HCF camp…
Cameraman I skips about the camp like that moron he is. I'm staring to seriously think that the producers of the show are giving him drugs to make him this damn perky. Be that as it may, the show must go on. Not that there appears to be a whole lot happening at the moment.
Brad is playing fetch with Sanzo and Fluffy, since Fluffy is still upset over Billy getting voted off. Jill is sleeping in and Alfred is hiding in a nearby palm tree. No, I have no idea why he's climbed up a palm tree armed with only a stick and a few coconuts. Maybe he still thinks Brad is going to hunt him down and do icky things to him.
"Hey! Little scardy man-like thing!" Cameraman I waves at Alfred, holding several yellow herbs in one hand and a case of beer. "Come on down, I'll give you some yummy beer!"
Alfred attempts to climb down, slips, and falls right on top of Jill. What ensues is violence which is not suitable to show the viewing audience…
On the beach…
Wesker doesn't look to happy, in fact he looks downright ticked off. I suppose all the bandages wrapped around his chest isn't making his day any brighter. Then again, it is time for the immunity challenge and I suspect he'll be perking up any moment now.
As if cued the last three remaining survivors traipse onto the beach. Bob squeaks as Wesker's face breaks into a huge evil grin. The three survivors glance at each other, shudder, and resign themselves to the horrors to come.
"Well good morning to you all. I'm sorry to say my lovely sister will not be joining us today. However I…"
"ALBIE!"
Wesker tries to run, he really does, but the strength and speed of a Bio-enhanced Treacherous Bastard is simply no match for the tenacity and determination of a Rabid Fan Girl. Wesker hits the ground face first, with the authoress sitting on his back, and Bob landing on her head. Poor little guy went flying when W.C. tackled Wesker.
"How's my cute little Albie?"
"I've been better…"
"Well I just popped by to tell you that this immunity actually does matter. You cannot give it away."
W.C. then covers Wesker with kisses, leaps to her feet, and skips off. A few seconds later Bob comes flying back toward Wesker and lands on the back of his head. Wesker is actually crying with relief at this point…
Somewhere on the island…
"Will you people stop staring at me!"
Everyone jumped as Alex's voice cut through the area like a hot knife through butter.
"Yeesh! You'd think I was some kind of freaky monster!"
It should be noted that as she was ranting…she had knocked over three full sized palm trees. Needless to say, things are getting interesting on the island today…
Back on the beach…
"Now then." Wesker dusts himself off, regaining some of his normal evil persona. "Time for the immunity challenge."
As usual there is a universal groan from the survivors, which really isn't as effective as it used to be since there is only three of them left. Wesker's grin widened as he handed each person a map and a pencil.
"The immunity is out there somewhere. What you have is a map of the island. Of course none of the traps, monsters, or other dangerous things out there are marked on it, hence the reason I was nice enough to give you the pencil. Off you go!"
Jill, Alfred, and Brad glance at each other, not at all sure they really want to go wandering around the island. I mean besides all the B.O.W. that is wandering around, thanks to previous challenges, they all have no doubts that Wesker has other not so pleasant surprises for them.
But as usual they think about that million dollars and off they go. You know I'm starting to think they don't get any royalty checks for any of the games. I mean if they were getting even a small cut of all the RE related merchandise out there…well let's just say that a million dollars would be like pocket change.
Anyway…
Jill heads right, Alfred heads left, while Brad, Sanzo, and Fluffy go up the middle. Sounds like a bad pass play in football. Be that as it may, they are off like rabbits…wait for it…on mixed herbs and beer.
I bet you thought I was going to say crack didn't you? Well you were WRONG…MWAHAHAHAHA…
Ahem…but I digress…
Jill's location…
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"
Jill ran by doing about fifty miles an hour, which I really didn't think was possible unless you were Wesker, followed closely by six Hunters, three Lickers, and two Cleaners with machine guns. I guess it's pretty obvious she is not having any luck finding that immunity item.
Alfred's location…
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"
Oh look, Alfred found El Gigante…how nice…
Brad's location…
"Good boy Sanzo!"
Brad pats Sanzo on the head. Sanzo jumps up and down, dropping the upper half of a zombie on the ground. Fluffy comes hopping up, a Cleaner hanging out of his rather large reptilian mouth.
"Good boy Fluffy, now drop the Cleaner."
