HCF Camp…
Our survivors finally trudge back into camp, all of them in various states of abusement. Of course all the injuries were a result of the hour long brawl they had over the tied up licker that Alfred stole out from underneath them. As it is, only Brad escaped unscathed and with his new little pet Licker, he has decided to name Sanzo. Apparently Brad is a big fan of the Anime Saiyuki, who knew?
Anyway Cameraman H proceeds to corner our survivors, hoping he won't be their next victim. I guess he finally found out what happened to the other seven cameramen and he's a bit paranoid at this point.
"Look what the little 5'3" bitch did to me!" Jill points to a large bandage covering her right eye. "She tried to blind me! THAT LITTLE BEEP BEEP BEEPEDY BEEP BEEP IS GOING DOWN!"
Cameraman H quickly flees as Jill goes on a ten minute tangent about what a beep beep beep Rebecca is. Our poor censor isn't going to be able to move his arm for a week after this season, what with all the beep button pushing he's been doing.
"He bite my ear!" Billy points to a large bandage covering his right ear. "Who the hell does that dress wearing psycho think he is…MIKE TYSON!"
Cameraman H backs away slowly and corners someone else.
"I have a new pet!" Brad slurs, throwing his arm around Sanzo. "Isn't he just the cutest little thing? He's a vegetarian you know."
Our poor cameraman faints at the sight of Sanzo the Licker, leaving the camera to go to passive mode. And I must say it picks up on a rather interesting looking argument near the campfire.
"Well you poked me in the eye first!" Jill bellowed.
"You didn't have to hit me with a rock!" Rebecca screamed back. "You two-bit-tube-top-mini-skirt-wearing trollop!"
"Oh! You so did not go there!"
"Oh yes I did you tramp!"
Jill jumps Rebecca and another brawl ensues…
Somewhere on the Island…
"AHHHHH! GET IT OFF OF ME!"
Claire is hanging onto the branch of a palm tree for dear life as a Licker on the ground tries to drag her down with it's tongue, which just happens to be wrapped around her left ankle at the moment. Everyone else is also in the trees and seem to be having their own issues, with the exception of Annette who is still buried and has at this point passed out.
Alex has been cornered at the top, or bottom depending on how you look at it, of the tree the former survivors were in before the hurricane. One of the four Lickers is desperately trying to eat her, while she beats it in the head with a large stick and tries to protect Hunk who is wrapped around her waist and crying bloody murder. The two mice have once again taken refuge in her bra.
Yoko, Alyssa, and Ada are screaming their fool heads off as the third of the four lickers climbs up the palm tree they have taken refuge in. Nicholai and Birkin are in the same tree as Claire, and are desperately trying to pull her back up to safety. Meanwhile Leon and Chris appear to be trying to strangle each other while the last of the Lickers stare at them like they've lost their minds.
"This is all you fault!" Chris decks Leon. "If you hadn't listened to my sister I would not be in this damn tree!"
"I hate to tell you this you moron." Leon decks Chris. "But everyone except you and Brad voted for you!"
!IMPORTANT NEWS BREAK!
"We go live to the New York City Supreme Court for an update on the Umbrella/Harvard proceedings…Christina…"
"Thank you Margaret. The fight, which broke out earlier between Umbrella CEO Sir Ozwell Spencer and Harvard Pharmaceutical CEO Vincent, has escalated. We are not allowed into the court room at this time, but reports have reached us that Sir Ozwell Spencer has in fact turned several members of the courtroom audience into zombies and ordered them to attack Vincent. Vincent in turn has reportedly turned his two lawyers into Tyrants and ordered them to attack Spencer. At this time…"
Ice glances behind her and see three zombies shamble out of the courthouse. Calmly she pulls her Desert Eagle and shoots them in the head. She then turns back to the camera smiling.
"As I was saying, at this time we are unsure as to how many people have been infected and the death toll currently stands at three. Back to you Margaret…"
The Anchorwoman stars at the camera looking more that a tad bit shaken up. In fact she looks ready to pass out.
"Uh…thank you Christina. We will continue to cover this story and bring you updates as they happen…"
We now return you to your regular program, already in progress…
Tribal Council Area…
Wesker is still drunker than a hoot owl and still wearing his stolen clothes, although I suppose if he won them in a card game we can't exactly call them stolen. Then again, knowing him, he probably cheated.
Anyway, as Wesker hums out an old Disney song, the tribe members show up. Rebecca and Jill look much worse than before, sporting black eyes, bloody lips, and the odd assortment of broken bones. Marcus and Billy are glaring at each other, each of them probably debating the best way to kill the other. Alfred is supremely glad he has immunity and is smiling like an idiot while clutching the pendant. Brad and Sanzo stagger up and sit down, with Fluffy trailing along behind. It would appear that Fluffy the Hunter and Sanzo the Licker are bonding as well. Creepy, I know, but work with me here.
