---------(5)-----------

Touya Kouyo's hair was all white, and he looked so frail that Touya half-expected him to fade away at any moment. He kept his eyes on his father, afraid to miss any change. His father had looked old since the last heart attack, but this was the first time he looked tired. This was the five-titled Go pro who had dominated the Go world before his retirement, but now he could barely speak.

"Akira," his father murmured, as he and his mother stood awkwardly by.

Touya leant closer to hear the soft brush of his father's breath against his ear, so soft that it hardly seemed tangible. "It is time," his father said.

It felt wrong to deny it--he had months to prepare himself for it--but Touya opened his mouth to try.

His father shook his head, a faint smile curving his grey lips. "It's all right," he said. "I have had a good life. I have my Go. I have a family: a caring wife and a son that made me proud. I played many good games."

Touya bowed his head.

"It's just that..." his father went on. "I wish that I could have played with him once more." He felt silent, while his chest rose and fell sluggishly.

Touya's head came up. Sai, he thought, then Shindou. He stood up.

-----

Shindou was just outside, in the waiting area reserved for visitors. He was in the middle of a video-call, and as Touya approached, he could hear a woman's voice. Shindou glanced at him upon hearing him approach, but continued speaking.

"Yes, Mari-san. I can't say how late I'll be. Will you be able to stay the night?"

His housekeeper, then. Shindou paid Suzuki Mari highly for her help in keeping an eye on his sons, as well as staying over whenever he had to travel out of Tokyo for games. "Don't worry, Shindou-san, I'll take care of things," Touya heard her say.

Younger, boyish voices replaced Suzuki-san's a moment later, and Touya was close enough to make out Kenji's voice on the video screen.

"Touya-sensei is very ill, and I'm going to stay late at the hospital, okay?" Shindou was saying.

"Is Touya-ojisan going to die?" Kenji asked, his voice childish and curious.

Touya flinched.

Shindou caught his reaction. "Don't talk nonsense," he snapped, but his expression softened almost immediately when Kenji's face crumpled. "Kenji, I..."

Then the face on the screen changed to Kenichi's. "Did you have to yell at him?" Kenichi demanded, looking furious.

"I didn't mean..." Shindou sighed. "Tell him I'm sorry. I didn't mean to yell at him," he said.

Kenichi's hostility faded a little. "Touya-ojisan is really very sick?" he asked. "Like with Great-grandpa?"

Shindou nodded.

"We could come to the hospital..."

Shindou was already shaking his head. "No, you stay home, and take care of your brother."

"But..."

"No." It looked like Kenichi was about to argue, but Shindou continued: "It's difficult enough for Touya."

Surprisingly, it made Kenichi nod, though he did it with a scowl. "All right. You better remember to apologise to Kenji when you see him." The connection ended.

Shindou sighed, and turned to look at him directly. "I'm such a bad father..." he said. "I yelled at my kid."

Touya was surprised into a tired chuckle.

"Is... everything all right?" Shindou asked, watching him. His face grew alarmed. "He isn't..."

"No. He's probably talking to Mother now. Or Ashiwara. Or Ogata." The other two pros had turned up for their regular evening visit, and had been shocked to hear of the sudden turn in his father's condition. "Shindou," he said, bracing himself. Shindou had said before that he never wanted to bring up the matter again.

"What?"

"I know I shouldn't bring this up, but Father was asking." He swallowed. "About Sai." He held himself stiffly, afraid of rejection.

But Shindou surprised him. "Ah," was all he said, before he turned and walked towards the ward.

Touya caught up with him, and placed a hand on his shoulder. "Shindou?"

Shindou gave him a sharp look. "Did you think I wouldn't trust Touya-sensei with the truth about Sai?"

Lost for words, he shook his head. "I..."

"It's all right," Shindou said. "I would have told him earlier, if I knew it was still on his mind." Without a second word, he walked up to the door and opened it.

Ogata, Ashiwara and his mother were there. Shindou bowed, but his eyes were intent on Touya Kouyo lying on the bed. "I'm sorry," he said. "I need to talk to Touya-sensei privately for a few minutes."

Ogata frowned, and looked as though he was about to object, but Touya's mother stood up, giving Shindou a smile. "I understand. Please excuse us," she said, looking first at Shindou and next at her husband.

Touya found himself waiting outside with Ogata and Ashiwara.

After a while, Ogata stood up and paced impatiently. "What is he doing in there?" he asked.

"It's all right, Ogata-san," Ashiwara said. "Sensei had always liked Shindou-san. They must have lots to talk about."

Touya glanced apologetically at his mother, and reached out to hug her shoulders gently. "Shindou won't take long," he reassured her.

As he spoke, the door opened, and Shindou came out, his eyes suspiciously bright. "Touya. Touya-san," he said. "He wants to see you now."

To Touya's surprise, his father looked more cheerful than he had in the last few weeks. He was paler, and still breathing weakly, but he smiled at the two of them.

Touya sat down, his eyes intent on his father. His mother sat down beside him. Touya couldn't help thinking that she looked calmer, no longer as frightened.

"Akira," his father said. "Thank you for asking Shindou-san to talk to me. I think I can understand... his friend. It must be splendid, to continue to play Go like that." There was a wistful note in his voice.

"Father..." He didn't think he could bear it.

"But perhaps it was lonely too," his father said. "Perhaps I'm luckier than him, in my search for the Hand of God."

"Father..." He couldn't help saying it, as though saying it would call life back into his father.

His father smiled at him. "You'll be fine, Akira. I know you're strong. I'm just worried about your mother." His eyes focused on his wife. "Akiko..." he said.

His mother leant forward to clasp her husband's hand tightly. "It's all right. I'll be here. I'll sit here, and I'll wait till it's time," she said, smiling faintly though her eyes were red. "That's what I've been doing all along."

-------to be continued--------