Author's Note:) Hi Hi Otaku! This story is being written from the stairs that go to nowhere:P I really can't find my way off these darn things! Where am I going pray tell?...The concert of the bands that suck!...So I really don't know why I'm here if these things lead to nowhere! ZAAA? Well, considering my surroundings and I'm writing a story! Beware! Diana of the Felis is being weird!...AGAIN:D : :) :
-- Be afraid; be very afraid! --
A Typical Day in
Crystal Tokyo
PART 2
It's early in the morning in Crystal Tokyo and the glistening dew is evaporating just in time to see the sun rise over the peak of the tallest most brillantly shining castle in the whole town. The white Moon castle turrets are usually bright this moring...I wish I could say the same for the people inside! Especially in this fan fiction series!
Tsukino Usagi and Chiba Mamoru are resting comfortably in their bed (Don't think that! You Hentai Perve!) as their daughter, Chiba Usagi, or Chibi Usa, the name she was affectionately given to replace
"BUNNY FREAK!", plans the take over of Crystal Tokyo!
Princess Usagi: Heh! Now, I know where the main controls are!
She looks over some blue prints she got from Haruka's and Michuru's bed yesterday...Still, I might have an Idea of why Haruka's and Michuru's bed is a better place for milatary secrets than Area 51...Which I might ad, since the citizens of Crystal Tokyo found out where their royal families were born, Area 51 is now a full up-and-running chain of commercial diners:)
Princess Usagi: So now that I know all this vital info I can kick Mommy and Daddy out on their butts and I can rule this kingdom like it should be run! Besides I don't think that Mommy's very trust worthy any more I mean with that guy comming over EVERY Wednesday! What's his name Seika...No...Seiy...WHAT WAS THAT! :Stuffs vital info under pillow:
Helios: I didn't hear any thing!
Princess Usagi: Aw, is my cuutey wuutey horesy woresy hungry wungry?
Chibi jumps out of bed and runs across the room to see her horse who sleeps in her room on a pillow stuffed with weapons that Sailor Moon doesn't use any more...OH! I get it that's where she put them all!
Helios: Don't talk to me like that I'm really a boy your age you know, and I helped you swipe Queen Setsuna's Time Staff so you'd even have more power, my great Queen...See I didn't say "Bunny Freak" so could you like move the Spiral Moon heart rod it's poking me somewhere unpleasent!
(:That sounds so bad on so many differnt levels:)
Helios looks proud as Chibi helps him. Then she turned around to look at the info again.
Princess Usagi: Yeah! You really botched that job! You're lucky she can't run that fast!...Oh and by the way if you're really a boy, like we know you are...Why don't to trasform back once in a while!
Helios: I LIKE being a Horse:)
Helios smiles the most sickningly sadistic smile a horse could have as he flaps his wings, very slowly, almost enjoying it...The princess gets a disgusted and horrified look on her face. She slowly backs away then makes a mad dash for her bed hiding from her freak of a horse!
Princess Usagi: My dad is cute, but my mom doesn't deserve him, but me the most talented, beautiful, of the three Sailor Moons and I get stuck with a guy that has a fondness for being a horse! :She looks at her bed:
Aw...Hi Diana! My little GRAY kitten. How are you feeling today?
Diana looks up at her in that superior cat-like sort of way and...
Diana: I'm really a Ronin Warrior and I'm gonna take your time slot pretty Soilder Girl!...No wait you're expecting that!...I'm really and under paid actress! So tell me WHEN DO I GET TO BE HUMAN! If the horse doesn't want to I can take his turn for him! :She nods a bit too enthusiastically:
Helios: Be my guest! I like my horn too, come to think of it :Starts to get that look again: (Tasteless joke #2)
Princess Usagi: I'm scared of my pets! :Hides under her sheets:
Meanwhile in the main Moon bedroom...
Queen Serenity turns over in bed and hits something hard...With her eyes still closed she rubs her injured nose...
Neo Queen Serenity: Honey, move over or I will have you hung for treason...:Push:
King Endymion: Uhh...huh? Oh sure, oh my great Queen I'll roll over...AHHH:::WhaBAM:::He hits the ground yet keeps sleeping:
Neo Queen Serenity: Oh fine I am up! Now are you happy! I would sleep until noon if it was not for the country on the brink of insanity and you rolling over on me in the middle of the night! Oh yes, and our daughter that little...eh! Never mind!
MOON ETERNAL MAKE UP!
Bye, Honey, go to go to work!
:Kiss: She walks out the front door as she sees Sailor Star Fighter climbing the side of the Moon castle, with quite a load of wall climing equiptment and a BIG ASS axe!
ETERNAL SAILOR MOON: Hi Seiya:::Cooing: Why are you here? It is really early:)
Sailor Star Fighter: Ohaiyogosaimasu, Odongo! I'm just trying to kill your husband:)
Eternal Moon: Oh okay, Hi! MINAKO-CHAN & HOTARU-CHAN!
