A foreboding and consuming grey haze had engulfed the seas and surrounding islands during the night. The fog was ruthless; its biting chill penetrated to the bone and left droplets of bitter seawater in its wake. On a day of such poor visibility, those who wished to venture out were reluctant to do so, for not only the seas are treacherous on such a day…
Upon the long pier of Na-Nal sat a figure completely shrouded and indistinguishable in the murk; she merged with serenity, stillness and silence. With graceful deft, she traced her foot through the dark waters, creating a trail of ripples through her grim reflection. How long she had been there, she did not remember.
Prior to the sheet of fog, her garments had been soaked in a heavy downpour. Now she sat completely numb with the cold as beads of water slid down her elegant face but whether they were tears or not, she did not know.
She was not thinking; she had lost all concept of time and appeared to be cast away into blissful solitude. At a distance did the golden glow of light from the great ship of Obel glimmer; too far to disrupt her loneliness, yet close enough to retrieve a wandering, lonely soul – but much sooner than she had once wished. Like a gloomy mirror, another face glided over the water. To ward away the ghostly reflection, she closed her eyes. The image may have disappeared but in her mind previous events played hauntingly; memories that would not be forgotten easily.
"I thought you might be here." Said a voice from behind. "You're going to catch your death out here."
The young lady sitting at the pier opened her eyes, her face contorted into a snarl at the reflections before plunging her foot into the water to momentarily distort them. She did not reply.
"Here's that letter. I found it after all." The older woman continued as she pulled a crumpled envelope out from her pocket.
"Meaning you wrote it after I left." Paula said as she withdrew her foot from the chilling water.
"Yeah."
"I thought so." Said Paula as she clutched her toes tightly.
The woman settled down on the edge next to her brooding friend. Seeing her blatant disinterest, Elenor waved the letter in front of Paula's face several times. With a disapproving grunt, Paula snatched the envelope from the tactician and let it fall onto her lap. With subtle and graceful movement, she brushed her fingers over the envelope, feeling that there was certainly something more inside than a piece of parchment. She did not want to touch it, for she knew what lurked within. She had wished for these precious moments to last for a lifetime and opening the letter would cease this entrancing alternate reality in the fog. A girl with such rationality and sensibility knew that all dreams must end – no matter how desired or beautiful they were.
Paula clenched her teeth as every glance at the letter sent a foreboding wave of deep trepidation over her body. Its writer certainly did not share emotions parallel to her own; the tactician's dominant movements said far more than words ever could.
"For something that you wanted so badly, you don't seem bothered anymore." Elenor said while trying to suppress a smirk. "In fact, maybe I shouldn't have bothered and went to sleep."
Paula frowned and looked at up at the tactician. She did not sound intoxicated with alcohol as she usually did and her voice was slightly hoarse with exhaustion. Evidence of her weariness was displayed across her face; her eyes were bleary and bloodshot and dark marks of tiredness loomed underneath.
"Did you answer my question?" Paula asked as she ran her fingers over the crisp envelope once more.
"Thoroughly –," the woman stopped and a sneer crept across her face. "More to the point, can you actually read?"
"Somewhat…" Paula murmured as she frowned, while becoming increasingly lost in the tempest of thoughts that frenzied within her mind.
It was not wise to linger upon such dark and irresistible dreams, Paula knew. Was the penance for giving up one's innocence so willingly a desire for sordid nostalgia and a fixation with someone in immersed in their own sins? Open the letter for it all must end eventually.
After only making the slightest motion to open the envelope, she soon felt the tactician's hand upon her arm. "Don't. I'm giving you a condition for that letter."
Paula rested the unopened envelope on her lap and leaned back on her elbows. "Which is?"
Elenor let out a long sigh. "I may be a tactician but war is still something unpredictable. I can't give you certainty; I can't give you a time. Just come to see me tonight afterwards. If I'm there, burn the letter; tear it; whatever – Hell, we'll do it together if you want. After tomorrow, I'll be able to tell you my sins if everything goes according to plan. Today is the day for rectifying an ongoing dispute that I have hidden from for a long time but at a cost I –"
"At the cost of what remains of your dignity." Paula hissed.