Fluffy does, as Brad pats him on the head. The Cleaner quickly dissolves, leaving behind only a machine gun and several clips. Brad grabs the gun and clips, then tosses Fluffy and Sanzo a couple of Milk Bones and consults his map.
"Well, looks like we've got this area pretty much cleaned out. On to the next!"
Somewhere on the island…
The former tree-bound, and now completely-lost survivors, stop to take a break near a small stream. Everyone is still staring at Alex like she might decide to turn into Charles Manson and go on a sadistic Ashford-like crazy killing spree. Seeing as how we've already seen several of the survivors do Wesker-like violence, it might be interesting to see some Ashford-like craziness…at least it would break the monotony.
Alex of course is ignoring this. In fact she appears to be acting a bit more like Wesker than perhaps everyone present if comfortable with. With the exception of Nicholai, Leon, and Chris, who think it's kinda sexy.
"Ok, we have…to…go…"
Alex trails off as six Hunters, three Lickers, and two Cleaners…with machine guns…go running by screaming like five year old girls. Several silent seconds pass, while the former survivors try to figure out just what the hell is going on. Then the silence is broken by a loud Xenia: Warrior Princess yell and a strange flapping noise.
"HOLY SHIT!"
Alex dives out of the way as Jill goes hopping by at top speed. I should mention the reason she is hopping is because she is riding a very large Lurker at the moment. Perhaps she was jealous over Brad having Sanzo and Fluffy, who knows. Be that as it may, Jill is currently in hot pursuit of her former tormenters. As she passes out of the clearing, Alex sits up…brushing some twigs out her hair.
"And you guys were staring at me like I was some kind of freak."
Alfred's Location…
Apparently Alfred has somehow managed to lose the El Gigante that was following him. In fact he looks very, very relaxed as he…uh…err…arranges flowers. I know, I know, it's creeping me out too. In fact, the only thing creepier than Alfred doing lovely flower arrangements is the fact that he's got help from Plant 42.
"Oh that is just lovely!" Alfred squeals, beaming up at Plant 42. "You're very good at this."
Suddenly the camera blinks out and various strange noises are heard. Umm…trust me, you don't want to know what is going on, you'll just get sick…
Brad's Location…
"Hrmmm…" Brad looks at the can for a moment or two before tossing it over his shoulder. "I don't really care much for canned aerosol cheese. Come on Fluffy, Sanzo."
The two B.O.W. yip with happiness and quickly follow Brad toward a very strange looking stone structure…
Somewhere on the Island…
"I think…OWWW!"
Alex stumbles as a can of aerosol cheese bounces off her head and lands in the bushes. She then indulges in a bit of Wesker-like anger, which sort of makes sense because she is a Wesker after all, by snapping several palm trees in half. While she's doing that, Yoko retrieves the can of cheese.
"Ummm, is anybody hungry enough to actually eat this?"
There is a universal NO from the former survivors. Yoko prepares to toss the can back into the bushes when Birkin snags it out of her hand.
"I have an idea. According to my calculations the chemical makeup of aerosol cheese is consistent with several ingredients found in paint and concrete. I believe we can utilize this to our advantage."
You can hear the sounds of various jungle animals in the silence that follows Birkin's extremely technical explanation of aerosol cheese.
"Umm, that is…"
"What's the plan?" Alex snaps, finishing off her last palm tree and cracking her neck. "I understand that aerosol cheese is highly dense and has the same hardening agent as glue, but I do not quite see how that is going to be a benefit to us."
You can now add Birkin to the list of people who now find Alex irresistibly sexy. The fact that the four men now drool every time Alex bends over does not appear to be pleasing any of the women present, except Annette…who is hoping that Alex will get the hots for Birkin, thus resulting in William asking for a divorce. Hey, she can dream can't she?
"Well, since the cheese will harden relatively fast and will not dissipate for quite some time, I thought we could use it to signal for help. The fact that the cheese is colored with yellow dye number five and orange dye number seven is an added bonus, as it will make the message that much easier to see."
There is a slight muffle as the survivors turn their heads from Birkin to Alex, looking for an explanation.
"I see, we could use the cheese to write a help message. A very good idea Doctor."
Birkin blushes a bright crimson, making the other four men gag. Hunk still thinks Alex is his Mommy, so he's not currently a love interest at this time. The women are glaring daggers at Alex, while William writes the message.