She looks down the road to see Super Sailor Saturn and Super Sailor Venus heading off "work".
Super Sailor Venus: Hi Queen Serenity!
Super Sailor Saturn: I gotta go.
Venus: Where?
Saturn: Well...Doctor's apointment.
Eternal Moon: I thought you could heal your self?
Venus: Well?
Saturn: Well I don't know. I can't heal any more! Also, I have a sudden desire to swallow Chibi Usa's heart crystal, destroy the world, and smash any thing that resembles the Talisman Holy Grail. My lamp collection is in grave danger!
ETERNAL MOON: It is that darn Ginzuishou again:::whispers to Venus: You grab her Glaive I will hold her down.
Venus: Huh?
Saturn: What was that about the crystal?...And stay the HELL away from my Silence Glaive!
ETERNAL MOON: Ask Queen Makoto, she found out yesterday!
All three look down the road as Queen Makoto runs up the street screaming and pulling her hair with a big cloud of dust behind her...She stops abruptly and looks at Saturn, Venus, and Eternal Sailor Moon.
Queen Makoto: Hi Hi EveryBodeeeeeeeeee!
She smiles a little strangely and walks away like nothing happened! All three blink :)
Venus: What happened to her?
Saturn: Maybe, I should just eat her heart crystal...:Looks hungry:
ETERNAL MOON: Hey guys! Come to my house we can have fun with all the Anime videos I rented!
Venus: Sure...but, wait, aren't we Anime? :Paradox: Any way we'll both come!...Right Hotaru?
Saturn: I meanshe doesn't look like she needs her crystal any...
Moon & Venus: GO TO THE DOCTOR SATURN:
Saturn jumps back in shock, facefaults, and walks off. Moon and Venus go to the castle and go upstairs and watch at least three hours of Anime...The day is almost over when.
ETERNAL MOON: Kokkoi:::She blows on her nails and picks up another magazine:
Venus: Hey Usagi-chan thanks for having me over!
ETERNAL MOON: No problem! Minako, do you have any good gossip?
Venus: YEAH! But you probably heard it all...I mean you are the Queen!
ETERNAL MOON: Yeah! But the Queen of this kingdom!
Venus: 'Nuff said...So, let's see...Oh today I heard that Chibi Usa is trying to take over Cry...
ETERNAL MOON: Old news! Next one!
Venus: Are you gonna stop her?
ETERNAL MOON: Well, she is not disturbing the PeAcE...MUSt KeeP PPEaCE:::shakes:::Venus looks away and sweat drops:
Venus: Eh...Oooooookay...Number two! Uhh...Oh you should have see it! Diana was ranting on the gallow stand again! She said something about being under paid and not getting a chance to be...human? I don't get it either!
ETERNAL MOON: Oh poor Princess Usagi she must be having an awuful time with such sadistic pets!
Venus: That's not all I heard...Helios, you know horse-boy, well I heard he is having an Identity crisis! He likes being a horse! So, Usagi, don't count on normal...Ok, any grandchilden...that's just sick right there!
ETERNAL MOON: Good thing I got Chibi Usa that nice sane Ferret! I think Its name is...Hoshi.
The princess walks by the open doorway to the hall with a rabid looking Ferret on her head yelling...
Hoshi: I WANNA BE A STAR STAR STAR I WANNA HAVE MY NAme up in...
Venus: What the Hell...:::Blinks:
Princess Usagi: AHH...AHH...AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH:Runs down the hall as the Ferret walks in the other direction.
Hoshi: YES! Now I get her bed:::swishes tail and walks into Chibi's room:
ETERNAL MOON: Oops...Any way! Minako-chan have any more good ones?
Venus: Acctually, this on has you in it Usagi!
ETERNAL MOON: What are those dumb...I'm mean...Loyal followers saying about me now!
Venus: They're saying that...well, if this is true, you should know Kou Seiya, Sailor Star Fighter...
They lean closer so Venus can whisper in her ear ...
Venus: I heard that Seiya is spending quite a lot of 'Quality TIME' at the Moon Cas...
Eternal Moon: OLD NEWS! Something else please:::Usagi looks around rapidly:
Venus: ZAAA?
Eternal Moon: Oh look at the time you better be going now, Venus.
Venus: Oh yeah! How'd we let it get this late! Setsuna must be slipping!
Setsuna pops in the window; eyes crossed; high grin
Pluto: SoRRRIIIIIIIIY...MY BAD:::Pops out:
Eternal Moon: Well, you know that she "misplaced" her staff!
Venus: Oh no, that's awuful!
Eternal Moon: Yah yah really awful! Come on I want to go to bed!
Venus: You know you can still be a cry-baby with out using contractions it's amazing!...OOf!
Sailor Moon pushes Venus out the front door and slams it as Venus turns around and sees Saturn holding a little bottle of pills and her glaive!
Super Sailor Saturn: First, I command that the light of the world to DIE!
