HCF Camp…
Oh yes, that time again and Cameraman I is right on top of things today. In fact he looks downright excited at the prospect of interviewing our survivors. Considering what happened to the other cameramen, I'm going to have to guess that he's been chewing on a few of the leftover herbs from the reward challenge.
Be that as it may, he's trotted on over to Alfred to get his opinion on the up and coming vote.
"I have to get rid of Brad…he's still really, really, really, really, really…"
Cameraman I listens patiently as Alfred continues to tally up reallys. After twenty minutes he is apparently ready to finish his initial thought.
"…really, really, scary. Plus he used me as a human shield, which I really didn't like too much."
Cameraman I nods vigorously, pats Alfred on the head, and bounds off to his next victim. Next victim being Billy, who is laying flat on his back near the fire, looking completely worn out. I guess his energy burst from the herbs finally wore off.
"…jill…" he mumbles tiredly. "…jill…she hit me…gotta get rid of her…I hurt…"
Cameraman I clucks his tongue and tosses a blanket over Billy before bounding off to aggravate Jill.
"Oh I know who is going down." She cackles evilly going a bit cross-eyed, I think she's still high. "Oh yes…"
Jill then proceeds to laugh in a very Wesker-like way, while swaying back and forth. After several minutes of this, she falls over in the sand and passes out. Despite being unconscious, she's still laughing.
Cameraman I just shakes his head, grins widely, and heads toward Brad. Now Brad seems to be having a great time just sitting in the sand with his arms flung around Sanzo and Fluffy. From the looks of things he only has maybe two beers left of the original twelve.
"I dooooooon't knoooooow…" Brad then giggles in a very Alfred-like way. "I wanna be a mongoose dog!"
Cameraman I busts out laughing and flops down next to Brad, Sanzo, and Fluffy. He produces another case of Corona and the four of them proceed to drink heavily. I'm currently thinking, given the state Brad is in, that mixing herbs with beer is not a good idea…then again who am I to stop them.
At the Tribal Council area…
Alexandra yawns loudly, petting Bob…who just happens to be laying in the crook of Alexandra's left arm. If Bob were a cat instead of a genetically enhanced super leech, this scene might look like something out of a James Bond movie. You know, where the evil mastermind is sitting in his chair, petting his cute white fluffy cat. Of course Bob is NOT a cat, so it looks really creepy.
"Where the hell are they?" Alexandra glances at her watch. "This is beginning to get quite boring."
"Boring my ass!"
Alexandra turns slightly to see a very disheveled Wesker walking toward her from the woods. She cocks her head, giving him a good once over.
"You look like hell, is that a gunshot wound in your chest?"
"Four of them actually, plus a few stab wounds." Wesker seems uninterested in his injuries though. "But I'm here to talk about a certain black flag that was used in a certain immunity challenge."
"Oh." Alexandra sighed, laid Bob on the railing, and pulled off her sunglasses. "I suppose we have to have a big climactic fight scene now."
"Holy beeping shit!" Wesker's jaw actually hit the ground. "When the beep did you get beeping yellow eyes?"
"Oh, these?" Alexandra smirked, dropping her sunglasses on the ground very dramatically. "I might have fibbed a bit when I said I was the Alexandra version that still worked for Umbrella…my bad…"
"Ooooh…great…"
! - IMPORTANT NEWS BREAK - !
"There has been a significant development at the courthouse, we go live to Christina Wesker…"
The camera picks up a very disheveled Ice, in fact she has a bloody lip, black eye, and her nice pants suit is torn in several places.
"Good evening, the fight between Umbrella and Harvard Chemical appears to be at a standstill. Both sides look to have run out of reinforcements to call on and various dangerous chemicals to throw at each other. Earlier the last remaining reinforcement for Harvard, left after completely snapping over an episode of Survivor. Cue the tape!"
Ice's face is replaced with a view of the courthouse as several innocent bystanders come running out of the building and down the steps. A few seconds later Wesker comes bolting out the doors, looking really pissed off.
"YOU!"
Ice's shout is quickly followed by several gun shots, four of which hit Wesker in the chest. The gunshots do not appear to hurt him and only seem to piss him off more. What follows is a lot of cursing and Ice jumping Wesker from behind with a combat knife in her hand. After stabbing him repeatedly, Wesker beats her roughly about the head and shoulders, tosses her in a nearby dumpster, hops in a conveniently placed HCF chopper, and flies off.
The tape ends and once again Ice stands before the camera.
"As of now, the death count stands at: 35 Zombies -- Four Tyrants -- 16 U.B.C.S. Agents -- 10 HCF Agents -- And two Tax Attorneys that happened to wander into the courtroom…which lead to the only truce between Umbrella and Harvard through this entire fiasco."