"Like, Alfie you want to, like, give up your immunity?"
"Not on your bio-enhanced life you blonde bimbo freak!"
At this loud and insulting proclamation the entire tribe turns to stare at Alfred. Wesker doesn't seem to care and bursts into wild drunken laughter, good thing he's really, really out of it right now. Otherwise Alfred would probably be trying to pick his teeth, and various other appendages, up off the ground.
"Like, ok!" Wesker giggles again, for no apparent reason. "Like, go vote!"
Rebecca votes first, hobbling up to the jar. She scribbles out a name four times and holds up the card.
"Ok tub top your time on the island is over!" She drops the card in the pot and flips off the camera. "I just want you to know I slept with Chris back in the mansion…SO THERE!"
This statement is of course false, but she figures it will probably piss Jill off. She hobbles back to her seat and sits down. Billy is next to vote. He walks up to the jar, writes out the same name five times and holds up the card.
"Marcus…DIE YOU PSYCHOPATHIC MONGRAL OF A BAD SCIENTIST!" He drops the card in the pot and glares. "I HOPE THE REST OF YOUR LEECHES EAT YOU!"
Billy takes his seat, still glaring. Jill is up next. She limps up to the jar, holding her injured left side and the four broken ribs she acquired from Rebecca, and writes out the same name five times.
"Rebecca you are an idiot and you have the worst haircut ever!" Jill drops the vote in the pot and flips off the camera. "By the way you little gnome of evilness, I slept with Billy. Several times during the mansion thing and he said I was 100 times better than you!"
This statement is not false actually. I do believe that solves just where Billy went after he separated from Rebecca on that hill. I don't think that she is going to be pleased about this development either. Jill takes her seat, smiling evilly. Marcus is up next. He stalks up to the jar, writes out the same name six times, and holds up the card.
"Just die Billy, you pretty boy of a fluff!"
He drops the card in the pot and takes his seat. Alfred is up next. He practically runs to the pot, scribbles out the same name twice, and holds up the card.
"Um, Brad you are scary. I mean you used to be like a total wimp and was scared of everything. But, um, now your like really scary. Please don't hurt me…"
He drops the card in the pot and hurries back to his seat. Brad is up next. He skips up to the pot, Sanzo in tow, scribbles out the same name four times, and holds up the card.
"Hey Becky!" He grins, swaying a bit. "That whole whip thing is just not working out for you anymore. Besides which you don't look nearly as hot as Tira does when she rips her clothes off."
He grins again, drops the card in the pot, and skips back to his seat with Sanzo bounding after him. Wesker, in the meantime, has broken into a very interesting rendition of Save a Hoarse Ride a Cowboy, substituting Bio-enhanced Villain for the word cowboy. Who knew Wesker was a fan of country music?
After finishing the chorus he staggers over and grabs the pot, at the same time the cage with our jury comes into view. The poor slobs in the cage do not look well either, as all of them have several rolls of bandages covering their body. Must be those burns from when Alexia got dumped into the cage at the last Tribal Council. Speaking of Alexia, she appears to be unconscious and tied up at the moment with what was left of Carlos' shirt. I guess the jury took matters into their own hands after getting injured by her homicidal temper.
"Ok, like, whoever has the most votes is, like, going to the cage!"
Wesker yanks out the slips of paper and counts through them…five times. Finally he tosses them into the air, dances around a bit, and grins at the tribe. Said tribe now think Wesker has completely lost his mind, except Brad, who tossed Wesker a dollar for his efforts.
"Rebecca, you are, like, going bye, bye now…bring me that torch baby!"
Rebecca grabs the torch, heaves it at Wesker, and rips off her clothes. Wesker dodges the torch, which happens to land near the Jury cage and sparks off a chain reaction that ignites the poor ex-survivors once again. Needless to say they are not happy at this point.
Rebecca in the meantime does a flying leap at Wesker and smacks him several times with the whip. Much to her surprise and everyone else's dismay, Wesker grins widely.
"Oh yea Baby…smack it good!"
Several tribe members turn green and begin to get sick. Even the Jury, no longer on fire thanks to the producer and a very large fire extinguisher, get sick. The show's ratings have jumped by 30 points and several million woman viewing at home plan to buy whips and leather underwear.
Wesker grabs Rebecca by the back of the neck, sweeps her of her feet, kisses her passionately, and tosses her into the waiting cage.
"Alright, like, you can leave now!"
Wesker bounces off camera as the remaining survivors and jury become even more violently ill. Rebecca has passed out from shock…
Next Time on Survivor…
Wesker has the hangover from hell…
Brad, surprisingly, doesn't…
Yet again the pain and suffering of our contestants takes the form of a rather nasty immunity challenge…
A/N: Well I hope you enjoyed the chapter! Very close vote on this one, even I wasn't sure who was getting voted off at one point.
Thanks to everyone for their immunity challenge ideas! I plan on using several of them in the near future!