A/N: Well the vote started out close, but it didn't stay that way. Of course, being the sadistic authoress that I am…well…you don't get to find out who wins till the last chapter. For those of you who have watched Survivor, you understand why this is happening like this.

For those of you who haven't seen the show, I apologize…but I don't mean it…am I evil or what?

Now…on with the jury…

HCF Camp…

Cameraman J is especially board this morning, considering that none of the remaining survivors are actively trying to kill each other…or him for that matter. In fact, Brad and Alfred aren't doing much of anything other than playing with their respective pets and contemplating the upcoming Jury vote.

Luckily, Brad found a stash of gold herbs growing nearby so he's back to his normal self, though looking much more buff than he did when he first arrived. Alfred is still as ditzy, goofy, wimpy, and as fluffy as usual. As much as I hate to relay this information…he's back in the red bikini he was wearing at the start of the show.

I know…I think I might be sick too…

Somewhere on the Island…

Alex is ahead of the former tree bound and now complexly lost survivors. Just behind her, glaring at each other, is Leon and Chris. Walking behind them, carrying the still comatose Alyssa, is Hunk and Nicholai. Birkin is dragging a mumbling Annette along, while Ada, Claire and Yoko drag along a hogtied and gagged Ashley.

Alex is still pissed at Ashley but she is containing it well. Besides after being thrown in a tree, bugged by numerous B.O.W., flew through a hurricane, fought off some lickers, survived being chased by an El Gigante, and even went to far as to give her big brother a good thrashing…a little stuck up blonde bimbo is really nothing worth bothering about. Still the little blonde bimbo is scratching at her last nerve so she has finally gotten with Birkin and the two of them have devised a plan.

In fact, they are on their way to said plan now. With all the hell that group has been through I certainly hope this works out better than the aerosol canned cheese idea…

Tribal Council Area…

Wesker is back in his usual good spirits and appears to have located his former wardrobe to boot. He's back in his black combat outfit, black sunglasses, and even has his normal slick backed blonde hair combed to perfection. He's grinning more evilly than usual it seems.

A few minutes later Brad, with Sanzo, Fluffy, and Cloud, wanders into the area. Cloud, it would appear likes Brad much better than he liked Jill. I guess Brad just has a way with animals, or in this case unnatural B.O.W. Alfred comes skipping in a few seconds later, followed by Lady. Yea, the female Plant 42 is still creeping me out as well.

Anyway…

"Well now, here we are." Wesker smirked looking over our two remaining survivors. "The final two. How do you feel?"

"Pretty good." Brad smiles, patting Sanzo on the head. "Although Alfred and his plant are still creeping me out."

"Yea well, it's creeping me out too, and I'm an evil bastard." Wesker shudders slightly and turns his attention to Alfred. "Oh dear god! Put some freaking clothes on!"

While Wesker, and many, many, viewers at home get violently ill, some of the show's crewman arrive on the scene with some spare clothing…

- Commercial Break -

"Hello."

A very buff and extremely rugged looking man steps out in front of the camera, he is dressed in a UBCS uniform.

"Are you looking for a job where you get to shoot guns all day?"

The screen fads out, showing several UBCS agents blowing holes into some Zombies, Hunters, and Lickers. The agents are laughing and drinking beer as the obviously CGI creatures die, rather ridiculously easy I might add.

"Do you want to be paid obscene amounts of money for very little work?"

The screen changes to an Agent just as he blows away a nearby, and again CGI, zombie. As the dead zombie hits the floor a woman in a very low cut dress hands the agent three large stacks of hundred dollar bills.

"Then I have just the job for you!"

The screen switches back to the rugged looking recruiter as a blonde woman in a bikini struts into the scene holding a large sign which reads: Join the UBCS…earn big bucks…do very little work…IT'S FUN!

"Join the ranks of Umbrella's elite today!"

As the screen fades to black the ad finishes off with an number and a little message:

1-800-UMB-UBCS

Call today…we know where you live…

- Back to the Show -

Wesker, and the viewers at home, are now feeling better. This is of course thanks to the fact that Alfred, pissed though he is, is now dressed in a pair of blue jeans and an black tee-shirt. Incidentally the tee-shirt says: Wesker for Supreme World Leader!. The slogan does not go unnoticed by Brad.