"Dignity? You are not one to speak of such things." Elenor said in a low voice.
"Must you go to El-Eal? Personal disputes that mingle with war can only cause havoc. I say this because I care for you – far more than you will ever appreciate."
"I am going to El-Eal. Come the wrath of an arrogant, meddling child so be it."
Paula slowly raised her head to meet Elenor's eyes. "Your adamancy will be the end of you."
By the time Paula had finished speaking, her voice was barely an empty whisper lingering in the misty vapour. The impenetrable silence created by the fog seemed to overpower the desolate pair as they shivered on the dock. The tactician appeared to be mesmerised in her own thoughts. She rubbed her left hand over her forehead repeatedly as if trying to quell what raged within. "Maybe so," she said after some time. "I'm going. I have to do this my own way."
Amidst the bleak and vast emptiness, her voice sounded huskier than ever – not to mention lonely. Paula spoke hurriedly, trying to fight the heavy silence. "But why? I just… cannot understand your logic."
"I wouldn't expect you to." Replied Elenor. "It runs deeper than you know anyway."
"Risking your life needlessly… what folly!" Paula said emphatically through clenched teeth.
"Risking one's life for a cause makes a noble death." Elenor replied; her words were eerie yet beautifully calm.
Saddened by the tactician's ominous words, Paula leaned close to Elenor and placed a hand on her shoulder. The heartfelt sentiments required in such a situation were words that this girl could not muster. Instead she watched small droplets of dew slide from the damp stands of hair that fell elegantly over Elenor's face. The beads of water either trickled down her cheekbones or accumulated on her eyelashes like forbidden tears.
Still staring at the peaceful ocean, Elenor raised her hand to touch Paula's cheek. Feeling the cold dampness of Paula's skin against her palm, she grimaced ever so slightly to herself in sympathy. Yet this was nothing more than a closeness she did not want to explore again. Although the girl yielded to her touch, she guided her face away from her own; the intimacy could vanquish the desolation but to Elenor, submission was justified.
The rising awkwardness of the situation was becoming unbearable for the tactician. She turned away from Paula, but to guise her ignorance seemed utterly impossible.
"You know, Ms. Elenor," said Paula from behind but distinctly closer to her than ever. "A lot of people go to war and never come back. I would hate to think of you as one of them…"
Elenor did not reply and continued to stare at the thick haze as if trying to see what lay beyond. An irrepressible shiver shook her body but whether it was from the cold or Paula's cheek against her own, she was not sure.
Paula's body was pressed against her back and soon she held her from behind in a tight embrace. Paula's hands clutched Elenor so tight that her hands trembled; her heart thudded in her chest; torrid breaths passed over her lips. The rhythm echoed against Elenor's ear and the warmth clung to her neck. Slowly did those memories materialise in her head like the waking of a dormant dragon. Once it awakens, can you escape? Once you consciously recall, can you ever forget? It is so deadly; it is so heinous. It is unleashed.
Once again Elenor's face contorted in a wave of deep sadness; her body was so tense with such raw and tender emotion. She lowered her head and grit her teeth out of pique. Paula had not moved yet her sultry breaths continued to tingle in the tactician's ear, becoming faster and heavier as every moment slid past. With hesitant movements, Elenor raised her hand and placed it upon Paula's. When the chilling dampness from Paula's hand met her own, she withdrew immediately. After a moment of contemplation, Elenor slowly turned around, leering at her polarized counterpart, somewhat envious of her apparent serenity.
There was no way for Paula to escape the silent observation from the tactician's dark eyes as she sat exposed on the dock, still holding onto the letter and its writer. Beads of water trickled down Paula's face; her cheeks were tinted pink with the cold, highlighting her pale complexion. Her expression was now one of great pain; what had just happened neither of them could believe nor would either of them ever forget…
fin