Title: Mistakes

Author: avril

Disclaimer: Not mine, obviously. Characters belong to respectable clamp and tokyopop

Rating: T for now, M for later chapters

Warning: It's going to be a dark story, containing some violence and yaoi. If this is not your cup of tea, please leave. You have been warned.

AN: I don't have a beta. If anyone is interested I will send candy.

Part 1

Rikuo was still asleep and Kazahaya came to woke him up since the breakfast was ready. He had a restless night and he got up early in the morning in order to escape his nightmares. It was cloudy outside and he felt gloomy. He made eggs with sausages today and he was almost proud of himself because the toast was just slightly burned.

'Breakfast!' he announced but the taller boy didn't even stir in his bed. Pondering what to do Kazahaya decided to be nicer than his savage flat mate and he bent to shake Rikou's shoulder when he saw an odd tattoo on Rikuo. He had never seen it before. It was huge and really weird as it would be burnt in his skin and not tattooed. It went from his shoulder all the way to his back. Kazahaya was mesmerized by flames on Rikuo's skin and he absentmindedly traced the edges of the tattoo with his fingertips.

Suddenly he was blinded by flashes before his eyes, he saw room covered in blood, and he heard screams and crying and hollow laugh that felt like stabbing in his head. Kazahaya moaned in pain and slid on the floor, the pain and guilt all too real.

Rikou woke up and pulled himself up when he caught a sight of Kazahaya trembling on the floor, repeating 'I killed her, I killed her… '.

The tall boy froze, he felt as the world had just come to an abrupt stop. It was like all air was sucked from the room and as his heartbeat was gone too. The realization hit him as a brick; all those years of looking for Tsukiko, all the pain when he found himself in another dead end, the helplessness he felt when even Saiga couldn't find any trace… Kakei being unable to see her future… it all suddenly made sense. He did it. Himself. Not psychopathic fan of hers, not jealous boyfriend, but her younger brother. Brother with his father's course, with twisted evil mind that slept under his conciseness, waiting to be trigged by something. Probably by his strong emotions, his blind rage when she told him that she was leaving.

The truth he was searching for so desperately was hidden inside him. He was a murderer, a psychopath just like his father. He was curious how come that Kakei didn't sense anything.

It was Kazahaya's fault; he sneaked on him while he was sleeping to spy on him, ungrateful brat. Rikuo stood up and grabbed smaller boy by his arms, shaking him violently.

'How dare you spy on me when I am sleeping?'

Kazahaya felt pain in his arms and the haze in front of his eyes had started fading.

'What… I… I didn't want to spy… I was trying to wake you… I did,' Kazahaya was frantically trying to explain that he didn't do it intentionally. He sensed that Rikuo felt betrayed, scared, disgusted and mad like he had never been before.

'I don't care! I hate you; I regret the day I was so stupid to save you. No wonder nobody was there to help you!'

'Please Rikuo, I didn't mean to spy on you, honest! I made a breakfast; I wanted to tell you…I'm sorry…' Kazahaya was crying, his big eyes reflecting the pain that Rikuo's words inflicted.

'Just get out of my sight, I don't want to see you again. If you are not leaving, I will…' Rikuo pushed crying boy into the wall and left the room. Kazahaya slowly got up and walked to his room. He opened his closet and threw his belongings in his backpack. It wasn't much. Mostly clothes, a spare pair of snickers, some money he managed to save and bar of chocolate. He wiped his eyes and headed to the door. Kazahaya hesitated for a moment and then said:' Look, I'm sorry… I would never spy on you, really… I'm sorry…'

'Just leave,' said Rikuo in icy voice. His eyes were cold and determined.

'I am,' Kazahaya's voice was almost a whisper; he opened the door and left the apartment. Back to the streets.

TBC