"Uh, Wesker, question."

"Yes?"

"What is it with you and this Supreme World Leader shit?"

"I'm evil, it's what I do."

"Uh…that isn't much of a answer you know." Brad cocks his head. "Why the hell are you evil anyway?"

"Evilness is in my blood!" Wesker holds out his arms, laughing insanely. "It's marching through my veins like…RADIOACTIVE RUBBER PANTS!"

Brad, Alfred, and all the pets stare at Wesker like he has finally and truly lost his mind. Weskerlets his evil laughter trail off, then coughs.

"Now then, we'll bring in the jury."

Nemmy leads the way, followed by Morpheus, Marcus, Billy, Carlos, Jill, Rebecca, and, brining up the rear, Alexia. The eight former survivors take their seats on some conveniently placed risers to Brad and Alfred's right. They look pretty good actually, as the producers let them out of the cage shortly before the show started so they could take a shower and get a change of clothes.

"Now then." Wesker clears his throat, as Bob squeaks from atop his head. "You two will be able to make an opening statement, then each jury member will ask you questions that will no doubt embarrass you and make my night that much more enjoyable, and then when that is over with you two will make your closing arguments. Any questions…no…good. Brad since you won the last immunity challenge you get to go first."

Brad blinks at Wesker for a few moments, wondering if he's going to make another crazy outburst, then finally clears his throat.

"Well, I think you should vote for me because I really wasn't responsible for voting any of you off, with the exception of Jill of course…sorry about that. And, because Alfred is a fluff with bad fashion sense. Thank you."

Alfred glares at Brad, but decides that perhaps the little coward could easily kick his ass. Instead he makes his opening statement.

"I think you should vote for me because Brad is a coward who abandoned everyone to die at the Spencer Mansion."

What happens next is not that surprising…Brad jumps Alfred…

Meanwhile…

After walking, for what seems like hours but was really only about thirty minutes, the former tree bound survivors find themselves on the outskirts of a clearing. Although, they are still well hidden in the tree line. Carefully they peek through the foliage and are more than slightly surprised by what greets them. There, in the middle of the clearing, is a large restaurant, called The Arklay Lab Restaurant and Bar, three large choppers, several trucks, and about a dozen Survivor crewmen are either milling about or sitting in the restaurant's patio drinking.

"Alright, here's the plan."

Alex quickly lays out the plan, expressing how grateful she is that Birkin was paying more than a little attention during the last immunity challenge. It seems that when the chopper showed up to break up the chaotic fight, and get Wesker some medical attention, Birkin paid close attention to where it had come from. He then got together with Alex and the two of them came up with a plan to steal one of the choppers and escape the island.

Though not very happy about letting the chick loose, Ada untied the very irate Ashley. As soon as the gag and ropes come off, Ashley goes on a full on rant. Which even annoys Leon.

"Oh you guys are so going to get it! Do you know who my father is? Why I bet…"

While Ashley is busy ranting, Alex sneaks up behind her, pulling out the can of aerosol cheese they had before used for the Help message. Using her bio-enhanced speed she wrote a message on the bimbo's back and tossed the now empty can into some nearby bushes. Incidentally the message reads: Free Food…Please Eat Me!

As Ashley goes on to explain all the horrible things her father is going to do to them, the former survivors take two steps away from her as a loud crash echoes across the island. Seconds later El Gigante crashes into the scene, knocking over several trees. Ashley lets out a blood curdling scream and does exactly what Alex and Birkin were anticipating…she ran full tilt into the clearing.

The former tree bound survivors watched the pandemonium with much glee involved. Though Leon seems to have a few reservations.

"You know, this is so not going to look good on my work record."

"Don't worry about it Leon." Alex patted him on the back. "Government jobs aren't all they're cracked up to be anyway…"

- Another Commercial -

"Are you looking for fine family cuisine?"

A nice looking Umbrella scientist trots out in front of the camera, lab coat and all. He smiles at the camera as a zombie, dressed like a waiter, shambles out to stand next to him.

"Then come to the Arklay Lab Restaurant and Bar. We served only the finest hand-made B.O.W. that Umbrella has to offer. Not only that, but your dinner will be served by authentic zombies."