"Right now, there is a standoff between the two factions…we'll bring you an…"
KA--BOOOOOOOOOOOM!
The street erupts in pandemonium as the courthouse blows to smithereens, raining various debris over everyone present. Seconds later Vincent and Sir Spencer stumble out of the rubble.
"That was not fair!" Vincent stomps his foot, shaking a finger at Spencer. "What the hell man!"
"Oh stuff it moron." Spencer snaps, raking some stone chips out of his hair. "I didn't have much choice!"
"Kiss my ass Spencer! You didn't have to blow up the damn building!" Vincent looks madder than Wesker did earlier. "You even had a damn computer telling us how much time was left…FOR CHRIST'S SAKE THERE WAS A FLORESCENT GREEN TIMER OVER OUR HEADS!"
"Well excuse me! These things have to end like that!"
"What, do you Umbrella assholes invest in dynamite or something!"
"Well it would seem the matter is closed for now." Ice is ignoring the ongoing argument behind her. "Back to you in the studio."
The anchorwoman blinks several times, looking confused and frightened…
"Uh…"
! - BACK TO THE SHOW ALREADY IN PROGRESS - !
Tribal Council area…
Billy, Jill, and Alfred skidded to a halt, their mouths hung open. In the middle of the council area Wesker and Alexandra were engaged in the sibling rivalry to end all sibling rivalries…they were doing their best to kill each other in a very painful way.
"Alfred you gonna…OWW!" Alexandra rubbed at her face and then bitch slapped Wesker. "…give up your immunity?"
"Uh…no…"
"Then vote you insolent little minions of stupidity!" Wesker snapped, tackling Alexandra to the ground. "NOW DAMN IT!"
Jill is the first to run over and scribble out the same name six times. She holds up the card with shaking hands.
"Um…Billy, yea for like the stuff you said and junk…"
Jill grimaces, drops the card in the pot, and hurries back to hide behind Fluffy. Alfred makes a mad dash to the pot, scribbles out the same seven times, and holds up the card…looking more scared than usual.
"Um…Brad is a big meanie."
He drops the card, missing the pot, and rushes back to hide behind Fluffy and Jill. Billy actually looks like he's keeping his kool as he power walks to the pot, fills out the same name three times, and holds up the card.
"Jill, for trying to bash my brains in…you must leave the island."
He hurries back, taking a position very close to Fluffy. Brad is last. He staggers up to the jar, Sanzo trailing after him, and looks completely oblivious to the fighting behind him. He scribbles out the same name three times, wasting a few minutes drawing pretty pictures around said name, and holds up the card.
"Billy…you suck…hehe."
He drops the card in the pot and staggers back to the others, Sanzo in tow. Now comes the fun part, the actual counting of the votes.
Alexandra kicks Wesker in the knee and bolts for the jar. Just as she gets her hands on it, Wesker jumps her, knocking her to the ground. The jar hit's the ground, the votes spilling out over the ground.
"Get off!"
Alexandra elbowed Wesker in the nose and scrambles for the votes.
"Billy…Billy…Jill…Brad…Jill…ACK!"
Wesker pushes Alexandra's face into the sand, bracing a knee in her back.
"My job! Jill…Brad…Billy…OWWW!"
Alexandra throws a bit of sand in Wesker's eyes and as he falls sideways, she jumps up and kicks him in the face.
"Butt out Blondie! Brad…Brad…Billy…AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"
And suddenly poor Alexandra is airborne…
Somewhere on the Island…
"This is getting ridicules." Alyssa whined, flopping down on a nearby rock. "Where the beep are we?"
"I have no idea." Claire sighed. "As long as that thing isn't following us, I don't care either."
Suddenly a flying body landed on Alyssa, knocking her out cold. The ex-survivors gather around the two women, making a loose circle. The 'body' glances up, looking quite the worse for wear with several bruises on her face and her clothes are badly torn.
"Owww."
Alex's head then flops over as she too falls unconscious. Leon glances at Chris, who shrugs…
Back at Tribal Council…
"Come here you!"
Wesker snatches Billy by the collar and throws him in the cage with the others. He then spins around and glares at the last three survivors.
"We're done now."
The other three nod then take off like speed injected rabbits. Except Brad, who is drunkenly trying to console Fluffy.
Next Time On Survivor…
Our happy Cameraman makes a friend…
The evil authoress changes the rules once again…
A/N: Real close vote this time between Brad and Billy. Well just three left guys…time's getting short. I hope everyone liked my little tribute to Invader Zim…for those of you who have seen the show, you should be able to spot the lines I'm talking about.