Venus: Saturn NO!
Back at the moon castle Queen Serenity has detransformed and is cleaning up for bed in the bathroom when the lights went out!
Neo Queen Serenity: Huh? Oh not again!
King Endymion: Who turned out the lights?
Neo Queen Serenity: Very predictable, my dear! Hold on!
MECHANDISABLE 'MOON' PHRASE POWER THWACK!
Queen Serenity puts the Crystal on the Moon Eternal Teal, that she keeps on a towel rack, and waved it in the air as the lights came back on...
Meanwhile out side...Venus is triying to pull Saturn down off the rock she's standing and laughing evily on. When the lights come on.
Saturn: MWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA...Huh?...AHHHHHHHHHHHH:::BAM:
Venus and Saturn hit the dirt as she shakes, her eyes turn to stars as she becomes five again, mentally...(the Crystal is messed up remember?)
Saturn: I wanna go have more cute little Anti-Christ dreams about Eternal Sailor Moon! Hee Heeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!
Venus: I want out of this story:::Saturn skips off:
Inside Queen Serenity was brushing her teeth as she heard a :creak: in the bed room.
Neo Queen Serenity: Mamo-chan?
King Endymion: Hai?
Neo Queen Serenity: What are you doing?
King Endymion: Nothing...
Neo Queen Serenity: Are you going though my 'Mystical box of CRAPP'?
King Endymion: I thought you kept your 'Mystical box of CRAP' upstairs?
Neo Queen Serenity: No, That is my 'Mystical box of CRAP', my box of CRAPP I keep in the bedroom!
King Endymion: Oh...:Carefully lifts lid:
Neo Queen Serenity: You know what will happen if you look at my stuff with out asking?
King Endymion: No? What?
Neo Queen Serenity: Well, have you seen Queen Ami lately?
King Endymion: Why?...
Mamoru stops looking though her things and looks over his shoulder, Ami's Head rolls through the bed room as Mamo-chan facefaults!
King Endymion: She's getting soap on the carpet!
Queen Ami's head: Sooooooooooooooooo SORRY! :Rolls out into hall:
Mamoru blinks and Ami's Body runs; falls, then runs then falls again :Hoo Boy that just keeps getting funnier: Mamo-chan slams the lid of the Mystical box of CRAPP...and wonders...
King Endymion: Why didn't I marry that nice stable Rei Hino?
Mamoru stands up and begins to walk along the wall to the bed, passing the doorway, as he does this, a huge axe, prefectly timed, crashes down infront of him and imbeds itself in the floor before of him. He gulps and the axe falls over. He looks down the hall to see Fighter running away really fast.
Sailor Star Fighter: Shimatta! I missed! SHIMATTA SHIMATTA SHIMATTA! :She jumps out of the window at the end of the hall:
King Endymion face faulted and jumped into bed in fear.
He pulled the sheets up over himself.
King Endymion: Usako? Why did all that just happen?
Neo Queen Serenity: All what, Dear? :Smiles sweetly:
King Endymion: Oh nothing...:looks around nervously:
Usako turns off the light
Neo Queen Serenity: Oh Mamo-chan, the Crystal is messed up again and I believe that it is messing up are immortal minds...Well, the ones that were not messed up before! So, I will take care of those problems tomorrow! Wow, I wasted the whole day I almost feel like my old self if was not for that over whelming traumatic memory...that I shoved deep into my subconcious! Oops! Too much talk...Sleep now!
Princess Usagi: Get the hell out of my bed, Jerk Ass!
PINK CHIBI RAT KICK!
Sounds of the 'first Ferret in space' can be heard over the horizion. As the town is silent...Whoa scary...well Queen Haruka and Queen Michuru are up but they don't count:
Ami's Head: Makenai! Ashita Sailor YELL! DIE DIE DIE Die die...!
Ami's body runs and falls behind her head as she runs through the town.
Author's Note-- Hey! Don't look at me! That was really scary, even for me:o Sooooooo-- The Mercury head gag rolls on...HAHAHA that was so...eh: I think if you like this story...That you'll acctually be intersested in this next part of the Author's note!
-- Will Saturn's body srink to match her mind this time?
-- Will she destroy the world or eat Mako's heart Crystal:O
Mako watch your back:o
-- Will Venus move back to England to escape losing her mind too?
TOO LATE :P
-- Will Diana ever get paid more:)
-- Is she really a Ronin Warrior:D (I'm a cat?)
-- Does she date White Blaze behind Artemis & Luna's back?
-- Does Greg know Sailor Moon had his girlfriend beheaded?
-- What exactly is wrong with the Crystal:O
-- What does Seiya do with all the time he/she spends at Usagi's?
LONG LIVE QUEEN CHIBI? No way! Helios is really scewed in the head!
This just in-- Ferrett, Hoshi, dicovered life outside the universe:)
:Freaky Star Healer Voice: BYE BYE, Diana of Felis :)