The Scientist pats the Zombie waiter on the head. In response the Zombie attacks, trying to eat him. As the Scientist screams bloody murder the scene is hastily replaced by a cute little jingle and an add for the restaurant. Five seconds later the scientist goes running through the screen, still being chased by the zombie…

- Back to the Show -

Alfred and Brad both look like they've been run over by Mack trucks. Alfred's condition is of course due to the beating he received from Brad. Brad's current physical problems stem from Wesker beating the hell out of him, really for no good reason but he claims it was to keep Brad from killing Alfred. Anyway, now that the respective beatings are over, Nemmy is the first to step down and ask his questions.

"starrrrsss, starrrrsss starrrrsss, starrrrsss starrrrsss starrrrsss…starrrrsss."

Translation: Do you feel you played this game well, or did you coast through simply because no one saw you as a threat until very late in the game?

Brad and Alfred glanced at each other, their faces blank, then glanced at Wesker. Wesker shrugged, looking as clueless at them. Nemmy finally growled, threw his hands up in defeat and sat back down. Morpheus steps down next, it flips some hair out of its face and clears its throat.

"Alfred, who do you think is cuter, me or Alexia?"

Alfred's eyes go extremely wide. Needless to say this is a really tough decision for him. On one hand there is his undying devotion to Alexia, on the other hand there is a million dollars at stake.

"Uh…you?"

There is a loud scream of anger from the Jury and Alexia does a flying leap to land on Alfred's head. After ten minutes of her beating the shit out of him, Wesker steps in and jerks Alexia off. He tosses her into a nearby empty cage and dusts his hands off, smirking evilly.

"Proceed."

"Brad, do you think I'm sexier than Jill?"

"Uh…sure, why not?"

Morpheus squeals with joy and sits down. Jill is now glaring daggers at Brad, of course Brad wasn't exactly counting on her vote in the first place. Marcus steps down next and clears his throat.

"Brad, do you think this outfit looks good on me?"

Brad stares at Marcus like he's lost his mind. In the meantime, Alfred piped up and answered the question.

"I like it!"

"Oh Alfred you are such a cutie."

Marcus gives him a smile and sits back down. Brad looks ready to hurl, as does the viewing audience I would wager. Next up is Billy. He steps down looks at the two men and opts to just make a statement.

"I think Alfred is just a freaky little person."

He then sits down and Carlos is next. He opts to not even make a statement, so does Jill, who still looks exceptionally pissed off. So Rebecca trots down, smiling happily at the two men.

"Alright. Brad why did you leave everyone to die in the Mansion?"

"Uh…I was freaked out by Joseph getting eaten by a dog."

"Good answer. Alfred is it true you like your sister just a little too much?"

"Not anymore…"

This answer is met by loud curses and shrieks from the nearby cage. Rebecca smiles and takes her seat. Wesker doesn't bother to let Alexia speak. Instead he motions for Brad and Alfred to speak. Brad of course goes first.

"Well no matter what very cowardly things I've done…Alfred is still a freaky little plant loving troll."

Alfred lets out a high pitched squeak and jumps Brad. Meanwhile Wesker motions for the jury to make their votes. Nemmy starts them out and Alexia finishes off by her cage. Finally, Wesker bops Brad and Alfred on the head with a rolled up magazine, almost knocking them unconscious, and grabs the voting jar. He then graces all those present with the most malicious smirk displayed throughout the entire series.

"Now I know you are just dying to see the results of the vote…well, life's a bitch isn't it?"

While everyone present stares, Wesker heads out of the tribal council area carrying the pot. He then crawls inside a waiting chopper and leaves the island…

Next Time on Survivor…

Back on the mainland we discover who is the winner…

The former tree bound survivors make it back to the mainland and wreck havoc at the reunion show…

Wesker pushes his evilness to the limit…

A/N: I am just so evil aren't I? Yes indeedy people just one more chapter and you will discover who the winner of the million is. Also before people start asking, there will be a sequel to this. Just be patient. Also the RADIOACTIVE RUBBER PANTS line comes from a cartoon called Invader Zim. I've just been waiting for the opportune moment to use it...I find it funny...lol...