any time soon he had felt like a caged animal. When he had reached his destination he had simply enjoyed being alone with the nature.

While he walked around in the small thicket he had suddenly detected two voices. Immediately he had taken cover in the deep shadow of the trees. Carefully he had approached the two figures without letting them know that he was there. Quickly he had discovered that the two figures were Arthur and Lancelot.

Tristan had prepared to disappear among the trees again but something in Lancelot's voice had made him hesitate and he had listened on the entire conversation between Arthur and Lancelot.

As Arthur's scout Tristan spent a lot of time alone just accompanied by his mare and his hawk. And these animals were friends to him. For this reason he understood exactly how Lancelot was feeling about his loss.

After Arthur and Lancelot had made their way back to the fortress Tristan stayed behind to think. He sympathized with Lancelot and suddenly a thought shot through his mind. An idea how he could help him.

Determined Tristan set off for the fortress.

The following morning he left Badon Hill as early as possible but carefully enough to avoid being noticed by anyone who might realize what he was up to.

Tbc

crystalblood: Thanks for your review. I'm very sorry for the mistakes.

acuamain: (blushing) Thank you very much! I can promise you that Lancelot will find another horse.

Drakcir: I hope you like the second chapter