The plan goes relatively well, until the scent of aerosol cheese reached the nostrils of the nearby El Gigante. Everything sort of goes to hell from there as El Gigante comes crashing into the clearing and chases after our poor formerly tree bound survivors…
Jill's Location…
Jill slows Cloud to a stop and hops to the ground, glancing at her map. It would appear that Jill is a rather large fan of Final Fantasy VII, hence the reason she has named the Lurker Cloud. If you haven't already realized it, which I'm pretty sure you have, these people are not right…not in the slightest.
"Let's see here…ummm…"
As Jill looks over her map, trying to figure out where the hell she is, Cloud hops around eating random zombies that wander into his path. After several minutes she finally realizes, after seeing Wesker in a lawn chair, that she is back on the beach. This observation results is a long string of very unladylike obscenities that are not fit for the viewing audience.
Wesker is finding it very amusing…until Jill hops back on Cloud and starts chasing after him and Bob…
Alfred's Location…
"This is really nice of you."
Plant 42, hereafter referred to as Lady…Alfred is a fan of Devil May Cry 3, go figure…shakes one of its vines at him, rather lovingly I might add, as she carries him through the jungle.
Let's see what Brad is up to before I throw up…
Brad's Location…
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"
Brad comes flying out of the freaky temple astride Fluffy, with Sanzo just a step behind, and several dozen Tyrants running after them. I guess Wesker wasn't lying when he said he'd put out some traps. On the plus side, Brad is holding the immunity necklace…Sherry's pendant…and has Ashley riding behind him. I was kinda wondering where she went after that one immunity challenge…
Somewhere on the Island…
"RUN FASTER!"
Alex is leading the pack, with Sparky and his brother in her bra, and Hunk riding piggyback. Chris is just behind with Claire, who has fainted, flung over his shoulder. Birkin and Leon are running a close third carrying Ada, who has fainted as well. Yoko and Annette are running neck and neck in fourth place, carrying Nicholai who is babbling like an idiot. Alyssa is bringing up the rear, screaming her head off, and no one seems to care. In fact it looks like everyone is hoping she gets eaten sometime in the next two minutes, by the El Gigante that is still chasing them.
Just as the former survivors burst into a huge clearing, Alex runs face first into her brother. As they both topple to the ground, Jill leaps over them on Cloud and accidentally lands on Yoko, Annette, and Nicholai. Two seconds later Alfred and Lady come onto the scene, trip over Wesker and Alex and land on top of poor Chris and Claire. If this wasn't bad enough, suddenly Brad, Sanzo, and Fluffy arrive on the scene, trip over the people who have already fallen to the ground and land on top of poor Birkin, Leon, and Ada.
There is several moans of pain, mixed with screaming from Alyssa…Cloud is trying to eat her…as the three dozen tyrants appear on the scene. What happens next can only be described as uncontrolled chaos.
"THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT!"
Alex is strangling her brother with extreme prejudice, while poor Hunk lays unconscious, and Sparky is trying to nibble off Wesker's ear. Needless to say Wesker is freaking out right now.
Chris, Leon, Birkin, and Nicholai are all trying to kill each other over Alex.
Yoko, Claire, Ada, and Annette are all trying desperately to kill Alyssa.
Jill, Brad, and Alfred are fighting over the immunity item while their respective pets fight each other and Ashley screams her head off for no apparent reason.
During this giant free for all the three dozen tyrants and El Gigante just point and laugh at the madness. Finally Brad manages to shove the pendant into Wesker's hand, completely by accident I might add, and the immunity challenge is over.
The show's Producer soon breaks up the fight, sicking the three dozen tyrants and El Gigante on the former survivors. While the severely wounded former survivors, and Ashley, run off into the jungle with their pursuers close behind, the Producer herds the three contestants and their pets back to camp, reminding them about the tribal council meeting that night. She then carts off a comatose Wesker into a nearby chopper for some medical attention…
Next Time on Survivor…
Who will become the final jury member?
A/N: First I would like to thank Maurice Valmont for the flower arranging idea, GoldenB for the find the immunity idol idea, Akai Kahghe for the lurker riding idea, and Cobal+Dragon for the aerosol cheese idea. All of those were excellent immunity challenge ideas I decided to thrown into one chapter, in one form or another, since this is the last immunity challenge chapter. Hope you enjoyed!
Alright, here's the deal. Brad has immunity, you CANNOT vote for him at all! Your choices:
Jill or Alfred
Cast your votes people and only three more chapters to go!